Metaphysics and Vampirism PDF

METAPHYSICS AND VAMpiRISM AWAKENINQ Awakening is what usually distinguishes intentional psychic vampires from those who vampirize energy unintentionally. Awakening is sim- ply a process of self-realization, where the awakened individual becomes aware of latent talents and abilities, learns about t...

METAPHYSICS AND VAMpiRISM AWAKENINQ Awakening is what usually distinguishes intentional psychic vampires from those who vampirize energy unintentionally. Awakening is sim- ply a process of self-realization, where the awakened individual becomes aware of latent talents and abilities, learns about these, and begins to consciously harness them. An awakened psychic vampire has realized what they are and has come to accept that nature. Awakened vampires typically learn to har- ness their abilities so that they may choose when and how they feed. Unawakened psychic vampires remain ignorant of what they are. However, as psychic vampirism is an inborn trait tied to a fundamen- tal need, this does not mean that unawakened vampires do not feed. Those who are ignorant of what they are still take energy uncon- sciously, and since they are not aware of this capacity, they have no control over when or from whom they feed. Unawakened psychic vampires are typically the kinds of people the self-defense literature is written about. The unawakened are drawn to people who can provide them with the most energy. Often they unconsciously create situations that will provide them with even more energy. As they are operating unconsciously on basic instinctual drives, their feeding can be aggressive and efficient, with consideration only for their own needs. Although unawakened vampires can be a nui- sance, especially for those who have been victimized by them, it is important to understand that their actions are not necessarily evil. Without conscious control of their abilities, there is no way for them to make an ethical choice concerning their needs. Awakening so that conscious control can be achieved is ideal for both psychic vampires and everyone else around them. Awakening, however, is not an easy thing. While it is often difficult for outsiders to accept the existence of psychic vampirism, it is even more difficult for vampires themselves to come to terms with their nature and accept all that this means. CHAPTER I I THE VAMpiRE COMMUNITY Widespread awareness and acceptance of psychic vampirism, even among the vampires themselves, did not occur until very recently. A number of factors were responsible for this. First, there was a huge stigma attached to psychic vampirism because of the self-defense liter- ature. For those who were even familiar with it, it depicted such a neg- ative image of psychic vampirism that it made the reality very hard to accept. Because of the stigma associated with psychic vampirism, many awakening psi-vamps resisted what they were from feelings of guilt, while others who accepted their natures tended to do so silendy for fear of the prejudices others might hold. Furthermore, there was not a widespread acceptance of many eso- teric or metaphysical issues until relatively recendy. These topics were marginalized in mainstream culture in favor of more materialist or sci- entific worldviews. As a result, many individuals wresded with the pos- sibility that psychic vampirism could even exist. There was no wide- spread understanding of vital energy, and practices like Reiki and Qi Gong were so poorly known that most people had no notion such energy was even real. In this atmosphere, some psychic vampires assumed they were sim- ply delusional. Many of these individuals turned to modem psychology H PSYCHIC VAMpiHISM for an answer to their needs. Others, self-destructive and confused, sought outlets for the hunger and alienation that they experienced through extreme and risk-taking behaviors. 9ROWIN9 AWARENESS The 1990s brought with them an unprecedented awakening among psychic vampires. This awakening was concurrent with a widespread growth of awareness in metaphysical issues throughout Western cul- ture. The Wiccan and neo-Pagan religions gained greater acceptance, and a number of publications on magick and the occult began appear- ing in mainstream bookstores. In the New Age circles, practices like Reiki and Qi Gong gained in popularity, and some of these alternative practices began to gain adherents even within the fields of traditional medicine and psychology. Some feel the explosion in metaphysical interests occurred because more people were gaining an awareness of such things on a personal level, while others believe that personal awareness increased because more information was available. Whatever the case, it spurred the growth of what was later to become a uniquely defined vampire community. Most of the awakening vampires of the 1990s did not truly com- prehend their natures. There were scattered individuals within the community who understood their psychic vampirism as a metaphysi- cal process. However, many of these assumed they were isolated and alone in their understanding. Few had the courage to come forth about what they knew, and fewer still were willing to publicly admit to their nature. There was a widespread hesitancy among the entire com- munity, and even those who suspected the metaphysical reality of their vampirism wrestled with acceptance and belief. Nevertheless, there was an almost overwhelming drive among many of the awakening psychic vampires to express some aspect of their nature and to begin exploring what they were. While vampires remained isolated from one another, this drive had to be dealt with 5 THE VAMpiBE COMMUNITY on an individual basis. However, a phenomenon of the 1990s pro- vided both a creative outlet for awakening psychic vampires and a convenient method for networking and communication. This phe- nomenon was the growth and popularity of what became known as “zines.” Zines are self-published amateur magazines focused on par- ticular subcultures. With the advent of desktop publishing and the explosion of copy shops such as Kinko’s, anyone with a little drive and creativity could design, publish, and distribute their own under- ground magazine. VAMpiRES AND THE SMALL PRESS The zines of the vampire community at first were devoted almost exclusively to art, fiction, and poetry. These subjects were safely removed from the controversial occult and metaphysical issues that most isolated psi-vamps were still not willing to openly explore. From the late 1980s to the early ’90s, Gothic titles proliferated, such as Chad Savage’s Necropolis, Mark Williams’s Onyx Magazine , and my own Shadowdance. Replete with dark and decadent themes, these artistic little magazines featured stories that were a unique blend of horror and erotica. Vampires and other supernatural creatures were a mainstay, and it was not uncommon for poems to speak in metaphoric terms about psi-vampirism and feeding. The zines provided a comfortable facade for the early community to safely explore its beliefs. Writers could address metaphysical issues through the mediums of poetry, fiction, and art without officially endorsing these ideas. Pseudonyms and “scene names” allowed indi- viduals to maintain some distance between their public lives and their vampiric pursuits, giving them freedom to express and explore their more unusual beliefs without fear of criticism or attack from “normal” friends and family members. Expressing a belief through a fictional medium also gave the zine writers the luxury of judging widespread response to that idea before committing to it as fact. i6 PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM A few publications at the time did feature nonfiction, although the focus almost invariably lay upon the vampire in literature and folklore. Rob Brautigam's Netherlands-based publication. International Vampire , was among the forerunners of such nonfiction zines, fol- lowed later by John Franc s Journal of the Dark. Although not techni- cally a published zine, Martin V. Riccardo s “Vampire Studies” is also worth mentioning. Marty was behind publications exploring the figure of the vampire as early as the 1970s, but by the 1990s he had graduated to cataloging individual reports of dreams, fantasies, and other vam- pire-inspired beliefs as part of an ongoing research project. This proj- ect ultimately culminated in the 1996 publication Liquid Dreams of Vampires by Llewellyn Press. Behind the open publication of the zines, a voluminous corre- spondence emerged. Eric S. Held's Vampire Information Exchange Newsletter, based in New York, was a formalization of much of this cor- respondence, encouraging those interested in vampires and vampirism to reach out and stay connected. In addition to such pen-friend net- works, writers who had expressed similar ideas in their published works contacted one another privately in order to initiate dialogue. Cautious at first, they tentatively began discussing their theories and experi- ences. Through this correspondence, awakening psi-vamps began to realize that they were not alone. This realization gave them courage to more openly express their beliefs, and the fiction and poetry of the zines began to give way to nonfiction articles on metaphysics and the occult. Soon zines of fiction and poetry were joined by newsletters and journals that openly discussed psychic vampirism. The Florida-based DarkRose Journal, published by Lady DarkRose, was one of the first zines that pioneered this new open format. As more such publications came to the fore, individuals became more comfortable with declaring their natures, although most still hid behind elaborate personas and scene names so that employers or family members could not discover this other aspect of their lives. *7 THE VAMpiBE COMMUNITY AN IMPERFECT BEQINNINQ Although the small press was integral to the beginning of the modem vampire community, the zines were not a perfect medium for com- munication. While the publishers and writers of these small press ven- tures tended to be intelligent, highly creative college-age adults, they also tended to be free thinkers and rampant individualists who rebelled against any notion of organization, hierarchy, or dogma. They had a natural suspicion for authority of any kind as well as a marked distaste for capitalism. The severe distrust of organization worked against the early com- munity, for it discouraged any significant cohesion or cooperation between individuals. Few trusted anyone who adopted the role of a leader, and many were so suspicious of authority figures that they did not even trust themselves in roles that verged upon leadership. There was a general sentiment that the very establishment of a structure would naturally lead to abuses of that structure. The rights and free- doms of the individual were held paramount over everything else, often to the detriment of the identity of the group. The universal distrust of capitalism virtually ensured that the zines would never support themselves, as few publishers were willing to charge rates that could support their ventures, and few subscribers were willing to pay them. Those individuals that did attempt to make any kind of money at their craft were considered “sellouts,” becoming the focus of censure and criticism. Although most of the zines featured at best a tentative exploration of the notion of psychic vampirism, organizations devoted to the occult aspect of vampirism had existed as early as 1991. The Temple of the Vampire (TOV), based out of Lacey, Washington, ran several ads throughout the 1990s in magazines such as Fate and Gnosis , pro- claiming “Vampires are real! Join us.” Yet the information that the TOV possessed on vampiric tech- niques was jealously guarded. Members were sworn to secrecy, and graduated lessons in metaphysical vampirism were sold at fees ranging i8 PSYCHIC VAMpiBISM from twenty-five to fifty dollars each. Between the secrecy, fees, and hierarchical structure, the TOV scared off many early seekers in the nascent community. Although a great many vampires at the time were desperately seeking insight into the metaphysics of their nature, unless this information was shared freely with no strings attached, few wanted anything to do with it. Fear, distrust, and obstinate independence marked the first falter- ing steps of the early vampire community. Although the primary aim of many small press writers and publishers was the establishment of an open information exchange, little widespread communication occurred because of the overwhelming atmosphere of hesitancy. Further, most vampires were isolated geographically, finding one another through pure luck even with the numerous underground vampire publications of the early 1990s. The magazines and newslet- ters almost never advertised themselves openly, often lacking the funds even for classified ads. The cost of publishing and distribution, never offset by the amount charged to subscribers, limited the number of issues any single publisher could produce. At best, a self-published zine had a distribution numbering in the hundreds. Finally, due to the many real-life factors that affect any costly and time-consuming labor of love, most zines had a lifespan of only two to three years. Although the zines served to initiate dialogue between sev- eral key figures of the nascent community, many more vampires remained confused and isolated, having never even heard of a zine. NEW MEDIUMS Of COMMUNICATION Two things helped bring the community out of the limited medium of self-published zines. First, there was the advent of a vampire-themed role-playing game known as Vampire: The Masquerade. A sit-down version of this game had been published by White Wolf in the early 1990s, but when a live-action version came out, it provided a whole new social venue for vampires and those sympathetic to the vampire. 