TLED 55 Filipino Family & Marriage PDF

TLED 55 \| EDUKASYON PANTAHANAN AT PANGKABUHAYAN WITH ENTREPRENEURSHIP **Chapter 1** **MARRIAGE AND THE FILIPINO FAMILY** Objectives: At the end of the chapter, the students should be able to: 1\. Demonstrate ability to understand themselves and be able to relate with family, friends, and memb...

TLED 55 \| EDUKASYON PANTAHANAN AT PANGKABUHAYAN WITH ENTREPRENEURSHIP **Chapter 1** **MARRIAGE AND THE FILIPINO FAMILY** Objectives: At the end of the chapter, the students should be able to: 1\. Demonstrate ability to understand themselves and be able to relate with family, friends, and members of the opposite sex 2\. Explain what dating is and its importance 3\. Describe the different kinds of dating and explain the recommended etiquette in dating 4\. Explain what going steady and engagement are 5\. Discuss the real meaning of marriage 6\. Explain the qualities of a life partner to have a successful marriage 7\. Discuss the legal requirements for marriage 8\. Discuss the Filipino family's structure, goals, and values 9\. Discuss factors to consider in preparing for parenthood 10\. Explain responsibilities of parents to children and children to parents 11\. Analyze how common problems in married life are resolved 12\. Discuss the signs and symptoms of pregnancy 13\. Explain the importance of health care during pregnancy 14\. Discuss the different discomforts during pregnancy and what remedies can be done 15\. Explain importance of good nutrition for pregnant women Lesson 1 **LOOKING TOWARDS MARRIAGE** As, teenagers you must realize how important friends are. Some may like the company of the same sex but for matured ones, they prefer the company of the opposite sex. This is normal in your age. As you grow older, you'll find a need to associate with the opposite sex. Girls notice boys and may exert effort to attract their attention. Most boys of the same age, however, are not that interested in girls yet. This is the pre-adolescent stage. Teenage friendship is important since this helps develop good interpersonal relationships which is vital to one's success in the future. **Dating** The age at which people start to date varies depending on the person or the home environment. In the most conservative Filipino families, teenage girls are not allowed to date alone. As one matures, she becomes ready to go out alone with her date. Usually, the boy asks the girl for a date. They set the time and place for the date and the boy assumes the responsibility for the girl and pay all the expenses of the date. This is the Filipino custom showing a high regard for girls. The boy even asks for permission from the parents of the girl. In conservative homes, the girl is not allowed to go out with a boy not his boyfriend. Nowadays, both boys and girls go out on dates just to enjoy each other's company with no company with no commitment. They just enjoy doing ordinary things together that bring them close to one another. They try to discover each other's likes and dislikes and later have more intimate relationships. However, it is important that teenagers understand their relationship since serious boy-girl relationships become more physically, emotionally, and sexually intimate that might lead to serious consequences which they are not yet ready to handle. **Importance of Dating** **1. Growth in Personal Attractiveness** Anyone who goes out on a date becomes conscious of his or her appearance. He/she learns to choose the type of clothes that fit him/her. When a girl feels she is admired, she develops self-confidence and this makes her more attractive. **2. Development of Poise in Social Situations** Proper behavior in social gatherings is learned through actual experiences. Young girls and boys need to attend occasions like birthdays, debuts, weddings, or even ordinary gatherings to develop the proper manner of meeting people. **3.Development of Communication Skills** As teens grow, they need to learn proper communication skills. They must learn to communicate through words and actions. Body language is as important as oral communication. Girls and boys like to talk about so many things such as music, literature, arts, movies, cartoons, schoolwork, and a lot of topics they are both interested in. Thus, dating provides a means to develop one's communication skills. One becomes a good conversationalist as well as a good listener. **4. Gain an Understanding of the Opposite Sex** The girl who grew up in a family of boys may be more informed than one who has no brother at all. A boy who grew up with no sisters may be less informed of the opposite sex. One who dates with the opposite sex becomes more interested about what or how the other behaves or likes. **5. Development of Sense of Humor** When one dates, he/she exerts all efforts to make their conversation interesting and enjoyable. Thus, one tries to develop a sense of humor to make their date enjoyable and something to look forward to. **Kinds of Dating** **1. Random Dating** This is what high school students and the pre-arranged meetings do for recreational purposes only with no intention of marriage. **2. Group Dating** This is the kind of dating wherein several girls and boys go together to a party, picnic, movie, or just "drive