College Essay Essentials PDF

 Testimonials “Ethan Sawyer is an essay guru. His approach to essay work is insightful, inspirational, and fun. He helps students find their own unique voices and knows what colleges are looking for. Ethan is my...

 Testimonials “Ethan Sawyer is an essay guru. His approach to essay work is insightful, inspirational, and fun. He helps students find their own unique voices and knows what colleges are looking for. Ethan is my number one choice for essay help.” —­Dr. Steven R. Antonoff, former dean of admission and financial aid, University of Denver, author of College Match and College Finder “Ethan teaches us the shape, the shift, the heft of the weapons, and the soft caresses that make words worth reading and remembering. His cinematic approach, his warm but literate and smart tone will help any student learn the beauty of shaping words into essays that work and play. This is one book applicants to college will want to read.” —­Parke Muth, consultant and former assistant dean of admission, University of Virginia “A must-­have book for students and counselors! Sawyer’s detailed steps make writing awesome college essays a breeze!” —­Jennifer Kresock, independent counselor “Ethan’s College Essay Essentials is the most concise and easy to follow ‘how-to’ guide out there… I cannot recommend Ethan and his approach more.” —­Rebekah Elmore, Peak College Consulting “With the gentle wisdom of a trusted shepherd, Ethan Sawyer brings the art of self-­reflection and the craft of storytelling together brilliantly—­ and students respond with inspired, deep narratives worthy of respect by today’s most discerning admissions officers. I can’t imagine tackling an essay without it.” —­Jann Russell, College Fly CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 1 5/3/16 10:11 AM  “My advice to you if you are applying to college—­get writing and get this book. Ethan will help guide them every step of the way until they have finished their college essays—­ALL of them!” —­Kelly Bates-­Siegel, independent counselor “I’ve attended a lot of college essay classes, and read even more books on the subject, but nobody breaks it down quite so simply, yet elegantly, as Ethan. His essays and story examples are excellent and really highlight what college admissions departments are looking for. I highly recommend his new book!” —­Gina Ney, college and career advisor “Yours was the best workshop I’ve attended in thirty years in the profession.” —­college counselor, on WACAC 2015 workshop session “If it weren’t for your help and support, I don’t think I would’ve gotten too ‘personal’ on my personal statement… Working with you was extremely helpful and rewarding… Thank you for loving what you do. Your love is now reflecting through us as we continue our journey.” —­Adriana S., student “By day two, [my daughter] was looking forward to going [to Ethan’s class] and was so excited to see how her essay would develop by day’s end. At the end of the three days, Dana’s reaction was a sense of relief and excitement because she was completely done with her essay, she had crossed off a major task from her ‘college to-­do list,’ and she was so very happy with how her essay turned out.” —­Erin C., parent CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 2 5/3/16 10:11 AM  College Essay ESSENTIALS A Step-­by-­Step Guide to Writing a Successful College Admissions Essay E t h a n S aw ye r College Essay Guy™ CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 3 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Copyright © 2016 by Ethan Sawyer Cover and internal design © 2016 by Sourcebooks, Inc. Cover design by The Book Designers Cover images/illustrations © Clu/iStock Photo Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—­ except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—­without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the pub- lisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent profes- sional person should be sought.—­From a Declaration of Principles Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations All sample student essays are copyright to the contributors. All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks, Inc., is not asso- ciated with any product or vendor in this book. Published by Sourcebooks, Inc. P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567–­4410 (630) 961-­3900 Fax: (630) 961-­2168 www.sourcebooks.com Library of Congress Cataloging-­in-­Publication data is on file with the publisher. Printed and bound in the United States of America. VP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 4 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Contents WHY THIS BOOK ix Questions You Might Have and Where You Can Find the Answers xi WHY I’M THE PERFECT PERSON TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE ESSAY-­WRITING PROCESS xii HOW THIS BOOK WORKS xvi CHAPTER ONE 1 Brainstorming 1 ÞÞ Essence Objects Exercise 1 What’s Your Story? 6 ÞÞ Core Values Exercise 8 How the Essence Objects and Core Values Exercises Can Help You Write Your Essay (and Your Life) 10 CHAPTER TWO 13 Structure 13 Narrative vs. Montage Structure 13 Narrative vs. Montage Structure Takeaways 17 CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 5 5/3/16 10:11 AM  CHAPTER THREE 20 The Four Types of College Essays 20 Type A: “With Debate” 22 Type B: “Endodontics” 24 Type C: “Raising Anthony” 26 Type D: “Scrapbook” 28 What Makes These Essays Great: A Brief Structural Analysis 30 CHAPTER FOUR 39 A Step-­by-­Step Guide to Writing Each of the Four College Essay Types 39 How to Write Essay Type A 40 How to Write Essay Type B 59 How to Write Essay Type C 71 How to Write Essay Type D 89 CHAPTER FIVE 102 How to Revise Your Essay in Five Steps 102 Revising the First Draft 102 Revising Drafts 2–­50 106 CHAPTER SIX 107 How to Bring Your Essay to Life 107 How Do I Grab the Reader’s Attention? 107 How Do I Show the Reader I’m Really Smart? 112 How Do I Brag without Seeming Like I’m Bragging? 119 How Do I Make My Essay, Like, Deep? 121 ÞÞ Feelings and Needs Exercise 127 How Do I End My Essay? 137 What Do I Do if I Feel Like I’m Falling Behind? 140 CHAPTER SEVEN 142 Advanced Techniques 142 Advanced Technique 1: Setup and Payoff 142 CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 6 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Advanced Technique 2: Verisimilitude 147 Advanced Technique 3: Turn Something Dark into Something Beautiful 149 Advanced Technique 4: Blow the Reader’s Mind by Using The Sixth Sense Ending (a.k.a. Create an Ending That’s Surprising, but Inevitable) 150 Advanced Technique 5: Make It New 160 What Makes an Essay Amazing 172 CHAPTER EIGHT 183 How to Make Sure Your Essay Is Doing Its Job 183 ÞÞ The Great College Essay Test 186 How to Bring More Values, Vulnerability, and Insight into Your Essay 187 When to Scrap What You Have and Start Over 201 How to Write Your Essay in Just One Night 202 How and When to Ask for Feedback 204 CHAPTER NINE 207 A Few of My Favorite Essays 207 Analysis of a Few of My Favorite Essays 213 CHAPTER TEN 221 Finally 221 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 222 1,000+ Ways to Get Inspired Right Now 222 How to Work with a Partner 223 Accountability Agreement 224 21 Details Exercise 225 Everything I Want Colleges to Know about Me List 226 Time Line of My Life Exercise 228 List of Real Student Essays Included in This Book 231 Acknowledgments 233 Index 234 About the Author 238 CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 7 5/3/16 10:11 AM CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 8 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Why This Book IMAGINE YOU’RE A SEVENTEEN-­ Y EAR-­ O LD HIGH school senior given the task of writing a 650-­word personal statement for your college application. You’re perplexed. Do you tell the story of your life or a story from your life? Do you choose a single moment? If so, which one? You feel your options are endless. After an hour mulling over the possibilities, you’re now more than perplexed—­you’re stressed. You start to wonder about what “they” (the admissions officers) want, even though you can neither predict nor have any control over their thoughts. So you start to panic. What if they don’t like what I write? What if I say the wrong thing? Is there a wrong thing? Then you remember you have just 650 words. That’s one page of single-­spaced Times New Roman to express the entire depth and complexity