Gary John Bishop - Stop Doing That Sh*t

• The Gary John Bishop book "Stop Doing That Sh*t" tackles self-sabotage by identifying and transforming the cynical and unfulfilling internal dialogue that leads to it.
• It aims to uncover the origins of limiting beliefs and shift from being driven by the past to being pulled by a consciously designed future.
• Self-sabotage stems from foundational conclusions about ourselves, others, and life that were formed early in life which operate subconsciously.
• Overcoming this requires acknowledging these "three saboturs", accepting their existence, and intentionally creating a compelling future to redirect present actions.

The Core of Human Behavior

• Beneath positivity lies a "conversational b*******" that sabotages lives with cynical, constraining, repetitive, and unfulfilling thoughts.
• The book aims to help readers uncover and transform this "b*******".
• Self-sabotage is seen in destructive behaviors like addiction, procrastination, and hindering personal growth.
• Moods and emotions are experienced without understanding their root cause.
• Positive affirmations alone cannot fix the underlying negative emotions and beliefs.
• It is like sweeping dead cockroaches under the rug.

The Origins of Self-Sabotage

• Humans are born as "magic little sponges", open to absorbing everything without preconceptions.
• The initial state is curiosity and discovery, not inherent self-doubt or negativity.
• The sponge hardens over time, trapping experiences and interpretations that shape the subconscious.
• People are "thrown" into life with conditions they can't control like genetics, family, culture, and era.
• While one is not to blame for what was thrown into their lives, accountability is vital moving forward.
• Acceptance of one's "thrownness" is the gateway to real change.
• "Freedom is what we do with what is done to us." - Jean Paul Sartre.

Establishing the "Truth"

• Formative years are about "establishing the truth" which is the subconscious map of reality about ourselves, the world, and others.
• "Your truth and the truth are not the same."
• Self-sabotage is built on an illusion of how we've seen our lives.
• Narratives of our past are created by selecting milestones, which becomes the template for our future.

The Three Saboteurs

• These are fundamental, subconscious conclusions made about ourselves, others, and life during our formative years.
• These become "immovable and permanent stains on your subconscious" that shape our perceptions and drive our actions.
• A sabotur is a "subconscious conclusion that you made at a definitive point of your life".
• Actions align with these underlying illusions.

The Personal Conclusion ("You")

• The damning, repetitive conclusion is made about ourselves, running as a background whisper in the subconscious.
• It is a criticism, an internal repeating flaw we continually try to overcome, but fail.
• Examples include "I'm not smart enough," "I'm a loser," and "I don't matter."
• External validation or accomplishment cannot truly release one from this conclusion.
• Lives are often built around pretending to be someone else to hide this perceived flaw.

The Social Conclusion ("Them")

• This is the fundamental lens through which we see and interact with other people, formed through early interactions.
• It is a baseline criticism about others, not who they actually are, but who they definitively are to us.
• Examples include "People will leave," "You can't trust people," "People don't care," and "People will use you."
• People are constantly tested against this conclusion, looking for confirmation.
• Those who don't fit the preconcieved conclusion are often "written off".
• Gossip reinforces negative social conclusions.

The Life Conclusion ("Life")

• This is the damning conclusion that has been made about life itself.
• It needs to be consciously acknowledged and spoken aloud.
• Examples include "Life is a struggle," "Life is unfair," and "Life is disappointing."
• This conclusion shapes expectations and reactions to life events.

The Point of Experience

• The three saboturs converge to create a unique and familiar starting point in life.
• People constantly operate from this self-imposed starting point, even when pursuing new goals.
• Self-sabotage occurs when venturing into unfamiliar territory that contradicts ingrained conclusions, causing reversion to the familiar.
• True change requires changing ourselves, but the "old you" is resistant to the uncertainty of a new life.

Redirecting Our Lives

• People are trapped in a cycle of trying to overcome themselves based on past experiences which cannot be won.
• The key to breaking free is to shift from being driven by the past to being "pulled by the future".
• Instead of fixing the past, consciously design a compelling future across all areas of your life like finances, relationships, and career.
• This involves envisioning the desired outcome and working backward, addressing anything that doesn't align with that future.
• Become creators, shaping our lives intentionally, rather than warriors fighting against ourselves.

Acceptance and Ownership

• Change begins with acceptance of the current reality, including the three saboturs, without blame or judgment.
• Acceptance doesn't mean liking or agreeing, but acknowledging things for what they are.
• Take ownership of lives, recognizing ourselves as the "one and only true source of change."
• Blaming others keeps us stuck in the past, so "release anyone, including yourself, from blame for how your life has turned out."
• Awareness of patterns is crucial, followed by taking responsibility for what we are now aware of.

Action and the Future

• You cannot find your way by standing still; life is an experiment.
• Constantly ask yourself, "What is my future telling me to do right now?" and act on the answer, big or small.
• Self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings will still arise, but the commitment to the future should guide our actions.
• The future is limitless, and by focusing on creating it, lives can be filled with new actions and outcomes.
• Self-sabotage stems from being "bored out of your freaking mind by your own predictable, safe, ordinary little bathtub of b*******."
• The solution is to reveal a bold future and take action to create it.

Frequently Asked Questions

• "B*******" is the negative, cynical, constraining, repetitive internal dialogue that undermines our lives.
• The "magic little sponge" represents the open state we are born into, ready to absorb everything. A dried up sponge leads to self sabotage.
• "Thrownness" refers to uncontrollable circumstances we are born into, while "established truth" is our interpretation of life experiences.
• The "three saboturs" are conclusions made about ourselves, others, and life, acting as negative filters.
• Our "personal conclusion" is a negative belief about our worth, causing us to undermine successes.
• A "social conclusion" is how we view others, influencing relationships and potentially leading to isolation.
• The "life conclusion" contributes to self-sabotage by shaping our expectations and responses negatively.
• Freeing yourself from self-sabotage involves shifting focus to a compelling future, awareness of the "three saboturs", and taking action that creates a desired one