Choosing a Spouse: Religion & Inclinations

Criteria for Choosing a Spouse

• Marital choice encompasses a variety of criteria

Religion

• Religion is a fundamental criterion when choosing a life partner.
• A Muslim woman refuses to marry outside of Islam for religious and psychological reasons.
• While Islam permits a Muslim man to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, marrying a Muslim woman is preferable.
• Religious commitment includes overt indications observable in one's conduct and morals.
• Emphasizing good character alongside religious devotion is vital

Inclinations or Tendencies

• Emotions, a subjective experience within a person, influence preferences for individuals, objects, or ideas.
• Attitudes towards something range from acceptance to rejection, influencing approach or aversion.
• Emotions are either good or negative and may or may not be present in a person.
• Emotional responses vary from agreement to love, with love being the pinnacle.
• Negative feelings range from intolerance to aversion to hatred, which is the most extreme.

Good Conduct

• Good behavior includes adhering to socially acceptable standards, as well as religious and legal guidelines
• This standard involves upholding virtue through deeds and words.
• Individuals are considered righteous when they consistently display honesty, integrity, generosity, and respect for others' rights.
• Upholding virtuous attributes and avoiding harmful behavior is essential for harmonious marital companionship.

Physical Attractiveness

• Physical appearance encompasses external elements such as skin tone, hair, stature, attire, facial traits, physique, and manner of speaking.
• Scientific evidence suggests physical attributes are essential factors in marital selection.

Economic Standing

• Confirming that females are more impacted by the financial standing of a potential spouse is important
• Emphasizing that a man's status, profession, and income are critical for their choice.
• Men from affluent families favor marrying women from similar socioeconomic backgrounds.
• Islamic perspective: the minimal degree of riches is self-sufficiency, which means the male has adequate resources to meet the financial obligations of marriage.
• Islam mandates the man's ability to spend in order for the marriage contract to be valid.

Social Standing and Status

• It is crucial to assess the bases and origins of prestige and high station".
• Money and position are fleeting, true status resides in noble roots, morality, knowledge, and faith.

Professional Standing

• A man's job status is more important than a woman's because he is financially responsible.
• Career also significantly influences a man's social standing and shapes his prospective partner's and her family's view.
• Some guys like college-educated women, while others want women with particular careers, and vice versa.

Education

• Higher education is a favored criterion in marital choice for both, according to studies.
• Female graduates typically reject joining with less educated men.
• Many guys shun marrying more educated women, instead, the general tendency favors partners with comparable educational levels.

Marital Status

• A person's marital status reflects whether they are married, divorced, or single.
• Men often like women who have never been married, whereas women favor men who have never been married.
• Chastity is a desirable quality in marriage for both men and women, describing virgins and those with no past relationships.

Age

• Under Kuwaiti Personal Status Law, Article 26, marriage contracts require the bride to be at least fifteen and the groom at least seventeen.
• Article 36 grants sole discretion to the wife on age suitability, allowing her to reject a suitor based on age.

Nationality

• The favored tendency is toward mating among people of comparable racial heritage.
• Preferring Kuwaitis marrying fellow Kuwaitis, and other nationalities adhering to the same pattern.
• Kuwaiti women put a higher importance on this advantage than Kuwaiti men.

Factors Influencing Mate Selection

• Parents, friends, media, religion and traditions can affect the choice of mate

Parent's Influence

• A study found 70% of university students were influenced by their parents when deciding to marry
• This was especially true for female students

Friend's Influence

• 60% of university students consult with reliable close friends before making a marital decision

Media Influence

• Films, books, and magazines have helped 32% of college students determine attributes they sought or were impacted by in a life mate.

Religion Influence

• Religion influences marital selection both directly (women) and indirectly (men)

Traditions Influence

• Traditions and customs, particularly in tribes and families, still have a role in imposing characteristics linked to lineage, wealth, and beauty.

