Childhood Memory and Family

Childhood Memories of Adoption

• The narrator recalls a childhood memory of sitting at a low table, coloring, and being told by her grandmother that she is adopted and has a "real mummy and daddy" somewhere else.
• The narrator represses this memory for decades, wanting to be happy and avoid the uncomfortable truth.

The Unsettling Nature of Adoption

• Adoption raises existential questions about identity and the self, forcing children to ask "Who am I?" and "What does it mean to be me?" at a young age.
• The narrator suggests that this is not typically addressed in mainstream stories about adoptee experiences, as it's not a classic "misery memoir" territory.
• The adoption experience is characterized by a shifty, shifting interplay of alternative narratives, making it difficult for adoptees to establish a sense of identity.

Inalienability and Identity

• The narrator searches for a sense of inalienability, or something that cannot be taken away, but acknowledges that adoption is predicated upon alienability.
• Within the adoption triangle, everything, including name, home, and belonging, can be negotiated away.
• This means that even the individual's identity is not intrinsic, but rather something that can be negotiated or taken away.

The Circumstantial Nature of Family Life

• The narrator notes that even in "normal" family life, where kids grow up in birth families, connections are circumstantial and can be disrupted by various factors, such as divorce, death, or abandonment.
• This highlights the fragility of family relationships and the lack of inalienability in all forms of family life.

A childhood memory of a girl colouring and a conversation with her grandmother about her parents. Quiz questions about this short story.