of who you are. You want to throw up. Then you do. * * * CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 9 5/3/16 10:11 AM  x COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS This is the position many students find themselves in each year when it comes to writing the college application essay, an essay that—­given the current landscape of college admissions—­is arguably the most important 650 words a contemporary human will write. But what if I told you, the seventeen-­year-­old high school senior, that your options aren’t as endless as you might think? In fact, what if I told you that you only had four choices—­just four potential paths you could take to write your essay? And that, furthermore, you could choose a path by answering two simple questions. Would that make things easier? * * * Tell me if this sounds like you: a. You’re worried about your essay because you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, or you don’t have a sob story. b. You do have a sob story, but you’re worried it’s too dramatic or that the reader will judge you for it. c. You feel like you have too many options for stuff to write about, and you don’t know how to pick. d. You have a couple ideas, but you’re not sure how to structure them. e. You’ve written a draft, but you’re not sure if it’s any good. f. You have some combination of all these, depending on the hour. Here’s the thing: no other college essay book out there helps you solve all these issues in an in-­depth, step-­by-­step way. But this book does. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 10 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Why This Book xi QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE AND WHERE YOU CAN FIND THE ANSWERS How do I figure out what to write about? page 1 How do I structure my essay? page 13 Is there a step-­by-­step process for writing the essay? page 39 Are any topics off-­limits? page 75 How much sharing is too much? page 77 How do I revise my essay? page 102 How do I make my essay not boring? page 107 What are some different ways I can start my essay? page 107 How do I show the reader I’m really smart? page 112 How do I brag in a way that doesn’t sound like I’m bragging? page 119 How do I make my essay, like, deep? page 121 How do I end my essay? page 137 How do I know whether my essay is good or not? page 183 I’m in a jam: How do I write my essay in one night? page 202 Should I share my essay? With how many people? When? page 204 That’s right. This book answers all these questions. And you don’t even have to read the whole book. You can jump around. In a few minutes, you’ll already be writing your essay. But first, let me tell you why I’m the perfect person to guide you through this process. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 11 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Why I’m the Perfect Person to Guide You through the Essay-­ Writing Process THIS MAY SOUND WEIRD, BUT being the College Essay Guy is my dream job. Why? Not because, as a kid, I thought to myself, “I really want to be the College Essay Guy when I grow up.” In fact, I first studied to become a screenwriter (BS in speech, Northwestern), then an actor (MFA, UC–Irvine), and then a counselor (Interchange Counseling Institute). And when I considered all the things that I loved to do and that I’d trained for—­writing, speaking, counseling—­I realized that I’d uniquely equipped myself to become the College Essay Guy. So I created this really cool job for myself. How? To paraphrase Joseph Campbell, I followed my bliss. I kept doing what I loved until I found myself in this place. But things really clicked for me when I realized how being the College Essay Guy actually brought together some of my core values, and I think sharing those with you here might help you understand why I’m the only person who could have written this book. Here are some of my core values: Practicality. I can’t stand general writing advice that suggests, CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 12 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Why I’m the Perfect Person to Guide You through the Essay-­W riting Process xiii “Use your authentic voice!” or “Write what you know!” Why? Because I have no idea what these things mean, and because they do not tell me how to do these things. I prefer advice that actually gets me from point A to point B. Efficiency. I love getting things done and I especially love finding ways to streamline my productivity. (It’s something I’m actually kind of obsessed with, and my wife likes to joke that in one day I can get done what it usually takes three people combined to finish.) It’s why the word “essentials” is in the title of this book. Vulnerability. I grew up as a missionary kid, moving twenty times before I graduated high school. Even though I often found myself meeting new people, I began to dislike small talk (either because I knew I’d be leaving soon anyway or because, well, small talk sucks), which is why when you meet me, I’ll proba- bly ask you some deeply personal question within the first five minutes. I’m interested in your deepest story. And I believe vulnerability is a more efficient way of finding that story. So here’s something that feels vulnerable for me to admit: the number one thing I look for when I meet people is their ability to listen and be present. If I sense someone is unwilling to at least try to listen and be present, I tend to distance myself emotionally for fear of being hurt. This feels vulnerable to admit because I think it makes me sound super judgmental. But I’m about to ask you to get vulner- able, so I figured I’d go first. Patterns and connections. I loved watching movies as a kid, and those stories helped me make sense of my world. When I started teaching story structure to my college essay students, I loved how it helped them make sense of their worlds. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 13 5/3/16 10:11 AM  xiv COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS But it wasn’t until I was introduced to narrative therapy that I really began to understand how powerful personal statement writing could be. Through narrative therapy, I discovered how I could reframe events of my past and, in effect, rewrite my identity. It was like learning a super- power. And guess what? You have this superpower, too. It’s one you’ll be upgrading as you read this book. Insight. In college, one of my theater professors wrote the word “Illuminate!” at the bottom of a performance analysis I’d turned in. He was challenging me to answer “So what?” in a compelling way. I took his note to heart, and it’s become something I strive for both in my work and in my life. It’s something I challenge you to do, too. Inspiration. I thrive on helping others realize their own brilliance, and I have worked to weave inspiration into every chapter of this book. In fact, if I had to sum up the goal of this book into one phrase, it would be this: I want to inspire you. And that feels extra vulnerable to share with you. Which brings me to… You. I believe in the person you are and in the person you are becoming. And that’s what I believe your personal statement is—­a record of your becoming. So here’s what you’ll find in these pages: an efficient, practical process that will help you access your deepest story, recognize new patterns and connections, and generate insights that express how bril- liant you are. Because you are. But there’s one more thing I haven’t told you yet. This process could change your life. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 14 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Why I’m the Perfect Person to Guide You through the Essay-­W riting Process xv That’s right. The personal statement writing process can be empowering, therapeutic, and even life-­altering. Why? To paraphrase Joseph Campbell: [A] good life is one hero journey after another. Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure, you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulfillment or the fiasco. There’s always the possibility of a fiasco. But there’s also the possibility of bliss. Writing your personal statement is a hero’s journey. There are dangers. And there is the possibility that you might fail. But there’s also the possibility that, if you stick with it, something amazing might happen. Do you dare? If so, continue to the next page. