Childhood Memory and Family

Childhood Memory

• The narrator recalls a childhood memory of sitting at a low table, colouring as a child of four or five years old.
• The memory is dim and unstable but reveals the narrator's grandmother babysitting them, with no mention of their parents.
• The narrator, as a child, boasts about showing their artwork to their "mummy and daddy".

Grandmother's Revelation

• The grandmother corrects the child, stating that their "mummy and daddy" are not their real parents, implying they have biological parents elsewhere.
• The child doesn't react or show their face, continuing to colour, but is affected by the grandmother's words.
• The grandmother's sentence "You have a real mummy and daddy somewhere else" has a profound impact on the child, altering their perception of reality.

Memory and Adoption

• The writer's childhood memory of being told by her grandmother that she is adopted and doesn't belong to her caretakers is unstable and dim.
• The writer's grandmother reveals that her parents are not her real parents, suggesting that her real parents are somewhere else.

Identity and Adoption

• The writer realizes that adoption raises existential questions about identity and self, making her wonder "Who am I?" and "What does it mean to be me?"
• Adopted children must grapple with these questions at a young age, and it becomes a lifelong struggle.
• The interplay of alternative narratives is inherent to the adoptee experience.

Inalienability and Adoption

• The writer's grandmother's revelation makes her search for inalienability, or a sense of permanent belonging, which she cannot find.
• Adoption is predicated on the idea that everything, including identity, can be negotiated and taken away.
• This existential lack of givenness is why adoptees are deeply affected by stories of adopted children being returned to the system.

Normal Family Life and Adoption

• The writer argues that even biological family life is circumstantial and not inherently secure.
• Biological parents can abandon, be forced to give up, or be prevented from raising their children.
• Divorces, custody battles, and sibling drift can also occur in biological families.
• No one, including biological families, can entirely rely on inalienability.

A childhood memory of the author sitting at a low table colouring, where the grandmother reveals a shocking truth about the child's parents. The quiz explores this memory and its significance.