Relationships, Health & Attachment Styles

Relationships and Health / Wellbeing

• Stable and supportive relationships foster a sense of belonging and connection.
• These relationships can lower the intensity of stressful situations.
• Stable relationships encourage better physical health between partners.
• Supportive relationships also promote personal growth.
• Dysfunctional and conflictual relationships can lead to rejection and grief.
• These relationships can create loneliness and possible psychological issues.
• They can also limit personal growth.
• Further, they create insecurities with attachment and worry.

Attachment Theory

• Humans are born with a working model that stores knowledge about relationships, developed by Bowlby (1969).
• The individual model expands through learning from people such as parents, siblings, family, peers and colleagues.

Attachment Styles

• Secure attachment involves being emotionally close to others.
• Securely attached people are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them.
• Secure individuals do not worry about being alone or unaccepted.
• Anxious attachment style is defined by wanting to be emotionally intimate.
• Someone with anxious attachment feels that other people are reluctant to get close.
• They are generally uncomfortable without close relationships.
• They worry that others do not value them.
• Avoidant attachment is characterized by comfort without close relationships.
• It is also defined by valuing independence and self-sufficiency.
• Someone with avoidant attachment prefers not to depend on others or have others depend on them.
• Attachment style system centers around mapping interactions with other people via a cognitive infrastructure.
• Attachment styles are on two axes, avoidance and anxiety.
• In stressful times, attachment systems activate and create actions of affection, cognition, and behavior.

Types of Support

• Action-facilitating support provides information through advice, suggestions, and planning.
• Tangible support offers help and alternative assistance.
• Nurturant support increases esteem by complimenting partners, offering encouragement, and giving praise.
• Emotional support is shown through empathy and expressions of love, affection, and care.
• Negative support involves blame, minimizing, invalidation, and controlling behaviors.

Effective Social Support

• Includes fitting the needs of the individual.
• Includes asking if they would like help or support.
• Provide options.
• Do not offer too much support.
• Too much support can threaten self-esteem, be intrusive and increase feelings of debt.

Invisible Support

• It is undetected, and not directly noticed by the recipient.
• May support recipient by preventing a burden such as cleaning the house.
• Invisible support is not interpreted as overt support.
• Offering advice or relating to a time a person had a similar problem does not count.
• On days where no support was provided, there was a greater increase in depression the following day.
• When recipients reported no support (invisible), there was a reduction in depression the following day.
• Depression is dependent on whether they perceived they had support, with visible support not changing depression.

Support Positives and Negatives

• Using too much support can increase the amount of support needed in the future.
• It can also increase the reliance on support.
• The reliance on support can cause feelings of incompetence, feeling like a burden and feeling indebted.
• Visible support is beneficial when the person is in distress.
• It is not beneficial when the person is low in distress.

Benefits of Invisible Support

• Invisible support increased the likelihood of positive goal achievement over time.
• It plants the seed for achievement, allows recipient to have ownership and considers individual's emotions.
• This boosts self-efficacy and avoids indebtedness.

Dangers of Invisible Support

• Recipients do not get the benefits of visible support such as responsiveness or reaction.
• It may be considered as not caring, which can undermine relationships.
• Further, it makes the person feel like they should not ask for support.
• It also withholds needed action-oriented help and can feel uncared for.

Dynamics of Toxic Emotional Behaviors

• Criticism involves attacking a partner's character or critiquing the person rather than the behavior
• Criticism leads to exaggerated comments, such as "You're always..." or "You never..."
• Contempt can be shown through disrespect, mockery, eye rolling and sarcasm.
• Defensiveness includes not accepting responsibility or change.
• Defensiveness may also involve rejecting, looking for excuses, or trying to reverse blame.
• Stonewalling happens when changing the conversation, ignoring the problem partner, doing other activities and shutting down.
• 93% of couples displaying these behaviors were divorced in the following 14 years.

Relationship Conflict

• It causes psychological and physical health issues such as depression and lower satisfaction.
• It may also lead increases in bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, drugs.

Causes of Relationship Conflict

• Poor communication and time spent together (too much or little) contribute.
• Finances, chores, children, emotional intimacy and sex can cause conflict.
• Power imbalances, relatives, work, friends and jealousy influence conflict.
• Drugs, alcohol and addictions are causes of conflict.