19 THE VAMpiBE COMMUNITY In the live-action version of the game, dubbed “The Mind s Eye Theater” by its creators, players adopted their characters as personas and acted out plots and storylines in a type of improvisational theater loosely bound by gaming rules. This style of the game became wildly popular among the Gothic and vampire subcultures, reaching a peak in popularity in the midnineties. By 1995, various live-action versions of the game were being played at conventions, nightclubs, and public universities across the country. While the game itself was based upon fiction and heavily influ- enced by the novels of Anne Rice, it still attracted many isolated psy- chic vampires. The live-action version provided them with a social out- let where they could openly adopt the identity of a vampire, even if this was only within the context of a game. More helpful than being able to play at being what they already were, was the fact that vampirism became an acceptable topic of conversation among players who met socially outside of the game. While most psi-vamps rarely “came out” among the role-playing community, the live-action games nevertheless put them into contact with Pagans, Wiccans, occultists, and other open-minded twenty- somethings, many of whom were also attracted to the fantasy role-play- ing game. The social network created by live-action Vampire: The Masquerade ultimately provided a place where psi-vamps could get comfortable discussing what they were in small group settings, thus paving the way for many of the more formalized groups that would develop in the later nineties. The second vital development that changed the vampire scene was the advent of the Internet. Chat rooms, message boards, news- groups, and Web sites rapidly replaced the self-published newsletters and magazines. The cost of copying, binding, and mailing physical publications was completely eliminated by free Web hosting from sites like Angel fire, where anyone with a basic knowledge of coding could publish an online zine. The vampire community online flowered in 1997. Between June and August of that year, several sites of note went 20 PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM up, including Sanguinarius’s resource site, Sphynxcat s Real Vampires Page, and Vyrdolak s vampire pages. (Interestingly, that year also hap- pened to be the centennial anniversary of the publication of Bram Stoker s Dracula , perhaps the most influential piece of vampire litera- ture to date.) Instead of reaching audiences numbering at best in the hundreds, the new generation of electronic publications was able to reach thou- sands with just a click of the mouse. In a few short years, even the most isolated vampires out there were aware that they were not alone. There were many others just like them, and encouraged by this knowledge, they began opening up about their beliefs and their experiences. Numerous vampire “houses” were founded, and networks that served to connect these houses, such as Father Todd s Sanguinarium or Damien DaVille s Vampire Church, started formalizing a vital new community. THE SANGUINARIUM Father Sebastian Todd had gotten into the vampire underground through Goth clubs and role-playing games, but he had always sensed that there was something more just beneath the surface of the scene. Even in the growing atmosphere of openness, accurate information on the mechanics of psychic vampirism remained scarce, and so, like many, Todd stumbled along his own path for several years. As he exper- imented with many different expressions of vampirism, Todd never- theless always remained fixated on one thing: a dream of uniting all the many vampires in the community in a global “Vampyre Nation.” Todds Vampyre Nation saw realization through the Sanguinarium. The Sanguinarium was loosely fashioned after the net- work of vampires depicted in the novels of Anne Rice. Other preexist- ing communities factored into Todds inspiration for the early Sanguinarium, including the Renaissance festival he was involved in and the fetish underground of New York City. Both of these commu- nities had codes of conduct intended to protect those participating in 21 THE VANpiRE COMMUNITY the community. Drawing from aspects of these communities, Todd developed the Black Veil, a guideline of ethics for the Sanguinarium. For people familiar with the vampire role-playing games, this code was very reminiscent of the so-called “Traditions of the Masquerade” These seven laws formed the foundation of the fictional vampire soci- ety created for Vampire: The Masquerade. In order to distinguish it clearly from the “traditions” of the role-playing game, the Black Veil was revised in 2000. Changing attitudes within die vampire commu- nity inspired a second revision in late 2002. Observance of this code was a requirement for anyone that wished to be an active part of the Sanguinarium. As the Sanguinarium grew and defined itself, it pulled further and further away from its original fictitious inspirations. However, as accu- rate metaphysical information continued to be hoarded by a clandes- tine few, the network was still mainly comprised of individuals who lived the “vampire lifestyle.” These were people who acknowledged an affinity with the archetype of the vampire and who often dressed the part, yet who understood very little about the actual mechanics of energy, psi-vampirism, and feeding. This is where my work comes in. I had been aware of energy all my life and had stumbled on the notion that I was somehow vampiric in early high school. I had begun recording my experiences at that time, seeking a better understanding of my nature and my needs. I knew of no others like myself back then, and so I started delving into world mystical traditions, metaphysics, and the occult in order to find corollaries to what I innately understood. College brought me into contact with a few others who also ten- tatively considered themselves “psychic vampires.” As we cautiously connected and began exchanging experiences, it became clear to me that I had an understanding few others possessed. Moreover, this understanding was not to be found in any of the available literature on psychic vampirism. Uncertain how to react to this inborn knowledge, I opted to gather as many ideas and opinions as I could, reaching out 22 PSYCHIC VAMpiRISM and connecting with more and more members of the growing com- munity and encouraging diem to tell their tales so I could compare them with my own. I had the key to unlocking a deeper meaning to psychic vam- pirism. But first I needed to learn how that key could be applied to the community, and also how it applied to me. CHAPTER II A JOURNEY Of MEMORY Throughout the early nineties, I was constantly seeking out open- minded Pagans, Wiccans, occultists, eclectics, and of course, other psychic vampires. I was driven by an overwhelming need to collect information and compare it against what I myself had remembered and experienced. I often hosted informal open houses where up to a dozen individuals with various views and levels of experience shared ideas and often performed experiments with energy work and psi- vampirism. I was struggling at this time with belief, for what I remembered was extraordinary, and I was not sure at the time if I wanted it to be true. During these early years of involvement in the scene, I was too cau- tious to ever speak of my own beliefs except in generalities, although I frequently taught the basics of the energy work I instinctually knew. I was constantly networking with others and reaching out in order to gather as much data as I could on metaphysics, the occult, energy work, and psi-vampirism. The notes I gathered at this time would later become the document entitled “The Codex ” From 1991 to 1996, 1 edited and published the Gothic literary mag- azine Shadowdance. Beyond indulging in my love for Gothic poetry, I used this to make contact with others who shared my metaphysical 24 PSYCHIC VAMpiHISM interests. Outside of the magazine, we corresponded, and I probed them for as much information as I could get regarding their experi- ences, theories, and beliefs. Like many in the early nineties, I was very hesitant to publicly announce my beliefs, and so the magazine never spoke openly of psychic vampirism, even though vampires of a more traditional stripe were a recurrent theme in the poems and fiction fea- tured in the amateur publication. In 1995, 1 had gathered enough courage to start up an openly vam- piric newsletter, the Midnight Sun. This was the publication associ- ated with the International Society of Vampires (ISV), a side project that had grown out of the correspondence with contributors and sub- scribers to Shadowdance. The newsletter was pretty much a formaliza- tion of the letters many of us had been exchanging all along, and func- tioned veiy much like a pen-and-ink version of a modern e-list. I would often propose questions and theories with the express purpose of see- ing what others had to say on the topic. In some cases, I created a pen name in order to promote alternate views or to voice something I myself was not daring enough to express, just to see how others would react to this notion. Most of the members of the ISV were very far flung, and while 1 learned a great deal from them through our correspondence, face-to- face contact was necessary to perform adequate exercises and experi- ments in energy work. Also by that time, I knew I was looking for some very specific people. Although I had not yet met these people in this life, I was certain I would be able to find them if I started to look. To this end, I had gotten involved in the Vampire: The Masquerade scene, running live-action role-playing games (or LARPs, for short) at national conventions. During the game, I would study the players, noting who wore jewelry or other symbols typically associated with occult practices and getting a feel for these people’s energy. I learned to identify certain types of people by “feel” alone, and once the game was over, I would approach them and invite them to a closed-door discussion on beliefs, practices, and experiences. Many *5 A JOURNEY Of MEMORY were hesitant at first, which was understandable given the resistance so many of us had encountered in response to our ideas. However, once the right atmosphere of trust was established, we found we had much to share. It was through these closed-door discussions after the games that my group was bom. For years I had been seeking people, and I had finally started finding them. At first, die group did not have a name, nor did it need one. Identity was implicit: we knew who and what we were. While it was tacitly agreed that I was “in charge,” there was no formal hierarchy. Everyone came to the table with what they had learned for themselves, and knowledge and honesty established credi- bility and respect. I began hosting my own games outside of the con- vention circuit, and these