13 Questions
What is an important aspect of self-empowerment, according to Doc Childre?
Learning to respect other people's music, but dance to your own tune
Sacrificing being respected in order to be liked can lead to being neither respected nor liked.
True
Why is it important to set boundaries and say no to requests that don't align with your goals?
To focus on tasks that move you forward at work
Commanding respect starts with saying yes to all requests.
False
What is a common trait of people who grow up with alcoholics?
People pleasing
What was the main reason Raymond was chosen to take over the vacated position of sales manager?
He was popular with customers and fellow salespeople
People pleasing is a charming trait in adulthood.
False
Raymond’s approach to management initially worked well for him.
False
What happened to Raymond after several months of struggling as a manager?
He received a harsh lecture from the owner
What is a common behavior of people pleasers?
Placating people in order not to upset them
People pleasing is a successful strategy for gaining respect from others.
False
Setting boundaries means being mean to others.
False
What is the key to becoming a master?
Building boundaries
Study Notes
Importance of Self-Respect
- Self-respect is crucial to earn respect from others, as only by respecting oneself can one compel others to respect them.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky quotes, "If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself."
People Pleasing
- People pleasing is a common behavior where individuals try to gain approval from others by being overly nice and accommodating.
- People pleasing can lead to problems, such as losing self-respect, being taken advantage of, and being unhappy.
- Raymond's story illustrates the consequences of being a people pleaser, as he lost control and respect from his employees.
Why People Please
- People pleasing often stems from a childhood need for approval and attention.
- Individuals who grew up with dysfunctional families or alcoholics may develop people pleasing as a coping mechanism.
- Women are more prone to people pleasing due to their connection to self-worth being affected by relationships.
Characteristics of People Pleasers
- They become overachievers to gain praise.
- They are compulsively organized to avoid mistakes.
- They placate people to avoid upsetting them.
- They are outgoing, friendly, and supportive to earn points.
- They volunteer for new projects to gain approval.
Consequences of People Pleasing
- People pleasing leads to problems with boundaries, saying "no," and taking on too much.
- It can lead to trusting others too easily and giving away power.
- It can even put one's safety at risk.
Setting Boundaries
- To stop people pleasing, one needs to set up boundaries and prioritize self-respect.
- Creating a framework for oneself, thinking of oneself as a master, and establishing rules can help.
- Saying "no" and learning to respect others' boundaries while maintaining one's own is essential.
Action Steps
- Identify people at work whose respect would increase one's success.
- Determine whether they like or respect you more.
- Adopt a behavior that would increase their respect for you.
- Check in with them periodically to see if the new behavior is working.
- Thank them for their feedback and follow through on commitments.
This quiz assesses your understanding of leadership and management principles, including self-respect and taking on new responsibilities.
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