around". **3. Steady Dating/Single Dating** This implies the regular and frequent dating of a couple alone, over a period, with the purpose of getting married. **Proper Etiquette in dating** **1. When Fetching a Girl** If you fetch your date, be sure to meet the parents of the girl. The girl must introduce the boy to her parents. The girl is also expected to be ready when the boy arrives. **2. Dinner** Where to go and what to do must be planned. Usually, it is a dinner date if you go out for the first time. Choose a place which the boy can afford. Be sure you know the correct table manners. **3. Bringing Home the Girl** The boy must bring back the girl home at the time agreed upon by him and the parents of the girl. He is expected to thank the girl and the girl's parents. **Going Steady** Going steady is the stage when a boy dates only one girl and the girl dates only the same boy. After several dates, a couple gets to know each other well. They may feel they are in love. They begin to understand one another better than ever before and enjoy being together in different situations. They may come to care deeply for one another when each one cherishes and protects the other. They enjoy doing things for one another and find pleasure in sharing things and in discussing their feelings with each other. This feeling is called love, and when two people fall in love they go steady and perhaps later get into marriage. Parents usually allow this kind of relationship for their children who have finished their studies and are of age. Other parents allow this but with certain limitations or rules. **Engagement** Engagement is defined by Clayton as the "publicly announced intention of getting married at some future date. When everything went fine in the going steady period, marriage proposal comes next. At this stage, both parties are convinced that they are ready for a more serious relationship-that of being one in the sacrament of marriage. The engagement period is very crucial to both parties since this is the time they have to decide whether or not they are compatible to achieve a successful union. This is the period when each party must be truthful to one another in all aspects: emotional, financial, and physical capabilities. **Kinds of Engagement** **1. Informal Engagement** This is mutual verbal agreement made to test their love for each other to become better acquainted and to test their compatibility. **2. Formal Engagement** The formal engagement or betrothal is usually executed in writing in the form of a quasi-contract, signed by both parties and the parish priest or two witnesses. Both families should be present. For prominent or rich families, a party is held where the formal announcement is made public. **LESSON 2** **HOW TO HAVE A SUCCESFUL MARRIAGE** **What is Marriage?** Marriage refers to the state of or relation between a man and a woman who have become husband and wife in a ceremony marking their union. (Webster) Marriage confers to the husband and wife the right to engage in an intimate relationship and the dignity and beauty of bringing forth new life. **Marriage is friendship** A husband and wife should be the best of friends. This unique friendship is more intimate and lasting since it is kept alive and warm for each other. It helps each of the partners grow and be fulfilled. It is a lifelong commitment of sharing. **Marriage is a Vocation** Marriage is a calling with a mission of procreation. Husbands and wives have the mission of bringing children forth to life and the obligation to raise them to be morally upright and responsible citizens. **Marriage is a Lifetime Commitment** *Ang pag aasawa ay hindi kaning mainit na isusubo at iluluwa kapag dila'y napaso.* A common Filipino saying which serves as a reminder to couples planning to get married. Marriage is a sacred thing, beautiful realization of two people in love. It is a lifetime commitment. Thus, you must not plunge into it unprepared. **QUALITIES TO CONSIDER IN CHOOSING A LIFETIME PARTNER** **1. Physical Qualities** A lifetime partner must be healthy both in mind and body. In some countries, a physical check-up for sexually transmitted diseases is being done before engagement. Good family background is likewise ascertained. Age difference should also be considered which may affect compatibility and might create problems in the future. **2. Psychological Qualities** A certain level of intelligence is necessary in marriage. Husbands and wives who share the same interests or have a healthy and intelligent exchange of ideas have a better chance of having a happy and more lasting relationship. Emotional maturity enables a person to get along with other, to be tolerant, patient, understanding, and dependable to love and accept others as they are. Individuals who are neurotic, selfish, and egocentric do not make good lifetime partners. **3. Ethical Qualities** The ethical qualities one must look for in a marriage partner are truthfulness, purity of mind, temperance (especially in gambling and drinking) frugality, modesty, loyalty, and honesty. **4. Religious Qualities** The main religious qualification to be sought in one's mate is the profession of the same religious belief. It is a solid basis for family unity. A partner for life should be faithful and