Marital Interaction Coding Scheme (MICS)

• Hostility involves putting down partner, criticism and negative mind-reading.
• Non-verbal gestures of disgust also represent hostility.
• Such as eye-rolling, shaking head and screwing up face.
• Invalidation occurs with disagreement, denying responsibility, non-compliance with requests and interrupting a partner.
• Withdrawal tactics include avoiding a partner, closing off, non-response, glazed eyes and physical distancing.
• Constructive problem solving involves describing problem in a simple, neutral and friendly manner.
• Constructive actions involves proposing solutions and compromise.
• Validation includes agreeing, approving, responsibility and complying.
• Facilitation includes humor, smiling and maintaining eye contact.

Conflict Spectrum

• Negative conflict includes hostility and invalidation as well as criticizing and blaming to demanding change.
• Positive conflict includes validation, facilitation, limiting negative reactions.
• Positively, it also expresses love, affirmation and affection as well as humor trust and optimism.
• Relationships involve two people; effects depend on how both partners respond.

Dyadic Patterns of Conflict

• Negative behavior, when responded to by negative behavior, results in negative reciprocity.
• Patterns of negative reciprocity filter through to future interaction which creates a snowball effect.
• Demand involves attempts to discuss the problem, emotional engagement in the discussion.
• Blame involves accusing or criticizing the partner.
• There are character assassinations and pressures for change.
• Withdrawal involves avoiding and hesitating to discuss.
• One may change topics, divert attention, and delay discussion.
• Withdrawal includes becoming silent, refusing to discuss and looking away to disengage.
• The interaction patterns impact communication in these relationships.
• These dyadic patterns are important to determine the impact of communication.
• In addition to negative behavior, the behavior responding to it is relevant.

Ways people respond to conflict and negative behavior

• Loyalty describes a scenario is constructive and passive.
• Voice is constructive and active.
• Neglect is destructive and passive.
• Exit is destructive and active.
• Exit includes active abuse, threatening and screaming as well as ending the relationship.
• Neglect includes ignoring a partner, spending less time together and avoiding discussions.
• Voice involves discussing problems and suggesting solutions.
• It also includes urging a partner to change (not just verbally).
• Loyalty includes waiting, hoping and supporting the partner in the face of criticism.
• Negative reciprocity is associated with hostility and invalidation.
• Demand and withdraw is associated with withdrawal.
• De-escalation and repair attempts are associated with validation and facilitation as well as constructive problem-solving.

Relationship Dynamics

• In the long-term, negative direct responses can be positive in a relationship.
• Positive indirect can often lead to poor outcomes in a relationship.
• In short, relationships involve two people, and its effects are dyadic; effects depend on the partners' response.

Why negative direct may be good in the long run.

• Positive indirect involves restraining negative reactions, expressing love, and downplaying the problem.
• Short-term, indirectness reduces conflict, but long-term, it fails to motivate change.
• Negative direct expresses anger to impress the need for change.
• Short-term, defensiveness may increase, but long-term, efforts to change occur.
• In the long term, negative directions do predict relational satisfaction.

Pushing for vs responding to change

• An agent of change pushes for improvement, and a target of change responds to those efforts.
• Guilt induction, a negative indirect strategy, is used by exaggerating hurt or lack of power.
• This appeals to obligations and induces guilt.
• The goal is to prompt reassurance and motivate the partner to show that they care.

Communication Strategies:

• Negative Directs such as serious issues, produce progress.
• If it is disproportionate to problem severity it can be harmful.
• Negative Indirects such as inducing success can reduce insecurity.
• It can be harmful if closeness is avoided or obligations are ignored which resists change.
• Positive Indirect benefits reduced reaction in defensiveness.
• When problems are addressed, or the issue is minor positives can be beneficial.
• If series problems remain unaddressed, behavior is harmful and problematic.
• Positive communication is usually beneficial

The managing of relationships

• Negative needs the ability to address issues without harm.
• It can inflict harm when partners lack responsibility.
• With a strong relationship more positive actions or a better process occur.
• If that is not available you still need to adjust communications to build a better relationship.

