Military Family and Wartime Deployment

The Family and Wartime Deployment

• Deployment is a major stressor for military families.
• It can disrupt routines, support systems and emotional well-being.

Common Family Struggles

• Loss of companionship and shared parenting can occur.
• The risk of divorce may increase.
• There can be higher rates of spousal and child maltreatment.
• Family members may experience increased depression and anxiety.

Potential Growth After Deployment

• Increased independence and resilience can result.
• Partners may develop greater appreciation for each other.
• Families might emerge stronger and more emotionally united.

L-DAM Acronym for Key Impacts

• L: Loss of companionship
• D: Divorce risk
• A: Abuse/maltreatment risk increases
• M: Mental health issues (depression, anxiety)

Phases of the Deployment Cycle

• Deployment occurs in three phases, each with distinct challenges.

Pre-Deployment Phase

• Begins with the announcement of deployment and ends when the service member departs.
• Common stressors during this phase include tension, protest, emotional distancing or "psychological absence" and anxiety about the upcoming separation.

Deployment Phase

• This is the period of active separation.
• Families may experience emotional disorganization including sadness, anger and loneliness.
• Slow adjustment to a “new normal” can occur.
• There may be mixed feelings during brief visits during rest and recuperation leave.

Reunion Phase

• Begins when the service member returns home.
• Emotions shift to joy, relief, and stress.
• Families have to re-negotiate roles and routines.
• They may need to adapt to a partner who may be psychologically distant.
• Rebuilding a sense of normalcy is important.

Deployment Cycle Memory Tip

• Pre-Deployment involves anticipatory stress.
• The Deployment phase involves emotional disruption.
• The Reunion phase involves reintegration challenges.

Key Resources for Coping and Adapting

• Flexible gender roles by sharing or switching responsibilities.
• Family coherence by having a sense of unity and shared missions.
• Maintain Open communication.
• Share family values.
• Utilize strong support systems like friends, extended family, and counseling.
• Utilize Active coping strategies like journaling, routines, and therapy.

Long-Distance Relationship - Pros

• Intentional communication is increased.
• There is a deeper emotional connection.
• Appreciation and independence are greater.
• Scheduled check-ins and shared rituals maintain closeness.

Long-Distance Relationship - Challenges

• There is a lack of physical presence.
• Miscommunication and misunderstandings can occur.
• The relationship is at risk of emotional drifting.

CAREs Acronym for Long-Distance Families

• C: Communication
• A: Active coping
• R: Resources (support systems)
• E: Emotionally flexible roles
• S: Shared values

Breast Cancer and Families

• Breast cancer is considered a "family disease".
• The emotional strain extends beyond the patient to partners, children, relatives, and female relatives.
• Partners take on new caregiving roles.
• Children and relatives experience fear, sadness, and uncertainty.
• Female relatives worry about their own health risks.
• It causes both Acute shock and chronic stress.
• There is emotional upheaval at diagnosis.
• There is lingering anxiety and long-term coping through lifestyle adjustments, even after treatment ends.

FIRM Acronym for Breast Cancer

• F: Family-wide impact
• I: Intense role shifts
• R: Risk worry
• M: Mental strain

Initial Diagnosis

• It can bring shock, fear, and sadness.
• It creates a "crisis mindset" for families facing mortality and uncertainty.

Treatment Period

• It creates loneliness and emotional exhaustion.
• It necessitates tough medical decisions.
• It can cause financial strain.
• Changes in body image, intimacy, and sexuality.
• Waiting for test results can cause high anxiety.
• It is difficult to discuss the diagnosis with others.

Post-Treatment

• It can bring a fear of recurrence.
• Frustration with physical limitations can occur.
• Pressure to "get back to normal" can add to stress.

Helpful Resources

• Strong social support from partners, friends, and survivor networks.
• Counseling or therapy.
• Open communication in the family.
• Sharing emotions instead of suppressing them.
• It is important to maintain honest conversations even when it's hard.

