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Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky I      finished my master’s degree at Johns Hopkins University. I learned so much and really enjoyed the interaction with my classmates. I wanted to learn more about leadership...

Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky I      finished my master’s degree at Johns Hopkins University. I learned so much and really enjoyed the interaction with my classmates. I wanted to learn more about leadership and human behavior. I had a burning desire for more knowledge, so I began looking for a doctorate program. The problem was that most were full-time programs with classes held Monday through Friday during the day. Since I was married with kids and working full time, that schedule was not going to work for me. There were plenty of online programs, but after trying one class, I quickly figured out I preferred in-person classes. I needed to interact with actual people if I was going to learn about leadership and behavior. One of my mentors, Bill, put me in contact with a retired general, Howard Prince, who also happened to have his Ph.D. and was an academic hero of mine. Dr. Prince was previously a professor and head of the Department of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership at the U.S. Military Academy (West Point) and primarily responsible for creating the material used in the IACP LPO program. He led men in combat as an Army Ranger and senior parachutist earning a Silver Star, Distinguished Flying Cross, three Bronze Stars, an Air Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 116 Medal, two Purple Hearts, and a Combat Infantryman Badge in the process. To say he’s “been there and done that” is an understatement. If anyone could tell me which doctorate program to apply for, it was him. I remember being very nervous before calling him at the prearranged time. Do I call him Doctor? General? General-Doctor? Doctor-General? I had all these questions to ask him but also wanted to value his time and not sound like a blabbering idiot; I’m pretty sure I failed. “Hello,” he answered. “Hi Dr. Prince, it’s Ed Pallas. Thank you for taking my call.” I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I’m sure it came across as much less intellectual and coherent than I planned. He listened without interrupting and gave me this advice. “It doesn’t matter what school you attend. Don’t worry about the name brand. Don’t worry about what your dissertation is going to be about. Focus on what they’re going to teach you. In a doctorate program, they are going to teach you the scientific method. They are going to teach you how to learn. You will use the scientific method to focus on your dissertation topic, and you will learn all about your topic. The knowledge you gain in your little area of expertise is not the value of the program. The value of your education, of researching and writing your dissertation, is learning the scientific method itself. You’re going to earn a license to learn. With that license, you can learn about anything you want. Oh, by the way, always keep your ego in check. Don’t let those letters after your name go to your head. Yes, you will be a doctor, but what you really are is a learner. Take that knowledge and do something with it.” I took those words to heart. Please hear me. I say this with the humility that Dr. Prince told me to have. I have three degrees from three different universities. I’ve learned more and more, about less and less, until I now feel I know everything…about nothing. There is so You’re going to earn a license to learn. With that license, you can learn about anything you want. Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 117 much out there to learn about leadership. The more I discover, the more I realize how little I know. What I have learned, what I do know, I’m sharing with you. Part of this is understanding a little about the learning process itself. How to Learn If you haven’t figured it out, I’m a nerd. I prefer the term pracademic, meaning practicing academic. (Shout out to all my fellow National Institute of Justice Law Enforcement Enhancing Data and Science, LEADS, Scholars. It was from one of you that I first heard the term pracademic.) I love to learn about all things related to leadership and human behavior. I’m also fascinated with how we learn and our ability to take what we’ve learned and use it in our own lives. The learning process contains two magic moments. The first occurs when you’re reading, listening, or watching something to understand it. Maybe it is a new concept or idea, and you’re trying to figure it out. It’s like solving a puzzle. There is the “aha” moment. Something clicks and you get it, you achieve understanding in your mind and see the solution. The second magic moment occurs when you take that solution, whatever it is you’ve learned from your “aha” moment, and then use it. This is where you take what you’ve learned and “do” leadership. To achieve these two magic moments, let’s look at a simple, threestep process of learning. The three