Understanding The Self: Sexual Self Midterm Lesson 2 PDF

UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF Introduction Our sexuality is part of who we are. Whether we feel comfortable talking about it or not, it is undoubtedly an aspect of our self that the earlier we properly learn about, the better we can under...

UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF Introduction Our sexuality is part of who we are. Whether we feel comfortable talking about it or not, it is undoubtedly an aspect of our self that the earlier we properly learn about, the better we can understand who we are and who we can become. In this chapter, we will try to deal with sexuality from an academic and scientific perspective relevant to understanding who we are so we may know better how to take care and protect ourselves and even those we love Sexuality is commonly defined as "the ways people experience and express themselves as sexual beings" (King, 2014, p. 373). However, the World Health Organization (WHO) provides a working definition of the term "sexuality" that encompasses or specifies much more. As you read the definition by WHO, try to digest it sentence per sentence and see how it helps you in better comprehending the concept. Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex. gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed (WHO, 2006a as cited in "Defining Sexual Health," 2018, para. 6). Our view about sexuality is heavily affected by education, occupation, income, economics, law, politics, history, media, society, culture, and religion ("Defining Sexual Health, 2018; McKee, 2013). Recognizing that numerous factors influence one's view about sexuality since we were young explains a lot - as we observe and make sense of the lives of people we know, the communities we have seen, and even the way we ourselves react or respond to various issues on sexuality. Asking about or admitting ignorance on the topic of sexuality in the Philippine culture seems to be taboo or degrading. This seems evident in the "few data collected nationally on sexual health, or sexual practices or behavior" ("Defining Sexual Health, 2002, p. 16). Ignorance has to be addressed through proper education. Sex education may not yet been implemented in our country but this does not mean that learning cannot take place. If more Filipinos would continue to learn, whether formally or informally, about proper sex education, then it may be indirectly passed on to young children through teaching proper hygiene or through being discerning of a child's actions, reactions, questions, or comments about sex. Sex education is not to promote sexual intercourse but to promote good sexual health and safety from sexual violence. "Withholding information about sex and sexuality will not keep children safe; it will only keep them ignorant" (Hauser, 2013, para. 2). We may have encountered the terms sex and gender being used interchangeably. For better comprehension, we have to ascertain that these two terms are not synonymous. Katz- Wise et al. (2016) states that: Sex refers to a person's characterization as female or male at birth, typically based on the appearance of external genitalia or other biological characteristics including chromosomes, whereas gender refers to social characteristics that may be (or not be] aligned with a person's sex and adopted by an individual as their gender identity (para. 4).  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF Development of Secondary Sex Characteristics Puberty could have been less stressful if only we were properly oriented of what to expec physically and emotionally lust by reading a few academic books on sexuality, v comforted to know of how normal the things and feelings we thought were/are abnormal of how we are not alone and that everybody or anybody experiencing puberty has undergone the same things we have tried to hide and pretended not to have come across we would be "It's natural for everyone to become more sexually aware, but it doesn't mean you are ready to have sex" (Cole, 2009, p. 11). "Puberty is the one to three-year process of hormonal and physical change that causes the young person to reach sexual maturity, girls usually entering it about a year for two than boys" (Pickhardt, 2010, para. 3). Though expected to transpire, puberty is not a one size fits all experience. It could manifest in varying rates and specific ages. Every individual "develops and reacts in different ways" due to factors like stress, weight, "nutrition, hormonal activity, and inherent characteristics" (Cole, 2009, p. 4) "On average, the pubertal growth spurt for girls starts at 9. peaks at 11 %; for boys, it starts at 11 1/2, peaks at 13 4" (King, 2014, p. 359). During this time, one's secondary sex characteristics develop. "Secondary sex characteristics are traits that differ between the two sexes but are not part of the reproductive system, they include breasts in females and facial hair in males (King, 2014, p. 359) As the secondary sex characteristics manifest in the stage of puberty, there is a concurrent development happening in the brain. "The emotional region of the brain develops maturity ahead of the part controlling the rational thought" (Cole. 2009, p. 8) Emotions tend to take over which makes the transition to adulthood and sexual maturity more challenging. Since most teenagers are not oriented on the drastic transformations and temporary emotional takeover, sentiments and anxieties are not communicated and handled well-which may be misconstrued by adults/relatives as mere drama, attention seeking, and rebelling maneuvers. Supposedly simple things such as choosing sanitary napkins, panty liners, brassieres. shaving products, acne solutions, or deodorants become gargantuan tasks. Even seeking for help, asking questions, or just discussing with parents/elders about the changes encountered becomes an embarrassing ordeal. Mishandled stress, sadness, shame. low self-esteem, unmet expectations, from school. work, family, and peers, may lead to depression. Depression, not immediately addressed, leads to graver problems like mental instability even suicide.  