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 15 5/3/16 10:11 AM  How This Book Works FIRST, YOU’LL SPEND ABOUT TWENTY minutes brainstorming. Next, you’ll spend ten minutes learning story structure and ten more minutes reading some sample essays and analysis. Then I’ll ask you two questions that point to four essay paths and you’ll get to decide if you’d like to: a. choose a path and start writing your essay, or b. read about all four paths before choosing. Then you’ll write a draft of your essay. Once your draft is done, I’ll show you how to revise your essay, bring it to life, make it “like, deep,” and then I’ll introduce a few advanced essay-­writing techniques. Then you’ll write a second draft (or third, or ninth) and come back to take The Great College Essay Test. After that, I’ll give you a few more step-­by-­step exercises to help you make sure your essay is doing what you want it to be doing, and finally you’ll be ready for feedback (but do read my feedback tips first). CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 16 5/3/16 10:11 AM  How This Book Works xvii Quick note: Even if you’ve already written a draft, I recommend reading the first four chapters anyway. It won’t take long—­I’ve designed the first part of the book so you can read it and write a draft in a day. Sound good? Let’s do this. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 17 5/3/16 10:11 AM CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 18 5/3/16 10:11 AM  CHAPTER ONE Brainstorming BEFORE WE DISCUSS HOW TO write the essay (structure), we need to know what we’re writing about (content). I’ve used many brainstorming exercises over the years, but the following two are my favorites. They generate lots of ideas, and they get my heart pounding while I write. ESSENCE OBJECTS EXERCISE For this, you’ll need a quiet place (or headphones) and about fifteen minutes. Ready? Here we go: I want you to imagine a box. In this box is a set of objects. Imagine that each one of these is an “essence object” for you. What do I mean? Each object represents one of your fundamental qualities. So each object is more than just an object. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 1 5/3/16 10:11 AM  2 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS Example 1: My green pen. Why a green pen? I always carry a green pen because, like my mentor Cliff Faulkner, I grade nearly all my students’ essays in green. Why green? Because red carries so many negative connotations—­bad, wrong, warning—­and when a student gets an essay back and it’s covered in red marks, it can tend to look bloody, like a battlefield. But if a student gets an essay back that’s covered in green, it looks verdant. Also, red means “stop” (like a stoplight), but green says “keep going.” And that’s the essence I want to communicate to my students: keep going. So my green pen is more than just a green pen. Example 2: A well-­worn North Carolina Tar Heels basketball. Why? I came home from the hospital wearing Carolina Blue, so I’ve been a Carolina fan, literally, since birth. I’ve spent more time on a basketball court than almost anywhere else (which is why the ball is well worn), and basketball represents my connection with my dad: when I was a kid, we’d watch Carolina games and play basketball for hours. In fact, basketball was one important way my dad showed he loved me. So this basketball is more than just a basketball. Example 3: The blue Bible my grandma gave me when I was seven. This represents my having been raised in the Presbyterian Church. It represents Wednesday night potluck dinners, summer camp adventures, and trips with my youth group. So this Bible is more than just a Bible. You get the idea. I want you to make a list of twenty essence objects. (Don’t complain—­you’re infinitely complex and creative and could come up with a thousand—­I’m asking for only twenty.) Note: No need to write what the objects mean to you as I’ve just done if you don’t want to. You can just do this: green Precise V5 extra-fine rolling-ball pen worn-­down North Carolina basketball CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 2 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Brainstorming 3 blue Bible with my name stitched on it in gold lettering BBQ sauce annotated copy of The Brothers Karamazov friendship bracelet black-­and-­white composition notebook Amélie DVD Evanston Hockey T-­shirt If it helps, put on some music. Let your mind wander. Begin now. MY ESSENCE OBJECTS Use your imagination. (If you get stuck, you’ll find questions on the next page to inspire you.) CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 3 5/3/16 10:11 AM  4 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS THE BIG LIST OF BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS rr What’s a food that reminds rr Something you stole? you of your grandmother? rr Something you found? rr What’s an object that reminds rr Something that makes you you of home? feel safe? rr An object that represents rr What do you wish you were your father? better at being or doing? rr Or, if you don’t have a rr The worst thing that ever relationship with your father, happened to you? what object reminds you of rr The last time you cried so that absence in your life? hard that your breath caught rr What about your mother? in that halting way that it rr What’s something that makes does when little kids cry? you feel safe? What mattered to you so rr What’s something you lost? much that it brought forth rr Something you forgot? your deepest sobs? rr What—­or who—­makes you rr What’s a challenge you faced? laugh? rr When you think about that rr Best book ever? challenge, what brought you rr What would your desert through—­what resources did island movie be—­the one you develop to overcome you’d watch again and again? that difficulty? rr What piece of art consistently rr What would the logo on blows your mind? your imaginary business card rr What object represents be? something you regret—­ rr What image would you have something you wish you’d carved into your tombstone? done differently? rr An object that represents: a rr What’s a secret you have? smell you love, a smell you (Don’t worry, this stays here.) hate, a taste you love, a taste rr What’s something about you you hate, the sweetest sound that no one else knows? in the world? CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 4 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Brainstorming 5 rr What’s the coolest thing rr The cover image on your first about science? self-­titled album? rr Something that reminds you rr An object representing a of being a kid? near-­death experience? rr Something that represents a rr When did you feel most dream you have? alive? rr What object represents rr What does a perfect Saturday your best friend? Your night look like to you? grandmother? rr A perfect Sunday afternoon? rr When did you know? (Yes, rr Best game ever—­real or that’s the whole question.) made up? rr What object represents a rr Your favorite metaphor for quality you have that you life? love but that people don’t rr When were you so often recognize? embarrassed you wanted to rr What object represents disappear? the best advice you ever rr What’s a recurring dream you received? have? rr What’s the best money you rr Your worst (actual) ever spent? nightmare? rr What’s your favorite word? rr When were you most afraid? rr Something you’ll never get rr If you had a clone, what rid of? would you have the clone do? rr A bad habit? rr When’s a time you were rr A perfect moment? speechless? rr A time you laughed so hard rr The moment you left you cried? childhood behind? rr A time you cried so hard you rr A quotation you love? laughed? rr Your favorite photo? rr An image you’ll never forget? rr A word that you love from rr What would they put in the another language? museum of your life? rr The biggest decision you’ve ever made? CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 5 5/3/16 10:11 AM  6 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS Now survey your list and ask: Which essences or qualities are missing? What else could I include? Write down two to three more essence objects. (Google “100 Brave and Interesting Questions” for more.) WHAT’S YOUR STORY? FINDING THE RIGHT CLAY Think of essay writing as sculpting. You’re working to sculpt an essay that reflects something true about who you are. The purpose of the Essence Objects Exercise is to help you find the right clay. How can you be absolutely sure you’re sculpting