15 Questions
What is the result of applying the strategy of Aggression + Principle = Conviction to a person doing the wrong thing?
It makes the negative person seek your approval
What is the outcome of standing on principle?
The negative person is forced to face the consequences
What is the benefit of operating from principle?
It creates the possibility for change
What does the principle 'root for you or root against you' achieve?
It gets the opponent to change their behavior or leave
How does Frank approach Mike?
He sincerely lists Mike's talents and contributions, then delivers the bad news
What is the outcome of Frank's conversation with Mike?
Mike is thankful for the honest feedback and changes his behavior
What does the usable insight suggest?
You can't afford to work with someone you root against
What is the first action step recommended?
Take out a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the center
What is the key to the principle of 'root for you or root against you'?
Looking for something to value in the negative person
What does Frank's tone reveal?
His regret at the prospect of Mike leaving the company
When you apply the strategy of Aggression + Principle = Conviction, it triggers resentment and defensiveness in other people.
False
Operating from principle allows you to see your antagonists in a more negative light.
False
The principle of 'root for you or root against you' is used to attack the negative person's intelligence and forthrightness.
False
Mike's negative behavior was due to his lack of experience and incompetence.
False
The company's growth was hindered after Mike's departure.
False
Study Notes
Tolerance and Confrontation
- Tolerance is often viewed as a negative virtue, associated with merely enduring people or situations rather than actively addressing them.
Frank's Story
- Frank, a successful Silicon Valley entrepreneur, was unhappy in his job despite his outward success.
- He dreaded going to work due to his conflict with Mike, the CFO, who was perceived as grouchy and demanding.
- Frank's inability to confront Mike led to employee dissatisfaction, lost contracts, and a strained relationship with the board.
The Roots of Fear
- Frank's fear of confrontation stemmed from his childhood experiences with an abusive father, leading him to avoid confrontation and seek approval through achievement.
- This fear was transferred to his relationship with Mike, whom he perceived as a pseudo-father figure.
Confronting Negative People
- The key to confronting negative people is to focus on principle rather than aggression, which can lead to losing control and escalating conflicts.
- A replacement coping strategy can help individuals stand up for what they believe in without being consumed by anger or vindictiveness.
The "Root for You or Root Against You" Principle
- This principle involves finding something to honestly value in the negative person and using that as a lever to encourage change or departure.
- Frank applied this principle by highlighting Mike's strengths and experience, while also expressing his difficulties with Mike's behavior.
The Outcome
- Mike responded positively to Frank's honest feedback and acknowledged his need to change.
- The confrontation led to positive changes in Mike's behavior, and Frank was able to remain in his job and lead the company to further growth.
Tolerance and Confrontation
- Tolerance is often viewed as a negative virtue, associated with merely enduring people or situations rather than actively addressing them.
Frank's Story
- Frank, a successful Silicon Valley entrepreneur, was unhappy in his job despite his outward success.
- He dreaded going to work due to his conflict with Mike, the CFO, who was perceived as grouchy and demanding.
- Frank's inability to confront Mike led to employee dissatisfaction, lost contracts, and a strained relationship with the board.
The Roots of Fear
- Frank's fear of confrontation stemmed from his childhood experiences with an abusive father, leading him to avoid confrontation and seek approval through achievement.
- This fear was transferred to his relationship with Mike, whom he perceived as a pseudo-father figure.
Confronting Negative People
- The key to confronting negative people is to focus on principle rather than aggression, which can lead to losing control and escalating conflicts.
- A replacement coping strategy can help individuals stand up for what they believe in without being consumed by anger or vindictiveness.
The "Root for You or Root Against You" Principle
- This principle involves finding something to honestly value in the negative person and using that as a lever to encourage change or departure.
- Frank applied this principle by highlighting Mike's strengths and experience, while also expressing his difficulties with Mike's behavior.
The Outcome
- Mike responded positively to Frank's honest feedback and acknowledged his need to change.
- The confrontation led to positive changes in Mike's behavior, and Frank was able to remain in his job and lead the company to further growth.
This quiz explores the concept of tolerance and its relation to success, featuring quotes from E.M. Forster and a story about a Silicon Valley CEO.
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