Verbal & Nonverbal Communication

• Verbal communication encompasses the content of what is said, its manifest meaning, and the vocabulary, grammar, and syntax used

• Nonverbal communication relates to how a message is conveyed, focusing on the process and latent meaning

Functions of Nonverbal Communication

• Providing information, helping regulate interaction, and defining the nature of relationships
• Facial expressions are recognized in under 1 second
• Display rules dictate culturally appropriate emotional expression, involving minimization, exaggeration, neutralization, or masking
• Tone, eye contact, and body language facilitate communication
• Relationships can be understood through nonverbal behavior
• Moods and meanings are often evident in nonverbal behavior
• Subtle nonverbal cues facilitate smooth turn-taking in conversations
• Nonverbal actions express intimacy and convey power or status

Interpersonal Influence & Impression Management

• Interpersonal influence refers to goal-oriented behaviors designed to influence others
• Impression management is about manipulating behavior to create or enhance an image

Components of Nonverbal Communication

• Facial expressions serve as a key component
• Gazing behavior, including direction and amount, is also significant, influencing interest, affection, dominance, and status
• High-status individuals use a higher Visual Dominance Ratio (look-speak/look-listen)
• People look at partners more when listening (60% of the time) than when speaking (40%), with high-dominance individuals deviating from this norm

Interpersonal Distance

• Zones of interpersonal distance vary: intimate (family, close friends), personal (friends, acquaintances), social (professional), and public (formal interactions)
• North Americans prefer larger personal spaces compared to other cultures
• Sex and status impact distance: men use larger distances than women, and people stand further from those of higher status

Mimicry and Nonverbal Sensitivity

• Women are generally better encoders and decoders, and good encoders send clear messages, while good decoders interpret them accurately
• Physical mimicry involves mirroring body posture and movements, fostering liking
• Accuracy in reading nonverbal cues predicts marital happiness, with poor communicators being less satisfied - often attributed to males

Sex and Communication Factors

• The amygdala, influenced by hormones, processes fear, triggers aggression, action, and competitiveness, thereby alerting one to danger
• The amygdala is larger in men and has testosterone receptors, thus explaining male competitive behavior
• Men and women respond differently to fear signals from the amygdala, eliciting a "fight or flight" reaction
• Women's hormones based on the evolution of their brains tell them the way to safety is to gather in a group
• Women can reduce stress and promote a feeling of safety by connecting

Prefrontal Cortex

• The prefrontal cortex is the decision-making, executive center of the brain responsible for overseeing emotional information and regulating the amygdala.
• The prefrontal cortex is larger and matures faster in women
• Combined with lower testosterone and more estrogen, this helps women seek solutions to conflict, even through compromise

Rational Decision-Making

• The anterior cingulate cortex, which weighs options for rational decision-making, is larger in women and is labeled the "worrywart" center
• Anxiety is four times more common in women

Brain Hemispheres

• The left hemisphere deals with language, verbal abilities, and logical processing
• The right hemisphere deals with visual, spatial information, abstract thinking, and emotional responses
• The corpus callosum connects both hemispheres, being thicker in women as it enables greater integration
• Women use both brain sides for processing visual and verbal information and for emotional experiences
• Men use the right side for spatial skills and the left for verbal ones
• Brain organizational differences between men and women impact task efficiency
• The hippocampus, the center for learning, memory, and emotion, is larger and more active in females

Estrogen In Women's Brain

• The hippocampus is estrogen-sensitive, processing memories into words
• Women have 11% more brain neurons than men in language and hearing centers
• Stronger connections between the brain hemispheres enable better expression, memory of emotional events, and communication
• Women use language to discuss feelings more efficiently

Men's Brain

• Men's brains are more specialized and have fewer connections, focusing more intensely

• Men using the right side process spatial skills more quickly than women

• Processing spatial info requires the use of both sides of their brains, emotional information and certain language skills take men longer

• Prenatal factors influence communication

• Dr. Louann Brizendine in (The Female Brain)

• Female babies exhibit more eye contact and facial gazing than male babies

• A one-year-old female will typically look at their mothers’ faces ten to twenty times more often than a one-year-old male baby

• Women are better at reading nonverbal communication skills than men

• Women have a better memory for facial expressions

• Due to gender differences that begin before birth, points out Louann Brizendine (author of The Female Brain)

• While in the womb their brains are washed with certain hormones: estrogen for female brains and testosterone for male brains

• Facial gazing skills increase by 400 within the first three months of life for those females

• A few differences between males and females

• Females’ language skills are lateralized across both hemispheres, their Corpus callosum is thicker, their hippocampus is larger, their anterior cingulate gyrus and their prefrontal cortex