naturally concluded in intense metaphysical discussions at my home. Eventually, the group began meeting at my home on a weekly basis, and the cover of the game became unneces- sary, although we still occasionally played for recreation. BUILDINQ ALLIANCES Father Todd had heard about my work while I was still publishing in the midnineties, and he had been trying to track me down for several years. By 1996, however, I had become very difficult to find. Earlier that year, I had made significant steps in outing my nature, working with authors Jeff Guinn and Andy Greiser on their study of the com- munity, Something in the Blood. Even though I styled myself as noth- ing more than a researcher, it was clear to both the authors that I had a deeper and more personal involvement in the vampire community. During the Cleveland leg of the book-signing tour, Jeff Guinn urged me to write a book revealing what I knew, but by then I had learned it was not yet time. Nineteen ninety-six was not a good year for the vampire commu- nity. In the summer of that year, freelance reporter Susan Walsh dis- appeared while working for the Village Voice on an expose of the New 26 PSYCHIC VAMpiBISM York City vampire subculture. Later that year, troubled teen Rodney Farrell’s obsession with vampires culminated in his brutal murder of a female friend’s overprotective parents. Public universities across the country were banning their live-action games, despite the fact that the vampire LARPers had no real connection to either incident. On a more personal level, issues of my magazine were mysteri- ously not arriving at their destinations. In some cases, this amounted to more than 50 percent of the total copies mailed out. One copy of the Midnight Sun took three months to arrive in a friend’s mailbox in nearby Erie, Pennsylvania. When it finally did arrive, the newsletter had been shredded, then painstakingly taped back together by an unknown individual. Strange phone calls to my home, hate mail, and other incidents contributed to an uneasy paranoia. Rumors of federal investigations involving other members of the community did nothing to assuage my growing concerns. Distinctly unnerved by the public reaction to the vampire commu- nity, I withdrew completely from the national scene not long after the feted release of Something in the Blood. I became a recluse, focusing on my writing and working exclusively with select members of my private group. A paradigm-shifting conversation with a Hindu metaphysician had inspired me to tentatively begin reexploring the community through the medium of the Web in late 1998, but it took a mix-up with the Vampyre Almanac to get me in contact with Father Todd in 1999. In 1997, 1 had done research for a Gothic arts calendar published by Cleveland-based Monolith Graphics. A year later. Father Todd had published the Vampyre Almanac. In the back of the Almanac was a calendar that contained a good deal of my work for Monolith, yet with no sources cited for the research on the calendar. Somewhat annoyed, I got Father Todd’s email address from Christine Filipak of Monolith Graphics and presented my concerns, asking that I be mentioned among the sources for the calendar. The response I received in return surprised me. Father Todd's first words to me were, “I’ve been looking all over for you, girl!” 27 A JOURNEY Of MEMORY Where I had expected a dispute over publishing rights, instead I found a new partnership. The misunderstanding over the calendar was easily cleared up, and Todd encouraged me to collaborate with him on other projects. In addition to requesting assistance on the next edition of the Vampyre Almanac , he told me of the Sanguinarium and pro- posed that I formalize my private group in order to become part of this international network. I had run across a few of the cultish vampire groups in the early nineties while I was still collecting data to compare with my own expe- riences and beliefs. An active proponent of open information exchange, I had gone so far as to contact several of them, offering to share what I knew in return for some of their own views. When I was dignified with a response at all, it was invariably pretentious, dismiss- ing any value my opinions might hold. A letter I received in 19% from a priest of the Temple of the Vampire was typical of this. The two neatly handwritten pages started off by implying how little I could actually know about real vampirism, then informed me that the only way I could learn the “true” ways was to join their temple and purchase their instructional texts. I found the letter deeply offensive, and it per- manently colored my opinion of the TOV and all similar groups. (Years later, a bootleg copy of their “Vampire Bible” showed me that our techniques for feeding were essentially the same, although our ethics differed radically. So much for the only “true” vampire religion). A few of my Internet contacts at the time sternly warned me away from Father Todd and his project, the Sanguinarium. His group was compared to vampire cults like the TOV. Given my deep-seated biases, I probably would never have cemented the partnership with Father Todd if it weren’t for these warnings: so many people had such conflicting things to say about him that I had to see for myself what he was really like. As I continued my correspondence with Father Todd, he clarified his vision for a network within the community. He sought to support this network with commercial ventures that capitalized upon the lure 28 PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM of the vampire as an archetype: His company Sabretooth sold movie- quality acrylic fangs and special-effects contact lenses as well as vam- pire-themed jewelry, such as the Sabretooth signature “Sanguinarium Ankh.” Father Todd's commercialism had brought him criticism from a number of people in the growing community, but having published Shadowdance for many years, I understood how expensive running something like the Sanguinarium could be. I was willing to forgive a little commercialism. After several months of correspondence, I decided to give Father Todd and the Sanguinarium a chance. I had reached a wall with the small press and the vampire games. I wanted access to a wider audience, and the Sanguinarium was an attractive means to this end. Those net- worked within Todd's community numbered in the thousands— two or three times the number of people I had ever been able to reach through Shadowdance , the ISV, or the vampire role-playing games. When I emailed him the news, Todd was excited to have my group onboard with his project. From the questions he started asking about us, I could tell he actually knew very little of my group and its beliefs. He had formulated his opinions of us purely from various articles of mine that still circulated through the community. But those works had been bom from the tentative, hesitant years of the nascent vampire community. The story that they told about us was partial and incom- plete. The intense interaction my group had shared in the years since my withdrawal from the greater community had taught us all a great deal about who we were and what we had to share with the community. Todd didn’t know it at the time, but the Sanguinarium had just added a very unique collection of people to its ranks. DISCOVERING A SHARED PAST From my youth onward, it was evident to me that I needed to take energy in order to maintain a certain level of physical, emotional, and spiritual health. As I delved into metaphysics and the occult, I learned 29 A JOURNEY Of MEMORY that this made me a psychic vampire. However, in addition to my vam- pirism, I could use energy to heal others as well as myself. I also had practiced certain types of meditation and dream work from early child- hood onward, and I later found that these were relatively advanced skills often associated with certain forms of shamanism and Tibetan Buddhism. Finally, from age three onward, I had spoken vividly of my past lives, and my recollection of this past always struck me as being profoundly tied to who and what I was. As I studied and explored my vampirism, I learned to recognize others who had this capacity as well. Some were ordinary psi-vamps, but others were immediately familiar to me on a much more profound and personal level. Almost invariably, they recognized me as well. When we compared our beliefs and experiences, we found that we not only had aspects of psi-vampirism in common, but we also shared other energy-related abilities, as well as the recollection of shared past lives. As more of us connected with one another, it became clear that we shared a common tie deep in the past. We remembered belonging to an ancient temple. Part of the mysteries sacred to this temple involved the style of energy work we all still instinctively recalled. There had been three sacred castes within the social structure of this temple: priests, guardians, and temple concubines (these have been updated to “counselors" to emphasize their roles as emotional guides and confi- dants in a culture with a negative perception of concubinage), and most of us still retained ties to one of these three groups on a deep and archetypal level. We had all retained the ties developed with one another in the service of this temple, and these had often drawn us together over the intervening lives. Something about our shared connection helped us find one another even when we were physically distant, bringing us into contact with one another through strings of apparent coincidence and happenstance. Each time we encountered one another, there was recognition, and this sparked memories of other lives. 30 PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM The group that ultimately grew out of this contact was our attempt not to recreate the previous temple, but to explore and celebrate the ties that connect us to this day. All the searching throughout the nineties had been bom of my struggle to accept these things about myself, then to reach out and find the others who I knew must be there. FOUNDING HOUSE KHEpERU There were several steps that had to be taken in order make my group officially a part of the Sanguinarium. Most of these were formalities of structure. Structure within my group had always been tacitly under- stood yet never formally declared. We organized ourselves loosely into the three castes, and each of these had different responsibilities but equal footing within the group. The castes were very integral to how we worked with energy and the roles we held in ritual. This was a rad- ical departure from the structure the Sanguinarium paperwork implied, and it was something unique to us at the time. We didn’t really want to surrender our unique identity just to belong to a larger group, but my instincts kept telling me that joining the Sanguinarium was a good move. I discussed my concerns with Todd. I explained how I felt that the Sanguinarium structure was a decent guideline for groups that were just beginning to form, but didn’t think an already established group like our own should be forced to change everything just to belong. Todd was understanding enough to grandfather us into the Sanguinarium without requiring us to change our structure, although he asked me to try and use the Sanguinarium terminology when writ- ing articles for Sanguinarium publications like the Vampyre Almanac. Once the hurdles of structure were overcome, all that remained was to give our group a formal name. Prior to our involvement with the Sanguinarium, we had never really bothered to name our group. We were just “Family.” Many of us remembered several incarnations of 3i A JOUBNEY Of MEMOBY our temple from the past, and the names we were known by had changed over time. Our identities and the connection we all shared had been more than enough to define our group in its early, private years. But the application for the Sanguinarium required that every group, or “House,” have a name that somehow embodied its core val- ues and beliefs. To go with its unique name, each House had to choose a symbol, usually based around an Egyptian ankh, that could be worn by its members. Furthermore, each House had a specific theme that encompassed its particular take on vampires and vampirism. Because we were tied to several different time periods, it was diffi- cult at first to choose a theme and a name for our House. We wanted something that would