Revising Business Messages

Revising Business Messages

• Revising messages is often missed due to time constraints
• Sloppy outputs can decrease productivity
• Confusing messages can affect credibility
• Seeking clarification wastes time
• Slowing down is very important, even with short messages
• Revising ensures the message accurately represents the intended meaning and enhances image
• Revision involves editing, proofreading, and evaluating
  • Editing improves content and structure of sentences
  • Proofreading corrects grammar, punctuation, spelling, format, and mechanics
  • Evaluating analyzes whether the message achieves its purpose

Revising for Conciseness

• Concise messages save time and money
• Direct and efficient writing is easily read and understood
• Eliminating flabby writing is important
• Concise wording should be used instead of flabby writing
• Digital documents are revised with strikethrough formatting and color
• Print documents are best revised using proofreading marks

Examples of Flabby/Concise Writing

• "As a general rule" becomes "generally"
• "At a later date" becomes "later"
• "At this point in time" becomes "now. presently."
• "Despite the fact that" becomes "although"
• "Due to the fact that, inasmuch as, in view of the fact that" becomes "because"
• "Feel free to" becomes "please"
• "For the period of, for the purpose of" becomes "for"
• "In addition to the above" becomes "also"
• "In all probability" becomes "probably"
• "In the event that" becomes "if"
• "In the near future" becomes "soon"
• "In very few cases" becomes "seldom, rarely"
• "Until such time as" becomes "until"
• Limit long lead-ins to be more concise
• Delete unnecessary introductory words.

Example of Concise Writing

• Instead of "I am sending you this email to announce that a new manager has been hired", be direct and say "a new manager has been hired"
  • Important information usually follows the long lead-in

More Examples of Concise Writing

• Instead of "We are sending this announcement to let everyone know that we expect to change Internet service providers within six weeks," use "We expect to change Internet service providers within six weeks."
• Instead of "This is to inform you that you may find lower airfares at our website," use "You may find lower airfares at our website."
• Instead of "I am writing this letter because Professor Brian Wilson suggested that your organization was hiring trainees," use "Professor Brian Wilson suggested that your organization was hiring trainees."

Editing Fillers

• Remove unnecessary "there is/are" and "it is/was" fillers in sentences
• Fillers delay the point of the sentence
• Not all sentences need fillers and can be revised

Examples of Editing Fillers

• Instead of "There are more women than men enrolled in college today" make it "More women than men are enrolled in college today"
• Instead of "There is an aggregator that collects and organizes blogs" say "An aggregator collects and organizes blogs"
• Instead of "it was the Globe and Mail that first reported the story", say "The Globe and Mail first reported the story"

Redundancies

• Avoid redundancies when writing
• Expressions that repeat the same idea or contain unnecessary words are redundant
• "Unexpected surprise" is an example, since the words means the same thing
• Adjectives, adverbs, and phrases can cause wordiness
• Redundancies indicate inexperience, not emphasis
• Eliminate writing with redundant expressions

Examples of Redundant and Concise Writing

• Absolutely essential becomes essential
• Adequate enough becomes adequate
• Basic fundamentals becomes fundamentals or basics
• Big in size becomes big
• Combined together becomes combined
• Exactly identical becomes identical
• Each and every becomes each or every
• Necessary prerequisite becomes prerequisite
• New beginning becomes beginning
• Refer back becomes refer
• Repeat again becomes repeat
• True facts becomes facts

Purging Empty Words

• Purge empty words like case, degree, the fact that, factor, instance, nature, quality
• Stating the obvious is too obvious, avoid and omit these statements
• Clauses with that, which, and who are often shortened without loss of clarity
• Phrases like “it appears that” can be reduced to a single adjective or adverb like “apparently”
• Calling a successful company successful is redundant

Message Clarity

• Clear writing is critical for effective communication
• Employees, customers, and investors prefer clear communication
• Fuzzy writing hinders understanding
• Clarity improves understanding
• Use the KISS formula (Keep It Short and Simple), avoid trite business phrases, cliches, and slang

Keep It Short and Simple

• Clarity is more important than being fancy when writing a message
• Aim to express, not impress
• Use the KISS formula
• Use an active voice
• Avoid indirect and pompous language

Example of Improved Writing

• “Employees have not been made sufficiently aware of the potentially adverse consequences regarding the use of these perilous chemicals” becomes “Warn your employees about these dangerous chemicals”
• “In regard to the matter of obtaining optimal results, it is essential that employees be given the implements that are necessary for jobs to be completed satisfactorily” becomes “To get the best results, give employees the tools they need to do the job."

