Qualities of Healthy Relationships

• Successful intimate relationships are often built on self-belief and trust in others.
• Willingness to share aspects like ideas, feelings, time, and needs is key, as is accepting what others offer.
• The relationship with oneself significantly impacts all other relationships.

Qualities of Healthy Relationships

• Psychologist Carl Rogers identified genuineness, empathy, and unconditional positive regard as crucial.
• Genuineness involves honest and accurate communication.
• Empathy is understanding and vicariously experiencing another person's feelings, regardless of personal views.
• Unconditional positive regard is accepting someone without judgment.
• Children raised with unconditional positive regard can realize their full potential.
• Those raised with conditional positive regard feel worthy only when meeting specific conditions set by others.

Self-Concept from Childhood

• Self-acceptance is fundamental for successful relationships.
• The roots of identity and self-worth lie in childhood relationships.
• Feeling loved, valued, accepted, and respected as children fosters trust and lovability.
• Appropriate responses to needs and freedom to explore individuality contribute to a positive self-concept.
• These conditions promote self-confidence for navigating life's challenges.

Gender Roles

• Gender roles, learned early in life, are culturally defined activities and characteristics for each biological sex.
• Cultural messages dictate appropriate behaviors, clothing, and interests for boys/men versus girls/women.
• Sex and gender differ; gender roles are cultural, varying significantly across cultures and not always binary.
• The gender binary is a colonial construct rooted in patriarchal societies.
• Two-Spirit: This term refers to the Indigenous-specific experience of gender roles and those who can walk in two worlds.
• A mismatch between assigned gender roles and individual preferences can cause societal problems.
• Beliefs persist that gender roles are divinely ordained or biologically determined.
• Traditional labor divisions, with men as providers and women as caretakers, are a recent invention in hierarchical societies.
• Women comprise nearly half the workforce in Canada, viewing careers as central to their lives.
• North American gender stereotypes lack biological basis and reflect Euro-Judeo-Christian ideology.
• Gendered behaviors change based on messages from caregivers and media, disproving inherent traits.
• Gendered communication styles exist, like adolescent girls using varied pitch and boys using monotone voices.
• Penelope Eckert states these differences are part of adolescents preparing to find a partner.
• Communication in gendered ways is learned as part of cultural gender roles.

Attachment

• Attachment styles formed in infancy with caregivers can influence adult relationships.
• Secure attachment leads to trusting, mutually satisfying intimate connections.
• Securely attached individuals find closeness easy, without fear of abandonment.
• Anxious/ambivalent attachment, from inconsistent care, results in clingy, dependent relationship patterns.
• Anxious/avoidant attachment, stemming from engulfing or abandoning care, causes discomfort with closeness and fear of dependence.
• Past experiences don't dictate future relationships; adolescence and adulthood offer chances to resolve conflicts.
• Resilience and flexibility enable people to change beliefs and behaviors.
• Improving self-esteem and communication skills are essential for successful relationships.
• Self-acceptance and emotional growth are key.

Nonsexual Intimate Relationships

• Close relationships develop beyond family with caregivers and teachers.
• Extended family plays a vital role emotionally and socially.
• Peer relationships shape understanding of human connections, teaching tolerance, sharing, and trust.
• Healthy friendships include: Companionship, respect, acceptance, help, trust, loyalty, mutuality, reciprocity

Love and Partnerships

• Intimate partnerships resemble friendships but include sexual desire, exclusiveness, and deeper caring.
• Friendships are often more stable due to differing expectations.
• Friendships provide emotional support and stress buffering.
• Love is a basic human emotion experienced intensely in families and diversely with others.
• It encompasses affection, anger, excitement, boredom, stability, change, bonds, and freedom.
• It provides life with greater meaning.
• Love, sex, and commitment are often linked in adult relationships.
• Love draws people together with trust, care, respect, and loyalty.
• Sex adds excitement and passion.
• Commitment ensures stability through responsibility, reliability, and faithfulness.
• Marriage was traditionally viewed as the only acceptable context for sex and procreation.
• Views on sex and marriage are evolving, relying on personal norms.
• Most Canadians view sex between an unmarried man and woman as morally acceptable.
• Engaging in sexual relationships and marriage are increasingly separate decisions.
• Same-sex marriage is increasingly accepted.
• Many couples use personal standards for decisions about sex.

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

• Psychologist Robert Sternberg defines love through intimacy, passion, and commitment.
• Intimacy involves attachment and connectedness.
• Passion includes motivational drives and sexual attraction.
• Commitment is the decision to remain together long-term.
• Relationships are more likely to endure when based on multiple dimensions.
• Gender may influence attitudes toward sexual intimacy.
• Men separate love from sex, while women view sex as an expression of intimacy.
• Cultural norms may shame women who pursue sex for pleasure.

