Relational Transgressions and Costs

Violations of implicit or explicit relationship rules.

Infidelity, deceptive words/actions, and wanting/dating others.

Acts of disloyalty, infidelity, disassociation, personal criticism, relational devaluing, inconsiderate acts, and violent acts.

Comments that make someone feel excluded or unwelcome .

Types include physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological harm.

Social support can either lessen or increase the likelihood of relational transgressions, either discouraging or encouraging harmful behavior

Forgiveness is a conscious act of releasing negative feelings.

Explicit rules are stated directly, while implicit rules are unspoken expectations in a relationship.

Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg combined humor with serious research to explore modern dating practices, examining the impact of technology and changing norms.

Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble provide convenience and a wider pool of potential partners but can also make dating feel superficial and transactional.

Having too many options can lead to decision fatigue, making it harder to commit or feel satisfied with choices, as you wonder if someone better is just a swipe away.

Dating has shifted from traditional rituals like meeting through friends or family to more instant gratification, often relying on texting and online messaging.

Despite digital communication's rise, face-to-face interactions and personal connections remain crucial for forming meaningful relationships.

Many have unrealistic expectations when searching for a partner online, leading to frustration and disappointment.

Changing negative thought patterns by focusing on lessons learned from the relationship or seeing the breakup as an opportunity for growth.

Seeking help from friends, family, or support groups to feel validated and less isolated during recovery from a breakup.

Forgiveness is not forgiving and forgetting completely, condoning the behavior, granting legal mercy, wishing for revenge, or reconciliation. It's a complex process that involves letting go of negativity.

Seeking forgiveness involves taking responsibility for your actions through apology, compensation, offering explanations, or providing justification.

Granting forgiveness involves acknowledging the transgression, extending undeserved mercy, releasing negative emotions, and potentially renegotiating relationship boundaries.

Stability in a relationship is influenced by factors like whether it's voluntary or involuntary, the level of investment, barriers to leaving, and the balance of rewards and costs.

Drifting away is a gradual process of distance and disengagement, characterized by reduced interaction, like less calling or texting.

Breakups on bad terms involve negative actions like betrayal, lying, criticism, or violence, leading to a hostile ending.

Family estrangement involves physical and emotional distance from family members, ranging from not being around them to avoiding contact and ignoring them.

Breakups can be handled either directly or indirectly. Direct strategies are upfront and clear, while indirect strategies involve subtle hints or avoidance.