speak of our transformational natures, but we also wanted something that held some sense of the antiquity we all shared. A symbol was even harder, as there were many symbols from a number of different cultures that were almost appropriate, but not quite. Egyptian iconography appealed to many of us, but even this was not precisely appropriate. We did not trace our origins back to the Egypt of the pharaohs; in our memories, there was a culture that pre- dated this, and this was more properly the culture of our temple. As we were trying to research the validity of a pre-Egyptian age, I purchased a copy of Lucy Lamy’s Egyptian Mysteries. When I first paged through this slim but informative little book, there was a phrase that electrified me. Kheper-i kheper kheperu is part of the opening pas- sage of a papyrus dating to the third century CE entitled, “The Book of Knowing the Modes of Existence of Re and of Overthrowing the Serpent Apophi.” The first few lines of this papyrus are comprised almost entirely of different variations of the word kheperu, represented by the Egyptian scarab beetle and translated variously as “to change,” “to transform,” and “to come into being.” The opening statement of this papyrus speaks of coming into being through a process of personal metamorphosis and transformation. Furthermore, the papyrus directly refers to a time known as the Sep 3 2 PSYCHIC VAMpiRISM Tepy. The Sep Tepy is an ancient Egyptian concept translated as the “First Time,” or the “First Age”. It refers to a primordial age that the Egyptians believed predated their own culture. This First Age was a mythic golden age from whence the ancient Egyptians themselves claimed to have inherited their wisdom. Here was our pre-Egypt, and here was our notion of empowerment through personal transformation. Not long after reading Lamy’s book, and finding correlating phrases in chapters 17 and 85 of the Per Em Hru (more commonly known as the Egyptian Book of the Dead), it was decided. We were henceforth to be known as House Kheperu, the House of Transformation, and our symbol would be the ankh paired with the scarab. Taken as hieroglyphs, this symbol could read “Life is change ” The paperwork was submitted, and before the end of 1999, House Kheperu was an official part of the Sanguinarium. INTERNET EXPLOSION Although the Sanguinarium connected people in real time through vampire-themed publications and events, the main expression of the network was on the Internet. Most houses within the Sanguinarium hosted their own Web pages, and many also featured message boards, chat rooms, and e-lists. To become an official part of this community, Todd strongly encouraged me to design a Web page for House Kheperu. Before designing our own site, I took a look at the Web pages that already existed for houses in the Sanguinarium. These were univer- sally dark, with self-consciously Gothic themes. Most pages had black backgrounds with text that was purple or blood red. There was more graphics than substance, mainly in the form of animated ankhs, skulls, bats, and dripping blood. This was not the look we wanted for our page, as it in no way captured the spirit of our house. A little uncertain how the rest of the online community would react to us, I set about designing a radically different “vampire” page. We chose 33 A JOURNEY Of MEMORY a light papyrus-style background with accents in gold and blue, sugges- tive of lapis lazuli. The text was designed to be aesthetic and readable, and graphics were simple and few. The goal was to share our particular interpretation of vampirism and to find others who shared these views. As our views were such a radical departure from what was com- mon in the vampire community at the time, I wasn’t certain how much we could come right out and say about ourselves. At the time, there weren’t many sites that presented a spiritual interpretation of vampirism, and the few that did were mainly left-hand path offshoots of Satanism. We weren’t a typical “white light” tradition, but we also weren’t that dark. When it came right down to it, we weren’t even really “vampires” as most of these people defined themselves. Our understanding of the transformative aspects of vampirism put us in a category all by ourselves, and on top of that, there was so much more to our spiritual experience than just the need to take vital energy. APPLYING THE CODEX Instead of trying to explain our differences in a series of pedantic arti- cles, I fell back upon the Codex, the document I had been compiling since 1991. Developed as the instructional text for the members of my household, we also used the Codex as a tool to draw out individuals’ memories of our remembered tradition. All of our basic metaphysical practices were outlined in the Codex with clear and accessible descrip- tions. Further, woven throughout the text were our more profound and extraordinary beliefs. Many of these beliefs were not directly stated, but were gently implied. This was done to aid in the process of memory without over- whelming new Kheprians. A line here or a few words there would trig- ger the shared recollection of our ancient tradition, yet still allow the students to formulate full ideas on their own. It had the effect of giving brief glimpses of what we really were, but the reader had to know what they were looking at in order to put the whole picture together. 34 PSYCHIC VAMpiBISM What we hoped to accomplish by sharing this with the greater community was to subtly introduce some of these deeper concepts about ourselves without seeming to make wild and unsubstantiated claims. If someone read and understood, then they could initiate dia- logue with us and ask further questions. If they missed this other aspect of the text, then hopefully they would at least find the material on psy- chic vampirism helpful. If the majority of the community seemed open to these implied concepts, then we could think about explaining a little more. Perhaps in time we could be completely open about who we were and what we remembered ourselves to be. When 1 put the Codex up on the Web page, it was with the inten- tion of building bridges with other traditions and opening lines of com- munication. I knew we had something extraordinary to share, and I was pretty sure a lot of these ideas had never been put into words before. But what this ultimately accomplished within the greater vam- pire community came as a surprise even to me. CHAPTER IV REVISIONINQ THE VAMpiRE I have often been asked why anyone in their right mind would want to be called a vampire. The truth is, it is not something most people start off wanting to be. The majority of self-defined psychic vampires did not wake up one day and decide that they were going to identify themselves with a folkloric entity believed by most people to be damned. Typically, these individuals were vampirizing energy long before they had a term for what they were. Their abilities frightened and confused them, and they searched wherever they could for answers, and especially for a name. When anyone first embarks on the journey of self-discovery, they start by asking a few fundamental questions: W ho am I ? W hat am I? What is my place in the Universe? The answers to these questions are very crucial to the direction of a person s spiritual journey. Although the answers can and do change throughout the course of that journey, it is the name a person finds for themselves at the very beginning that determines the course that the journey first takes. THE POWER Of NAMES Names hold great power for people. Humans as a species have an over- whelming need to put labels on those things that we do not understand. 3 6 PSYCHIC VAMpiBISM Nowhere is this need more prevalent than when we are dealing with issues and qualities within our selves. Labeling ourselves and finding names that embody our most important qualities is a process psychologist Carl Jung called individu- ation. Essentially, it is the process of finding and defining our own identity, and it typically begins in adolescence. This is where young people start breaking away from their parents and establishing them- selves as individuals. Suddenly, they’re styling themselves after celebri- ties and rock stars, or declaring one day at the dinner table that they’re now vegan. This process is most marked during adolescence because of the extremes of experimentation that typically go on, but it actually continues throughout much of our lifetime. Individuation is a funda- mental part of the soul’s journey, which Jung termed the Heilsweg. Whenever we go through a period of defining ourselves, we try on various labels and archetypes to see how they fit. Because these uni- versal principles are based in generalities, the fit is never going to be perfect. Sometimes people realize this, and they tailor the archetype to make it uniquely their own. Other people change themselves to more fully embody the archetype. Typically, a little bit of both goes on, so the archetype influences the person, but the way the person embodies the archetype also helps add nuances to how it can be defined. This is precisely what has occurred in the vampire culture with the term “vampire.” AN ILL-fITTINQ SUIT Because the West has a very materialist worldview, people’s relations to energy are poorly understood. It is telling that all of our words for vital energy are imported from other cultures. Chi is Chinese. Prana is Sanskrit. Ki is Japanese. For Westerners who have a fundamental and undeniable experience of vital energy, there is neither a language nor a context for them to put this in. This places awakening psychic vampires in a very difficult position. Here they are having these pro- found and extraordinary experiences that have a significant impact on 37 REVISION I NQ THE VAMpiRE their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being and yet they have no word for this, no guideposts to show them where to even begin to for- mulate a definition. Along comes the vampire. As an undead being romanticized in fic- tion and film, the vampire really has very little in common with psy- chic vampires. Yet for those who encountered the archetype through books or movies, there was an obvious connection. The vampire feeds upon life. The need to take vital energy is typically the first and most undeniable quality awakening psychic vampires notice in themselves. Thus, even though they realized the term did not quite fit, there was enough of a resonance for these people to begin tentatively identifying themselves as vampires. Within the community, it was tacitly under- stood that someone who claimed to be a vampire was neither undead nor physically immortal, but had this underlying hunger for life energy. For those who encountered the term through the self-defense lit- erature, it was an even clearer choice. While the psychic vampires por- trayed by people like Konstantinos and Dion Fortune are somewhat distorted from the real thing, still, the descriptions of how these people interact with energy is too close to deny. In both cases, there are plenty of qualities that are not quite right, but when there is nothing else available, the discovery of even an ill-fitting suit is a great relief. LIMITING PERCEPTIONS As liberating as a label may be, it can also become a trap. Even if the person using the label understands which aspects do and do not directly apply to them, they are still telegraphing all of the connota- tions and other associative baggage that that label contains to every other person who encounters it. Furthermore, no matter how objective a person tries to be, these associations ultimately have an effect upon their own relationship with the label. It was this interaction that firmly placed the early vampire community within the darker regions of the occult underground. 