• Males’ language skills are in their left hemisphere, are more compartmentalized, have greater visual spatial skills and a more sensitive amygdala as it pertains to testosterone, the prefrontal cortex matures somewhat later in males

High Openers

• People that engender more levels of self-disclosure from others, typically are more attentive, look interested, and verbally express more interest
• Mark Bowden explains in a video that body language can tell us within a second if the person is a friend or foe

Social Penetration Theory

• Altman and Taylor explore the process of self-disclosure which involves intentionally sharing personal information about oneself

• Communication choices should be done judiciously

• One should be aware of both positive and negative consequences

• One should also consider how the information will be received

• When discussing “sexual consent and a healthy ‘YES’”

• One should verbally agree and communicate any changes with phrases if needed

• Use physical cues for comfort

• Do not feel guilty, be confident and do not pressure the other

• Rather than trying improve feelings of a poor relationship, it is an expression of how you are feeling

• Discuss contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and conception

• You can always withdraw consent if you feel uncomfortable

• You should clearly communicate with your partner

• D.O.J. defined rape as: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of said victim”

• Someone cannot give consent if they are under the legal age, if they have a mental incapacitation due to drugs or if they are unconscious (N.C. Gen. Stat. Ann. § 14-27.4)

Nonverbal Sensitivity

• Couples' ability to communicate nonverbally, predicts how their relationship will be

• Poor communicators are likely to be unsatisfied or and divorced, and typically is caused by the male

• Factors also include: if they are developmentally disabled, relationship between victim or perpetrator, or vulnerable adults

• One should not excuse it as flirting or previous permissions

• For Couples Communication and Sensitivity

• In an unhappy marriage, the husbands send more confusing messages and make more encoding errors in comparison to a happy relationship

• And *No effect on wives

• For the differences with gender disclosure:

• Women withhold when they perceive they will be uncaring, encourage others and are more open ended

• Men withhold when they perceive they will emotional and/or dominant

Communication Issues

• When there is dysfunctional communication there can be the “kitchen sink” effect

• Bringing in a whole range of topics at one

• Happy couples meet each other in the middle when there is conflict

• They meet Gottman’s expectations with addressing small things

• There is mind reading, interruption and resistance

• They score and filter

• They offer resistance causing frustration

• Sources of conflict: gender roles, loyalty, sex, money, power, privacy, children, how you deal with others (attachment types), etc

• Alman and Taylors’ “social dagger” states that as relationships, the breadth of convos deteriorates focusing on partners flaws

Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

• Criticism

• Contempt

• Defensiveness

• Stonewalling

• Couples poorly matched typically find themselves divorced within the early years

• For marriages that last 14 years they find themselves divorce and grow apart

• The higher the prevalence of relationship characteristics, the more likely it is that the couple will be in trouble

• There are spikes in Gottman divorces, mainly at 3rd or 14th year

• For communication issues it has to do with : nonverbal for expressive people and verbal for expressive ones

• Communication goals include: developing ways to interact that aren't judgmental or punitive

• Attribution, resolving conflicts, show you respect their opinion (Validation)

Being a Good Communicator

• Explain how YOU are feeling -"I" statement
• Say what you need SPECIFICALLY to feel that the problem is resolved.
• Be honest, but kind, stay CALM
• Do not view communication as a battle to be won.
• Keep in perspective the problem
• ”I” Statements for communication
• Listen actively, give advice and offer concrete help

For interpersonal power relationship there is a resource theory

• Suggests whoever has more resources is in line to have more power

• There are a few power process for the demanders/withholders

• There are power struggles when divided

• For Social Exchange theory marital trade offs should remain

• Rewards are great full things in the relationship

• Costs happen as a result of not

• The outcome is the remaining

Interdependence

• Is how we expect from the relationship as well as what we can do

• There is a couple theory: evaluate the outcomes we receive with two criteria: What we expect from our relationships, and how well we think we can do with other partners

• A perception of what we expect should remain the same with influences from external friends/family

• Investment: the costs and benefits of leaving the relationship

• A relationship should maintain balance and equal good and positive to describe it as good

For friend relationships

• A lot of it has to do with sharing and listening

• There should be sensitive approach with others

• Friendship may also serve as a buffer against unpleasant experiences

• Attachment theorists identify four components of attachment:

• Teenagers' relationship rely a lot on social media whether its negative or not it does keep them connected

• Most of the time it does result in better relations

• The biggest impact of life satisfaction that stems from it is social comparison in the end of the day

• And with the over saturation it can result in loneliness

• Because of that it can make relationships difficult

• There is a lot of pressure and shyness

• You see people’s best and feel like you're not good often or see the bad and it can be tough

• For Facebook you are able to be controlled and have those needs

• And its what’s best to initiate some relations

• Men seem to need women more often and women can get those emotional support from family

• And finally pets can fill the need for companionship