Effective Counseling PDF

l\huau.cch Wraiuiug ]untitutc ]utcruatinual A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counsefing PARTTEN How Life Callings Give Direction for Wise Decisions How Life Callings Give Direction for Wise Decisions Contents: Problems When a Life Calling Is Not Defined .................... 3 Defining You...

l\huau.cch Wraiuiug ]untitutc ]utcruatinual A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counsefing PARTTEN How Life Callings Give Direction for Wise Decisions How Life Callings Give Direction for Wise Decisions Contents: Problems When a Life Calling Is Not Defined .................... 3 Defining Your Life Purpose .................................... 4 Twelve Precise Ways to Glorify God ............................. 4 Set Your Life Goal ............................................. 9 Discover Your Life Calling .................................... 10 Evaluate Specific Life Callings ................................. 11 Practical Steps to Discover Your Life Calling .................... 12 Develop the Mind-Set of a Champion Runner ................... 12 Embrace the Power of the Cross of Christ ....................... 12 Consider the Spiritual Needs and Concerns of Your Parents ....... 14 Evaluate the Potential of Your Spiritual Gift ..................... 15 Search Out the Needs of Fellow Believers ....................... 16 Confirm Your Life Calling With Rhemas ........................ 16 Begin by Fulfilling General Life Callings ....................... 17 Pray for All Those in Authority ................................ 17 Do Good to All Men .......................................... 20 Assist Needy Widows and Fatherless Children .................. 21 Make Disciples of All Nations ................................. 22 Select Your Life Work ......................................... 22 Record Your Life Message ..................................... 23 Questions About Life Callings .................................23 How to Use This Material in Counseling ........................23 Effective Counseling Course Part Ten Institute in Basic Life Principles • Box One • Oak Brook, IL 60522-3001 • 630-323-9800 When a Life Calling Is Not Defined The Problems: □ A son asks his parents, "What schooling should I get to prepare for my future?" The parents ask him what his interests are. He suggests a few ideas, but none are of great importance to him. □ A high school graduate informs his parents that he wants to travel around the country to find out what life is all about before he goes to college. His parents realize the danger of this but do not know how to persuade him not to do it. □ A senior in college is asked, "What do you plan to do when you graduate?" He answers, "I don't know. I'll try to get a job somewhere." □ A student looks at the academic subjects he is required to study and asks, "How will I ever use this information in the future?" His parents agree that they have never had occasion to use it, but they conclude, "It will help develop your mind." □ A concerned teenager asks, "How can I be sure that I have found the right life work, or how can I know God's will for my life?" No one gives him a good answer. LJ A young person states, "I have no desire to do anything and no real motivation to get up in the morning. I waste many hours during the day because I have no purpose or goal for my life." □ A high school student goes to the guidance counselor for help in planning his future. The counselor instructs him to read several books that will teach him how to "get in touch with his inner self." □ A teenager tells his parents that he wants to go to a certain college because his friends are going there. His parents are not enthusiastic about his friends or the college, but they do not have a clear alternative for him. [J A company executive is asked, "Are you fulfilled in your job?" He answers, "No, I am actually looking for a different type of work, but nothing has opened up yet." [J A businessman explains, "I would like to change jobs, but I feel a need for more training, so I am going back for more schooling." □ A couple asks for counsel on a decision, "Should we stay where we are or move to another location?" They want to know how to find God's will in this matter. All of these statements are expressions of individuals who have not understood the concept of a "life calling." A person who has not discovered the God-given calling for his life will have difficulty making wise decisions for his education, work, marriage, expenditures, and priorities. He will be frustrated with the social pressures around him to go to some college and find some work. He will then discover the fact that vocations will not in themselves bring true fulfillment. Frustration on the job will result in conflicts with the employer, fellow employees, family, and God. 3 How Life Callings Guide All Other Decisions There are five important terms which, if understood properly, will give clarity and direction to our lives and to the decisions we make. Those who do not understand the concepts behind these terms will tend to be confused about what their life work should be and overly concerned about choosing the right vocation. Those who understand them will see their life work in a totally new and freeing perspective. 