Conflict Management: Fighting Dynamics

• When fighting, it is bad to want to win by playing offensively and defensively.
• It is considered "fair" to mutually agree to a solution.
• This involves complaining, but not criticizing.
• Further, it uses "I" language which includes stating how another person makes you feel..
• Documentation, honesty, editing, and meta communication are essential.
• One must communicate about communication using limited choices to get the problem addressed.
• Build the emotional state to accumulate small positive moments, use active listening skills and validation.
• The Magic Ratio is 5 positive things to 1 negative thing.

The Paths Model, Racism and Media

• It is a model for social psychology to make real world changes
• P is for problem
• A is for analysis
• T is for test
• H is for help
• S is for success

How to properly diagnose a problem in a new process

• 1, you need to identify the problem
• 2, you need to ask if it is a problem.
• 3, you need to know who it effect
• 4, you need know the causes
• 5, you need a target group
• 6 , you ask how to address it

There are two phases to consider in analysis

• Outcome, as a target to be influenced by an explanation and be relevant or continuous.
• Be divergent to explain as much as possible that is free and wide.

Racism

• Discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race/ethnicity.
• Individual prejudice that comes from a group.
• Expressed attitude from many factors that take range forms. -A form of prejudice that includes stereo types.

Types of racism

• Overt are recognizable as racism and happen intentionally as hate crimes.
• Covert are not easily recognizable as micro aggressive and brutal on minorities.

Things to consider when in the testing phase

• Distal factors that dont show effect.
• Medial that change results quickly.
• Make a model to show it as a process to know all factors of the process to see if they are in a good relation

Consideration for intervention

• What you plan to implement social with specifics in a non random format.
• If concerned about behaviors that follow through with the most direct explanation, and the direction to the relation.

Implementing Model

• Social reasons for categories and if innately label.
• Need power status in society.

Steps for using paths

• Success based on effect.

Path to knowledge

• Media is known for suppressing minorities controlled by dominate groups.
• Racist attitude makes people with negative views keep them up.

Racism in models must have

• Lack to care.
• Mails
• Force that direct the problem
• Finding who to blame with a political reason.

Sexism

• Prejudice based on a non-changing reason.

Types

• Hostile sexism is directed at putting down.
• Benevolent is painting it to be a positive with no negative views.

Hostile sexism in described with

• Overt attitude against statements
• Agreement in views to discriminate with
• A positive goal challenged to easily benefit those in power.

Sexist attitude against

• Traditional view that wants protection.
• If they say woman must get married, and not be in a position equal or better.
• Say the must be more sense able than man and everyone must cherish each other.

Why is Sexist Ambidextrous

• People agree or disagree or have mix views.
• Those that agree disagree at some point.

Power used by the man

• Those the want to be the dominate with some form reason get defensive.

Sum of ideologies

• Two set of ideology against woman with power.
• Believe they should serve the man in social terms.

Manosphere

• Group of online communities with ideology on sexism but believe their is another side.

Sum of ideas that appeals to social

• In zero the threat creates more threat to more gains
• For those wronged want retribution.
• It gives those high in a community get more power than being vulnerable.

Love

• Physical connection with constant
• Not sharing your thoughts but trying new things That exist in animal with constant intimacy because you want to reproduce

Myths of Intamancy

• There is a limited amount
• We must protect other
• There must be jealousy if these is a problem all are resolved with communication.

What are all of these are for

• Sexual behavior with those to get you more from hormones when you see someone more
• You show someone because you have feelings and you show them in the world with money and love
• What gets in the way is raising kid prejudice,s stigma, and revenge.

Sex Norms

• Men have high numbers in there frequency
• It can have difference and be fluid in society. The only gender and risk are what defines their behaviors.

What is good and what makes it good?

• Communication needs to be consistent and enthusiastic.
• If you try to give information or try to bring up different views there is something to learn
• For good measure we use more love that can be expressed nonverbally.

What makes sex good?

• Consistent and quality communications what is expected.
• Sexual intimacy does not matter it is the want for well being.
• We cannot blame these reasons with all stress of economical needs.

What goes in is speculation the fact is?

• Social skills more often for all.
• More pressure That the idea of family and slow commitment has ruined it.

Divorce

• Over 50% the long for 4 years
• The need for what was
• Gender
• Political view points.

Social issues

• What makes us go to a bar to have better connections
• The fact we suffocate is what causes us more stress

A social connection

• Is what helps with grief.

With

You will go for what best