with the right clay? You can’t. Writing is an art, after all, not a science. But here’s a tip: Tell your deepest story. I was part of a story circle once in which we were asked to tell our deepest story. How can you tell when you’ve found yours? You’ll feel it in your gut. It’ll feel vulnerable (more on this on page 189). If you read it aloud and the writing sounds superficial or like it could have been written by any number of people, it’s probably not your deepest story. So: What’s your deepest story? Before moving on, spend three minutes jotting down answers to these questions: What’s the toughest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 6 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Brainstorming 7 What was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to overcome? What’s your actual superpower? When did you learn you had it? How’d you develop it? I wouldn’t be who I am today without _____________________ ______________________. If you have a specific career/major in mind, answer: Why am I a [writer/doctor/teacher]? Do any of these answers connect to any of your essence objects? CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 7 5/3/16 10:11 AM  8 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS CORE VALUES EXERCISE Here’s my other favorite brainstorming exercise, and it’ll help you figure out the second half of your essay in about five minutes. To begin, pick your Top Ten values from the following list. What do I value? rr community rr intuition rr nutrition rr inspiration rr trust rr competence rr serenity rr social justice rr risk rr physical challenge rr intellect rr balance rr responsibility rr self-­reliance rr self-­discipline rr competition rr financial gain rr courage rr career rr laughter rr family rr practicality rr faith rr empathy rr working with rr involvement rr working alone others rr adventure rr fun rr freedom rr vulnerability rr humility rr security rr adaptability rr efficiency rr strength rr restraint rr intensity rr self-­control rr healthy rr health and fitness rr hunger boundaries rr meaningful work rr personal rr friendship rr my country development rr excellence rr music rr respect rr meaning rr truth rr mindfulness rr power rr resourcefulness rr culture rr privacy rr awareness rr bravery rr self-­expression rr art rr communication rr stability rr autonomy rr change and rr diversity rr wit variety rr love rr patience rr compassion rr control rr listening rr nature rr surprise rr commitment CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 8 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Brainstorming 9 rr leadership rr travel rr growth rr helping others rr logic rr mystery rr meditation rr curiosity rr order rr practicality rr spirituality rr innovation rr creativity rr directness rr accountability rr excitement rr honesty rr democracy rr collaboration rr independence rr religion rr social change rr multiplicity rr experience rr beauty rr supervising others rr  rr passion rr cooperation rr  rr integrity rr affection rr  rr ecological awareness rr wisdom rr  rr quality relationships rr knowledge rr  Now pick your Top Five. rr  rr  rr  rr  rr  Once you have those, pick your Top Three. rr  rr  rr  And then, yes, pick your Number One value. Remember that you’re not losing any of the others, you’re just picking the most important value for you today. rr  CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 9 5/3/16 10:11 AM  10 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS Don’t read ahead until you’ve done this. Really. Finally, if you know what career you’d like to pursue—­engineering, for example—­put the first letter of that career (“E”) beside five values of a great engineer. Maybe you write an “E” next to collaboration, autonomy, innovation, and helping others, and for a fifth value, you write “working with my hands” in one of the blanks at the end of the list. Once that’s done, set these aside. I’ll tell you what to do with them in a little bit. HOW THE ESSENCE OBJECTS AND CORE VALUES EXERCISES CAN HELP YOU WRITE YOUR ESSAY (AND YOUR LIFE) That’s right. You’re not just writing your essay. You’re writing your life. I’ll explain in a second. First, let’s talk about: How These Exercises Can Help You Write Your Essay T. S. Eliot once wrote: “The only way of expressing emotion in the form of art is by finding an ‘objective correlative.’” What’s an objective correlative? It’s an object to which you corre- late emotions, memories, and complex meanings. It’s an object that’s more than an object. Every object in your essence object box is an objective correlative for some important, complex part of you. Think of each one as a hyperlink to your soul. Click on any one of those essence objects and there’s a story behind it. At this point we don’t know how many will end up in your story—­one, fifteen, or none—­but the essences they represent most certainly will be the college essay you submit. I love the Core Values Exercise for a few reasons: CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 10 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Brainstorming 11 1. If we sat down and I asked you why your top value is your top value, I’d probably learn something pretty great about you. 2. I believe your values can serve as a magic glue for your essay, helping to connect your past with your present and future (more on this in a bit). 3. It can also help generate material for my favorite prompt: Describe the world you come from and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Why is this my favorite prompt? Because I believe that if a student answers this question—­and answers it well—­then this essay can work for most personal statement prompts and even some scholarship essays. Working on this particular question can also lead to a lot of personal growth. And how could you apply the material from the Essence Objects and Core Values exercises to this prompt? Like this: Your essence objects = your world Your core values = your dreams and aspirations I’ll explain this in more detail in chapter four, but your essence objects will help you generate content for the first half of your essay (your past) and your core values will help you map out the second half (your present and your future). How the Core Values Exercise Can Help You Write Your Life Let me emphasize something: the process of writing your personal statement is more than just reporting on the facts of your life—­you’re actually assigning them meaning in the larger context of your life. As one of my students told me recently as she was finishing her essays, “I feel like this process has helped me realize the importance of every- thing I’ve experienced.” CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 11 5/3/16 10:11 AM  12 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS And check it out: this process can help you understand not only your past, but also your future. Here’s how: Some people think of their career as the end goal, their answer to the question, “What are your dreams and aspirations?” But I believe that thinking is flawed. Why? I believe your career (doctor, lawyer, sports trainer, and so on) isn’t actually your end goal. Instead, I think your career is the means by which you will experience and express your values. In other words: Your values are your dreams and aspirations. An example from my life: my goal in life is not to be the College Essay Guy, but to help people connect more deeply with themselves, realize that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and tell the stories of their lives in ways that can be useful and empowering. The College Essay Guy just happens to be my current platform, the way I’m manifesting these values in the world right now. That’s why it’s so important to begin identifying your core values. Understanding your core values can give you some criteria for judg- ing what your priorities are and what it might take for you to find happiness—­both in work and in life. So if you skipped the Core Values Exercise on page 8, go back and do it! The question to consider when writing your essay is: Should you focus on a single overarching value or a wide variety of your core values? Should you focus on a single essence object or several? That depends on which structure you choose. