Remarriage and Blended Families PDF

Remarriage: - 1 in 4 marriages result in blended family - Divorce and remarriage?: 75% of men remarry after divorce, 66% of women remarry after divorce - Most remarried couples and stepfamilies are happy with their relationships and lives - Experience unique challenges -...

Remarriage: - 1 in 4 marriages result in blended family - Divorce and remarriage?: 75% of men remarry after divorce, 66% of women remarry after divorce - Most remarried couples and stepfamilies are happy with their relationships and lives - Experience unique challenges - Stigma from culture, religion, media Blended family defined: - Marriage where 1 or both partners have a child from a previous relationship - Simplest: first marriage, no kids - Most complex: yours/mines/ours - Lack of studies on racial/ethnic minorities: hispanic/black more likely to enter stepfamilies Benefits: - Men- stability: less healthy single, greater chance of drinking, smoking, poor diet while single, less likely to go to the doctor - Women: financial support Risks: - Greater rate of divorce: 60% end in divorce, 67% if there’s kids involved, most likely in the first 5 years - Why: divorce attitudes, presence of stepchildren Marital happiness, fairness, and conflict: - Little difference in happiness between first and second marriage - Remarriage: greater equity and fairness (house labor), Black lesbian couples have more traditional roles- biological parent has more childcare and house labor- linked authority, role of mother, child well-being - More tension and conflict- especially related to children 3 types of parenting: 1. The primary parent: kids under 10, most harmonious, nurture kids as their own 2. The other parent: kids 10-14, most common, most challenging, loyalty is difficult 3. The older friend: kids 15+, easier role for stepparent, friendship doesn’t threaten relationship with biological parent, first name basis Financial considerations: - Where to live (whose house, sell the other house?) - Future finances (separate or joint): joint- higher family satisfaction - Impact on past finances: social security benefits?, alimony?, pre-marital assets, plans for inheritance, past debts, money habits - Regular meetings to discuss finances 5 guidelines: 1. Adjust expectations- family adjustment can be long (2-4 years) 2. The remarried couple needs to establish their own relationship 3. Let the biological parent carry out discipline of children for 2 years or until they bond 4. Don’t replace a lost parents, let relationship develop gradually (friend, camp counselor) 5. Drop expectations of the need to love each other (children had no choice in remarriage)