steps are Know, Understand, and Apply.46 Know. In writing this book, I intend to help you change, to develop into a better leader than you are now. Let’s say you’re an average leader, say a five on the (arbitrary) scale of one to ten. Reading this book is the first step towards increasing your leadership ability from a five to a six (and later a seven and eight). It is the first step because it will begin to increase your self-awareness. Remember the stages of competence from chapter 2? This is where you go from Stage 1 to Stage 2. In the Know stage, you become aware of basic terminology and concepts. On the subject of leadership, these could include engagement, Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 118 management vs. leadership, bases of power, and so on. You haven’t mastered the terms yet, but you develop a general knowledge of them. I encourage you to use a highlighter and take notes whenever you read a book. This will help your brain process and retain the information better. Highlight the parts that seem important to you or that you don’t understand yet. Fold the corner of the page or use sticky flags to mark important concepts. Understand. This is where you comprehend, discern, and grasp the material. Rarely do people retain and truly understand any new material or concept the first time they read it. Use your notes and highlighted sections to review the material a second time. This is where the magic “aha!” moment occurs. So how do you ensure you are comprehending the ideas in this book? Form a reading group with your peer supervisors and discuss the main points from each chapter. Hearing the views and experience of another person on the same material can truly spark “aha!” moments for you. You can also take a deeper dive into my online companion course (details are at the end of the book). Apply. This is where you “do” leadership. This is the most important part, where the second magic moment happens. Reading, discussing, and taking digital courses are the foundation for what you now must do. Without a strong foundation, this part will not be effective, and you might get discouraged. Understand you will not be successful every time you try to lead, but you won’t become an effective leader if you don’t try to lead. So, we’ve come to the question of how do you apply what you’re learning in this book? What does the behavior of leadership look like? What do you actually “do”? I’ve laid out a seven-step process for you to follow. As you can tell, I like coming up with acronyms to make things easier to remember, so, of course, I have an acronym for this process. I call it the LEAD ME? F.U.! system. Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 119 LEAD ME FU! System Look and Listen The first rule of leadership is you must show up. You cannot see and hear what’s going on unless you’re there. I know this sounds basic, but your people notice when you come and go, when you are late and when you are on time. When you spend time with the people you lead, you will see and hear what is going on. This is Leadership by Walking Around (LBWA).47 If you work in the same area, this is easy; you’re already there. Simply focus your observational powers and notice what’s said and done. If you have a separate office, this means coming out of your office and going to the area where your team works. This could mean hanging out in the roll call room for a little while, making the rounds in a cell block, visiting the call center floor, or running calls with your officers. This might seem a little awkward at first, especially if you’ve always retreated to your office or never been in the field with your troops. That’s okay; you will get used to it and so will your team. Don’t follow a strict schedule, be flexible, and make it somewhat random. Listen and look more, talk less. Observe work areas. Who’s messy, and who’s neat? What does dialogue among the group members sound like? If you do this long enough, you will get a feel for what “normal” is. You want to know what normal looks, sounds, and feels like. When things are not normal, that is your best indicator that there’s a problem. Empathize Empathy, the ability to understand another person’s point of view, is a crucial skill in leadership. This is a skill, like all others we talk about, that can be developed, but takes time and effort. Don’t brush this off The first rule of leadership is you must show up. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 120 as being too soft. Learning to identify the feelings and emotions of others will allow you to understand their behavior, how and why they act, but only if you value the concept and engage in deliberate practice to increase your ability to empathize. Empathy is not feeling sorry for someone (that is sympathy). Empathy is not understanding how you would feel in their shoes; it’s assessing how they feel in their shoes. This is a subtle, but important, difference. Empathy is not about being “nice.” If one of your people is upset, you’re not trying to make them happy; you’re trying to understand why they’re experiencing anger, rage, frustration, or another emotion. Too many leaders, especially in our profession, listen for the minimal time necessary to think they understand the problem and then immediately try to fix it. “Wow, that sucks, you know what always works for me is…” An empathetic response is validating someone else by simply identifying and acknowledging their feelings without judgment. If you practice empathy regularly and correctly, you will gain greater awareness of the needs of those you lead. Empathy is a powerful tool to build trust and psychological safety. Ask Questions While engaging in LBWA, and working on your empathy, ask questions to build relationships with those you lead. Asking questions is a way to demonstrate you care and value the people you lead. To start, focus your questions on three areas: personal life, current work performance, and future career plans. Empathy is not understanding how you would feel in their shoes; it’s assessing how they feel in their shoes. Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 121 While you have to be careful not to get too personal, most people appreciate it when their boss shows interest in them as human beings and the things they value outside of work, such as their family. What does their spouse or significant other do for a living? Do they have any kids? Where did they go to school? What do they do for fun? How about their current work performance? Check in with them. How do they feel about their job? Do they need anything from you to support them? Do they have any obstacles preventing them from doing their best work? What part of their job do they like most? Least? Inquire about their future goals and aspirations. Part of your role as their leader is to help them achieve those goals. Are they interested in becoming a detective, joining a specialized unit, or the next promotion opportunity? Decide If you engage in the first three steps on a regular basis, you will eventually become aware of an issue that requires your attention. This does not happen every time you engage in LBWA (if it does, you might consider the possibility that you’re micromanaging). An issue could also be brought to your attention through email, a telephone call, or someone walking into your office. When it comes to making decisions, I encourage you to be aware of two traps that many first-line supervisors fall into. The first decision trap is deciding too slowly or failing to make any decision at all. Sometimes this is caused by overthinking a problem (paralysis by analysis). Other times, the supervisor doesn’t make a decision because he’s afraid it will be the wrong decision and doesn’t want to take responsibility. The second trap is making a decision too quickly. A knee-jerk decision is made before the supervisor has gathered all the information necessary and hasn’t given the problem enough thought. Both traps are bad for the leader. To achieve a balance between not enough thought and too much thought, I encourage you to ask yourself a couple of questions about the decision itself. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 122 1. Is this a problem or an opportunity? 2. If it’s an opportunity, how can you take advantage of the situation to maximize the benefits to your people and the mission of your organization? A quick example might help here. During a conversation with one of your direct reports, you discover he’s interested in learning to speak Spanish. Becoming fluent in Spanish would not only help your officer to grow and develop but would enable him to better connect with the community members he serves. You know about a little-used tuition assistance fund and help your officer fill out the paperwork to obtain funding for tutoring. Show your officer how to take advantage of the tuition assistance program to take Spanish classes. 3. If it’s a problem (and let’s face it, many leadership decisions are needed to address problems), don’t make a decision until you ask yourself if the problem is one of motivation or ability, which happens to be the next step. Motivation or Ability? You have identified a problem, most likely a performance issue. You have a decision to make, but before you do so, you need to figure out if the root cause of the problem is one of motivation or ability. Is the person really experiencing low motivation? Could it possibly be that they’re not performing well because they don’t have the ability to perform the task well? Don’t treat this issue lightly. I’ve seen many leaders misdiagnose the issue and then try to motivate someone who has an ability problem. This results in even lower motivation and erodes the trust between the leader and the follower. Let’s say you’re a supervisor on the midnight shift. You had a veteran officer, Nick Narcson, recently rotate out of a five-year tour in narcotics. You’ve noticed that in three months, Nick has not made a single DUI (Driving Under the Influence) arrest. As part of your shift, he knows impaired driving enforcement is one of your priorities. Does Nick suffer from low motivation? Maybe. Could it be that, after five years of being Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 123 off the road, he doesn’t remember how to make a DUI arrest? How would you know? It sounds crazy, but you could talk to him. Once you find out if the performance problem is one of motivation or ability, it’s time to come up with a plan. If the issue is ability, your plan will include elements of training, coaching, and mentoring. If the issue is motivation, your plan could involve carrots, sticks, or the ARETE model to create a DOSE of the motivation cocktail. Establish and Execute Your Plan Remember, we’re not talking about tactical situations; this is about people problems and people possibilities. Tactical issues often involve split-second decisions. People issues give you time to think. As law enforcement leaders, we have to all come up through the ranks. This is a good thing because for the most part, we’ve all done the job of those we lead. This is also a bad thing because we’ve developed a find-a-problemfix-a-problem mindset. Think about the typical patrol officer who gets dispatched to a call for service. They arrive at the scene, must quickly diagnose the issue, make a Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 124 decision to resolve the issue, and then move onto the next call or go back in service so they can be ready for the next one. These officers get promoted and apply the same mindset to leadership issues. When you discover a problem or an opportunity, take the time to STOP, THINK, and then ACT with competence in order to establish a plan and carry it out. Let’s now come back to Officer Nick Narcson. You sit down with Nick, have a conversation, and discover, as you suspected, that he’s not doing DUI enforcement because he’s not comfortable with the SFSTs. “Hey boss, I haven’t made a DUI arrest in years. I can barely spell SFSTs anymore. Can you imagine me trying to testify? Any decent defense attorney would tear me up. I can’t risk that embarrassment. Look, I don’t have any DUI arrests, but I’ve got more drug arrests than anyone else on the squad.” STOP. Your instinct is to resolve the issue right away. You want to sign him up for a DUI refresher class at the academy and then be done with the issue. Don’t do it. Train yourself to pause and disengage from the situation. You don’t need to make a decision about this issue at that very second. Bullets aren’t flying, policy is not being violated, no one is in danger if this situation continues, as is, for a little while longer. Thank him for the frank discussion and tell him you’re going to give the situation some thought and get back to him. THINK. Is this a motivation or ability problem? It sounds like Nick is motivated to make arrests, but his efforts are focused on areas of his strength, drug arrests. He’s not making DUI arrests because he doesn’t remember how to properly perform the SFSTs. This is an ability problem. Come up with a plan to address the issue and resolve it. The plan might look like this: 1. Communicate. Review the importance and priority of DUI enforcement with Ofc. Narcson. This is a major part of your shift’s mission and a priority of the chief. 2. Set clear expectations. While you cannot mandate a quota for DUI arrests, you can mandate that he spend a certain amount of time, each shift, on DUI enforcement activities. Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 125 3. Educate. Acknowledge that it’s reasonable that he’s forgotten how to properly do SFSTs after being in narcotics for five years. Offer him a choice in how he will regain these skills. He can go back to the academy for a refresher class, or he can shadow Officer Hans Kuffs, who is the number one DUI producer on the shift (you’ve already checked, and Hans is willing to help Nick). 4. Acknowledge Ofc. Narcson’s experience and drug arrests contributions to the shift. Ask if he’d be willing to share some of his experience with other members. 5. Set a check-in date for two weeks from now to see what progress is being made. ACT. Put your plan in motion. Start with a conversation explaining all the elements of your plan to Ofc. Narcson. Be flexible with your plan, but use it as a guide to resolve the issue. Follow Up After you’ve executed your plan, how do you know if it worked? This is where you need to follow up on the issue. Don’t leave this to chance and hope you’ll remember. Put a reminder in your calendar or include a check-in date in the plan itself. This is a critical but overlooked step in the leadership process. Did your plan resolve the issue, possibly make it worse, or create new issues? For Officer Narcson, you might want to schedule a meeting at the end of each workweek to simply check in with him (and maybe Officer Kuffs). This does not have to be a formal sit-down meeting, although it can be if you’d like. The idea is that Officer Narcson knows the issue is important to you, and you’re expecting to see some progress. When you follow up, you’re starting the LEAD ME? FU! process all over again. Look and listen to see if the execution of your plan made things better or worse? Many leaders miss this whole evaluation process (most don’t have a plan to start with). Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 126 No Plan? Then the F.U. Is on You. Without a plan, here is what happens. There is a performance problem, so the leader uses a hammer (discipline), and they hit the follower with it. When the follower does not respond the way the leader wants them to, they hit them again, but harder. Now the follower starts to resist and push back. What does the leader do in response? Hits them again, with the biggest hammer they are allowed to use. The big hammer is usually where the follower gets knocked into the alienated quadrant. Their faith in the leader, and the organization cracks, and they are nowhere near engaged. The leader is not only using the wrong tool, but he does not have the knowledge or the selfawareness to realize he’s just as much a part of the problem, if not more, than the employee. The statement, “I’ve tried everything I know how to do to motivate them, and nothing works” is heard from the leader. Unfortunately, it’s true, the average leader is not armed with the proper tools to resolve the problem. You, on the other hand, are being equipped with those tools. LEAD ME? F.U.! is an ongoing process. At first, it might seem like a lot of steps to follow. Like learning how to drive, you’re at the early stage of developing competence (conscious competence), so you’ll have to really think about each step. You’ll soon find the steps overlap and become part of your daily habits (unconscious competence). In the next chapter we will add another tool to your belt, one that most leaders fear more than anything else, the courageous conversation. Mad Respect, Chief My flight into the Des Moines airport Sunday afternoon arrived late. Michael, at the Enterprise counter, couldn’t have been more polite when he explained that it would be, “Just a few more minutes until your car is ready.” A few minutes turned into an hour, but I was finally on my way to the hotel. After wiping down the room with my trusty Clorox travel wipes—I’ve been a germaphobe for Lead Me? F. U.! How to Learn and Do Leadership 127 decades, ever since I saw a tv special about how dirty hotel rooms are—I called my girls, reviewed my material, and went to sleep. I arrived at Camp Dodge, home of the Iowa Law Enforcement Training Academy, a little sleepy but excited. I was there all week to teach my Leader Armor First-Line Supervisor School. There were 35 students in the class. During introductions I discovered there was a mix of current first-line supervisors and aspiring supervisors, both sworn and civilian. As usual, many of the current supervisors had been in their positions for months, or even a couple of years, before they received any formal leadership training. One of the students, seated in the front row, was a new police chief. He told the class he had never in his almost-two-decade career been to a leadership training class. He knew he was in over his head and needed to up level his skills. I watched for the reactions of the other students in the class. They, in turn, looked at me, waiting to see what I would say. After all, this was a course for first-line supervisors, not for police chiefs, right? I explained that there’s no such thing as chief leadership, captain leadership, or sergeant leadership. There is not even such a thing as police leadership, business leadership, or even navy-seal leadership. There are only two types of leadership, effective and ineffective leadership. Leadership can be taught and must also be modeled. By making the statements he did, the chief was modeling leadership for the rest of the class by his honesty, his self-awareness, and his humility. That chief took courage to register for and show up in that classroom. He had the selfawareness to know he needed to work on his soft skills. He knew he need more tools on his belt to achieve leadership excellence. Use the ARETE model to practice effective, excellent leadership. Make leadership a habit, one that gets a little better, a little stronger each day. Leadership takes courage. This courage is different than what it takes to run towards the sound of gunfire. It’s difficult to admit that you don’t know everything, to speak in front of those you lead, to take risks that you might make the wrong decision. Law enforcement leaders are not scared of bad guys, bullets, or battle. There’s one thing that makes many of us quake in our boots, lose sleep, and get nervous. That is having a courageous conversation with those we lead. That’s what we will talk about in the next chapter. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 128 Chapter 7: Lessons Learned There are two magic moments in the learning process. The first is when you see a new concept or solution to a problem in your mind. The second is when you apply that solution in your life. To achieve learning, and achieve those magic moments, you must KNOW, UNDERSTAND, and APPLY the material. If you struggle with how to “do” leadership, the LEAD ME? F.U.! Model will help you apply what you are learning in this book. Follow the steps and you will model effective leadership.