Business Phrases

• Use fresh, vigorous expressions when writing
• Prevent repetitive, stale phrases from being written
• Enhance writing with a businesslike tone by cutting out trite expressions
• Find innovative ways to write engaging copy

Dropping Cliches

• Cliches are over used and lack clarity and freshness
• It's hard for newcomers to understand
• Avoid repeating cliches and find alternative ways to write your message

Examples of Dropping Cliches

• Instead of “as per your request,” use “as you requested/asked.”
• Instead of “pursuant to your request,” use “at your request.”
• Instead of “enclosed please find,” use “enclosed is.”
• Instead of “every effort will be made,” use “we’ll try.”
• Instead of “in accordance with your wishes,” use “as you requested.”
• Instead of “in receipt of,” use “have received.”
• Instead of “please do not hesitate to,” use “please.”
• Instead of “respond forthwith,” use “respond immediately.”
• Instead of “thank you in advance,” use “thank you.”
• Instead of “under separate cover,” use “separately.”
• Instead of “with reference to,” use “about.”

Examples of Cliches

• Below the belt
• Better than new
• Beyond a shadow of a doubt
• Easier said than done
• Exception to the rule
• Fill the bill
• First and foremost
• Good to go
• Last but not least
• Make a bundle
• Pass with flying colors
• Quick as a flash
• Shoot from the hip
• Step up to the plate
• Think outside the box
• True to form

Slang and Buzzwords

• Slang is informal words with changing meanings that may come and go quickly
  • Slang is unprofessional in some business settings
• Buzzwords are technical expressions that impress.
  • Buzzwords are empty with vague meanings

Buried Verbs

• Verbs are converted into wordy noun expressions
• Acquire, establish, and develop are turned into acquisition, establishment, and development
• They often end in -tion, -ment, and -ance
• Zombie nouns cannibalize and drain the vitality from verbs
• Zombie nouns increase sentence length, slow down the reader, and obscure the meaning.
• To enhance the clarity and impact of your writing, avoid buried verbs and zombie nouns

Correcting Buried Verbs

• Conduct a discussion becomes discuss
• Create a reduction becomes reduce
• Engage in the preparation becomes prepare
• Give consideration becomes consider
• Make an assumption becomes assume
• Make a discovery becomes discover
• Perform an analysis becomes analyze
• Reach a conclusion becomes conclude
• Take action becomes act

Controlling Exuberance

• Only use intensifiers when you need to, to emphasize and strengthen your message
• Refrain from using "very," "definitely," "quite," "completely," "extremely," "really," "actually," and "totally”
• Too much use of intensifiers can make you sound unbusinesslike
• To sound professional, control usage of intensifiers

Examples of Limiting Exuberance

• Instead of "The manufacturer was extremely upset to learn that its smartphones were definitely being counterfeited," use "The manufacturer was upset to learn that its smartphones were being counterfeited."
• Instead of "We totally agree that we actually did not give his proposal a very fair trial" use "We agree that we did not give his proposal a fair trial."

Choose Clear Verbs

• Precise words enhance audience understanding
• Clear writing generates vivid mental images
• Specific verbs, concrete nouns, and vivid adjectives ignite clear writing
• Ambiguous references lead to confusion and require further clarification

Providing Clear Examples

• Instead of “she requested that everyone help out,” state, “Our manager asked each team member to volunteer.”
• Instead of “They will consider the problem soon,” state, “Our steering committee will consider the recruitment problem on May 15.”
• Instead of “We received many responses,” state, “The Sales Division received 28 job applications.”
• Instead of “Someone called about the meeting" state, “Russell Vitello called about the June 12 sales meeting.”