regular in the practice of religious duties. **Requirements for Marriage** To be able to marry, two things are required as embodied in the Family Code, articles 2 and 3. These are the following: 1\. The essential requirements include the legal capacity of the contracting parties (male and female) and consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer. Legal capacity, as embodied in the Family Code, is 18 years old and age of consent is 21 years for both parties. Any marriage contracted below 18 years old even with the consent of parents (or guardians) is considered *void ab initio* under Article 30 of the Code. Article 37 of the Code also states that ascendants and descendants of any degree (brother and sisters, half or full-blood, grandparents, and grandchildren) may not marry each other because marriages between them are considered incestuous and void from the beginning. Also embodied in Article 38, the marriage between collateral blood relatives up to the fourth civil degree, adopters and adoptees and their children, step-parents, and step-children, parents-in-law and children-in-law, are not allowed and shall be void from the beginning. Consent is freely given when the contracting parties are free from any vice of consent, free from any fraud, force, violence, intimidation, undue influence, or the state of unsound mind. The law requires parents or guardian's consent or any person having legal charge over the contracting parties, if they are between 18 and 21 years old. The absence of such consent may result to the annulment of the marriage. If the contracting parties are between 21 and 25 years old, parental advice is required as embodied in the Family Code. The absence of such advice delays the marriage for three months. 2\. The formal requirements include the authority of the solemnizing officer, a marriage license and a marriage ceremony which takes place with the appearance of the contracting parties before the solemnizing officer and their declaration to take each other as husband and wife with two witnesses of legal age. Article 7 states that marriage may only be solemnized by the following: a\. Any incumbent member of the judiciary within the court's jurisdiction. b\. Any priest, rabbi, imam, or minister of any church or religious sect registered with the civil registrar general. c\. Any ship captain or airplane chief in case of marriages at the point of death between passengers and crew members as mentioned in Article 31. d\. Any military commander at a unit to which a chaplain is assigned in the absence of the latter, during a military operation in case of marriages at the point of death between persons within the zone of military operation, as embodied in Article 32. e\. Any consul-general, consul or vice-consul in the case provided in Article 10 in case of marriages between Filipino citizens abroad where the consul is assigned. \* Mayors and ambassadors are no longer authorized to solemnize marriages. The contracting parties shall file (separately) a sworn application for such license with the full names of the contracting parties, place of birth, age and date of birth, civil status. If married previously, how, when and where the previous marriage was annulled or dissolved, present residence and citizenship, degree of relationship of the contracting parties, father's and mother's full name, residence and citizenship, full name, residence and citizenship of the guardian in case the contracting parties have no parents and are 21 21 years of age. The absence of any of the essential requirements will mean that the marriage has no legal effect, while the absence of any of the formal requirements will make the marriage voidable. Any irregularity, however, does not affect the validity of the marriage but the person responsible for such irregularity shall be civilly, criminally, and administratively liable. **Family Structure** At present, the family is faced with changing lifestyles and ever-increasing mobility. Despite this reality, the family remains to be the central element of family life. It will continue to serve as a refuge from the uncertainties of the outside world and the main source of love, warmth, affection, and security. A family is composed of father, mother, and children living harmoniously under one roof. This is called a nuclear family. In other households, a family includes other relatives like uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, and grandparents, co-existing beneath one roof. Is your family nuclear or extended? Whether it is nuclear or extended, every member is important...you are important. Your own development is influenced by your family. It is the very place where you form your values, develop good health habits, and learn habits and learn more about life and marriage. All these are geared towards preparing you for a bright future. **Family Goals and Values** An ideal family is one where all the members work harmoniously towards the attainment of a common goal. However, there are times when family goals complete or interfere with personal goals. This situation may result to conflicts and frustrations. Such conflicts and frustrations may be avoided or easily solved if there is a philosophy that has been developed at a very early stage. This philosophy gives direction to family life especially in making important choices and decisions. What is philosophy? It is a point of view or outlook in life upon which the attitude and behavior of an individual or group is based. The philosophy that you uphold affects how you think, how you feel and how you act. It serves as your basis for deciding what is right and what is wrong. If you believe in the importance of education, if cleanliness and orderliness are values that you uphold, then you would aspire to keep yourself and your home clean, neat, and orderly always. The goals of homemaking and family life stem from the family's philosophy. Goals that are future-oriented are called *long term goals* while goals that must be realized within a short span of time is called *short term goals.