Podcast
Questions and Answers
What emotion does the narrator primarily express towards their situation?
What emotion does the narrator primarily express towards their situation?
- Resignation
- Confusion
- Despair (correct)
- Hopefulness
What is the primary reason the narrator sought a new school?
What is the primary reason the narrator sought a new school?
- To find a more supportive environment.
- To improve academic performance.
- To escape an uncontrolled environment. (correct)
- To gain independence from their mother.
What impact has chaos had on the narrator's life?
What impact has chaos had on the narrator's life?
- It has improved relationships at home.
- It has only affected school life.
- It has negatively affected both home and school life. (correct)
- It has no significant impact on their life.
How does the narrator describe their mother's parenting style?
How does the narrator describe their mother's parenting style?
What question does the narrator pose about their mother’s ability to teach responsibility?
What question does the narrator pose about their mother’s ability to teach responsibility?
What potential reasons does the narrator consider for their mother's behavior?
What potential reasons does the narrator consider for their mother's behavior?
What metaphor does the narrator use to describe chaos in their life?
What metaphor does the narrator use to describe chaos in their life?
What does the narrator feel happens each time they get comfortable?
What does the narrator feel happens each time they get comfortable?
How does the narrator reflect on their mother's statement about being tired of her role?
How does the narrator reflect on their mother's statement about being tired of her role?
What phrase best captures the narrator's view of their upbringing?
What phrase best captures the narrator's view of their upbringing?
What is the primary feeling expressed by the narrator regarding their relationship with their mother?
What is the primary feeling expressed by the narrator regarding their relationship with their mother?
How did the narrator cope with the absence of their mother?
How did the narrator cope with the absence of their mother?
What does the narrator mean by saying they missed the 'little things' like curfews and rules?
What does the narrator mean by saying they missed the 'little things' like curfews and rules?
What does the narrator imply about their mother's responses to their questions about curfews?
What does the narrator imply about their mother's responses to their questions about curfews?
At what age does the narrator reflect on their feelings of abandonment?
At what age does the narrator reflect on their feelings of abandonment?
What action did the narrator take to conceal their mother's neglect from others?
What action did the narrator take to conceal their mother's neglect from others?
Which of the following sentiments captures the narrator's emotions effectively?
Which of the following sentiments captures the narrator's emotions effectively?
What does the phrase 'absolute and complete freedom gets old very fast' imply about the narrator's view on independence?
What does the phrase 'absolute and complete freedom gets old very fast' imply about the narrator's view on independence?
What is suggested by the narrator's experience of not seeing their mother for days or weeks?
What is suggested by the narrator's experience of not seeing their mother for days or weeks?
What does the narrator imply about their understanding of their mother's physical whereabouts?
What does the narrator imply about their understanding of their mother's physical whereabouts?
What motivated the author to take Ms.G's class?
What motivated the author to take Ms.G's class?
What impact did Ms.G’s class and the church camp have on the author?
What impact did Ms.G’s class and the church camp have on the author?
How does the author feel about their past lifestyle?
How does the author feel about their past lifestyle?
What changes did the author make regarding their health and relationships?
What changes did the author make regarding their health and relationships?
What is the author's current attitude toward drugs?
What is the author's current attitude toward drugs?
What are the author’s current priorities?
What are the author’s current priorities?
What achievement did the author reach in their senior year regarding chemistry?
What achievement did the author reach in their senior year regarding chemistry?
What does the author believe about their potential?
What does the author believe about their potential?
What future goals does the author aspire to achieve?
What future goals does the author aspire to achieve?
Which statement best describes the author’s mindset throughout the narrative?
Which statement best describes the author’s mindset throughout the narrative?
What realization did the speaker have about their identity?
What realization did the speaker have about their identity?
What emotions did the speaker experience after recognizing their sexual identity?
What emotions did the speaker experience after recognizing their sexual identity?
What concerns did the speaker express about societal acceptance?
What concerns did the speaker express about societal acceptance?
