Distress Tolerance Skills - VIDEO 27 - QUIZ

The Power of Self-Compassion

• The speaker's favorite topic is self-compassion, which she discovered during a difficult period in her life.

• Self-compassion involves treating oneself with the same kindness, care, and tenderness shown to a good friend.

• The speaker asks the audience to consider how they treat their friends versus how they treat themselves when struggling.

• Self-compassion entails kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

• The kindness component involves treating oneself like an inner ally rather than an inner enemy.

• The common humanity component involves remembering that imperfection is part of the human experience and that moments of suffering unite us.

• The mindfulness component involves noticing and acknowledging one's emotions and experiences without judgment.

• Self-compassion is a powerful way of improving well-being and helping oneself when needed most.

• Compassion for others and self-compassion share the same feeling of compassion, which is a desire to alleviate suffering.

• Self-compassion involves an action component of comforting and self-soothing, asking oneself what is needed, and providing it.

• Self-compassion applies to all forms of emotional pain, big or small.

• Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and research shows that it has numerous benefits for mental health and well-being.The Importance of Self-Compassion: Understanding the Three Key Components

• Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, recognizing common humanity, and being mindful of one's experiences.

• Treating oneself with kindness involves being understanding and supportive during times of struggle or difficulty.

• Recognizing common humanity involves understanding that challenges and difficulties are a normal part of the human experience and can bring people together.

• Being mindful of one's experiences involves being aware of and accepting the present moment, even when it is uncomfortable or unpleasant.

• Mindfulness requires balance and equanimity, avoiding getting lost in dramatic storylines or over-identifying with one's suffering.

• Lack of self-compassion can lead to negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, and discomfort.

• The physical gesture of a tightly clenched fist can evoke feelings of self-criticism and isolation.

• The physical gesture of open hands raised to the ceiling can evoke feelings of peace and acceptance.

• The physical gesture of arms in front of the body can evoke feelings of warmth and embracing others and their experiences.

• Placing hands over the center of the heart can evoke feelings of warmth and connection to oneself and one's emotions.

• Practicing self-compassion can lead to a more open heart, greater connection to others, and a sense of peace and acceptance.

• Self-compassion is a process of relating to oneself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, even during times of difficulty or struggle.

The Power and Misconceptions of Self-Compassion

• Self-compassion is a form of emotional warmth and kindness towards oneself.

• Culturally, society in the West tends to warn against self-compassion and view it as weak or selfish.

• Research shows that self-compassion is strongly linked to psychological well-being, including less anxiety, depression, and stress.

• Self-compassion is also linked to positive states of mind, such as happiness, life satisfaction, and optimism.

• Self-compassion is not selfish or narcissistic, but rather a stable source of self-worth that is not contingent on social comparison.

• Self-compassion is a powerful source of coping and resilience, making individuals more motivated, less afraid of failure, and more likely to take responsibility for their mistakes.

• Self-compassion is not self-indulgent, but rather linked to healthier behaviors such as exercise and healthy eating.

• Childhood experiences, particularly secure attachment and loving parents, strongly influence an individual's level of self-compassion.

• Individuals with abuse histories tend to struggle with self-compassion the most.

• The Mindful Self-Compassion Program is an eight-week workshop that teaches individuals how to be more self-compassionate in their daily life, with significant research showing lasting improvements in self-compassion and psychological well-being.

• Informal practices, such as responding with kindness to oneself during times of suffering, can also help cultivate self-compassion.

• Self-compassion is not a weakness, but rather a powerful tool for improving one's mental health and overall well-being.Self-Compassion Meditation Practice for Dealing with Emotional Struggles

• The practice is designed to be used on the spot anytime one needs it.

• The three elements of self-compassion are used to respond in a new way to challenges or difficulties.

• A real-life challenge or difficulty is required to perform the practice, which may be a work issue, a relationship issue, or a health issue.

• It is advised not to choose an overwhelmingly difficult problem, but something that is a challenge but not overwhelmingly difficult, like a four on a scale of one to ten.

• Mindfulness is used to turn toward and acknowledge the emotional pain present by using the phrase, "This is a moment of suffering."

• The second phrase is, "Suffering is a part of life," reminding oneself of our common humanity.

• The last phrase is, "May I be kind to myself," and one is invited to put their hands on their heart or body in some way that feels supportive and caring.

• Language that expresses kindness and tenderness is used, like calling oneself by their own name or sweetheart.

• The practice uses a mini-meditation technique to help go inside oneself and respond in a new way to challenges or difficulties.

• Closing one's eyes may help to go inside oneself and not worry about people looking at them as they perform the practice.

• The practice is useful in dealing with emotional struggles and can be performed anytime one needs it.

• Language that speaks to oneself can be used instead of the phrases suggested if they do not work for them.

Understanding Self-Compassion: Benefits and Applications

• Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and supportive towards oneself in times of suffering or difficulty.
• It is different from self-esteem, which is based on evaluation and comparison, and can be unstable and damaging.
• Self-compassion is positively linked to mental and physical health, including lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress, and higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being.
• Self-compassion is also associated with better relationships, including more empathy, forgiveness, and intimacy.
• Shame and guilt are two related but distinct emotions. Shame is focused on the self as being bad or flawed, while guilt is focused on the behavior or action being wrong or harmful.
• Self-compassion is positively linked to guilt and the disposition to apologize and make amends for mistakes, which can be healthy and productive.
• Self-compassion can be taught through mindfulness practices, such as meditation, but can also be practiced through simpler techniques, such as the self-compassion break.
• Self-compassion can be beneficial for various populations, including healthcare workers, teachers, and individuals with chronic illnesses, such as diabetes.
• Institutions and workplaces can promote self-compassion by creating a culture of safety and support, encouraging communication and common humanity, and integrating self-compassion training into education and training programs.
• Modeling self-compassion and warmth towards oneself can be an effective way to teach self-compassion to children and teenagers.
• Self-compassion and loving-kindness are related concepts, but self-compassion is more focused on the context of suffering and holding suffering and love together.
• Cultivating self-compassion involves developing a habit of speaking to oneself in a kind and supportive way, which can feel strange at first but can become a natural habit over time.