Cycle 13 - Video 2 - Smarter Than BPD Quiz

Understanding People Pleasing Behavior

• People pleasing behavior is a common struggle for many individuals, often stemming from anxiety or trauma.

• Anxiety-based people pleasing behavior can manifest when individuals feel anxious and worried about others being upset with them or not doing things correctly.

• Trauma-based people pleasing behavior can stem from a fear of harm or abuse, leading individuals to fawn over others as a way to prevent harm.

• Trauma and abuse can also manifest in quieter forms, such as emotional neglect, which can lead to people pleasing behavior as a way to gain attention or approval.

• People pleasing behavior can stem from a discomfort with conflict and a desire for control over one's environment.

• It is not always easy to identify the root cause of people pleasing behavior, and therapy can be messy and not always provide clear answers.

• People pleasing behavior can lead to neglect of one's own basic needs, such as sleep and nutrition.

• Checking in on one's own needs and taking care of oneself can help prevent slipping into people pleasing behavior.

• People pleasing behavior can lead to over-apologizing, saying sorry for things that one is not actually sorry for, and apologizing for taking up space.

• Engaging in fact-checking and distraction techniques can help individuals with people pleasing behavior overcome anxious or dysregulated thought spirals.

• Relationships should involve give and take, and it is important to recognize that friendships and other relationships do not always require individuals to put others' needs before their own.

• Placing and upholding healthy boundaries can help individuals overcome feelings of responsibility for others' emotions, which can contribute to people pleasing behavior.Struggling with Apologizing and Worrying

• The speaker has a tendency to apologize excessively to avoid conflict.

• The speaker wants to know if the listener struggles with the same issue.

• The speaker still has tough days, especially when she hasn't slept well.

• The speaker has a puppy that keeps her and her partner awake at times.

• The speaker's job is demanding and can cause her to get stressed out.

• When stressed, the speaker finds herself apologizing more and worrying that her friends are mad at her.

• The speaker has no evidence to support her worries.

• The speaker checks in with herself when she notices these behaviors.

• The speaker tries to do the opposite of her usual behavior as a coping mechanism.

• The speaker acknowledges that excessive apologizing and worrying may be a way to deflect conflict.

• The speaker is open to hearing from the listener about their experiences with this issue.

• The speaker recognizes the importance of paying attention to her own behavior and addressing it when necessary.