* Long term and short-term goals serve as motivating factors to human behavior. Let's take your own goal as an example. You study hard to pass your final examination which is essential in the achievement of a goal-that of finishing high school. You want to go to college to realize a long-awaited dream-that of becoming a doctor someday. Consequently, the goals of individual members stem from the inner desires influenced by the family's resources at hand. You want a college degree but you lack money. Or you may even want to become a lawyer yet you could not face a crowd. It is therefore important to align your goals with those of the family and to consider the family's resources both human and non-human. Amid these desires is the ability to prioritize, the values that we hold dear surface. When we know our values and live accordingly, we are being led towards personal integration. It involves the three domains affective, cognitive, and psychomotor. **LESSON 3** **TOWARDS RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD** **Preparing for Parenthood** We have discussed earlier family structures-nuclear and extended. Experts claim that the nuclear family remains to be the ideal family. However, there are a lot of family variations that were successful. Whatever family structure you belong to, it will have an important role upon the happiness of your child. **Factors to Consider in Preparing for Parenthood** Many parents desire to have more than one child. As soon as the mother is pregnant with her first child, husband and wife start thinking of when they want to have their next child. This is but natural for beginning parents and to have another child is more of a personal choice. 1\. Spacing. Many parents choose to wait a little longer until the first chils is no longer in the infant stage which demands for their full attention. The responsibility of having to raise two infants at one time may be too overwhelming for some new parents. While for some, having to raise their children in quick succession may be a lot easier than having an infant and a toddler with conflicting needs and who would be demanding for a lot of attention-switching. The roles you want your children to assume would be a very good factor to consider as far as spacing is concerned. Children born far apart from each other would often develop a caretaking role with younger siblings. Siblings that were born closer with one another will more likely relate with one another as playmates. One thing is sure to happen-fighting incidents. All siblings are going to fight from time to time that when it is not handled effectively, will affect their relationship to a certain degree. 2\. Birth Order. Birth order is defined as the child's place in the family. It carries certain traits which affect your child's perception of self and how you will act as a parent. An example is the expectation that first born children should be more responsible and that they should help in taking care of their young sibling. Studies conducted show that birth orders affect children's perceptions and feelings. It is therefore important for parents to know how birth order may affect a child. In the same manner, parents should take this as an opportunity to see how birth order may cause parents to neglect the individual needs of their children. **a. Firstborn Child** The firstborn child is the "trendsetter" in the family and under normal circumstances, will always enjoy the position of being the oldest. They are known to be very dependable, responsible, loyal, and protective. They often assume the role of little parents to their younger siblings. Firstborns are aware of the great expectations that their parents place upon them. **b. The second child** The second child experiences a totally different environment from the firstborn who has already opened the gate for him. The second child often assumes the role of a rebel, an entertainer, a clown, an artist, a troublemaker, a loser, a peacemaker, or a negotiator in the family. **c. Middle child** There is always that feeling of relief expressed by the middle child. This time parents are already used to rearing their children so some of the pressures of child rearing are already out of the way. But despite a more relaxed atmosphere, middle children are not given as much responsibilities as the firstborns and they feel unappreciated by their elders. What aggravates the feelings of the middle children is the fact that they must be contented with