3 » PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM There is no denying that there are negative connotations associ- ated with the word vampire. The vampires encountered in popular cul- ture are ravenous predators who stalk and often kill their prey. They are depicted as soulless, inherently evil beings who live the life of the damned. Even in the self-defense literature, which distinguishes between folklore and reality, a psychic vampire is still perceived as a predator and someone to be guarded against. The act of vampirism implies a taking, and a vampire is someone who preys upon others, ultimately doing them harm. Certain individuals need life energy from sources outside of them- selves. Even though this taking can be done in a positive and mutually beneficial way, our culture has no other word for it but vampirism. Once this process was labeled vampirism, any of its more positive and transformational qualities were almost immediately erased from per- ception. And since the self-defense literature was the most widespread authority on what psychic vampires were supposed to be, the negative perception was reinforced even for the vampires themselves. In finding a label and a “box” to put themselves in, the majority of psychic vam- pires became psychologically boxed in, unable to perceive themselves outside of the predatory vampire paradigm, even when they felt this paradigm chafe against what they really were. OUTSIDE Of THE BOX When the Codex was first made available online, it created a revolu- tion of sorts within the vampire community. Not only did the Codex present clear descriptions of energy techniques, it also presented ethi- cal choices psychic vampires could make in how they exercised their abilities. More important than even that, it was perhaps the first docu- ment to express the notion that psychic vampirism was not by nature a negative and harmful activity but instead was part of a natural cycle that ultimately benefited all involved. The Codex challenged psychic vampires everywhere to look beyond the basic definition of feeding 39 REVISION I NQ THE VAMpiRE and to ask deeper questions such as, what purpose do psychic vampires serve in the ultimate scheme of things? And, why do some people need to take energy while others seem to need to give? As the Codex became more widely read, the face of the commu- nity started to change. More and more vampire houses began to have positive, spiritual overtones. They were no longer trapped in trying to emulate an imperfect archetype, but instead were freed to explore the transformative and vital aspects of what they were. The ubergoth pre- tensions that had typified many of the earlier Sanguinarium sites became passe, and fewer groups dwelt upon the melodramatic image of the vampire as a predatory outcast. There were certainly plenty of groups and individuals who clung to the old ways, but these were now generally considered gauche, mis- directed, or confused. Terms like “poseur” and “lifestyler” gained wide- spread use to distinguish those who played at being vampires from those who understood the deeper truths of what they were. Several attempts were even made to get away from the word “vam- pire” entirely. In 2002, Canadian-based House Quinotaur, an interna- tional organization that includes a version of the Codex among the texts its recommends to members, moved from the word “vampire” to the term “Quinotauri” to describe its members. For the Quinotauri, this seems to have worked so far, although most other attempts at coin- ing an alternative for the word “vampire” have not had widespread appeal throughout the community. Due to the limits of the English language, there is simply no other recognizably appropriate word. INITIATORS Of CHANGE House Kheperu set a precedent in the community that was widely emulated by many houses, orders, and courts. The Kheprian structure, particularly the use of castes, was widely adopted, although not always properly applied. Under the names Ramkht, Mradu, and Kitra, the Kheprian castes became a fundamental aspect of the core of the 4° PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM Sanguinarium, and in the new Order of the Strigoi Vii, the ultimate evolution of Todd s personal House Sahjaza, the castes play an integral role in both structure and ritual. Throughout Sanguinarium and non-Sanguinarium groups alike, the Codex became the definitive text on psychic vampirism, and many other occult groups used it for its clear presentation of fundamental metaphysical techniques. A number of groups linked to it or repro- duced it in whole on their own sites. In the fall of 2000, a limited edi- tion was published by the Sanguinarium Press, and soon after, partial translations were appearing in everything from Spanish to Japanese. Some of the more traditional members of the vampire community objected to the publication of the Codex, as it revealed information they felt was best kept secret or reserved for an elite few. Some even tried to restrict access to the Codex, forbidding their initiates and lower-ranking members to learn from the text. But the material was out and accessible to anyone who knew where to look, breaking the silence that had left so many confused. ACCENTS Of BALANCE The basic premise of the Codex is that all beings participate in a uni- versal cycle, and a psychic vampire s relation to energy is an integral part of this participation. This cycle is founded upon a dynamic bal- ance of opposites. This balance is a complicated dance of polarities: male and female, destruction and creation, darkness and light. Each aspect is necessary to the healthy functioning of the whole, and thus even darkness, death, and destruction are vital and desirable experi- ences within the proper context. Psychic vampirism fits naturally within the context of this cyclic balance. There are many people who naturally produce more energy than they require to sustain themselves. Many of these are called to be healers, and there is an aura about them that just seems to reach out to others and give and give. For every person who has a natural abun- 4 1 nevisioNiNg the vampire dance of energy to give away, there is another person who has a natu- ral need to take that energy in, and so the energy of the Universe remains in a constant and vital flow. Taking energy away can be as helpful and healing as giving energy to another person. Too often energy becomes blocked or stagnant, and this blocked energy must be removed from a person’s system to main- tain a healthy flow. Furthermore, when energy is removed from a per- son, their system naturally responds by generating more energy to replace it. This new energy is fresher and more vital than that which was removed, and typically the individual feels cleansed, refreshed, and renewed. This positive interpretation of vampirism revolutionized the com- munity, freeing many individuals from a negative self-image that had held them back from exploring all that they were. It was no longer an unbearable curse to be a psychic vampire; it was a transformational journey to be celebrated and enjoyed. Through the Codex, many peo- ple have learned that even things that seem dark on the surface have a vital and important universal role. When this darkness is your nature, there is no reason to repress it or to feel automatically condemned. The challenge is simply to use these potentially harmful abilities respectfully and responsibly, and in this way facilitate balance, growth, and flow. CHAPTER V THE CODEX UNVEILED The version of the Codex in this book is a vastly expanded new edition. It has never before seen publication. The previous versions of the Codex were roughly half the size of this document, and those were only released to the limited audience of the vampire community. Most of the topics comprehensively discussed in this text have only been touched upon in the previous versions, and as far as we are aware, there is no book currently on the market that covers these subjects with as much honesty or detail. Those who are intimidated by the existence of psychic vampires may feel that spreading information on how to perform these tech- niques is potentially dangerous. Certainly the knowledge provided within this book could be abused. However, the potential abuses are outweighed by the fact that educating psychic vampires about feeding empowers them to make ethical choices about how and when to feed. Additionally, the information contained in the Codex opens them up to the realization that they are much more than beings that “feed.” Psychic vampirism is a misleading term for a very vital and dynamic gift. Within the greater vampire community, 1 have often encountered what I call the “I feed, therefore 1 am” mentality. In this line of thinking. 44 PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM a person realizes his or her connection to energy but never takes things any further than this. Such individuals develop their skills to the point of minimal personal maintenance, never questioning why they have this need or how these skills can be applied in other ways. It is a very self-focused approach, but because this process is so poorly under- stood, it is an attitude that is sadly widespread. As we of House Kheperu are not just psychic vampires, we know there is much, much more to this process than taking energy from oth- ers. Inherent in this very process is a deep and vital truth about the nature of the Universe, about give and take, and about destruction and renewal. Conscious and active participation in this revitalizing univer- sal dance should not be taken for granted. It is in every respect a won- derful gift. We are aware of energy at a profound level. We are able to touch others beyond the flesh to the very essence of their souls. And we are able to take away what has grown stagnant or blocked, utilize this for ourselves, and through removing, renew. This is not vampirism in the sense of taking and giving nothing back in return. This is a vital and transformative exchange that enriches both participants through an intense alchemy of soul. A SPIRITUAL REVOLUTION The self-defense literature exists because there has always been a lack of education among metaphysicians and vampires alike. This lack of education has occurred because the information has long been hoarded, suppressed, and misunderstood. In publishing the Codex to a wider audience, we are breaking a long-held code of silence. However, we of House Kheperu feel it is time to share these ideas. There was a time when the notion of psychic vampirism was impossi- ble to accept because few people even believed in the existence of vital energy. Now we are moving into a time where this process can not only be accepted but also understood as something far beyond its superfi- cial definition of taking energy. THE CODEX UNVEILED In the past ten years, healing traditions such as Reiki and Qi Gong have become so widespread that even the illustrious Cleveland Clinic is experimenting with energy healing and integrating it into their more traditional therapies. The practice of meditation has become com- monplace. Community recreation centers offer courses in energy work, yoga, and psychic techniques alongside swimming and basket- weaving lessons. While there is still a vocal and active conservative element work- ing against the promotion of these New Age ideas, it has become increasingly apparent that these conservatives are fighting a losing bat- tle. On the whole, our culture has discovered that there is more to the world than material existence, and there is an increasing push to bal- ance materialism with spirituality. Many people now have discovered their abilities to send energy out into the universe. What remains to be appreciated is the necessary counterbalance to this generative capacity, the process that helps to break down energy and clear a path for change. That is the wisdom that we Kheprians carry, and we feel it is a skill that lies at the heart of the psychic vampire phenomenon. It is a secret that we experience everyday, and it is a secret that, as a House, we seek to share. NOTES ON THE TEXT Although this version of the Codex is intended to be shared with a wider audience than any version published privately before, it is still written as an instructional text for Kheprians. Throughout the text, I employ the pronouns “us” and “we” to refer collectively to Kheprians. Readers should not assume that they are included in this collective. This does not mean that non-Kheprians cannot benefit from the infor- mation contained in this document. Nor does it mean that non- Kheprians cannot learn and apply the techniques discussed herein. However, it does mean that reading this text will not automatically make you a Kheprian. Neither will learning how to feed necessarily 4 6 PSYCHIC VAMpIRISM make you a psychic vampire of any sort— true psychic vampirism is inborn. These Kheprian-specific passages are included to give you a peek inside a previously secret tradition, and also to reach out to those of our scattered Family who still have yet to remember themselves. Whenever I address the general readership, especially when explaining exercises and techniques, I use the pronoun “you.” This is intended to make a distinction between ideas and issues that are Kheprian-specific and those that can be applied to anybody. In the original Codex, this general “you” technically addressed a Kheprian student, but the purpose of this edition is to share many of our teach- ings with a wider audience. A general “you” is appropriate, as nearly all of the techniques covered within this document can be learned not just by psychic vampires but by anyone with an interest in energy. Thus, whenever possible in these universal sections, Kheprian-specific statements have either been qualified or removed. ORGANIZATION As you look through the text, you will find that the Codex is sepa- rated into numbered divisions, each about a page to two pages in length, with a heading that suggests the general content. Each divi- sion covers its topic as thoroughly as possible. The language through- out is direct and concise. This is intended to make it easier to study the material within the Codex. Each new idea is presented clearly and completely within a space of text that can be read easily from beginning to end. Accessibility is one of the major strengths of the Codex. Too many metaphysical texts make use of complicated occult terminology when explaining techniques, assuming that the reader has a significant back- ground in metaphysical practices. Other texts adopt a self-consciously mysterious tone. While the authors of such texts typically employ such language in an attempt to give their work a greater sense of legitimacy, they ultimately succeed only in making an already obscure topic more obscure. 