Chapter 4

Social Cognition

• Refers to perception, interpretation, belief, and memory processes used to evaluate and understand ourselves and others

First Impressions

• Initial perceptions remain influential for months
• Snap judgements are influenced by pre-existing stereotypes
• People are judged the second they are met

Primacy Effect

• The first information received about someone carries extra weight
• It shapes the overall impression of them

Confirmation Bias

• People seek information that confirms their beliefs
• They often overlook evidence that could prove them wrong
• Overconfidence is common; people think they are more accurate than they are

Influence of Existing Beliefs

• Existing beliefs influence relationships at every stage
• Partners may see what they want to see

Power of Perceptions

• People often stay happy with their partners by idealizing them
• They use positive illusions that portray partners in the best light

Idealizing Partners

• People judge their lovers with positive illusions, seeing them in the best possible light
• They acknowledge faults but consider them circumstantial
• Partners are judged more positively than others

Attributional Processes

• Delight or distress is affected by how people explain their partner’s behavior
• Attributions are explanations for events and actions
• Attributions are categorized as internal vs. external, stable vs. unstable, and controllable vs. uncontrollable

Actor/Observer Effects

• People explain their own behavior differently than their partner's
• They acknowledge external circumstances for themselves but use internal attributes for others
• This leads to overlooking personal provocation of behaviors in others
• Efforts to understand the other's point of view reduce the discrepancy, but it rarely vanishes

Self-Serving Bias

• Successes are attributed to internal attributes
• Failures are blamed on external attributes

Relationship-Enhancing Attributions

• Happy people make positive attributions for their partner
• These are internal, stable, and controllable
• Negative behavior is excused with external, unstable, and uncontrollable causes

Distress-Maintaining Attributions

• Negative people make negative attributions for their partner
• They exaggerate the bad and minimize the good

Memories

• Memories are edited and updated over time
• Recollections of the past are a mix of what happened and current knowledge

Reconstructive Memory

• Memories are continually revised with new information
• This influences relationships
• Happy individuals tend to forget past disappointments

Marital Paradigm

• Collections of beliefs about whether, when, and under what circumstances to marry
• Including beliefs about what marriage is like
• Established beliefs influence how relationships work

Destiny Beliefs

• Infelxible view of intimate relationships
• Suggesting that happiness is known upon meeting, with no early doubts or difficulties
• Assumption that people are either well-suited and destined to be happy, or they are not

Growth Beliefs

• Happy relationships result from hard work and overcoming obstacles
• With enough effort, almost any relationship can succeed
• Holding growth beliefs leads to more commitment and optimism when facing difficulties
• Those with destiny beliefs are more likely to end the relationship when facing difficulties

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

• False predictions become true because they lead to behaviors that make the expectations come true
• The perceiver forms an expectancy about the target
• The perceiver acts in accordance with that expectation
• The target interprets and responds to the behavior

Self-Perception

• Self-concept includes beliefs and feelings about ourselves
• It includs self-esteem and self-knowledge
• There are two functions fulfilled during interactions

Self-Concept Functions

• Seeking feedback that enhances self-concepts and allows us to think of ourselves desirably
• Seeking feedback that sustains existing self-concepts
• Contradictory information can be unsettling

Importance of Self-Concepts

• Stable self-concepts organize views of the world
• Feedback consistent with existing concepts verifies them and provides comfort

Self-Enhancement

• The desire for positive, complimentary feedback
• Usually sought in a relationship

Self-Verification

• The desire for feedback consistent with one’s existing self-concept
• More important in the marriage shift; more important than self-enhancement

Preference for Verification

• People with negative self-concepts feel better understood by partners who verify their low opinions
• They may not be content with spouses who uplift them

Nonconscious Social Cognition

• Implicit attitudes are unintentional and unaware associations in judgements are evident when thinking about partners
• Implicit attitudes can predict future happiness
• There may be mixed and unconscious feelings towards partners

Transference

• Transferring old feelings to new partners
• Influencing behavior and attitudes based on reminders of significant others from the past

Impression Management

• Controlling the information others receive about ourselves
• People try to be kind, smart, and choose the right words
• Without conscious effort, people fall back on habitual patterns

Strategic Regulation

• Impression management is pervasive in social and interpersonal life
• It may strategically regulate nearly anything people do in the presence of others
• It influence increases chances of accomplishing interpersonal objectives

Strategies in Impression Management

• Ingratiation: seeking acceptance and liking by doing favors, paying compliments, mentioning agreements, and being charming
• Self-promotion: recounting accomplishments or arranging public demonstrations of skills
• Intimidation: portraying oneself as ruthless and dangerous
• Supplication: presenting oneself as inept to avoid obligations and elicit help

Impression Management in Relationships

• Self-monitoring involves adjusting behavior to fit varying social norms
• High self-monitors are alert to social cues and willing to tailor behavior
• Low self-monitors are less attentive and flexible and behave more consistently

Long-Term Partnerships

• People focus less on impression management as they know their partner longer
• Effort to appear likable decreases because partners know and like them for who they are
• Reduced effort is also due to laziness, as impression management requires effort

Accuracy of Perceptions

• Perceptions of partners are not always accurate
• People idealize and are overconfident, perceiving partners as more similar than they are
• Intimate partners gain better understanding with time
• Knowing people better when more motivated, some traits more visible, and those high in emotional intelligence are more adept at judging others

Emotional Intelligence

• Talent for perceiving, using, understanding, and managing emotions
• People with high emotional intelligence read others' feelings sensitively
• Women tend to have higher EQ than men
• Training and practice can improve abilities to understand partners

Impact of Mindset

• Thinking negatively about a relationship can increase the likelihood of failure
• Thinking positively can enhance the relationship
• Relationship-enhancing behavior results from positive thinking