hand-me-downs from the older children. They see themselves as a very dependable member of the family, self-reliant, diplomatic, and easygoing. **d. The Youngest Child** The youngest child, being the baby in the family, is accorded a special status. Parents do not expect too much from them and they do not have to do much to get what they want. Usually, currently, the parents are already financially stable and in a better position to provide their children more and better things in life that the older children were not able to enjoy earlier. The youngest child is given material things and special attention not only by the parents but all the other members of the family. He/ She knows that he/ she has a special place in the family and he/ she uses this to get what he/ she wants. He/ she plays the role of the little one, the cute one, the spoiled one, the precious angel, or the one with a temper. The youngest child does not want to be called "baby". He/ She too, wants to be regarded seriously. Because as a child, he/ she had been surrounded with authority figures. He/ She may never really grow up because his/her parents never allowed him/her to. Parents unconsciously or consciously wanted their babies to stay as their cute, precious last child. **e. Only Child** Sometimes, parents want only one child for many reasons: a plan to have only one child, stillbirths, miscarriages, deaths, health problems on the part of the mother, and financial reasons. Whatever is the reason for having an only child will greatly affect the parents' attitude towards their child and how he/she regards himself/herself. The only child is seen as a loner, very responsible, lucky, perfect, fragile, strange, and very special. The only child may feel very lonely because there is no one to interact with. And because he/ she is not used to it, he/she may have difficulties relating with their own age when given the opportunity. Being the only child, the only apple of the parents' eyes, so to speak, all their attention, their hopes, and their dreams are focused on him/ her. This makes the only child pressured, confused on what to do especially when his/her parents' dreams and aspirations are totally different from his/hers. **f. The Latecomer "Only" Child** A child born several years after the "supposed last child" experiences some of the things experienced by an only child. He/ She also becomes the baby of the family. Parents may not expect too much from him/ her. He/ She is luckier in the sense that he/ she does not have to share the parents' attention with another sibling. However, he/ she can be very lonely and often feels the different feeling that an only child feels especially when his/her parents are much older than the parents of his/ her friends. There is one advantage of being a latecomer. There is little sibling rivalry and his/ her older brothers and sisters can share in taking good care of him/ her. This may afford the family members a chance to learn nurturing skills and allow them to see for themselves how they were cared for as a child. **Steps for Resolving and Coping with Problems in Married Life** **1.Resolve differences as soon as possible** Both should be honest and tactful. They should discuss their differences by stating what is felt or thought about. In this case, it does good to avoid insults, temper tantrums and quarreling. Both should also select the proper time and place to talk together, each should listen to the partner's side. Try to reach an agreement, do not delay. **2. Compromise** This implies the willingness of both partners to sacrifice a part of their position. **3.Conversion** It is the willingness to completely surrender one's position, plans or suggestions and accept those of the spouse. 4.**Counseling** Sometimes a couple must accept assistance from outside help because they may be too emotionally involved in a situation or problem to see their way clearly. **5. Acceptance** There are occasions when the wisest attitude is to take one's partner as he/ she is. **LESSON 4** **PREPARING FOR MOTHERHOOD** **The First Period of Pregnancy** The happiest moment in the life of a woman is when she learns she is pregnant. This is also true for the father-to-be. The nine months of pregnancy is full of excellent and adjustment for both parents. The first symptoms and signs though not very conclusive at the start of pregnancy is what we call the early morning sickness-this is dizziness with vomiting-though for some pregnancies this may not be present. Delayed menstruation for two months may already be conclusive of pregnancy. The woman can now see her doctor. She must go to an obstetrician. The doctor administers pregnancy test or simply conducts an internal examination. **Importance of Health Care (Pre and Post Natal) during Pregnancy** The pregnant woman can still live a normal life by following these tips: **1. Be always happy.** The baby feels what the mother feels. Even for unwanted pregnancies as in teenage mothers, the baby can feel if the mother wants the baby to be aborted. **2. Talk to the baby in the womb.** Rearing starts from the womb. Discipline starts from the womb. So, in case the mother feels that the baby is kicking, should talk to the baby to show her love and utmost care. **3. Consult a doctor for a monthly check-up.