47 THE CODEX UNVEILED We Kheprians understand that metaphysical techniques do not need to be described in pretentious terms in order to be valid and use- ful. The simpler the language, the easier it will be for others to leam. When occult and metaphysical techniques were highly guarded secrets, such verbal legerdemain was acceptable. However, this is not the era of secrecy. The purpose of the Codex is to share our ideas, revealing things that others have kept secret. Clarity is favored over artifice, and highly esoteric concepts are presented in hands-on lan- guage most laypeople can understand. The divisions themselves are collected into four main sections, not including a short introduction that features material from some of our prayers. Overall, the four sections of the Codex progress from simple to complex. It is recommended that the first reading of the Codex be taken in order from start to finish. The level of difficulty increases from section to section, and so, especially toward the end, it is very easy to get confused by skipping ahead. Each division typically builds upon the one previous to it, so it is essential to follow the progression of thoughts in the order they appear in the text. CONTENT The first section of the Codex deals with awakening and recognition. This is the most Kheprian-specific section of the Codex, as it describes qualities, characteristics, and values definitive of Kheprians. Although the section is addressed to Kheprians, please note that the qualities and abilities described in this section are not necessarily exclusive to Kheprians. We have found that many of the traits described in this sec- tion can be applied to a wide variety of psi-vamps. Our Priest caste, especially, is the most traditionally vampiric within the Family. Thus, most typical psi-vamps will find they share a number of traits in com- mon with Kheprian Priests. The second section of the Codex details feeding and energy exchange. This section is applicable to almost any form of psychic vampirism, although there is still some Kheprian-specific material 4 8 PSYCHIC VAMpIRISM present here. Probably the most notably Kheprian information here deals with the energetic interaction of the castes. As something that involves an individuals fundamental energetic structure, caste is inherently a Kheprian thing. However, over the years we have learned that the castes can be used as spiritual archetypes by others. Several vampire houses, such as House Scarlet Moon, have successfully applied the caste archetypes to their own work in ritual and energy exchange. As others have found this information both interesting and useful, we have retained it here. The third section moves into general energy work, addressing basic to intermediate material. This is perhaps the most widely acces- sible portion of the Codex. Almost all of the material contained in this portion details useful techniques that can be learned by vampires and nonvampires alike. The fourth and final section details advanced techniques. While many of these are founded upon complex methods of energy perception and manipulation, the techniques are still such that anyone can learn them given enough practice and dedication. 1 have placed the material on feeding and psychic vampirism in the second position, giving it priority over basic energy work such as grounding and centering. This may not immediately make sense to readers for whom this material is foreign and difficult to comprehend. However, for those with vampiric qualities, these abilities are inborn, and it is through their experience with feeding that most psychic vam- pires learn to work with energy in other capacities. As this has been my audience for over a decade, and as 1 still have a strong desire to reach this audience in order to educate them in both ethics and techniques, I felt the feeding material had to appear immediately after the intro- ductory Kheprian information. As for the fourth section, there was some debate as to whether this material should even be included in this edition of the Codex. Several of my members very nearly convinced me to leave it out. The material is admittedly complex, but I personally feel that a great number of peo- ple will be able to benefit from it. 1 have attempted to detail the 49 THE CODEX UNVEILED advanced theories and techniques as clearly and simply as possible, but this level of energy work does get into some very complicated and sub- jective territory. The perception and methodology of most of these techniques can vary widely, depending on who is performing them, and while I have tried to be as all-encompassing with my descriptions as possible, these divisions will inevitably be influenced, and in some respects limited, by my own perspective. Keep this in mind when read- ing this final portion of the text. REQARDINCj CASTES One of the most controversial beliefs presented in the Codex is the concept of the castes. Please keep in mind that the caste system is a fundamentally Kheprian phenomenon. For us, caste is something we experience on a basic, energetic level, and it influences our perception and interaction with energy as well as our preferred archetypes of iden- tity. We include the material on castes in this edition of the Codex in order to better communicate who and what we are. However, the caste system cannot and will not apply to everyone. Especially within the vampire community, this system has frequently been misused and mis- understood. Since the underground publication of the Codex, many other vampire groups have adopted the use of castes. Those that use castes in energy work and ritual, like the aforementioned House Scarlet Moon, have grasped the real meaning behind the castes. Those that have adopted the castes as a hierarchical social structure have missed the point. Despite the connotations of the word, our castes are in no way intended to represent a social or spiritual hierarchy. It is true that the castes are derived from an ancient social structure pivotal to our remembered history, but that society has long turned to dust. The strengths, weaknesses, and innate abilities that we developed over many lifetimes because of the caste we were back then are what remains, and these qualities are what make it necessary to mention the castes at all. The castes can be used in a limited fashion as spiritual 5 ° PSYCHIC VAMPIRISM archetypes by non-Kheprians, but the unique energetic, physical, and emotional signatures defined by each caste can be found among Kheprians alone. FINAL COMMENTS Finally, let me state that the Codex is a living document. It is intended to change and grow as we change and grow. This is not the first version of this document, and it is by no means the last. For now, it is the most complete version, but I expect it to expand over the years. Life is a jour- ney of constant discovery, and 1 approach energy work as I would any scientific discipline. Everything is treated as a working theory, and when new data presents itself, the old information is revised. My group and I are constantly learning and experimenting, remembering forgot- ten material, or seeing old memories in a new light. Thus nothing within this book is set in stone. This book is not gospel, nor is it intended to be. The opening will read a little like scripture. That is because it is the equivalent of scrip- ture for our House, but it is our scripture alone. Read it as if it were a window into the beliefs of House Kheperu, and do not feel compelled to take our truths for your own. We share this with you, the reader, in its entirety, not to convert you to our ways, but in the hope that it can ultimately help you to better understand your own path. Read. Enjoy. And always, seek your own truth. PART TWO 3HE C03EX NTRODUCTION KHEpRIAN MYSTERIES i. The Kheprian Charge We are the many-bom. We are the Immortal. Eternal, we wander the eons, moving to the rhythm of our own inner tides. We are active elements moving through passive worlds. Endlessly we die and are reborn, changed yet unchanging through the years. We move from lifetime to lifetime, taking up bod- ies as garments. Ours is a journey toward understanding, and our charge is knowl- edge and wisdom. We are the catalysts, and as we Awaken to ourselves, we serve to Awaken the very world. 2. Origin We have been known by many names throughout the ages, but few have understood the truth of our existence. We are Watchers and we are wanderers. We are shapers of spirit and soul. We came here, and we forgot ourselves. Yet we were haunted with a sense that we had been something more. 54 THE CODEX The limits of the flesh chafed upon us, and our spirits yearned to be free. We would not bow before the cycle of forgetting between rebirths. We would not accept the limitations of the flesh. We had once known power and we would reclaim it as our own. Setem-Ansi was the first to make the transition. He cut away the umbilical that nourished but tied his spirit down. In the First Age, he Became, and from his transformation, all transformations followed. Each were altered in their turn, Priest, Counselor, Warrior. We claimed for ourselves a Temple, and the Family was bom. Half spirit and half flesh, we are beings who walk both worlds at once. We direct the course of our incarnations. We are conscious and aware in the Between. We carry our skills and memories throughout lifetimes. And our Will shapes both spirit and flesh. 