Improving Readability Through Document Design

• Well-designed documents improve messages, enhance readability/comprehension and create a perception of being well-organized/intelligent
• The revision process makes formatting adjustments
• Improve using whitespace, typefaces/fonts, lists, impactful headings

White Space

• White space is empty space on the page
• Pages with too much text are unreadable
• Improve white space utilizing headings, lists, and proper margins
• Short sentences (20 words or less) and paragraphs (eight printed lines or fewer) maximize readability and comprehension
• Focus on writing shorter sentences and paragraphs during the revision process

Appropriate Typeface

• Business writers have a wide choice of typefaces
• Typefaces define the shape of text characters
• Serif and sans serif are the main typeface categories for business messages
• Serif typefaces such as Times New Roman suggest tradition, maturity, and formality
• Sans serif typefaces such as Arial, Calibri, Gothic, Tahoma, Helvetica, and Univers are clean and widely used for headings and signs
• Web designers prefer sans serif
• For less formal messages or decorative effects, "happy" fonts such as Comic Sans or bold typefaces like Impact may be chosen.
• Script typefaces can simulate handwriting
• Use all-purpose sans serif and traditional serif typefaces for business messages
• Limit typeface usage to no more than two per document

Appropriate Fonts and Sizes

• Font styles add emphasis to words
• ALL CAPS, Small Caps, and bold are useful for headings, subheadings, and short phrases
• Avoid using ALL CAPS for long stretches of text as it makes it difficult to differentiate words and feels like shouting
• Bold, italics, and underlining are effective for highlighting points and terms
• Use fancy font styles with care to avoid reader confusion
• Body text should be 10-12 point font
• Dense, unappealing type appears small
• Slightly larger type improves readability
• Body text in a large font of 14 points looks amateurish
• A larger font is suitable for headings

Bullet Points and Numbered Lists

• Lists ensure rapid comprehension of ideas, have high "skim value," break up complex information into smaller chunks, improve readability/understanding/retention, and organize ideas/writing
• Numbered lists are used for items in a sequence or to reflect a numbering system
• Bulleted lists are used to highlight items without a chronology
• Capitalize initial words
• Add end punctuation only when listed items are complete sentences
• Maintain parallelism within bullet points and numbered lists

Headings

• Headings separate major ideas from details
• Headings help busy readers skim content
• Headings are used in reports, emails, memos, and letters
• Category headings improve the employment process, attracting applicants, interviewing applicants, and checking references
• Professional document design involves headings, bullets, white space, and changes in font style and spacing during revision

Proofreading

• Writing errors happen even for the best writers
• Important documents deserve careful revision and proofreading
• Documents with errors can damage the organization’s credibility and success
• Proofreading should be done in the final stage
• It is waste of time to proofread before final message
• Taking a break for at least 24 hours before proofreading is recommended
• Proofreading is challenging because people read what they think they wrote
• Target specific problem areas during the process

What to Watch for when Proofreading

• Spelling: Use a dictionary and spell-checker
• Grammar: Check subject/verb agreement and pronoun-antecedent agreement
• Punctuation: Use commas, semicolons, and colons correctly
• Names/numbers: Ensure these are accurate; double check spellings of names
• Format: Check for balanced spacing; compare against similar documents

Proofreading Routine Documents

• Routine documents must be proofread
• It's best to use the down arrow to focus on the bottom of the screen
• Look for typos, misspellings, and easily confused words
• Search for missing words and inconsistencies
• Use standard proofreading marks for handwritten or printed messages
• Use word processing tools for digital documents and collaborative projects

Proofreading Complex Documents

• When proofreading use these strategies for careful and thorough proofreading:
  • Print a copy and set it aside for at least a day
  • Allow adequate time
  • Celebrate when finding an error
  • Reduce reading speed and focus on individual words
  • Get a proofreading buddy
  • Use standard proofreading marks
• The challenges when proofreading writing:
  • Seeing the same information repeatedly
  • Racing over words without careful examination
  • Consider changing the appearance of the text

Feedback

• Writing quality reflects on personal communication
• Write as if to appear in person professionally
• Receiving feedback is essential when writing
• Get feedback from the receiving end
• Encourage receiver to respond for feedback
• Apply feedback and improve communication method
• Instructors evaluate writing and give advice
• Comments focus on writing weaknesses and strengths
• Communication consultants hired by businesses and Course provides training for writing improvement