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 12 5/3/16 10:11 AM  CHAPTER TWO Structure NARRATIVE VS. MONTAGE STRUCTURE A Quick Screenwriting Lesson Ever seen a movie that didn’t make sense at all? Probably not, as those films tend to not get made. But have you ever tried telling a friend about a movie you watched and wondered why it didn’t sound right? Chances are it had something to do with the structure of your retelling. What’s structure? Simply put, it’s how you organize and emphasize all the story moments or events (i.e., all the stuff you want to say) in your essay. And I believe there are just two ways. Why just two? Because I believe you must choose whether you want to organize your story: a. using cause and effect (where one moment leads to the next), in which case you’ll use narrative structure, or b. thematically (where all the moments relate under a common idea), in which case you’ll use montage structure. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 13 5/3/16 10:11 AM  14 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS Are there other structures? Perhaps, but I believe every story that connects events must connect them in a way that is either causal or not causal, so any other structure would be a variation on either nar- rative or montage structure. Can you combine narrative and montage structures? Yes, but now we’re getting ahead of ourselves—­let’s first learn how each one works. Narrative Structure Let’s unpack the structure that most American films use. Learning this may change the way you watch films (it did for me). It’s a structure as old as time, one that storytellers have been using for centuries. Joseph Campbell, an American writer and mythologist, called it the monomyth, or Hero’s Journey. I’ll refer to it as narrative structure. Its basic elements are: 1. Status quo 2. Inciting incident/Status quo change 3. Raise the stakes 4. Turning point/Moment of truth 5. Denouement/The final act 6. Outcome/New status quo STATUS QUO The main character in the story (hint: in your essay, that’s you) is living his or her normal life. Often, there is a Main Problem the Main Character Must Solve. INCITING INCIDENT/STATUS QUO CHANGE One day, something happens. A boy discovers he is a wizard (Harry Potter). A girl falls down a rabbit hole (Alice in Wonderland). A murder happens (almost every mystery ever). Or: The Worst Thing That Could Happen to the Main Character…happens. You get the idea. In short, the hero is called to adventure. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 14 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Structure 15 RAISE THE STAKES Things get more dangerous and important. In small dramas, the events become more important inwardly—­ in our main characters’ personal lives—­ and the events of the story gradually build until they threaten to change their lives forever. In action movies, events become more important outwardly, escalating until not only our main characters are threatened, but also the country, the world, or (in big budget films) civilization as we know it. In some films, the main characters’ inward journey (what they must learn) and outward journey (what they must do) are inter- twined. See: Star Wars, Inside Out, Avatar. TURNING POINT/MOMENT OF TRUTH Often this is the climax—­the moment of highest tension. The char- acter must make the Ultimate Choice or Fight the Ultimate Battle. Will Beauty kiss the Beast and save his life? (Beauty and the Beast) Will Neo realize—­and accept—­his role as The One before it’s too late? (The Matrix) Will Frodo destroy the Ring and save Middle Earth? (Lord of the Rings) Sometimes it’s the character deciding, “I’ve got to do something about this” or, “I’m mad as heck and I’m not going to take it anymore.” DENOUEMENT/THE FINAL ACT What does the hero or heroine (again, in your essay, that’s you) do about it? Fight, run, apologize, start a movement, or some- thing else? CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 15 5/3/16 10:11 AM  16 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS OUTCOME/NEW STATUS QUO The result. Note that this should be different from the original status quo. Montage Structure WHAT IS A MONTAGE? Montage is a technique that involves creating a new whole from sepa- rate fragments (pictures, words, music). In filmmaking, a montage is used to condense space and time so that information can be delivered in a more efficient way. Take the classic “falling in love” montage that’s commonly used in romantic comedies. We don’t see every single moment or interaction between the couple as their relationship grows; instead, we see: she surprises him at work with a card she made, they walk through the park, they dance in the rain, they move boxes into their new home. You get the idea—­a few images tell the whole story. And you can use this technique for your essay. But which moments from your life should you choose? That’s something we won’t decide right this second—­it’ll take some time—­ but it’s what will ultimately provide the building blocks for your essay. And remember that there’s no right answer to that question, since essay writing is an art, not a science. FIND A FOCUSING LENS Montage essays employ what I call a focusing lens. You can’t discuss every single aspect of your life, but you can show us a few important elements through a single lens, or metaphor. What type of focusing lens might you use to write your essay? A sport? A place? An art form? A hobby? Tips for Finding a Good Focusing Lens 1. Make it visual. Storytelling is a visual medium. Use a lens that CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 16 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Structure 17 will help conjure images in the reader’s mind. And, by the way, I don’t recommend writing “soundtrack” or “mix­tape” essays in which your favorite songs provide the soundtrack for your life, as the reader can’t hear the music (and often doesn’t know or have the same emotional connection as you do to the songs referenced). Be a painter—­conjure some images in our mind. 2. Consider using something you know a lot about. Know how to cook? Use food. Play chess? Use that! Use your essence objects list for ideas. 3. Find a focusing lens that allows you to “go wide.” Use a metaphor that will allow you to discuss several different aspects of who you are. For more narrative structure essay examples and analyses, see pages 22, 26, 54, 56, 85, 87, and 173. For more montage structure essay examples and analyses, see pages 24, 28, 65, 96, 99, and 211. NARRATIVE VS. MONTAGE STRUCTURE TAKEAWAYS To make sure the difference between narrative and montage struc- tures is really clear: With Narrative Structure… Think of the events being linked through cause and effect. For example: I used to be really shy. My shyness was really frustrating. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 17 5/3/16 10:11 AM  18 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS I knew I had to do something, so I tried a few different things. I failed at all of them. Finally, I joined the debate club. At first it didn’t go well. But eventually I fell in love with it. I started to come out of my shell and began improving in other areas of my life. I’m no longer the shy kid—­now I speak up and stand up for my beliefs. This experience has led me to want to major in international relations and pursue a career in foreign diplomacy. See how one thing leads to another, and how all the events are linked through cause and effect? That’s what I’m calling narrative structure. With Montage Structure… Think of the events in a montage being linked thematically. For example: My first lesson in behavioral economics came from my grandfather. An experience with my dad taught me my second lesson in behavioral economics. But it wasn’t until I read Freakonomics that I began to actively examine the world through the lens of a behavioral economist. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 18 5/3/16 10:11 AM  Structure 19 Behavioral economics has provided me with an avenue to explore some of life’s most complex questions. Although there are no concrete answers to these questions, finding my passion for the social sciences has not only led me to a potential career path, but has also brought me closer to my family. See how they’re connected by a common theme? That theme is behavioral economics. Remember that the key difference between narrative and montage structures is this: Narrative structure connects events causally (not “casually,” but through cause and effect). Montage structure connects events thematically. One final, important difference: With narrative structure, events are often chronological (they’re mentioned in the order that they happened). With montage structure, there is more freedom to jump around in time. Which structure should you choose? That depends on the type of essay you’re writing. Unsure which type you want to write? Read on. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 19 5/3/16 10:11 AM  CHAPTER THREE The Four Types of College Essays I LOVE TO BEGIN MY private sessions and live workshops with these two questions: 1. Have you experienced challenges in your life? 2. Do you know what you want to be in the future? So imagine I’m there right now, looking at you over a cup of tea, and I’ve just asked you these two questions. Why these two questions? Because they point to four essay paths, and each path requires a different approach. And before you choose a path, you must answer the questions. No, really. This is an interactive book, so play along. In fact, circle one: 1. Have you experienced significant challenges in your life? Yes No 2. Do you know what you want to be in the future? Yes No CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 20 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 21 Okay, the answers to these two questions break into four essay types: A B Student has faced significant Student has not faced significant challenges and does know what challenges and does know what he or she wants to study. he or she wants to study. C D Student has faced significant Student has not faced significant challenges and does not know challenges and does not know what he or she wants to study. what he or she wants to study. Tip: Narrative structure tends to work well for essay types A and C, while montage structure tends to work well for types B and D. I’ll say more in the upcoming step-­by-­step instructions, but I just wanted to plant this idea here. Must you write about challenges in your essay if you have experi- enced them? No. Must you write about your career if you know what it is? No. You can write a great essay if you have or haven’t experienced challenges and if you do or don’t know what you want to study. Writing about challenges, however, can yield interesting mate- rial, and writing about a future career can help you shape your essay ending. But you don’t have to write about either. (I know I’m repeating myself, but I really want you to get that.) In a moment I’ll ask you to pick a type and dive in to the step-­by-­ step guide for that type, but first let’s look at an example of each one. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 21 5/3/16 10:11 AM  22 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS TYPE A: “WITH DEBATE” Written by a student who did face significant challenges and did know what she wanted to study The clock was remarkably slow as I sat, legs tightly crossed, squirming at my desk. “Just raise your hand,” my mind pleaded, “ask.” But despite my urgent need to visit the restroom, I remained seated, begging time to move faster. You see, I was that type of kid to eat French Fries dry because I couldn’t confront the McDonalds cashier for some Heinz packets. I was also the type to sit crying in front of school instead of asking the office if it could check on my late ride. Essentially, I chose to struggle through a problem if the solution involved speaking out against it. My diffidence was frustrating. My parents relied on me, the only one able to speak English, to guide them, and always anticipated the best from me. However, as calls for help grew, the more defunct I became. I felt that every move I made, it was a gamble between success and failure. For me, the fear of failure and disappointment far outweighed the possibility of triumph, so I took no action and chose to silently suffer under pressure. Near meltdown, I knew something needed to be done. Mustering up the little courage I had, I sought ways to break out of my shell—­without luck. Recreational art classes ended in three boring months. I gave up Self Defense after embarrass- ing myself in class. After-­school band, library volunteering, and book clubs ended similarly. Continued effort yielded nothing. Disillusioned and wrung dry of ideas, I followed my mom’s advice and joined a debate club. As expected, the club only reaffirmed my self-­doubt. Eye contact? Greater volume? No thanks. But soon, the club moved on from “how to make a speech” lessons to the exploration of argumentation. We were taught to CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 22 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 23 speak the language of Persuasion, and play the game of Debate. Eventually, I fell in love with it all. By high school, I joined the school debate team, began socializing, and was even elected to head several clubs. I devel- oped critical and analytical thinking skills, and learned how to think and speak spontaneously. I became proud and confident. Moreover, I became eager to play my role in the family, and family relations strengthened. In fact, nowadays, my parents are interested in my school’s newest gossip. Four years with debate, and now I’m the kid up at the white board; the kid leading discussions; and the kid standing up for her beliefs. More importantly, I now confront issues instead of avoid- ing them. It is exciting to discover solutions to problems that affect others, as I was able to do as part of the 1st Place team for the 2010 United Nations Global Debates Program on climate change and poverty. I take a natural interest in global issues, and plan to become a foreign affairs analyst or diplomat by studying international affairs with a focus on national identity. In particular, I am interested in the North-­South Korean tension. What irreconcilable differences have prompted a civili- zation to separate? Policy implications remain vague, and sover- eignty theories have their limits—­how do we determine what compromises are to be made? And on a personal level, why did my grandfather have to flee from his destroyed North Korean hometown—­and why does it matter? I see a reflection of myself in the divide at the 38th paral- lel because I see one part isolating itself in defense to outside threats, and another part coming out to face the world as one of the fastest-­developing nations. Just as my shy persona before debate and extroverted character after debate are both part of who I am, the Korean civilization is also one. And just as my CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 23 5/3/16 10:11 AM  24 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS parents expect much from me, the first of my family to attend college, I have grand expectations for this field of study. TYPE B: “ENDODONTICS” Written by a student who did not face significant challenges and did know what he wanted to study As a kid I was always curious. I was unafraid to ask questions and didn’t worry how dumb they would make me sound. In second grade I enrolled in a summer science program and built a solar-­ powered oven that baked real cookies. I remember obsessing over the smallest details: Should I paint the oven black to absorb more heat? What about its shape? A spherical shape would allow for more volume, but would it trap heat as well as conventional rectan- gular ovens? Even then I was obsessed with the details of design. And it didn’t stop in second grade. A few years later I designed my first pair of shoes, working for hours to perfect each detail, including whether the laces should be mineral white or diamond white. Even then I sensed that minor differences in tonality could make a huge impact and that different colors could evoke different responses. In high school I moved on to more advanced projects, teach- ing myself how to take apart, repair, and customize cell phones. Whether I was adjusting the flex cords that connect the IPS LCD to the iPhone motherboard, or replacing the vibrator motor, I loved discovering the many engineering feats Apple overcame in its efforts to combine form with function. And once I obtained my driver’s license, I began working on cars. Many nights you’ll find me in the garage replacing standard chrome trim with an elegant piano black finish or changing the threads on the stitching of the seats to add a personal touch, as I believe a few small changes can transform a generic product into a personalized work of art. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 24 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 25 My love of details applies to my schoolwork too. I’m the math geek who marvels at the fundamental theorems of Calculus, or who sees beauty in A = (s(s − a)(s − b) (s − c))^(1 / 2). Again, it’s in the details: one bracket off or one digit missing and the whole equation collapses. And details are more than details, they can mean the difference between negative and positive infinity, an impossible range of solutions. I also love sharing this appreciation with others and have taken it upon myself to personally eradicate mathonumopho- biconfundosis, my Calculus teacher’s term for “extreme fear of Math.” A small group of other students and I have devoted our after-­school time to tutoring our peers in everything from Pre-­Algebra to AP Calculus B/C and I believe my fluency in Hebrew and Farsi has helped me connect with some of my school’s Israeli and Iranian students. There’s nothing better than seeing a student solve a difficult problem without me saying anything. You probably think I want to be a designer. Or perhaps an engineer? Wrong. Well, kind of. Actually, I want to study Endodontics, which is (I’ll save you the Wikipedia look-­up) a branch of dentistry that deals with the tooth pulp and the tissues surrounding the root of a tooth. As an Endodontist, I’ll be working to repair damaged teeth by performing precision root canals and implementing dental crowns. Sound exciting? It is to me. The fact is, it’s not unlike the work I’ve been doing repairing cellphone circuits and modifying cars, though there is one small difference. In the future I’ll still be working to repair machines, but this machine is one of the most sophisticated machines ever created: the human body. Here, my obsession with details will be as crucial as ever. A one millimeter difference can mean the difference between a successful root canal and a lawsuit. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 25 5/3/16 10:11 AM  26 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS The question is: Will the toothbrushes I hand out be mineral white or diamond white? TYPE C: “RAISING ANTHONY” Written by a student who did face significant challenges and did not know what she wanted to study At age three, I was separated from my mother. The court gave full custody of both my baby brother and me to my father. Of course, at my young age, I had no clue what was going on. However, it did not take me long to realize that life with my father would not be without its difficulties. My brother, Anthony, was eleven months old when my father placed us in the hands of our first babysitter. I remem- ber being confused at first, wondering where my father had gone and when he would be back, but after a while, I became accustomed to this routine of absence and the never ending babysitters that filled in for him. These strangers consisted of college students, chain-­ smokers, senile women, and foreigners—­all were technically adults, but not one was a suitable substitute for a parent. When my father was home, he still seemed absent; he was distant both physically and emotionally. He was busy bouncing from one girlfriend to the next, sleeping in until 1:30 in the afternoon, and sitting on the couch watching television. He took us out to restaurants every night and wasted the money he earned on expensive dinners, his current girlfriend, and liquor. This continued for ten years. Legally, we had all the necessities to survive, but in truth our home was devoid of structure. Schoolwork went unchecked. Bedtimes were unregulated. Dust accumulated in thick layers on the paperwork that overflowed on the dining table. Often times, Anthony and I would spend hours waiting at school for CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 26 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 27 someone to pick us up, and most of our dinners were served well past eleven at night. Consequentially, and quite unwittingly, I shed my child- hood and assumed the role of “parent” for Anthony before my seventh birthday. I memorized the routes we took to school and led Anthony home myself. I watched professional chefs on PBS and learned how to cook basic meals for two. Unfortunately, as I progressively developed into the parent, Anthony took advan- tage of our lack of true authority and grew into the epitome of a problem child. He became unruly, and his behavior soon bled into his school life. His grades suffered and he seemed to act out more often. His rash temper continued to grow until one day the school called our home because he had tried to throw a chair at his teacher. Anthony was the only kindergartner in our school’s history to be suspended. The school counselor recommended that when my father was in town we attend therapy as a family. But that accomplished nothing—­my father’s initial attempts to implement authority devolved quickly into apathy, and then he was traveling again. I, on the other hand, would not give up so easily. I became the watchful eye and mentor that Anthony and I both needed. I soaked in the parenting videos that our family counselor had given my dad. I explained to Anthony why a structured lifestyle is important and why retribution is needed for one’s misdeeds. To further instill self-­discipline in him, I would have him formulate his own penalties. I also began to follow up on his schoolwork by contacting his teachers. On one particularly hopeful after- noon I even tried to introduce him to books that I had read—­ but I learned I can’t win every battle. I wasn’t satisfied with just giving a fish to my little brother; I wanted to teach him how to cast lines himself and learn the tools of self-­reliance. Looking back at my hectic childhood, I am grateful for the CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 27 5/3/16 10:11 AM  28 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS insight it afforded me, and I am grateful for the effect my little brother had on me. Inadvertently, by raising Anthony I ended up raising myself. Living with my unreliable father and reliant younger brother gave me the need and incentive to find myself and to mature quickly. At a very early age I became resourceful, independent, and responsible. It makes me proud to know that I single-­ handedly raised Anthony and myself. I now know that I can face any challenge with confidence. Even if I don’t succeed, I know I will be stronger just for trying. TYPE D: “SCRAPBOOK” Written by a student who did not face significant challenges and did not know what she wanted to study I look at the ticking, white clock: it’s eleven at night, my prime- time. I clear the carpet of the Sony camera charger, the faded Levi’s, and last week’s Statistics homework. Having prepared my workspace, I pull out two 12 by 12 crème sheets and repro- duce sketches of the layouts already imprinted in my head. Now I can really begin. I leave a quarter inch border as I cut the first photograph, which I then adhere to a polka-­dotted paper. For a sophisti- cated touch, I use needle and thread to sew the papers together. Loads of snipping and pasting later, the clock reads three in the morning. I glance down at the final product and feel an overwhelming sense of pride as I brush my fingers over the many layers and pages. For me, the act of taking pieces of my life and putting them together on a page is my way of organizing remnants of my past to make something whole and complete. This particular project is the most valuable one to date: the scrapbook of my life. In the center of the first page are the words MY WORLD CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 28 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 29 in periwinkle letters. All four of my Korean grandparents sit in the top corner, looking over my first birthday—­my ddol. Underneath them are my cousins trying not to let go of their overwhelming laughter while playing “red light, green light” at O’Melveney Park. Meanwhile, my Texas relatives watch Daniel, the youngest, throw autumn leaves into the air that someone had spent hours raking up. To the right, my friends miserably pose for our history teacher who documents our droopy faces the morning of our first AP exam. The largest photograph is that of my family huddled in front of the fireplace, drinking my brother’s hot cocoa and listening to the pitter-­patter of sporadic Los Angeles rain. I move over to the right side of the page. At the top, I have delicately sewn on three items. The first is a page of a Bible that was given to the soldiers at a Cambodian base where I taught English. Beneath is the picture of my group of Guatemalan girls devouring arroz con pollo, red sauce slobbered all over our lips. I reread the third item, a short note that a student of mine from a rural Korean school had struggled to write in her broken English. Moving down the page, I see the shelf display of my vibrantly glazed ceramic projects. I have included a clipping of my page from the school newspaper, next to ticket stubs for Wicked from my date with Dad. I made sure to incorporate a snapshot of my first scrapbook page featuring a visit to Hearst Castle on my tenth birthday. After proudly looking over each detail, I turn to the next page, which I’ve labeled: AND BEYOND. This page is not cluttered or crowded. There is my college diploma with International Relations listed and the school’s name left blank. A map covers nearly half the paper with stickers pinpointing locations all over the world, but I cannot recognize the countries’ names. The remainder of the page is a series of frames with captions under- neath. Without the photographs, the descriptions are cryptic. