SELF and Particular Others PDF

SELF *The self is a complicated, multidimensional process. THE JOHARI WINDOW *We develop notions of who we are and aren’t because of our interactions with others from the time we are born until the time we die. *We develop images of ourselves, both positive and negative, based upon the messages o...

SELF *The self is a complicated, multidimensional process. THE JOHARI WINDOW *We develop notions of who we are and aren’t because of our interactions with others from the time we are born until the time we die. *We develop images of ourselves, both positive and negative, based upon the messages others communicate to us. *In many cases, we are dependent on our interactions with others in order to experience who we are (ex. If you believe you are generous, you need others, with whom you can be generous, in order to demonstrate and experience your own generosity). Self-concept components: -attitudes (likes/dislikes) -beliefs (true/false) -values (good/bad; right/wrong) Self-esteem- What you think about your worth PARTICULAR OTHERS (family members/peers) -self-fulfilling prophecy—when we internalize others’ expectations or judgments about us and act in ways that are consistent with these expectations and judgments. -social comparisons—comparing ourselves to others (this is normal; the goal is to make REALISTIC comparisons) -direct definitions—positive and negative labels that directly define us -identity scripts—rules for living and identity -reflected appraisals—our perception of another’s view of us—we often reflect what we think others think of us Attachment Styles—How we approach relationships; these are influenced by communication patterns we experience with our caregivers. Some things to keep in mind about attachment styles: -They are not permanent/they can change -They alone do not determine the fate of your relationships. They are part of an overall interpersonal system (you) that is made up of many components. -Conditions such as socioeconomic status can influence the development of attachment styles. -secure—most positive; this style develops when the caregiver is consistently loving and attentive to the child *as adults= outgoing, affectionate, okay with the ups and downs of close relationships; tend to be more confident in relationships and comfortable with being single *Two-thirds of children in middle class families develop a secure attachment style. Children in poorer families are less likely to develop this attachment style. Why do you think this is the case? -fearful—develops when the caregiver communicates in a negative, rejecting, or even abusive way to the child *as adults= feel unworthy of love; sees others as rejecting; insecure in relationships (low self-esteem); might subject themselves to negative or abusive relationships; sometimes sabotage relationships due to feeling unworthy -dismissive—develops when the caregiver communicates in a disinterested, rejecting, or abusive way *as adults= sees others (not themselves) as unworthy of (their) love; often sees relationships as unnecessary; sometimes distant and avoidant; reluctant to get too close (even though deep down they crave closeness) -anxious/ambivalent—most complex; develops when the caregiver is inconsistent in treatment of the child *as adults= preoccupied with relationships (thinks about them a lot in both positive and negative ways); also inconsistent (one day wants a relationship, the next day does not); often afraid of losing relationships; needs a lot of reassurance from partner; sometimes prefers fantasy of ideal relationship instead of actual relationship