3. Family We have been many things to one another over the years: brothers, lovers, friends, and bitterest enemies. Yet throughout it all, we have remained tied together, soul to soul, in this our ancient Family. Our people are drawn from many places, and our spirits are diverse. Yet the Family unites us, and this diversity becomes our strength. Our Family is one that is three. Priest, Warrior, Counselor: we are Kheprians all. Each is an integral part of the Family, acting and being acted upon by the rest. We function ideally as a Triumvirate, an embodiment of the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. These mysteries unite us, and while each may act separately, we are only complete when we act as a whole. The bonds that we share defy easy definition. From lifetime to life- time, we are drawn together, and we always recognize our own. Recognition brings Awakening and Awakening brings recollection of Self. As we remember, we Become. Thus we reclaim all that we once were. SECTION I AWAKENINQ AND RECOGNITION 4. Awakening We are neither wholly bom nor wholly made what we are. The choice for us to Become was made millennia ago. From that time onward, we have been reborn again and again, carrying in every lifetime the seed of what we are. Sometimes we forget ourselves, and we wander our lifetimes like sleepwalkers, only half aware. Yet even when sleeping, we are bom with the potential to Awaken. Awakening is a process of expanded awareness and the acceptance of what that awareness brings. Awakening opens us up to the totality of the soul so we may look beyond the boundaries of one little life. Awakening allows us to become aware of our spiritual talents, and it brings these talents under conscious control. Awakening is a long process, occurring in stages throughout our lives. The progression of Awakening often depends on the flexibility of the mind— what can be accepted and understood at that time and how far the psyche is willing to bend in order to accommodate new defini- tions of Self and reality. Awakening most often occurs with the onset of puberty for it is at this time that one begins to question the things they have been taught 5 5 6 THE CODEX about the world. The mask that is the little self learned in this lifetime begins to slip away so that the Higher Self may be seen. Some may be bom Awakened, although this is very rare. The stress of being a young child yet simultaneously remembering something more is too much for most psyches to bear. Also, few parents are under- standing enough to encourage an Awakened child. The Awakened is instead pressured to deny their perceptions and conform with the unaware. Those who are bom Awakened typically slip into a self- induced forgetting, simply to survive their childhood. Those who can- not escape their awareness can be driven mad. Awakening is stressful for anyone, but for Family it can be espe- cially traumatic. Our nature can be a burden, for we are equal parts darkness and light, and we each have secrets that are hard to accept. We cannot look upon the Truth all at once or we may be blinded. Sometimes, we may turn our faces away from what we have seen and put out our own eyes, rather than accept it. But for beings such as us, such a denial of Self is the real death. 5. Remembrance Our memories move into consciousness during Awakening. However, they have always been with us, carried throughout our childhood. The memories surface in unexpected ways, especially when we are not con- scious of them. In the stories that we were drawn to and in the stories that we've told ourselves, there will be images of our previous lives reflected as in a distant mirror. A persona we were drawn to or a character that we have often played may be a shadow of a previous life that echoes in us still. Innate preferences and innate interests are often influenced by our memories. Times and places for which we possess a strong fascination are often tied to portions of our past. Many of us possess latent knowledges and skills, and these are also 57 AWAKENING AND RECOGNITION carried over from the past. When there is a subject we have never stud- ied in this life yet we leam quickly and with ease, seeming to know most of the answers already, this learning is truly a remembering. Quirks and fears, manners of dress, and habits of speech that hold no discemable source within this life are often holdovers from previ- ous lives. People we have just met who seem hauntingly familiar to us are souls we have built connections with in the past. Some of these are Family, but there are many others we have lived with, hated, or loved. Our chosen professions, our favorite hobbies, and our preferred styles of life: these are often strongly influenced by who we have been, for although we are agents of change, we are also beings of habit, and we tend to return to what is familiar to us, again and again. The past is everywhere within us, and who we are now is a sum of all that we have been. Conscious recollection is not necessary to draw upon these things, although it facilitates integration and a true com- prehension of our path. 6. Other Awakened We are not the only beings that undergo a process of Awakening and who may recollect past lives. There are the spiritually cultivated, sages and mystics, who have devoted previous lives to gaining spiritual awareness. These may Awaken in this lifetime as well. There are the psychically gifted, whose latent talents of spirit and mind require that they accept a greater real- ity. As their abilities manifest, these also undergo an Awakening. Additionally, there are the Othersouled, those that have come to this place from another. As they realize what they are, these undergo an Awakening, remembering and harnessing their Other nature. Like ourselves, the other Awakened can perceive and manipulate the many layers of reality. They call themselves by many names and they follow many diverse paths. Most tend to draw upon positive, 5 » THE CODEX generative forces, and in this they may misunderstand our connection to darker things. This is one thing we have to teach them: reality is a never-ending drama of Balance, and we each have our roles to play. Though we are darkness and they are light, we are all working toward the same goal. Each in our way brings Awakening to the world, and we serve as catalysts to everything around us. You will be attracted to the Awakened, much as you are drawn to our own kind. There will be a feel about them, and their energy will stand out to you. Much of your awareness may be unconscious at first, so you will have to learn to recognize the cues. Whenever you feel a strong pull toward someone, trust that your greater Self is guiding you. Reach out and speak with them, for there is always much we can share. 7. Potentials Those among our own kind who verge upon Awakening are termed Potentials. They are those who carry the truth of what they are latent within them. At times in their childhood and their youth, this power may have come to the surface, only to be ignored or denied due to a restrictive upbringing or other negative circumstances. A Potential of our kind, though unawakened, still has power. We are blessed and cursed in the fact that our very natures require us to interact with the subtle reality. We cannot shut it away from us for it is a part of our very souls. Thus, even when slumbering, we affect energy and we feed. It is important to understand this about a Potential of our kind: Although they do not understand what it is they are doing, their ignorance by no means prevents them from accomplishing the feat. When we come upon one who is undergoing their Awakening, it is our duty to guide and instruct them. If for some reason we cannot help them, then we should make an effort to steer them toward some- one who may. We should facilitate their Awakening, but this should be done gently, with care toward the boundaries of their psyches. We should take care when facilitating Awakenings. Not all are 59 AWAKCNINg AND RECOGNITION intended to Awaken in this lifetime. Some Potentials are not strong enough mentally or emotionally. If forced to Awaken, these individu- als will be unstable, and they can be dangerous to themselves and to others. Such Potentials are best left to slumber so they can come to maturity in their own time. Finally, do not mistake every Awakened for a Potential of our kind. There are many paths to follow and many ways of being. Ours is only one. In all cases, remember that we function as catalysts. When we come into contact with someone who verges on Awakening, we may help to open the door. What lies on the other side is theirs and theirs alone. 8. Unconscious Feeding Whether we are Awakened to our natures or not, we process energy and we feed. This is a deep aspect of what we are, written into the very fiber of our energy bodies. While Potentials have not harnessed their natures enough to thor- oughly exercise their gifts, they still unconsciously do what they need to survive. Thus the unawakened feed, although they rarely have any knowledge of what it is they are doing. Many Potentials unconsciously put themselves into situations where they can take energy. If asked about this, they will understand only that they are drawn to such situations and that such situations just “feel right” for them. Potentials are often drawn to the performing arts, for when we are the center of attention for a large group of people, we may feed upon the energies of those people as they focus on us. Every actor knows that the audience gives energy to the people on the stage, and the emo- tional level of the material heightens this energetic interplay. Potentials of our kind can harness this cycle and use it to sustain them- selves with little effort. 6o THE CODEX Other Potentials will be drawn to situations where they can engage in intense or deeply emotional conversations with people. Again, this places the Potential at the center of attention. These conversations can be debates or arguments— so long as strong emotions are involved, the energy is easy to acquire. Some Potentials will naturally take the role of confidant for this reason. Everyone they know will go to them and bare their souls, cry- ing on their shoulders and discussing their most painful issues. Potentials like this will just have a knack for gaining people’s trust and for drawing these painful secrets out of them. These Potentials will rarely understand the real reason that they enjoy this role of personal confessor, but they will know that it is a role they are “meant for.” They may also genuinely care about these people and seek to unburden them of their problems, but they are still feeding upon all the tears and heartache poured out to them. Many Potentials are driven also by a need for touch. Physical con- tact is a powerful focus, and the more intimate the contact, the more energy is exchanged. For this reason, many Potentials can be promis- cuous, taking energy from an endless string of sexual partners. Some Potentials can sate this need through more casual contact, and these excel at the art of massage, literally draining away other people’s stress. Finally there are those Potentials who find for less functional ways to become the focal points of attention and strong emotion. These indi- viduals become drama queens, engaging in histrionics and manipulat- ing people and situations to place themselves at the center of their social stage. Even the negative attention that this nets them is still atten- tion, and it can be fed upon. Potentials who go this route often give us a very bad name, for they are ill behaved and very needy. They capital- ize upon their instabilities, and because even the negative attention ful- fills them, they rarely make an effort to better themselves and change. One of the best arguments for Awakening and instructing Potentials is the simple fact that is it impossible to make an ethical decision about a behavior one is barely conscious of engaging in. Left unaware of what 6i AWAKENING AND RECOGNITION they are and what this drives them to do, Potentials can bring grief upon themselves by inadvertently abusing those around them. Additionally, those Potentials whose hungers drive them to use others can reflect badly upon all of us, for not everyone will understand that they are not willfully bringing about harm. With help and guidance, Potentials may begin to recognize what they do, and as they gain mastery of their skills, eventually they can choose when and how to fulfill their needs. 