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF Moreover, "young men are more likely to be arrested than anyone else in society. Statistics show that for most boys, criminal. behavior begins around the age of 13, peaks at 17 and disappears in early adulthood" (Cole. 2009, p. 10) All adults have gone through puberty but not all adults have gone through proper sex education. May the current and next generations be better guided and protected through quality and free education. Erogenous Zones Being aware of the erogenous or sexually stimulating zones of both sexes seem to be interesting or awkward when discussed in class. But this is definitely relevant and beneficial not only for sexual excitement but also for protection against sexual violence. When the erogenous zones are touched, there is an expected automatic sensation. However, the quality of the sensation depends on who and how the zones are being touched (Evans, 2015) Below is an image showing the erogenous zones of males and females. Erogenous zones are usually discussed in magazines, on the net, and casual conversations mostly in relation to pleasurable sex by consenting adults. Unfortunately, horribly, sex does not always happen with consent and it is not always pleasurable, safe, and healthy. Though far from being a pleasant topic, we all need to be aware of the importance of how to take care of ourselves, protect ourselves, our loved ones, and the young children from the reality that we are still working on eradicating: sexual violence. "You're NOT a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth, and raging courage" - Alex Elle Continue reading with an open mind and a courageous heart. This is not to scare you but to equip and empower you with knowledge and vigilance, and even the capability of protecting and helping others. Sexual violence is defined by WHO (2012) as: any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances, or acts to traffic, or otherwise directed, against a person's sexuality using coercion, by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim, in any setting, including but not limited to home and work (p. 149). In our own ways, we can prevent sexual violence, one little step at a time. Be aware. Be vigilant, not paranoid. Educate others how they can protect themselves. Increase media literacy. Filter what ideas you expose yourself to. Talk to people who can help and report to concerned agencies based on Republic Act 9262: Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD); National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW); Civil Service Commission (CSC): Commission on Human rights (CHR) Council for the Welfare of Children (CWC); Department of Justice (DOJ); Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG); National Police (PNP);  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF Philippine Department of Health (DOH); Department of Education (DepEd); Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE); and National Bureau of Investigation (NBI). Understanding Human Sexual Response Media show numerous concepts about sex, lust, and desire, which could be explicitly or implicitly embedded in ads, magazines, movies. TV shows, radio programs, games, etc. The portrayals on sex are left for the general public to process. If the audiences are not high media literate, concepts of healthy-safe sex, morality, and even love could be blurred and become double standard. "Falling in love is stronger than the sex drive" (Fisher, 2005, p. 60). [Love is almost uncontrollable but sex drive is definitely controllable!] Sex is also at times called "love making" giving premium to the act being based on and done out of love. Science, like it always does, tries to explain the thing we call love. Despite the many efforts, it admits not being able to identify the exact reason why we fall in love with a specific person. However, it is able to give reasonable bases and glimpses of what happens inside our brain in the stages of love. It also gives us tips on how to keep the chemistry alive. According to Fisher, "we are drawn to certain people not only for cultural reasons, such as socioeconomics, intelligence, and values, but also for biological reasons" (Zamosky, 2009, para. 2). Furthermore, she asserted that there are three (3) stages of romantic love as far as our brain chemicals are concerned: lust, attraction, and attachment (Greenberg, 2016). In the figure, we see what hormones or chemicals are emitted and what effects there are in each stage. It, also, in a way differentiates lust from love. To be able to maintain dopamine and oxytocin, couples need to keep trying something new together-food, movie, hobby, travel, etc.- and they also have to spend time with each other and feel each other's warmth through gentle touch, holding of hands, hugging, etc. (The Chemistry of Love," 2018: Zamosky, 2009). It is reassuring to know that even scientific research or neuroscience emphasizes the importance of commitment, consistency, and effort in a relationship to be able to sustain, revive, or restore the chemistry of love. According to Maslar (2016) in her TEDx talk, the right time for a female to agree to have sex with her male partner is when he commits to the relationship which is never on the first date. Surprisingly, this backs up the claim of most of our elders' advice for a better and long lasting relationship. What is even more surprising is that this is backed up by neuroscience. Once one decides to engage in sexual intimacy, there is a sexual response pattern that will occur. This pertains to the physical and emotional responses one experiences during a sexual activity. There are several models for  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF sexual response cycles but the 2 most renownedlinear models for sexual response cycles are: 1. Masters and Johnson's and 2. Kaplan's. Models for Sexual Response (King, 2014) Masters and Johnson (1996) Kaplan (1979) 1. Excitement – arousal; penis 1. Desire erection, vagina lubrication 2. Plateau- continuation and 2. Excitement heightening of the arousal 3 3. Orgasm- peak or intense 3. Orgasm pleasure 4. Resolution body return to normal state Diversity of Sexual Orientation We will always have our own personal stand, belief, and preferences and it is just logical to expect others to have their own. Being able to