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 29 5/3/16 10:11 AM  30 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS For now, that second page remains incomplete because I have no precise itinerary for my future. The red flags on the map represent the places I will travel to, possibly to teach English or to partner with a charity again. As for the empty frames, they will be filled with the people I will meet: a family of my own and the families I desire to help, through a career I have yet to adopt. Until these things unfold, all I can do is prepare. I’ll continue to finalize the layout and gather materials so that I can start piecing together the next part, the next page of my life’s scrapbook. Inciting WHAT MAKES THESE ESSAYS GREAT: (a.k.a. A BRIEF STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS thing t happe TYPE A: “WITH DEBATE” what r Written by a student who did face significant would challenges and did know what she wanted to study the de Remember that narrative The clock was remarkably slow as I sat, legs tightly crossed, structure squirming at my desk. “Just raise your hand,” my mind pleaded, works well “ask.” But despite my urgent need to visit the restroom, I when relating remained seated, begging time to move faster. You see, I was challenges. that type of kid to eat French Fries dry because I couldn’t confront the McDonalds cashier for some Heinz packets. I was Raise the also the type to sit crying in front of school instead of asking stakes: it’s the office if it could check on my late ride. Essentially, I chose important that to struggle through a problem if the solution involved speaking New st she overcomes out against it. Status quo (a.k.a. though this problem not My diffidence was frustrating. My parents relied on me, the main problem once to just for herself, the only one able to speak English, to guide them, and always she must solve): for ketc but for her anticipated the best from me. However, as calls for help grew, she’s really, look at family. the more defunct I became. really shy. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 30 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 31 I felt that every move I made, it was a gamble between success and failure. For me, the fear of failure and disappoint- ment far outweighed the possibility of triumph, so I took no action and chose to silently suffer under pressure. Near meltdown, I knew something needed to be done. Mustering up the little courage I had, I sought ways to break out of my shell—­without luck. Recreational art classes ended Raise the in three boring months. I gave up Self Defense after embarrass- stakes even ing myself in class. After-­school band, library volunteering, and more: nothing book clubs ended similarly. Continued effort yielded nothing. is helping! Disillusioned and wrung dry of ideas, I followed my mom’s Inciting incident advice and joined a debate club. As expected, the club only (a.k.a. the worst reaffirmed my self-­doubt. Eye contact? Greater volume? No thing that could thanks. happen): Because But soon, the club moved on from “how to make a speech” what really shy kid lessons to the exploration of argumentation. We were taught to would want to join speak the language of Persuasion, and play the game of Debate. the debate club? Eventually, I fell in love with it all. By high school, I joined the school debate team, began socializing, and was even elected to head several clubs. I devel- Side note: Look oped critical and analytical thinking skills, and learned how to how many think and speak spontaneously. core values I became proud and confident. Moreover, I became eager she gets into to play my role in the family, and family relations strengthened. these thirty-four In fact, nowadays, my parents are interested in my school’s words. (I count newest gossip. at least five.) Four years with debate, and now I’m the kid up at the white New status quo: board; the kid leading discussions; and the kid standing up for Here she a.k.a. though she was her beliefs. answers “so oblem once too shy to ask More importantly, I now confront issues instead of avoid- what” (see lve): for ketchup packets, ing them. It is exciting to discover solutions to problems that page 119 for look at her NOW. affect others, as I was able to do as part of the 1st Place team for how to brag in the 2010 United Nations Global Debates Program on climate a subtle way). CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 31 5/3/16 10:11 AM  32 COLLEGE ESSAY ESSENTIALS change and poverty. I take a natural interest in global issues, and plan to become a foreign affairs analyst or diplomat by studying international affairs with a focus on national identity. In particular, I am interested in the North-­South Korean tension. What irreconcilable differences have prompted a civili- zation to separate? Policy implications remain vague, and sover- eignty theories have their limits—­how do we determine what compromises are to be made? And on a personal level, why did my grandfather have to flee from his destroyed North Korean hometown—­and why does it matter? Beautiful metaphor I see a reflection of myself in the divide at the 38th paral- and wonderful lel because I see one part isolating itself in defense to outside insight to close. threats, and another part coming out to face the world as one of the fastest-­developing nations. Just as my shy persona before debate and extroverted character after debate are both part of Again, who I am, the Korean civilization is also one. And just as my values— parents expect much from me, the first of my family to attend Oh, and by the hands, college, I have grand expectations for this field of study. way. to aest Remember followe that montage TYPE B: “ENDODONTICS” what” structure works Written by a student who did not face significant well for this type challenges and did know what he wanted to study of essay. As a kid I was always curious. I was unafraid to ask questions and didn’t worry how dumb they would make me sound. In In this montage second grade I enrolled in a summer science program and built a essay, the solar-­powered oven that baked real cookies. I remember obsess- author describes ing over the smallest details: Should I paint the oven black to a variety of absorb more heat? What about its shape? A spherical shape values, all of would allow for more volume, but would it trap heat as well as Core values: which connect conventional rectangular ovens? Even then I was obsessed with curiosity and under the lens the details of design. meticulousness. of endodontics. And it didn’t stop in second grade. CollegeEssayEssentials_INTs.indd 32 5/3/16 10:11 AM  The Four Types of College Essays 33 A few years later I designed my first pair of shoes, working for hours to perfect each detail, including whether the laces should be mineral white or diamond white. Even then I sensed Setup for final that minor differences in tonality could make a huge impact and line of essay. that different colors could evoke different responses. In high school I moved on to more advanced projects, teaching myself how to take apart, repair, and customize cell phones. Whether I was adjusting the flex cords that connect the IPS LCD to the iPhone motherboard, or replacing the vibrator taphor motor, I loved discovering the many engineering