Listening Effectively and Attentively

Listening Effectively

• Listening with the intent to respond is the best way to listen, as the speaker needs your prompt response.
• "Oxygen" is used as a metaphor to represent the universal need for acceptance, love, respect, and understanding.
• The Golden Rule of Telling includes saying something important, and saying it well, speaking from the heart, and speaking loudly.
• Body language is a subset of nonverbal behaviors. Effective communication involves both verbal and nonverbal cues. How something is said often defines the message conveyed.
• Texting is not usually more effective than face-to-face communication.
• Close-ended questions are less preferred when more information is needed.
• The best way to listen to others is with the intent to understand. A good listener reflects the speaker's main messages, key facts, and felt needs.

Dominant Feelings and Attentive Listening

• Being a "Faithful Translator" is a metaphor for attentive listening.
• Open-ended questions are those that require more than a simple yes or no answer, like "Why do you choose to study in Canada?" and "What so special about that place?”
• Effective telling requires a crystal-clear intention, audio-visual aids, a slower and audible volume, and a good understanding of the audience.
• A study at UCLA noted that only 7% of the message is communicated through words used; most of it comes from nonverbal communication.

Stage Fright and Delivery

• The best way to overcome stage fright is to avoid direct eye contact with the audience.
• A balance between content and delivery is crucial for effective communication in telling a story.
• Holding hands in pockets during a presentation is not the best choice.

Nonverbal Behaviors and Public Speaking

• Nonverbal behaviors constitute over 90% of the message, according to a study.
• "To speak from our heart" helps convey social status, conviction, credibility, and confidence to the audience.
• The second rule of effective public speaking is speaking with confidence.
• Knowing the audience before a presentation is best achieved through interaction.
• "T" is usually the preferred choice when making sound decisions involving ambiguity.

Decision-Making and Negotiation

• The MBTI is not based on the work of Sigmund Freud.
• One's satisfaction in the bargaining process is often affected by comparing their closing price with others.
• A certain level of trust between negotiators is necessary for successful bargaining.

Negotiation - Strategies and Outcomes

• Negotiation involves information exchange, understanding a negotiating opponent's needs, and prioritizing mutual outcomes.
• The more one knows about the opponent, the more power one has in the negotiation process.
• Integrative negotiation involves addressing multiple issues simultaneously to identify common ground and reach mutually beneficial agreements.
• Asking "why" and "why not" to explore interests allows for collaborative understanding within negotiations. Defining the problem clearly is necessary as the first step in negotiation.
• Integrative negotiation is characterized by a focus on mutual interests that achieve a "win-win".

Crucial Conversations

• Absorbing conveyed messages and playing them back to the speaker are crucial steps in the listening process that further understanding.
• Having an “and” mindset (as opposed to a win-lose mindset) is crucial for cooperation and mutual understanding in crucial conversations.
• Crucial conversations occur when stakes are high, emotions are strong, and opinions vary. Significant disagreements on topics, rather than simple differences, lead to crucial conversations.
• If opinions don't vary, it isn't considered a crucial conversation.
• Feeling comfortable in conversations means feeling heard and appreciated, receiving concrete advice, feeling understood and encouraged to express oneself.
• Maintaining positive relationships is more important than agreement in a crucial conversation.
• Silence in a crucial conversation can indicate agreement or understanding, but also can signal disagreement or withdrawal of interest.