9. The Beacon We are drawn to Potentials by the Beacon. The Beacon speaks to our subtle sense of a person, and it allows us to recognize our own kind. It speaks to us on a very deep level, and for this reason we often react unconsciously to it without even realizing why. On its most basic level, the Beacon manifests as an attraction to an individual. We are drawn to the person with a Beacon. It makes them stand out from all others in a crowded room. We may feel an over- whelming urge to feed from this person, or to simply be near them and to touch them. The Beacon may manifest as a sexual attraction as well, and for this reason we should learn to recognize it, for its pull can be overwhelming at times. Those with Potential who are unawakened to what they are often have the strongest Beacons, although the Beacon is present among nearly all of our kind. The purpose of the Beacon in unawakened Potentials is to draw us near to them so that we may engage them in an energy exchange. This energy exchange inspires Awakening. For many, the Beacon creates attraction and inspires need. There is often a drive to feed from a Potential, and this is especially common to the Priest caste. This drive should be recognized as an instinctual urge to Awaken the Potential. Feeding from a Potential will almost invariably inspire an Awakening, however this Awakening can be severe and trau- matic. Other methods of Awakening should be considered before a 6z THE CODEX Potential is simply fed upon. Even casual contact initiates a limited energy exchange, and such a Proximity Awakening carries less risk. If we leam to recognize these instinctual reactions, we can refine our awareness of others so we may consciously pick the Beacon out in those around us. By learning to consciously recognize the Beacon, we may also choose when and how we Awaken a Potential, and we may choose to resist the sometimes overwhelming urge to engage in an exchange of energy with them. Simply because someone has a Beacon does not mean that it is appropriate for them to Awaken. We must let our judgment rule us in this matter, and we must sometimes resist the instinctual pull of this subde sense. Not all of those with Potential are fit for Awakening, and if we act rashly, we may unwittingly bring the other person into a life they are not equipped to live. 10. Proximity Awakenings It is not always necessary or advisable to actively Awaken someone. In many cases, a passive Awakening is much easier for mentor and Potential alike. Simple proximity to one of our kind will prompt Awakening over time. While a more active method involves feeding and energy exchange, the sudden Awakening inspired by this method can be harsh and traumatic. Proximity Awakenings hold less danger of psychological trauma than any rite that involves feeding. Sometimes opening a dialogue with the initiate is all that is required, and you will know by the questions being asked where the initiate is along his or her personal path. Proximity Awakenings involve being close with the Potential as a mentor and friend. By their proximity to us, the Potential is exposed to our energy and the myriad minor abilities we harness everyday. In a Proximity Awakening, the Potential learns by example, questioning assumptions about themselves and their reality based upon what they 63 AWAKENING AND RECOGNITION perceive in us. Through this method, the Potential progresses at their own pace, never pushing too for beyond the psychological boundaries of what they can accept. Proximity Awakenings are strengthened by our numbers. Thus, if there is a large group of us working together, those Potentials who become involved in that group will make their transition with great rapidity. The more Awakened who work together in that group, the easier all future Awakenings will be for all those who come into con- tact with that group. The simple presence of a large Awakened group can cause a sub- tle influence on their geographical area such that individuals who have never even come into direct contact with members of the group may begin to Awaken. Furthermore, the collective energy' of the group serves as a focal point, drawing Awakened and those verging upon Awakening into the area. As the group heightens and refines the energy in its area through ritual and other work, the subtle and physi- cal realities are drawn closer together, thus further facilitating Awakening within the area of effect. By being true to ourselves and doing what it is in our natures to do, we create a ripple effect in the world around us. Spontaneous Proximity Awakenings are but one result of such ripples. n. Dedicants Dedicants are those individuals who have chosen to actively pursue what you have Awakened in them. Understand that they are Dedicated not to you, but to themselves and to the pursuit of their individual path. You are but a guide and mentor, and while they will certainly share a special relationship with you, it is a relationship that will teach you as much as it teaches them. It is a sacred responsibility to instruct those you Awaken, and one that should not be undertaken lightly. You must guide them through the stages of Awakening, answering their questions and easing their concerns 6 4 THE CODEX as they pass from one level of awareness to the next. You must never aban- don those you have Awakened, even if you have unintentionally inspired awareness in them. Be aware that even by associating with one who verges on Awakening, your proximity may bring them across. You must teach them discretion so they do not draw negative atten- tion to themselves. They must understand that their actions can impact our entire Family so that if they make a spectacle of them- selves, they could bring shame to us all. You must teach them responsibility, for you have awakened in them a great power. They must follow their natures but should never abuse what this enables them to do. Teach them respect also— respect for the vital force that sustains them and respect above all for those who provide this energy. Those whom we feed upon give us a great gift, and even if they are unaware of this giving, we should never fail to appreciate what we receive. Those whom you awaken and give guidance to will be as your children. They will share a very deep bond with you. You will know their very hearts and souls. The mysteries of who they have been will be unveiled to you. No distance will separate your awareness of them. The link goes both ways, and they can feel you and know your thoughts when they so choose. You may use the link to exchange energy with them at a distance, and they may also reach out to you. In this way, you may both share your strengths in times of great need. Never fail to cherish this bond, for it is one of the greatest strengths of our Family. And if you are irresponsible enough to abuse this con- nection, be forewarned that the great love your children hold for you can turn into a hatred that is just as far-reaching and deep. 12. Sympathetic Vampires Not all who feed are of our number. Over the eons, countless of our brethren have been scattered and lost, but there also are those who take vitality as a learned skill. 65 AWAKENING AND RECOGNITION Do not be fooled by learned vampires. Many make a mockery of our need by engaging in feeding for pleasure or sport. Some will learn how to feed on vitality for the power it gives them, and some will learn in order to pass for our kind. Yet they do not understand that this is but one part of all that we are. It is our most obvious trait, but we are not defined by taking energy alone. Among our kind, there is always recognition. Even if we do not consciously perceive the Beacon, we will be drawn to one another. We will settle into companionship with the ease of old friends. When this knowing of another is not present, always be wary. Trust your instincts and proceed with care. Not all who emulate feeding do so intentionally. Sympathetic vampirism can arise in others as well. Typically a sympathetic vampire is a long-term feeding partner whose energy has been diminished past a point of natural recovery. In order to replenish themselves, con- sciously or unconsciously, they feed. Given time, if they are separated physically and/or emotionally from the individual vampirizing them, such a person will recover. In some cases, however, the afflicted person does not wish to return to their normal nonvampiric state. It is not uncommon for those who have been over fed upon to become fixated on the vampiric process. If the person understands even a little of what has happened to him, he can maintain this quasi-vampiric state indefinitely. Such a one is on a par with learned vampires, for he will then proceed to pass himself off as one of our number and accept that he is nothing else. 13. Recognition It is easy for us to recognize our own kind. The Beacon is present in those who have Awakened as well as those who still slumber. Also, there is a familiarity to us, especially around the eyes. If you encounter one of your own kind, it will seem as if you could look into that person s eyes and see their past. Upon making introductions with this person. 66 THE CODEX there will probably be an instant bond between you, like picking up a relationship between old friends. Beyond the Beacon there are many ways to recognize our kind. We may be known by our distinct auras: deep purples or blues sur- rounded by a nimbus of gray or black. The outer layer often has a mistlike appearance and will stretch into tendrils that extend far beyond our physical form. To those who can perceive that level of reality, we often appear to be a nexus of such tendrils. The tendrils tend to be varying shades of gray, often with a smooth, ropelike appearance. They are not perceptibly present in everyone: They can be filaments so fine even the most experienced seer will have difficulty perceiving them. We are often noted for our pallor, but more often it is the inten- sity of our eyes that gives us away. It is very common for our eyes to change color, and this is especially influenced by our mood. Our eyes also are very complex in color. Our irises have many different shades, and they are often surrounded by a striking ring of darker color. We tend to be attractive and well built, and if our features are not beautiful in a classical sense, we nevertheless possess a certain oth- erworldly quality that gives us a distinctive charisma. For many, this takes the form of a powerful and intimidating presence that wraps around us like a shroud. We frighten and we fascinate at the same time. Certain body types and facial features tend to recur among us as well. Those of the Priest caste tend to be tall and thin, with an androgynous quality about them. Warriors are stoutly built with a powerful presence. Their energy is masculine, regardless of the bod- ies that they wear. Counselors are often lithe and sensuous. Their energy is feminine, in spite of physical gender. There are exceptions, of course, to these rules, but more often than not we are drawn toward recreating the bodies we have worn over many, many lives. 67 AWAKENING AND RECOGNITION 14. Other Qualities We have a natural sensitivity to energy of all types, and in some this manifests as a hypersensitivity to extremes or fluctuations in energy. Our Priest caste is the most sensitive, reacting to sunlight, extremes in temperature, and electromagnetic energies. Many of us prefer homes that are cool and dark, well protected from shifting energies. Our bodies, in all castes and all cases, are very responsive to shifts in our energy. If our subtle and physical bodies are in balance, then we are strong and rarely fell ill. If our balance of energy fluctuates, how- ever, then we succumb easily to sickness and disease. Spiritual, men- tal, and physical health are tied together for all beings, but our sensi- tivity to this balance is particularly extreme. Body temperature is also influenced by our energy state. This trait is especially marked among the Priest caste. If our energy is low, our temperature drops and our hands especially become remarkably cold. This is an unnatural cold that saps away heat and lingers past the touch. When our energy is heightened or active, our hands are hot, and our entire bodies can radiate heat. Many of us have acute senses and can hear in the more than human range. Some of this is physical hearing, while a portion is lim- ited clairaudience, for our subtle senses extend far beyond our physi- cal selves. We tend also to be skilled at empathy and telepathy, and these qualities are inborn. Even the most frail among us are stronger and quicker than we look, for the body is merely a vessel for a much more powerful Will. We tend to carry remembered skills from lifetime to lifetime, and for this, many consider us gifted. We have an innately predatory nature, and we are marked by a strong sense of elitism. We have difficulty integrating into modem society, for our values linger from times long ago. These qualities can be balanced and controlled, yet they remain a darkness that we carry within. 68 THE CODEX Many of us have a sadistic streak, and we are easily addicted to the energies generated by power, fear, and control. These, too, are a part of our darkness, and if they are not balanced with more positive traits, such qualities can bring destruction to everything we love. Even the unawakened have a sense of us. They often stare, then look away. They find it hard to me