3 Ts + C Acronym for Resources

• Trauma at diagnosis
• Treatment struggles
• Trouble post-treatment
• Connectedness (support + communication)

Challenges for Spouse/Partner Caregivers

• A high risk of depression and anxiety can occur.
• Emotional needs often go unmet.
• There is social pressure to "be strong” and not complain.

Myths About Caregiving

• That "a good marriage is all you need".
• That "caregivers shouldn't express emotion”.
• That "you can contain your feelings for the patient's sake".

How to Thrive as a Caregiver

• Prioritize self-care, which is essential, not optional.
• Make time for rest, health, and mental well-being.
• Seek support and validation; you matter too.

Key Tools for Caregivers

• Use Silent, Attentive Listening – Let your partner talk without rushing to fix things.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions to invite deeper, honest conversations.

Transition to Parenthood - Big Picture

• Becoming a parent can be a "crisis" due to emotional overload, major life changes, and role confusion.

Positive Aspects of Parenthood

• Joy and bonding with the baby happens.
• A sense of purpose and growth is gained.

Negative Aspects of Parenthood

• Exhaustion and sleep deprivation occurs.
• There is emotional and financial stress.
• Loss of freedom or identity can happen.

Emotional Impact of Parenthood

• 13–27% of mothers experience postnatal depression.
• Fathers may feel left out, stressed, or depressed, although it's less talked about.

Life & Family Circumstances as Stressors

• Infertility, miscarriage, or premature birth can be stressors.
• Adoption (especially transracially) causes stress.
• Multiple births (twins, triplets, etc.) are a source of stress.

Parental-Level Stressors

• Being older or younger first-time parents.
• Unplanned pregnancies.
• Low income or limited education.

Child-Level Stressors

• Having a baby with colic, sleep issues, or excessive crying.
• Expectations based on baby’s sex.

Relationship-Level Stressors

• Increase in marital conflict.
• Less time for connection.
• Parenting disagreements.
• Role strain from unequal workload.

Maternal Gatekeeping Defined

• It is when moms restrict or control the father’s involvement in parenting.

Examples of Maternal Gatekeeping

• Criticizing how dad handles baby care.
• Redoing tasks he just did.
• Excluding him from decisions.

Why Maternal Gatekeeping Matters

• It occurs in 23% of couples.
• Maternal gatekeeping increases stress and reduces relationship satisfaction.
• It can make dads feel disconnected and discouraged.
• It is often rooted in social norms and gender roles.

Gatekeeping Tip

• Think of “gatekeeping” as literally “guarding the gate” to parenting.

Relationship Happiness and Parenthood

• Two out of three couples experience a drop in relationship satisfaction in the first three years of parenthood.
• Based on research by Dr. John Gottman.
• Exhaustion.
• Less intimacy.
• More arguments.
• Less couple time.
• Communication breakdowns.
• Babies are highly sensitive to parental tension.

Helpful Tools & Coping Resources

• High self-esteem.
• Good communication before baby arrives.
• Support from family/friends.
• Shared parenting values.

Coping Strategies

• Use Problem-focused coping, by solving the issue, and not avoiding it.
• Work as Teamwork in daily parenting duties.
• Show gratitude for each other.
• Build trust and flexibility.

Diana Eidelman’s G.I.F.T. Acronym New Parents.

• Go! – Take action when needed.
• Inhale & Exhale! – Breathe and stay calm.
• Feed! – Meet your baby’s basic needs.
• Touch! – Use physical closeness to soothe and bond.

Resilience Defined

• It is the ability to adapt, recover, and grow after facing major life challenges like trauma, loss, or stress.
• According to Froma Walsh: Healing, personal growth, and the ability to “struggle well”.

Resilient People

• Stay strong during crisis.
• Return to or maintain normal functioning.
• May even grow and become stronger than before.

A Resilience Memory Tip

• Resilience is like a rubber band, it stretches under pressure but snaps back, often stronger and more flexible than before.

Resilience - First Wave

• It focuses on protective factors such as optimism, creativity, and forgiveness that help people recover.

Resilience - Second Wave

• It studies the process of becoming resilient by learning and developing resilient traits.

Resilience - Third Wave

• It views resilience as an innate force within everyone.