What specific type of educational institution is mentioned in the context?
What specific type of educational institution is mentioned in the context?
What question did the speaker have concerning their education if their sexual identity was discovered?
What question did the speaker have concerning their education if their sexual identity was discovered?
Which of the following summarizes the speaker's feelings toward their friends learning about their identity?
Which of the following summarizes the speaker's feelings toward their friends learning about their identity?
What did the speaker find amusing when reflecting on their situation?
What did the speaker find amusing when reflecting on their situation?
What consequence did the by-laws of the school state regarding homosexuality?
What consequence did the by-laws of the school state regarding homosexuality?
What role did the best friend play in the speaker's realization of their identity?
What role did the best friend play in the speaker's realization of their identity?
What was a primary fear of the speaker regarding their romantic relationship?
What was a primary fear of the speaker regarding their romantic relationship?
What was the author's primary emotional reaction upon realizing they became an All-American?
What was the author's primary emotional reaction upon realizing they became an All-American?
What significant event does the author describe in their diary?
What significant event does the author describe in their diary?
How did the author's perception of football change over four years?
How did the author's perception of football change over four years?
What influenced the author to lose interest in football during their youth?
What influenced the author to lose interest in football during their youth?
At what age did the author start experimenting with drugs?
At what age did the author start experimenting with drugs?
What does the author suggest was the only thing that mattered to them during their freshman year?
What does the author suggest was the only thing that mattered to them during their freshman year?
What was the initial relationship between football and substance use for the author?
What was the initial relationship between football and substance use for the author?
What type of scholarship did the author receive for college?
What type of scholarship did the author receive for college?
What attitude did the author express towards academics in their earlier years?
What attitude did the author express towards academics in their earlier years?
What was the author's aspiration from a young age?
What was the author's aspiration from a young age?
Study Notes
Diary #97 - Separation Anxiety
- The author feels chaotic because they feel their home life is being disrupted, and now their school life is being disrupted too.
- The author went to Wilson High School to escape an "uncontrolled environment" which the author describes as "raising".
- The author's mother's parenting capabilities were described by the author, "I’ll give you twenty dollars and the keys to my car if you leave me alone this weekend."
- The mother explains this behavior, "I’m just tired of playing the role of mother," as she bluntly said to the author one morning.
- The author wonders, "How could she teach me to be responsible if she wasn't responsible herself?"
- The author acknowledges that the mother's behaviour was "Maybe it was her drinking; maybe it was her drugs; maybe it was me."
- The author states that "absolute and complete freedom gets old very fast."
- The author's mother was "simply tired of raising me, so I raised myself."
- The author missed "the little things; curfews and rules were nonexistent."
- The author's mother would reply, "By Monday," to the author's question of when they had to be home, even if it was Friday.
- The author desired "guidance" from their mother.
Diary #127 - Homosexuality
- The author recently came to terms with being a lesbian.
- The author is attending a religious school where "the by-laws say that homosexuality will not be tolerated."
Diary #131 - Football All-American
- The author achieved a full-ride scholarship to play football at a Pac-10 school.
- The author used to drink, smoke, and do drugs.
- The author didn't prioritize school, and the author was "getting high was the only thing that mattered."
- However, the author has changed their mind about drugs and "getting high is something I don’t even think about."
- The author now works hard in school and "in the gym to be ready for football at the college level."
- The author improved their chemistry grades from an F to an A in their senior year.
- The author believes they have "what it takes" to succeed, and "I am going to do my best" to achieve further goals.
- The author's mother got them into Ms. G's class in their junior year, "hoping that I would “catch” some of Ms.G’s excitement." for reading.
- The author credits Ms. G's class, a church camp, and parent's encouragement for helping them to see "the mess I was making of my life."
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Description
This diary entry explores the author's struggle with separation anxiety and the chaotic dynamics of their home life. The author reflects on their mother's parenting style and the impact of her limitations on their own sense of responsibility. Through this narrative, themes of independence, familial relationships, and the challenges of self-raising are examined.