1. Life Purpose-To glorify God 2. Life Goal-To tum many to righteousness 3. Life Calling-The particular people God wants you to serve 4. Life Work-Jobs that will allow you to fulfill your calling 5. Life Message-An account of how your calling was fulfilled Identify Your Life Purpose You can have only one true life purpose-to glorify God. This is the ultimate purpose for everything that God created. "That we should be to the praise of his glory ... " (Ephesians 1:12). Definition of Glory: The word glorify in the Greek is doxazo. It is from doxazo that we get the word doxology. It means "to magnify, to extol, to praise, and to ascribe honor." Among the great doxologies in Scripture is I Timothy 1:17, "Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen." Twelve Precise Ways to Glorify God 1. Offering Praise to God "Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me ..." (Psalm 50:23). The Hebrew word for offer means "to slay" (as in the animal sacrifices). Just as sacrifices were made in the Old Testament, so believers are to sacrifice their natural tendencies of silly and vain conversations and gossip and are instead to present words to God that exalt and honor Him as the King of kings and the Lord of lords. This analogy of sacrifice is further emphasized in Hebrews 13:15, "By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." 2. Thanking God for Deliverance "And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me" (Psalm 50:15). One of the purposes of trials in the believer's life is to motivate him to cry out to God for deliverance. The greater the trial, the greater the cry. When God delivers and we tell others how He did it, He is glorified. God could have opened up the Red Sea when the fleeing 4 nation of Israel reached its shore. However, He waited until they cried out to Hirn. Then He performed a miracle that caused the nations to know that He is the Great and Powerful God. Our first response to a trial should be to ask, "Has God brought this into my life so that I will cry out to Hirn for deliverance and then be able to glorify Hirn by telling others what He did?" Also, "Have I been faithful in rehearsing His deliverance in past trials, or have I robbed Hirn of His glory by attributing deliverance to other factors?" 3. Honoring God's Holy Name "Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name ..." (Psalm 29:2). Knowing the names of God is a vital factor in glorifying Hirn. These names should be used in prayer and in talking about His marvelous works. He has revealed His nature by the names He has given Himself. He is "the God Who provides" (Jehovah-jireh). He is the "God Who heals" (Jehovah-rophe), the "God Who leads to victory over the flesh"(Jehovahnissi), the "God Who cleanses us and sets us apart for His work" (Jehovah-M'Kaddesh), the "God Who gives us peace" (Jehovah-shalom), the "God Who is our righteousness," (Jehovah-tsidkenu), the "God Who is our Shepherd" (J ehovah-rohi), and the "God Who is always present" (Jehovah-sharnrna). A helpful method to rehearse the names of God is to go through the alphabet in prayer and give one or two names for each letter of the alphabet: "You are my Abba Father and the Almighty God, the Bright and Morning Star, the Beloved of the Father, the Creator and the Christ-the Son of the Living God, my Deliverer and Defender, my Eternal God and Everlasting Father, my Faithful High Priest and the Friend of sinners, the Giver of every good gift, the God of all comfort, my Healer and Helper and the Holy Son of God, the Invisible, Immortal God, the Judge of all the earth and the Justifier of those who trust in You, the King of kings and the Keeper of my soul, the Lord of lords and the Light of the world, my Maker, Master, and Mighty God, the One Whose Name is above every name-to whom every knee shall bow, the Omnipotent One, the Only begotten Son, the Prince of Peace, my Protector and Provider, the Quickening Spirit and the Quencher of my thirst, my Redeemer and my Righteousness, the Ruler of the earth, the Son of God and my Savior and Shepherd, the Truth and the Trustworthy One, the Undefiled and the Understander of my thoughts, the Vine and the Victor, the Wonderful One and Wise God. You are truly the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End." 5 4. Declaring t~e Mighty Works of God "Declare his glory among the heathen; his marvellous works among all nations." (I Chronicles 16:24). All persons, tribes, or nations tend to worship "the god" whom they perceive to be most powerful. It is because of this that God reveals His mighty power in response to the needs and prayers of His people. The nation of Israel was told to establish monuments that would be reminders for generations to come of the mighty works He did for them. Every believer should have similar reports of how God answered prayer, provided protection, and did other wonderful works that will convince the world of His reality and power. The world is especially impressed with personal testimonies of how God transformed a hopeless marriage, a rebellious son or daughter, a person in the bondage of a habit and how God provided money or resources in precise amounts and timing through prayer. 