Resiliency Process Model (Second Wave)

• Life Disruption such as illness, trauma, or loss.
• Use of protective factors like support, and coping skills.
• Result is Recovery and personal growth.
• This model emphasizes that resilience is not just bouncing back, it’s also reorganizing and evolving through adversity.

Key Components of Resilience

• According to Dr. Robert Brooks, there are three.

Resilience Building Block Personal Control

• Involves focusing on what you can control, not what you can’t.
• Let go of wasted energy on things outside your power.

Resilience Building Block Positive Relationships

• Build strong, supportive connections.
• Practice empathy, kindness, and trust.
• Support helps buffer stress and fosters belonging.

Resilience Building Block Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes (TLCs)

• These daily habits promote mental and emotional balance.
• Regular exercise.
• Healthy nutrition.
• Meditation & mindfulness.
• Acts of kindness.

Helpful Resilience Tips.

• Think of TLCs as “mental vitamins” you take daily.
• Engage in Contributory Activities, doing things for others that gives your life meaning and purpose.
• Volunteer/helping others builds emotional strength and a sense of value
• Practice Gratitude, noticing and appreciating small positives shifts your mindset to build hope in tough times.

Precontemplation Stage of Managing Mental Health

• No intention to change behavior because a person is unaware of the problem.

Contemplation Stage of Managing Mental Health

• Aware there’s a problem, but feeling ambivalent; “Yes, but…” mindset.

Preparation

• Is having the intention to take action soon, and may start making small changes

Action

• Actively working on new behavior; Change has lasted from 1 day to 6 months

Maintenance/Termination

• Change has been sustained for more than 6 months; New behavior is now a regular habit

PCP-AM Acronym for Changing Mental Habits

• It is like a doctor helping you through stages.
• Precontemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation
• Action
• Maintenance

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

• It was created by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
• It is an 8-week program that teaches people to manage stress, pain, and illness through mindfulness.
• Focus: nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment.

The MBSR Program

• Consists of weekly 2.5-hour group sessions, one full-day silent retreat, daily home practice for one hour/day, and an orientation session before the course begins.

Core Practices

• Body Scan – Focus on each part of the body with gentle awareness.
• Mindful Yoga: Gentle stretching while tuning into sensations.
• Meditation – Sitting and walking practices to train focused attention.
• Everyday Mindfulness: Applying awareness to routine tasks such as eating, and brushing teeth.
• MBSR is a “mental gym" for training your mind to be more present and less reactive.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

• Developed to prevent relapse in people with recurrent depression.
• Combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with mindfulness practices.
• Learn to observe negative thoughts without identifying with them.
• Recognize early signs of depressive spirals.
• Respond with curiosity, compassion, and calm.
• It is helpful for those with a history of depression, anxiety, or chronic mood struggles.
• Uses the metaphor of “inviting an unwelcome guest”, where you don’t fight your thoughts, but you notice and allow them without letting them take over.

Self-Compassion

• It means being kind to yourself in difficult moments, just like you would be to a good friend.
• Being open to your own suffering.
• Offering kindness and understanding, not judgment.
• Accepting that imperfection is human.

Important Note on Self-Compassion

• Self-compassion is not self-pity or laziness; it’s a healthy response to struggle and failure.
• Treating yourself with gentle encouragement, not harsh criticism.

Core Components of Self-Compassion

• Is the realization you're not alone because everyone struggles sometimes.

The Three Parts of Self-Compassion

• Acknowledge your feelings without exaggerating or suppressing them.
• Create space between your emotions and your reactions.
• Self-esteem is based on performance and social approval, while self-compassion is based on caring for oneself.
• You should aim to base compassion for yourself for yourself regardless of outcomes.
• Seek connections and resilience is more consistent and unconditional.

Common Myths of Self Compassion

• It is seen as weak, undermining motivation.

Reality of Self Compassion

• It is a source of strength and resilience, actually increases motivation and perseverance, improves relationships, increases emotional availability, and leads to healthier more balanced relationships.

