Chapter 10.txt

Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? “What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson I       had been the corporal on the Fourth District Special Assignment Team for       a few weeks when Dom, the sergeant, said, “There’s a staff meeting coming       up this...

Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? “What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson I       had been the corporal on the Fourth District Special Assignment Team for       a few weeks when Dom, the sergeant, said, “There’s a staff meeting coming       up this week. Can you fill in for me?” “Uh, sure, what do I need to do?” I asked. “It’s easy. The captain runs the meeting. She has her three lieutenants, the crime analyst, and several sergeants there. Everyone reports on what their unit’s doing. You’d represent SAT and just let them know what cases we’ve been working on and what our plans are for the upcoming week.” “So, I’ll be the only corporal?” I asked. “Yea, probably, but you can handle it,” Dom assured me. “Sure, I can do that. No problem.” I replied, feeling a little apprehensive. Dom smiled and then said, “Oh, by the way, since we work 4:00 to midnight, and the meeting is at 11:00, you get overtime.” “Wow, bonus. Sounds good, thanks.” Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 164 I was nervous. I went through our case log and wrote up some notes, trying to anticipate anything the captain might ask me about the team or what we’ve been doing that week. I wanted to be prepared and, most importantly, not look like an idiot in front of all the “brass” that would be in the room. The meeting went just like Dom described. When it was my turn, I told everyone about the cases we had made that week and what we were looking to do for the upcoming week. The Captain simply said, “Thank you, Ed,” and moved onto the next person. No questions, no follow up. To this day, I’m not sure if I covered everything so thoroughly and completely that nobody had any questions, or if everyone was simply bored and keeping their mouths shut to escape the meeting sooner than later. I’m pretty sure it was the second option. Today, I laugh at the memory. I have developed an allergic reaction to meetings—well, poorly run meetings, which means most of them. But, at the time, it was a big deal. I filled in for Dom at many of those staff meetings. He could have gone; the overtime would have been his. But he chose to let me go instead. I know he hated meetings then as much as I do now. I believe the real reason he sent me was to give me the experience of going and the face time in front of the brass. He knew I wanted to be a sergeant someday and was helping me get there. I spent five years as a corporal, mentoring under Dom for most of them. In those years, I learned what a good leader does. Whenever he was off, I ran the team. I tried to be a good leader, but I probably failed as often as I succeeded. Almost every failure was due to one problem. Those were the times when I knew what to do but failed to do it. I knew I needed to arrive every day before the rest of the team did, but sometimes I didn’t. I knew I should be leading by example, and sometimes I did, but many times I did not. Whenever I failed, it was because there was a gap between what I knew and what I did. Self-Awareness On many occasions, I’ve been asked, “What’s the most important thing a leader must learn?” or “What do you think is the most important leadership trait?” In my experience, the answer to this question is where all leadership growth must start. Great leaders must learn to be self-aware. Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? 165 Self-awareness consists of two parts. The first part is the ability to understand yourself. This means knowing who you are, what you value, and what your aspirations are. This isn’t as simple as is sounds. To answer requires introspection. What are your values? What’s important to you? What do you want out of life? What are your career goals? The second part of self-awareness is knowing how others see you. This is much more difficult, since our default is to believe that others see us just as we see ourselves. When you take the time to consider that others might see us differently than we do, you have begun to increase your self-awareness. Have you ever asked for feedback on your leadership? If so, did you ask for specifics such as, “How well do I listen during staff meetings? How did I react to the feedback? Did I get defensive?” Asking for feedback is vitally important to find out how others see you. How you respond to what they say is equally important. The wrong way to respond is to get defensive, make excuses, or try to argue that they are wrong. When you ask for and then receive feedback there is only one way to respond. That is by saying, “Thank you.” Once you receive feedback, take some time to reflect on it. Perhaps the most important question is, how did you react to the feedback? Positive feedback is easy to accept. If, however, the information received was even slightly negative, take note of your initial reaction. Try to keep an open mind. You have received another person’s perception about your behavior. Did their perception match your thinking, your mental model of your own behavior? If you got defensive, chances are you’ve discovered a blind spot. Congratulations! It’s time to consider When you ask for and then receive feedback there is only one way to respond. That is by saying, “Thank you.” Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 166 that you’re not as self-aware as you first thought. This is good; you’ve taken a step towards better self-awareness. According to research, selfaware leaders build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively.54 Self-aware leaders, as a result, have satisfied and engaged followers—self-aware leaders are more effective leaders.55 Self-aware leaders understand themselves and how others see them. If the two images match, it means your actions are congruent with your values and your intentions. Congruence occurs when what you say and do matches what you think and who you truly are. What is your level of self-awareness? Be honest; you think you are pretty self-aware, right? Most likely, however, you lack the ability to accurately evaluate your behavior against your intentions. You think you’re self-aware but are not. Don’t believe me? Let’s just put it this way, my friend, the odds are against you. According to a Hay Group study of more than 18,000 people, only 18.4% of women and 9.9% of men demonstrated self-awareness consistently. Are you walking around with lemon juice on your face? (Remember McArthur Wheeler and the Dunning-Kruger effect from the introduction?), or do you see yourself as others see you? If you have not realized it yet, those you lead pay attention to everything you do. They know what you’re good at and in what areas you are lacking. We’re unaware of our weak areas, and often see them as our strengths; these are our blind spots. A blind spot is when we think we are strong in a particular area or skill, but others see us as weak in this area. You might consider yourself a great multitasker, able to hold a conference call, answer emails, and respond to text messages all at the same time in a flawless manner. When asked about your ability to multitask, others would say you have a problem focusing on anything, and when you try to do several things at once, you do them all poorly. At the risk of repeating myself, we don’t see ourselves the way others do because most of us are weak in the area of self-awareness but think we’re good at it. Why is there a disconnect between how others see us and how we see ourselves? As it turns out, that’s our default. Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? 167 Brain Wiring In the leadership classes I teach, I listen to leaders tell stories about their horrible boss who has zero self-awareness or complain about those they lead. I, rarely, if ever, hear about someone taking ownership because they, as a leader, screwed up. This is because we’re wired to interpret our own actions in the most positive way, while always seeing flaws in the performance of others. This occurs, to all of us, due to our cognitive bias. Cognitive bias occurs naturally when we filter events through our own past experiences, likes, dislikes, and personality. This means we make unconscious judgments that are often faulty. While there are many of these biases that negatively affect our leadership (confirmation bias, negativity bias, and anchoring bias, just to name a few), there’s one directly tied to our self-awareness: the fundamental attribution error. The fundamental attribution error occurs when we see poor behavior in others and blame it on their character, personality, or some internal cause, but we excuse or justify our own behavior due to some factor that occurs in our environment. For example, let’s take step 1 from the LEAD ME? F.U.! model, look and listen. Let’s say your boss rarely comes by to talk to you, but even when he does stop by, he certainly does not listen. He pops into your office for two minutes, tells you what he needs you to do, and then leaves. He doesn’t ask you any questions and has no time to listen to anything you have to say. There is no Leadership by Walking Around. You quickly come to a conclusion and make a judgment that he is a poor leader because he has no interest in building a relationship and simply doesn’t care. You then think about your own leadership. Maybe it’s been too long since you’ve engaged in any LBWA. You know you are a good leader, but you’ve had so many projects (assigned by your boss) that you just haven’t had any time to spend with your troops. You tell them what they need to do at the end of roll call and then you retreat to your office to catch up on all the projects your boss has given you. You are, basically, engaging in the same behavior as your Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 168 boss. When it comes to your boss, you blame his actions (or, in this case, inaction) on his character and his poor leadership, which are internal causes. You engage in the same behavior, but yet you justify it on external circumstances, knowing that your intentions are good. Welcome to the fundamental attribution error. The problem is, when we engage in the fundamental attribution error, we are usually unaware of it. We think we’re doing a great job, because we know, deep inside, that we’re a good person who is a good leader. We have the best intentions, but those we lead do not see inside our heads. They do not know our intentions; they only know our actions. Our followers and our boss see our behavior and make judgments and assessments based on it. The fundamental attribution error blinds us to how our behavior is seen by others. Checking Your Blind Spots Our behavior will not change until we become aware of how it is seen by others. You cannot beware of something until you are first aware of it. The question is, how do you become aware of something you cannot see? When you drive a car, you know there are at least two blind spots. To check them, you have to move your head and look. The same is true for your leadership blind spots; you need to move your head. You need to take action. The easiest way to check your leadership blind spots is to take action by asking others about them. Be honest and be proactive about his. A good way to ask might sound like this, “I’m trying to be better at leading. I think I know where my strengths are, but I also need to know where my weaker areas, my blind spots, are. I need some help in You cannot beware of something until you are first aware of it. Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? 169 seeing those. Could you give three things I should start doing, three things I should stop doing, and three things I should continue doing?” Maybe you want to ask for just one thing; it is up to you. The point is that by asking some form of the “start, stop, continue” question, you should receive some feedback that begins to shine the light on those areas of your leadership style that you cannot see. The more people you ask, the more some patterns should emerge. If you ask this of several people, and they all tell you that you get distracted easily, consider that what you thought was an area of strength—multitasking—is actually a blind spot for you. Asking questions about your blind spots is not easy. If it was, every leader would do it, and we’d have more great leaders in the world. Since most blind spots are weaknesses that we thought were our areas of strength, you will be tempted to argue with the person who is giving you feedback. Don’t. Do not argue. Do not try to rationalize or excuse the behavior they are pointing out. If you’re told you get distracted too easily, don’t reply with, “But you don’t understand, I get so many emails and text messages that if I don’t reply right away, they get out of control and…blah blah blah.” You were brave enough to ask for feedback; now, have the courage to receive it. Making excuses sends a message that their opinion doesn’t count. They will be unlikely to ever give you honest feedback ever again. If you say anything other than “thank you,” it should sound like this. “Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the trust you have to tell me. I value what you’ve told me, and I’m going to give it some serious thought.” It took guts for them to tell you anything remotely negative. By saying thank you, you’re You were brave enough to ask for feedback; now, have the courage to receive it. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 170 validating their courage and showing you value their opinion. You’re not promising to change. Don’t make a promise you cannot keep. Once you become aware of your blind spots, the next step is to do something about them. Few leaders actively seek out knowledge of their own blind spots. Fewer still actually do something about it. I’m willing to bet the biggest gap in your life is the gap between what you know and what you do. The Know-Do Gap In chapter one, we discussed a simple scale for leaders, ranging from one to ten. What separates any leader from where they are currently on the scale and being a ten is the gap between what they know and what they do. So, let’s talk about the know and the do. This book was designed to increase your knowledge, your “know.”Hopefully, I’ve given you a basic education in leadership. Please go back through this book and highlight the sections that really spoke to you. Make notes to yourself, write in the margins, and then review your highlights and notes. Reading books like this one, taking courses, and listening to podcasts all increase your foundational knowledge. Having the knowledge of what to do is the first step. You must also understand how to put that knowledge into practice. So far, this is all theory. To be a great leader, you must put that theory into practice. The question is, will you go out and apply what you’ve learned here? Where too many leaders fail is when they know what to do, but don’t do it. To gain true understanding and master what you’ve learned, you have to apply your knowledge; you have to “do” leadership. Practice Where too many leaders fail is when they know what to do, but don’t do it. Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? 171 what you’ve learned. This book is not designed to be a “trophy” book that sits on your shelf. Complete the “Forging Your Leader Armor” activities at the end of each chapter. When you successfully apply what you’ve learned, it is a wonderful feeling. You will know because of the rush of DOSE chemicals you feel. It is like playing a round of golf and hitting that one fantastic drive: it keeps you coming back for more. You won’t be successful each time you try something new, and that’s okay, but you will grow with each experience. Please understand that growth does not happen by accident. To shrink the gap between what you know and what you do, you must be intentional about your growth and development. Many leaders take growth for granted. They assume growth will just happen naturally. You have to be conscious about developing your selfawareness. You must always be looking to see if you’ve fallen into the fundamental attribution error trap. I’ve had too many conversations with leaders and aspiring leaders who want everyone else to change but are not willing to grow and change themselves. Cops hate change, and they really hate the way things are. The only change you truly have control over is changing yourself. In his book As a Man Thinketh, James Allen wrote, “People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; therefore remain bound.”56 Don’t remain bound to where you are. The time to grow is now. Take action today. It doesn’t have to be a big step, but it needs to be a step forward. Leadership is a journey; it is a daily practice. Even if you get to the top of your leadership mountain, there’s always a larger one on the horizon. If you’ve reached the top and choose not to climb another, it’s time to go back down and help others climb up with you. By helping others to the top, you will make the greatest impact. Those you help climb will become your leadership legacy. Cops hate change, and they really hate the way things are. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 172 This Time Was Different. I Was Different. It was 6:00 a.m. on August 2, 2016, and already hot and humid. I was driving down a two-lane road that appeared to go right through the middle of a swamp outside of Gainesville, Florida. The road went on and on. I had not seen another car for miles. I felt lost and couldn’t help but think about the movie Deliverance. I finally arrived at the location, a nice little complex designed for corporate retreat meetings. I had been hired as a leadership consultant to meet with and evaluate the concerns of all the first-line supervisors, both sworn and civilian, in the Gainesville Police Department. The department had hired a new assistant chief, Terry Pierce, who quickly realized two things. One, the first-line supervisors were the most important and influential people in the agency. Two, they were not happy; there were some deep leadership issues in the department. He wanted to know what these issues were, and it was my job to find out. I had arrived early to set up the room, so I would have time to meet the attendees as they arrived. Most were cordial but reserved. I later found out they had not been told what the meeting was about, only that they were there to discuss the problems in the department. I was eyed suspiciously by each one as they walked in. After shaking my hand, one gentleman said, “So, you here to tell us everything we’re doing wrong?” “Not quite,” I replied. “As a matter of fact, I’m hoping you can tell me what’s wrong.” A brief look of surprise flashed across his face but was gone in an instant. He smiled and took a seat. We started right on time. After introducing myself, I explained my purpose for being there. “I’ve been asked to spend the next 7 hours and 53 minutes with all of you to come up with answers to two questions. What’s wrong with GPD? How do we fix it?” The day was spent in a productive conversation about the various leadership problems at all levels of their department. I submitted a final report to the assistant chief documenting all the issues brought up during the day and the solutions proposed by the group. A few months later, I was invited to come back to GPD to conduct leadership training with their department. Bridging the Gap; What Type of Leader Are You? 173 I have since made several trips to Gainesville. Like many other departments I’ve worked with, the members of GPD are dedicated to their profession and the community they serve. They were frustrated with communication, micromanaging, lack of consistency, low morale, internal bickering, and politics. If you work for any law enforcement agency, these issues will sound familiar to you. They were proud of their department but knew it could and should be better. Every sergeant and civilian manger I met, especially the assistant chief’s executive assistant, Deborah Hobbs, displayed a passion for learning and leadership. A week after returning from one of my trips, I got a voicemail on my phone. It was from Steven, one of the leadership class attendees. “Hey, what’s up, Ed! It’s Steven B. from Gainesville, from your leadership class. I was thinking about you, man. I gotta tell you, I just came out of a meeting, and wow, I applied that damn leadership stuff. I feel great! I really made an impact! Like you said, you gotta apply it and use it. I just wanted to share the good news with you. Give me a call back.” I smiled. I couldn’t help myself; the excitement and happiness in his voice were contagious. I called him back and listened to Steven as he told me about his recent experience. “I can’t believe what a difference it made. I remember a lot of what we talked about. I made an effort and applied what I learned. I listened, just like you said. I kept eye contact; I nodded my head. I used small encouragers like “um hum” and “tell me more.” I can’t believe what a difference it made when I kept my mouth shut and did more listening than talking. Hear me, Ed. I liked what I learned in class; I really did. But I wasn’t sure it would work, you know, in the real world. I kept hearing your voice, telling me the knowledge does no good unless it was used. This guy I met with, we usually butt heads, and nothing productive comes out. This time was different; I was different. We made huge progress and had a great outcome. I wanted to reach out and thank you.” It was so fulfilling to speak with Steven and hear him talk about what he did differently from his usual approach. He gained new knowledge from the class, the readings, and the discussion. He became aware of the gap between his knowledge and behavior. He embraced that gap and closed it by modifying his own behavior. He didn’t try to change the other guy; he changed. Where he achieved real success was through the application of conscious competence. I could not have been prouder of this man, this leader. Leader Armor for Law Enforcement 174 Chapter 10: Lessons Learned Great leaders learn to become self-aware. Self-awareness includes understanding yourself and knowing how others see you. The fundamental attribution error occurs when we see our own behavior in the most positive light, justifying our actions due to external circumstances; but we judge the behavior of others on their internal flaws of character or personality. The largest gap in our lives is when we know what to do but fail to do it. The time to grow is now. Take action today.