Love

• Sex without love is an increasing trend.
• Intense love is characterized by fluctuating feelings.
• Emotions involve physiological arousal and an impetus for the arousal.
• Love creates arousal, as do fear, rejection, frustration, and challenge.
• Intense excitement can be unpleasant. Passion diminishes with time, which can be a relationship crisis.
• Commitment brings stability to relationships.
• Partners shift from absorption in each other to external goals.
• Satisfaction arises from the relationship and creative goals.
• Passion transforms into intimate love based on closeness and shared future.
• A challenge in marriage is maintaining passion while growing commitment.

Challenges in Relationships

• Challenges arise from diverse needs and backgrounds.
• Challenges relate to self-disclosure, commitment, expectations, competitiveness, and jealousy.
• Relationships offer companionship, love, emotional connection, and financial support.
• Experts suggest relationships play out dramas from childhood to resolve past problems.
• People unconsciously recreate relationships, hoping to satisfy unmet childhood needs.
• Problems reveal past frustrations and offer a path to growth.
• Cultivating multiple close relationships can compensate for a lack of love.
• Understanding intimacy and independence promote healthy connections.

Healthy Relationships

• Secure connection and individual space are key.
• Openness and understanding foster growth and potential.
• Love and compassion facilitate healing.
• Challenging fears in intimate relationships promotes freedom from the past.
• Honesty and openness are necessary for intimacy.
• Intimate familiarity is characteristic of successful relationships.

Emotional Intelligence

• Daniel Goleman argues emotional intelligence is vital for life.
• It includes self-awareness, self-discipline, and empathy.
• Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer define it as monitoring and using emotions.
• Mindfulness cultivates non-judgmental observation of emotions.
• Measured responses are possible through emotional awareness.
• Mindfulness is cultivated by paying attention, slowing down, and staying in the moment.
• Disciplining and focusing the mind improves relationships.

Relationship Problems

• Unequal commitment hurts feelings.
• Honest communication is essential for resolving commitment issues.
• Unrealistic expectations can damage a relationship which include believing a relationship will fulfill all needs.
• Demanding change from a partner is unfair.
• Assuming similar opinions and priorities is damaging.
• Disagreement on key issues is important, but differences can enhance a relationship.
• Autonomy and self-sufficiency are important.

Relationship Dynamics

• Competitiveness detracts from equality.
• Balancing time together and apart is key.
• Rejection of time apart can damage a relationship.
• Compromise is essential.
• Expectations of time spent together reflect emotional closeness.
• Giving up autonomy is required to develop as a couple.
• Not everyone has the same need for distance and closeness.
• Jealousy signals insecurity or possessiveness.
• Extreme jealousy can destroy a relationship.
• Jealousy is a factor in precipitating violence.
• Communication can help partners work through issues.

Support

• Social support and connectedness are essential.
• Meaningful relationships require providing and receiving support.
• Feeling like one belongs involves feeling valued.
• Assistance, care, encouragement, and understanding are critical.
• Social isolation during COVID-19 highlighted the importance of connectedness.
• Enhanced connectedness results in healthier relationships and less anxiety.
• The need to belong is universal.
• Focusing on common ground fosters connections.
• Expressing needs clearly promotes support.
• Contributing to relationships is vital.
• Meeting new people can enhance connectedness.
• Relationships require time and effort.

Unhealthy Relationships

• Post-secondary students report relationship difficulties.
• Unhealthy relationships are abusive or overly dependent.
• Women are more vulnerable to abuse.
• Abusive events hinder healthy relationships.
• The best relationship is one high in love and respect.
• Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal are communicative signs of unhealthy relationships.
• Recognition of one's role in creating and solving relationship problems is key.
• Unhealthy relationships stifle growth and joy.
• Unhappy relationships have negative physical consequences.
• Breaking up is better than enduring a toxic relationship.

Ending Relationships

• Breakups involve cycles of separation and reconciliation.
• Suggestions for easing the ending which include, be fair and honest, be tactful and compassionate
• Validate the worth of the relationship.
• Redirect attention to self and neglected areas.
• Avoid rebound relationships.

Communication

• Communication is key for maintaining relationships.
• Miscommunication causes frustration and distance.
• Non-verbal communication includes touch, eye contact, and proximity.
• Body language should match words to avoid mixed messages.
• Attunement is important for understanding the emotional state.
• Feelings during communication provide data about the speaker.
• Social media enables rapid communication.
• Social media can undermine interpersonal relations.
• High levels of social connectedness were reported both online and in person during the COVID-19 pandemic.
• Social media can be an advantage or disadvantage.
• Impulsive communication is a pitfall.
• Problems can include missing non-verbal cues and promoting idealized versions.
• Checking one's phone can detract from being present.
• There is a need to think carefully about what information shared on social media.