** Here are the guidelines for a normal growth of the baby in the womb. 2 Months -- The baby is only 25 mm long. 4 Months -- The baby weighs about 135 grams. 6 Months -- The baby moves and kicks. 7 Months -- Now the baby weighs about 1 kg. 8 Months -- The baby settles upside-down. 9 Months -- Ready to be born. **Discomforts of Pregnancy** Some women look very beautiful when pregnant while others seem so burdened. Here are some discomforts of pregnancy and their possible remedies. **1. Nausea and vomiting** This results from hormonal changes or may be caused by an empty stomach, certain odors, fatigue or certain food like fatty food, spicy food, and caffeine. Remedies: a\. Refrain from being hungry. b\. Include high-protein food to prevent drop in blood sugar which causes nausea. c\. Include high-carbohydrate food in snacks. d\. Drink milk regularly. **2. Constipation and Hemorrhoids** Constipation results from iron intake, lack of fluids, and inactivity. Hemorrhoids results from severe constipation. Remedies: a\. Increase fiber intake. b\. Increase liquid intake. c\. Drink natural fruit juices. **3. Heartburn** This is caused by too much acid in the stomach or caused by indigestion. Remedies: a\. Eat small amounts of food rather than three big meals a day. b\. Raise the head of the bed two to three inches blocks or put pillows under your head. **4. Varicose Veins** This is an enlarged vein due to stretching and consequent thinning of the vein wall. It is aggravated by the pressure exerted in the pelvis by the weight of the baby in the uterus. Remedies: a\. Wear comfortable clothing and shoes. b\. Avoid long periods of standing. c\. Lie down with legs frequently elevated (buttocks against the wall and heels rested against the wall) **5. Edema** This is swelling of the lower extremities which is caused by retention of water and pressure. Remedies: a\. Eat a balanced diet. b\. Avoid salty food. **6. Backache** This is due to the weight of the growing uterus and fetus. Remedies: a\. Maintain good posture. b\. Always use low-heeled shoes. c\. Ask your doctor about exercises for pregnant women. **Good Nutrition for Pregnant Women** What to eat and how much to eat are two things that must be given utmost importance during pregnancy. You need an extra 300 calories to your diet. For pregnant women, the recommended daily caloric intake is 2,100 or 2,400 calories. Weight gain during this period is a good guide to how well you are meeting your caloric intake. **1. Protein.** There should be an increased intake of protein during pregnancy to provide for growth of the growing baby inside the mother's womb. It is also needed for the breasts in preparation for milk production, for the uterus and placenta, for the increased blood volume and for the production of amniotic fluid. The recommended daily amount of protein is from 46 grams before pregnancy to 76-100 grams during pregnancy. **2. Iron.** Iron is an important nutrient during pregnancy because it is necessary for the formation of hemoglobin both for the mother and the fetus. Hemoglobin is the oxygen-carrying component of blood. Also, during the last trimester of pregnancy, the baby draws from the mother some of the iron reserves that will help him/ her from becoming anemic during the first four to six months after birth. Lastly, the increased blood volume and iron deposits help the mother's body to adjust to the blood loss that happens during pregnancy. Iron supplements are absorbed well when taken with foods rich in vitamin C such as oranges, guavas, and grapefruits. Absorption is prevented if they are taken with antacid. Taking in of iron supplements can cause an upset stomach, constipation, or nausea. This can be avoided by getting much of the iron needed from iron-rich foods. Good food sources of iron are meat organs, red meat, egg yolk, and legumes. **3. Calcium.** The need for an increased intake of calcium during pregnancy is needed for the development and growth of the baby's skeleton, heart, muscles, and tooth buds. An inadequate intake of Calcium results to the depletion of your own Calcium reserves. Excellent food sources of Calcium are milk and milk products such as yogurt and cheese. Canned whole fish can also be a secondary food source for Calcium. A Calcium supplement prescribed by a doctor can also provide for the needed Calcium. The recommended daily requirement for Calcium is 800 to 1200 milligrams. **4. Vitamins.** A daily increase of about 25 to 505 of almost all vitamins is required for pregnant women, while folic acid is double the regular requirement. A diet that is varied and of high quality will supply most of the needed vitamins except folic acid. Folic acid supplements of about 200 to 400 micrograms are highly recommended to cover the large increase in the folic acid requirement in pregnant women. Folic Acid is essential in synthesizing cells and in the production of DNA and RNA. Liver, lean beef, legumes, egg yolks and leafy-dark green vegetables, are good food sources of folic acid. \*\**Eating fresh food that are varied and of high quality and cooked food that are carefully chosen and prepared will assure a pregnant woman of food that will provide her with the nutrients that she needs to support her baby and herself.*