5. Producing "Fruit" That Remains "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit ... " (John 15:8). " ... I have chosen you ... that your fruit should remain ... " (John 15:16). The "fruit" of a believer begins with the character of Christ being developed in the believer's heart and is reflected in his attitudes and actions." ... The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance ... " (Galatians 5:22-23). Lasting fruit is also produced by the sacrificial gifts that we give to the Lord. Paul affirms this when he thanked the believers in Philippi for sending provisions to him. "Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account" (Philippians 4:17). The crowning fruit of a believer is to lead a person to Christ and to help him grow in the teachings of the Lord so that he in tum will be able to lead others to salvation. Paul referred to a Roman believer as "the firstfruits of Achaia." (See Romans 16:5). Paul makes a further reference to the salvation of people as "fruit" in Romans 1:13. Another aspect of fruit is the praise to God that comes from our lips." ... Let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name" (Hebrews 13:15). 6. Doing Good Works With a Bright Countenance "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16). A good work is meeting a basic need with genuine love. One evidence of love is that the work is done so another person gets the credit (" ... In honour preferring one another" [Romans 12:10]). For example, if you visit a widow and take care of some of her needs, she will obviously be grateful to you for this act of kindness. However, if you first check with her pastor for a personal word of encouragement from him to her, then you can say to the widow, "I want to greet you on behalf of your pastor who loves you and is praying for you and who wants to encourage you with these words ... " Believers are to be zealous to do good works. (See Titus 2:14.) "The light of the body is the eye ... " (Matthew 6:22). A clean and radiant heart and soul will produce a brightness in the eyes that the world will immediately recognize. This light of your eyes causes the hearts of those who see it to rejoice. "The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart ... " (Proverbs 15:30). 6 7. Living in Moral Purity 11 Therefore glorify God in your body [by fleeing fornication], and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:20; see also v. 18). ••• God requires holiness in the life of believers. " ... Be ye holy; for I am holy" (I Peter 1:16). "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:14). Holiness of life requires obedience to Biblical standards of morality. "Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul" (I Peter 2:11). Victory over the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life must begin by bringing every thought _into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (See II Corinthians 10:5.) Jesus overcame temptation by immediately resisting Satan with the rhemas of Scripture. He said, " ... Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word [rhema] of God" (Luke 4:4). David affirms the power of Scripture to overcome sin: "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Psalm 119:11). Similarly, we must take up the shield of faith and learn how to skillfully wield" ... the sword of the Spirit, which is the word [rhema] of God" (Ephesians 6:17; see also v. 16). 8. Confessing Secret Sins • • • Give, I pray thee, glory to the LORD God of Israel, and make confession unto him; and tell me now what thou hast done ..." (Joshua 7:19). 11 When believers violate God's moral law, they allow the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme His name. However, when confession is made after repentance, God is glorified. Confession of sin is required in order for a believer to overcome it, since "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Sin follows the laws of the harvest. "For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption ... " (Galatians 6:8). We reap what we sow. We reap where we sow. We reap more than we sow, and we reap in a different season than we sow. When God disciplines a believer for secret sin, others may take up an offense against God for punishing such a Godly person. It is, therefore, appropriate for the individual to acknowledge his sin so that God does not get blamed for the consequences. Confession of sin is essential in order to have a clear conscience, and a clear conscience is the basis for the brightness of eyes. 9. Giving Sacrificially to God and Others "They glorify God ... for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men" (II Corinthians 9:13). When a famine occurred in Jerusalem, God sent Paul out to the Gentile churches to collect an offering for the believing Jews. When these gifts were brought to Jerusalem and distributed, the Jewish believers glorified God. Those who gave demonstrated the grace of God upon them and caused others to praise God. The example of this offering is given for every believer to follow. We are to give generously and joyfully, knowing that God will repay us according to the measure and attitude of our giving. " ... He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver" (II Corinthians. 9:6-7). 