Burnout

• Burnout is common in “people work” like therapy, healthcare, or social work.
• Defined by Maslach & Jackson, it includes emotional exhaustion, depersonalization (feeling numb or detached), and low personal accomplishment.
• Unchecked burnout can lead to mental and physical health problems, decreased job satisfaction, and poor care for clients or patients.
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction: Manages chronic stress and pain
• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy: Prevents depression relapse
• Mindful Self-Compassion: Builds self-kindness and emotional strength
• Acceptance & Commitment Therapy: Encourages accepting emotions and committing to values

Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) Defined

• PTG is the positive psychological change that occurs as a result of struggling with a major life crisis or trauma, according to Tedeschi & Calhoun.

Key Concepts of PTG

• PTG is about growing forward, not just bouncing back, and it happens through the struggle, not from the trauma itself.
• Common sources of trauma can include loss, illness, abuse, accidents, war, and natural disasters.

Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth

• Calhoun identified five core domains of PTG:Appreciation of Life that includes greater gratitude for small joys and everyday experiences.
  • Relating to Others
    • Having closer relationships along with increased empathy and compassion
  • Personal Strength
    • Possessing an increased belief in one’s ability to handle future challenges
  • New Possibilities
    • Experiencing pursuit of new life paths, careers, or goals,
  • Spiritual Development
    • Having a deepened spirituality and new existential understanding

Important Note on PTG

• Growth can coexist with ongoing distress and that pain doesn’t have to disappear for growth to happen.
• Acronym GROWSto domains: Use Gratitude Appreciation of Life, Relationships Relating to Others, Openness change New Possibilities, Willpower and Personal Strength along with Sexuality and Spiritual Development to remember the 5 domains.

PTG Model 1998

• This model created by Calhoun & Tedeschi explains how growth happens after trauma.
  • Key Steps
    • There is a disruption of the Assumptive World along with shook and basic beliefs about life, safety, and control.
    • Start Cognitive Processing and to reflect, question, and make sense of trauma
    • Seek Support through Self-Disclosure by Talking about it especially to expert because this helps process and integrate the experience
    • Engage in Meaning-Making by developing a set of new values, new priorities, and different perspectives over time.

Experiencing PTG

• More flexible and Emotionally the aware you are, the more likely to experiencing growth -Engage or deliberate rumination or reflective listening helps -If you have Have spiritual or philosophical mindset that it aids.
  • The act being Willing to talk about their experience and -Having the ability to seek social support

Resilience vs PTG

• PTG is also associated with resilience.
  • Resilience is the process of bouncing back to one's baseline
  • In PTG, one is bouncing forward into deeper insight or purpose not their past self

The study of grief and bereavement in families.

Grief Work Hypothesis

• Requires that in to heal after a loss, individuals must actively engage with their grief by:
  • Mentally reviewing the events surrounding the loss
  • Processing memories of the person who died
  • Emotionally detaching from the deceased
  • Avoiding grief can lead to mental health issues and/or complicated or prolonged grief.

Bereavement Grief Support

• The Dual Process Model explains that healthy grieving requires movement back and forth between two modes which are
• Loss-Oriented Coping involves pain & crying -Focuses the pain and emotions tied to the loss -Involves direct confrontation to grief.
• Restoration-Oriented Coping
  • Focuses on rebuilding life after loss -Helps form a new identity and routine -Engages one to taking on new roles, plans the future, and handles or manages one's responsibilities

Oscillation of Grief

• Moving between these two types of coping is healthy and normal.
• Prevents emotional overload and healing.

What is Disenfranchised Grief?

• Ggrief that is not socially recognized or validated with no proper to grieve in public
• There are Three Categories of support system for grieving
  • Where the relationship not acknowledge
    • An example of this is the loss of An extramarital partners or same-sex partner in unsupportive environments -There is a loss that doesn't get the required acknowledgement and the loss of a job or pet as an example
  • The Griever Isn't Acknowledged when the ex-partners, coworkers, or others and not seen as “close enough” to mourn
• The harmful effects of Disenfranchised Grief by:
  • It usually Leads to suppressed grief and then Causes social isolation which can then increases the risk of developing complicated or prolonged mourning