respect diversity, can help in effective, ethical, relational, and professional communication. "Many teenagers who have crushes on people of the same sex never have same- sex relationships" (Cole, 2009, p. 36). Sexual orientation refers to our sexual preferences towards males, females, or both (Cole, 2009, King, 2014). Most of us already have awareness of the existence of diverse sexual behaviors due to a person's sexual preference. We may not be able to fully understand but we have to give respect. Gender identity is one's concept of being male, female, both, or neither and is "entirely determined by socialization (nurture), not biological factors (nature)" (King, 2014, p. 361). In the acronym LGBT which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, "LGB" pertains to sexual orientation" ("Lesbian, gay, 2018). Below are some types of sexual orientations: Homosexual( gay/lesbian) “sexually attracted to members of the same sex” (King, 2014,p.376) Bisexual “sexually attracted to people of both sexes” (King, 2014, p.376) Heterosexual (straight) “sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex” (King, 2014, p.376) Pansexual can be sexually attracted to any sex or gender identity Asexual not sexually attracted to any sex or gender The "T" in LGBT, which stands for transgender or gender non-conforming, pertains to gender identity. "Some who do not identify as either male or female prefer the term "genderqueer" ("Lesbian, gay," 2018, para. 2). Below are some types of gender identity ("Dimensions of Gender, 2017): CISGENDER/CIS  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF “gender identity consistent is with the sex they were assigned at birth (para 10) TRANSGENDER/TRANS "gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth" (para. 10) AGENDER "people who do not identify with any gender" (para. 12) NON-BINARY people who "do not identify strictly as a boy or a girl- they could identify as both, or neither, or as another gender entirely" (para. 12) A transgender is different from a transsexual. A transsexual is one who transitions from one sex to another through undergoing several surgical procedures. Though we may have experienced "having feelings towards or fantasies about people of the same sex, it doesn't mean you are gay or bisexual, it can be part of emerging sexual awareness" (Cole, 2009, p. 12). Sexual orientation, sexual behavior, and gender identity are independent concepts. All could be fluid or changing. We may have the freedom to choose to whom we engage sex with and with how many, but if we are not careful and discerning. we cannot and will never be able to choose or limit the number of unpleasant irreversible long term consequences it can bring to our lives, to people who matter most to us, and even to the society we are part of. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIS) Engaging in sexual contact, either vaginal, oral, or anal, can give temporary intense pleasure and, with it, a possibility of transmitting "more than 30 different bacteria, viruses and parasites" ("Sexually Transmitted," 2016, para. 2) that may result to a lifetime of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). In our country, the number of HIV and AIDS cases increase every year. In August 2017, the Philippines was said to have the highest HIV growth rate in the Asia-Pacific (Reuters. 2017). "The regions with the highest number of cases reported in July to August were the National Capual Region with 732 cases followed by Calabarzon with 344 cases, Central Lun with 17 Central Visayas with 144 cases: Western Visayas with 121 and Davao region with 176 cases (Santos, 2017). Most cases of transmission are through male to male sex and in the age range of 14 to 24 (Morales, 2017). STIs can be asymptomatic or without symptoms which makes it more difficult to address. Prevention is always better than cure. With HIV and AIDS, prevention is unquestionably better since until now there is still no cure. Family Planning/Contraception The information on family planning (FP) and contraception is for everyone, even for those who are still in their adolescent years. To be educated on FP and contraception is to be protected from STIs and unintended pregnancies. The family planning programs intend to provide accessible information on sexual and reproductive health for people to choose from depending on their needs and preferences ("Family Planning," 2018). Contraception is focused on the ways to prevent pregnancy in line with the FP program. For in-depth information and safe sexual health decisions, it is always best to consult with a medical expert. Misuse or abuse of use of artificial contraception may lead to severe health risks Our country's Department of Health (DOH) has four (4) basic principles in implementing the program which adolescents and older can relate with, either as a child or soon to be parent:  UNDERSTANDING THE SELF SEXUAL SELF 1. Responsible Parenthood which means that each family has the right and duty to determine the desired number of children they might have and when they might have them. And beyond responsible parenthood is Responsible Parenting which is the proper upbringing and education of children so that they grow up to be upright, productive and civic-minded citizens (para. 2). 2. Respect for Life. The 1987 Constitution states that the government protects the sanctity of life. Abortion is NOT an FP method (para. 3). 3. Birth Spacing refers to interval between pregnancies (which is ideally 3 years). It enables women to recover their health and improve women's potential to be more productive and to realize their personal aspirations and allow more time to care for children and spouse/husband, and; (para. 4). 4. Informed Choice that is upholding and ensuring the rights of couples to determine the number and spacing of their children according to their life's aspirations and reminding couples that planning size of their families has a direct bearing on the quality of their children's and their own lives (para. 5). To aid in family planning are a range of natural and artificial types of contraception to choose from. Abstinence, not engaging in any form of sex, a natural method, is the most effective means of contraception since time immemorial.