Intimate Relationships: Attachment & Love Lecture Notes PDF

SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS The importance of relationships Humans have a need to belong, a near universal desire for social ties (Baumeister & Leary, 1995) Relationships are important for our physical and psychological well-being We can fulfill our relational needs in many ways...

SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS The importance of relationships Humans have a need to belong, a near universal desire for social ties (Baumeister & Leary, 1995) Relationships are important for our physical and psychological well-being We can fulfill our relational needs in many ways Love A set of cognitions, emotions, and behaviors observed in an intimate relationship.  Passionate: “all-consuming psychological and physiological state” that decreases in intensity over time – Cognitively: Preoccupied with thoughts of your partner Subtypes “Rose-tinted glasses” (failure to recognize/acknowledge red of love: flags/flaws) – Emotionally: Passionate Intense sexual attraction Ecstasy in person; extreme sadness when apart – Physically: Increased Heart rate, sweating, “butterflies”, blushing = all signs of physiological arousal Subtypes of love: Companionate Ability to recognize partner’s imperfections; appreciating their full character; desire to overcome imperfections and make the relationship work Usually, passionate love will either dissolve (breakup) or turn into companionate love within 6 to 30 months. STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY STERNBERG’ S TRIANGULAR THEORY THE THREE COMPONENTS OF LOVE COMBINE TO PRODUCE EIGHT DIFFERENT LOVE TYPES  LEE’S STYLES OF LOVE Commitment In Triangular Theory, commitment is a subtype of love; however, most modern- day scientists agree that it is its own construct. Investment Model: – Commitment: One’s intention to “persist” in a relationship over time INVESTMENT MODEL Commitment in same- and different-sex relationships Some research has found that those in same-sex relationships tend to break up more frequently than those in different-sex relationships – Why might this be? ANOTHER OPTION: ATTACHME NT STYLE  A CONTINUU M OF ANXIETY AND AVOIDANCE Try it out… https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/ECR.php Attachment across the lifespan Initial expectancies developed with caregivers – (Internal working models) Generalized to peers Influence on romantic relationships Commitment Concerns Heterosexual men: Paternal uncertainty: Desire Worried that partners to avoid spending resources will become physically involved on a child that is not their with someone else. own. Heterosexual women/gay men: Worried that partners Concerns about resources, will become should partner leave them. emotionally involved with someone else.  Everyone QUIZ 3 getting at least one point back REVIEW N=126 Average: 83.35% Mark's assigned gender at birth was female. He identifies as a man. Which of the following statements could be correct, based only on this given information? Select all that apply. Mark’s Mark was Mark is a Mark is biological sex born transgender cisgender: is female: intersex: woman: 3.97% 94.4% 34.13% 17.46% Assigned gender vs. biological sex Question noted assigned gender, not biological sex – so it’s possible that Mark was born intersex and assigned female gender at birth. Doctors and parents often report feeling confused about how to raise children with partial AIS. A gender is usually “assigned” to the child and in some cases, the child’s genitals may be surgically altered to remove any perceived “ambiguity.” – Lehmiller, 104. Traditionally, when a child was born with genitals that were not clearly male or female, the doctors and parents would “pick” a gender and perform genital altering surgery to make the child’s body a match for their assigned sex (Bomalaski, 2005). This is problematic because many intersex individuals switch away from their assigned gender identity later in life and are upset to learn that their genitals were irreversibly altered without their consent. – Lehmiller, 104 Notes on Language (Lecture 9, slide 5) Language should be affirming and accurate regardless of what you personally believe about gender – trans-woman (but say Woman & SHE) To refer to a person assigned male at birth Who lives and/or identifies as a woman – trans-man (and man & HE) To refer to a person assigned female at birth Who lives and/or identifies as a man – These uses conform with the NYC human rights law to say otherwise could be a form of harassment NYC human rights law specifically covers gender identity and expression and protects all people, e.g., cisgender men cannot be discriminated against for being too “feminine” – If you are uncertain about pronoun use, simply ask nicely. Reminders Lehmiller Chapter 8 for next class Quiz 4 due at 11:59pm 10/24! Exam 2 next Tuesday