Study 1: Preferences and Impediments to Marital Choice in Kuwaiti Society (1998) - Khalid Al-Shalal

• The research included 237 single people from both sexes.
• The chosen nationality was Kuwaiti, followed by Gulf, for social reasons.
• The ideal marriage age is 25-30 for men and 20-25 for women.
• 70% believed that falling standards owing to age should entail sacrificing specified conditions.
• 64.4% thought it preferable to follow parents' wishes in rejecting a son or daughter's marriage whether a mate presents in time.
• The most desirable traits include integrity, kindness, lineage, and strong character, were the least desirable.
• The most common social barriers were parental hurdles and difficulty locating someone of comparable social rank, and free choice.
• The most prevalent financial constraints were high marriage costs and difficulty finding a competent individual with sufficient funds.
• The most common psychological barriers included a lack of feelings, distrust of the opposite gender, fear of partner abuse, fear of marital failure, lack of acceptance, lack of a strong reason, and prior negative relationships.

Study 2: Kuwaiti Youth's Marital Choices (1999) by Dr. Hamoud Al-Qashan

• The research polled 193 Kuwait University students.
• Results revealed that Kuwaiti young men still have the power and decision-making in marital selection, despite socioeconomic changes.
• There were no statistically significant variances in selection criteria based on family economic level.
• The family's degree of education influences those disparities.
• Men valued looks and young age in a bride.
• Women emphasized job rank and income.
• Morality was significant for both sexes, with men being especially cautious.
• Relative to other survey criteria, a religious morality was very important.

Study 3: Marital Selection as Perceived by University Students: A Comparison of Kuwaiti and American Youth (2008) by Dr. Issa Al-Buhairan

• The research involved 733 young people in various college fields, with 368 from Kuwait University and 365 from San Diego University.
• Substantial variations were seen between Kuwaiti and American youth in freedom of choice, selection standards, chance in selection, and observed obstacles.
• Both sets of young people appreciated that freedom.
• Compared to Kuwaiti counterparts, American test subjects were more vocal about the need of marital liberty.
• Kuwaiti males place a higher value on choice freedom than females.
• There were no variations in choice freedom among American test subjects.
• A more restrained Kuwaiti sample revealed reduced responsiveness to past love and emotional experiences than the American sample's more open responses
• In comparison to the American sample, Kuwaiti responses placed less quantitative significance on chance in marital selection, indicating restricted or conservative thinking.
• Family traditions and difficulty make choices were more prevalent among the Kuwaiti sample regarding perceived issues with marital selection.

Study 4: Attitudes of Kuwait University Students Towards Marriage and Its Customs (2010) by Dr. Badr Al-Shibani and Prof. Salah Murad

• Including 419 male and 781 female students from 11 Kuwait University colleges.
• Results showed gender differences: early marriage, kinship marriage, freedom of partner selection, premarital love, late marriage, multiple unions, and divorce.
• College of Administrative Sciences students had higher rates of early marriage, in-law marriage, and polygamy.
• Students majoring in scientific subjects have more freedom and affection .
• Early marriage, kinship marriage, and polygamy were more common among liberal arts students.
• (71%) opposed early marriage.
• (69%) linked early marriage to parental pressures.
• (72%) attributed kin marriage to family demands.
• (79%) said in-law marriage causes hereditary illnesses,

Study 5: Views of Higher Education Students in Kuwait on the Need for Premarital Counseling for Kuwaitis (2016) - Dr. Nouria Al-Kharrafi

• The sample included 395 Kuwait University and Public Authority for Applied Education and Training students.
• The questionnaire focused on premarital counseling, relationship success.
• Findings revealed a significant need for premarital counseling.
• The study recommended linking marriage grants to counseling certification.

Study 6: Perferred Physical Pattern between Kuwaitis

• The study aimed to assess Kuwaitis' favored physical patterns.
• There were 1229 participants in the experiment.
• Studies revealed that 35.7% of men and 30.7% of women preferred a slim physical pattern.
• There is a substantial correlation between age, education, economic position, body mass, religion and men’s ethnic origins