Communication Skills

• Self-disclosure increases closeness.
• Listening involves fully understanding others.
• Feedback acknowledges feelings.
• Non-verbal feedback shows interest.
• "I" statements take responsibility for feelings.
• Focus on specific behaviors.
• Make constructive requests.
• Avoid blaming, accusing, and belittling.
• Reflective listening clarifies understanding.
• Tune into feelings as well as words.
• Value and understand the message.

Conflict and Resolution

• Conflict is natural in relationships.
• Constructive handling is crucial and if not, conflict can damage the relationship.
• Family and cultural backgrounds influence conflict experience.
• Anger is a natural emotion that requires attention.
• Restraint is needed especially because a situation has the potential to become abusive
• Sources often revolve around finances, sex, children, and household
• Surface issues can be from power, authority, and gender roles.
• Strategies include, clarify the issue with each partner fully explaining, focus on the topic, determining what each person wants, determine how to negotiate, and a willingness to comprise.
• Agreements should be solidified and reviewed periodically.
• Partners must feel safe to voice disagreements.
• They must trust the process and refrain from insults
• Disagreements should be seen as a joint difficulty.
• Discussions should end on a positive note.

Pairing

• The concept of family is expanding.
• Cohabitation and singlehood are becoming common, as is divorce.
• Queer marriage has been legal across all of Canada since 2005.
• Polyamory, blended families, and non-kinship-based families are also examples of this.
• Studies show people partner with those in similar geographic areas.
• With similar racial ethnic socio-economic backgrounds, educational status, similar lifestyles.
• Also partnered with those similar perceived leveled of physical attractiveness.
• Personality and socioeconomic status become significant factors.
• Basic values and future aspirations are key.
• "How much do we have in common?" is an important question for potential mates and communication is key.

Dating

• Every culture has rituals for finding and choosing mates.
• Families played a role in selecting spouses historically.
• Arranged marriage is still a norm in many parts of the world.
• Potential spouses have a greater say in modern arrangements.

Family Life

• Family situations vary in Canada.
• The two-parent family is most common.

Becoming a Parent

• Few new parents are prepared for parenting.
• There is the complex process of learning what emotions the child is communicating
• The birth of the first child is stressful.
• Couples can slip into traditional marital roles.
• Both parents should participate equally in care.
• Mothers often make greater changes in their lives.
• Marital satisfaction declines after the birth of the first child and those on parental leave may feel cut off and those who split the duties will have more satisfaction.

Parenting

• Sometimes, being a parent is a source of unparalleled pleasure and pride while a lot of the time it can seem overwhelming

Parenting Styles

• The parenting style overall approach to parenting the
• Parenting styles vary according to how parents approach discipline, supervision, and expectations.
• Responsiveness is parents' warmth and intent to facilitate independence.
• Styles are
• Authoritarian (high in demandingness, low in responsiveness)
• Authoritative (high in both demandingness and responsiveness)
• Permissive (high in responsiveness, low in demandingness)
• Uninvolved (low in both demandingness and responsiveness)

Childrens Temperment

• Every child has a tendency toward certain moods or ways of reacting: a particular temperament but they can also be extremely adaptable such as dandelions and ones that thrive much better with direct support such as orchids
• Children's temperaments, or personalities, are influenced by family and community circumstances and cultures also affect individual temperaments.
• "Optimal attunement" involves closeness without engulfment or abandonment.
• Consistent care leads to internalizing support.

Parenting Family Dynamics.

• Balanced limits, structure, warmth, respect, and nurturance are best.
• Relationships change at each stage of the family life cycle.

Parenting dynamics

• Single parenthood is increasingly common, often with mothers.
• Economic difficulties can be substantial.
• Satisfying personal needs can be difficult and research on effect on children is inconclusive.
• Family and social networks ease demands and educational level and financial resources of parents along with the quality of their relationships are the most important factors in determining the children's well-being.

Two Parent Families

• Two-parent families are not necessarily better.
• Extended families supporting single parents.

Stepfamilies

• Stepfamilies/Blended Families single parenthood is often a transitional stage .
• More than one in four adults in Canada were in subsequent relationships.
• Therapy can help everyone and adjust to living together can take years..
• It also depends on the ages of children.
• Support is necessary for the kids maintain the prior relationships.
• Stepfamilies may find it difficultherepeuthe emotions of relationships of a primary family stepfamilies gradually gain more of a sense of being a family

Successful Families

• Successful Families not without it challenges.
• A strong family copes successfully with crises
• Successful families are intentionally connected.
• Developing family rituals builds strong ties.
• Regular routines and rituals result more healthier children
• Common routines are dinnertime.
• Common rituals birthday's etc. and researchers find that are seven major characteristics of strong families
• and they are , Commitments to the family.
• Appreciation is shown for one another.
• Communication is there.
• Time spent together is key
• Spiritual wellness is a factor
• Coping with Stress and affection are needed such as hugs .