Exploring Risk and Safety in Relationships

Understanding Risk, Safety, Coercive Control, and Impacts on Children

• Leaving a relationship can increase attempts to control and the level of risk, even without physical violence.
• The pattern of coercive control is cumulative over time and erodes the victim's sense of self-worth and agency.
• Coercive control involves demanding obedience, disrespecting partner's decisions, and subverting their freedom.
• Victims may feel like a "puppet figure" whose sole purpose is to please the perpetrator.
• Coercive control often includes mind games and intermittent periods of "niceness" to create false hope.
• Children and young people may be terrified of the controlling parent.
• Children may take the control and abuse personally, blaming themselves.
• Victims may forget the loss of friends, community, and school due to the confusion caused by the controlling behavior.
• Manipulation and psychological torture are common in coercive control situations.
• Children and young people experience a jumble of emotions in such situations.
• Fathers' fear of not being believed can further impact children's understanding and experience.
• The impacts of coercive control on children can be significant and long-lasting.