7 10. Suffering Reproach for Christ's Sake "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye ... on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified" (I Peter 4:14). Suffering for doing right is an expected part of a believer's life. Jesus assured His disciples that men would speak all manner of evil against them and revile them. Nevertheless, they were to rejoice because an added measure of grace would be given to them by which they would be able to accomplish important things for God and thereby gain a greater reward in Heaven. It is important, however, to distinguish between suffering for Jesus' sake and suffering for our sakes. If we say or do the right thing but lack love or compassion, we will not be suffering for Christ's sake but for our own bad attitudes. We are to "speak the truth in love." (See Ephesians 4:15.) The world has a growing contempt for mean-spirited believers who are pointing out errors in others. We are to contend for the faith but not be contentious. 11. Being United in Mind and Spirit "That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 15:6). Before the Lord Jesus Christ went to the cross, He pleaded with His Father in prayer that His disciples" ... all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me" Gohn 17:21). The Apostle Paul emphasized the vital importance of believers' working for a Spiritdirected unity based on the truths of God's Word. Unity is never achieved by compromising truth or by compromising Godly living. "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (I Corinthians 1:10). 12. Accepting God's Choice of Death "This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God ..." Gohn 21:19). One of the purposes of Christ's coming into the world was to forever remove from believers the fear of death. He died to " ... deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage" (Hebrews 2:15). Conquering the fear of death begins by understanding death to self. Dying to self is an important part of a believer's spiritual growth. Paul urges every believer to reckon that he was crucified with Christ on the cross, as well as buried with Him and raised to be seated with Him in the heavenlies. (See Romans 6:6-11 and Ephesians 2:5-6.) It is not for the believer to choose how or when he is to die. God is the One Who gives life and takes it from us. On this basis, Jesus said to Peter, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not. This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me" Gohn 21:18-19). By diligently following these truths, we will be accomplishing our life purpose. 8 Set Your Life Goal The life goal of every believer should be to win as many people to Christ as possible. This is the goal that Christ had for coming into the world. "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost" (Luke 19:10). Jesus made this goal very clear to Peter when He said," ... Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). Bringing people to Christ and to eternal life is the wisest life goal that we can have. "And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that tum many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever" (Daniel 12:3). The most important reason for making this our life goal is that it is a powerful way to glorify God. "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples" Gohn 15:8). "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise" (Proverbs 11:30). The Serious Consequences of Missing This Life Goal God gives a somber warning in Ezekiel 3:18-19, "When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul." This same warning is repeated in Ezekiel 33:8. When God says something once, it is important; when He states it twice, it is very important. How to Lead a Person to Christ 1. Look for ways to demonstrate Christ's love to him. People are not impressed with what we know about Christ until they know how much we care about them. Based on Matthew 5:16, our good works are to precede our good words. 2. Use the Law of God to bring about conviction. A sinner will not understand his need for salvation until he realizes how he has broken God's Law and is deserving of eternal judgment in hell. The Law of God brings conviction. It is described in Galatians as a schoolmaster (pedagogue). (See Galatians 3:24.) The schoolmaster was not the teacher but a trusted slave who brought a child of nobility to the teacher. 3. Explain the Gospel and ask for a decision. The Good News of salvation is summarized in I Corinthians 15:3--4: " ... That Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." A further guide to salvation is given in the book of Romans. • Romans 3:23-"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." • Romans 6:23-"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." • Romans 5:8-"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." • Romans 10:9-"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." 9 Discover Your Life Calling Definition: Your life calling is the particular group of people to whom God will send you to serve. God has a precise purpose for each person whom He brings into the world. That purpose begins by believing on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation, and the next step is dedicating our life to the Lord Jesus Christ as a living sacrifice. (See Romans 12:1-2.) Following this, we should be alert to the particular group of people whom God wants us to serve. It is through our calling that we find our identity and our fulfillment in life. Our calling bonds us with our Heavenly Father Who sends us out as He did His Son. Our calling motivates us to embrace the daily disciplines of the Christian life. Biblical Examples of Specific Callings • • • • • • • Peter was called to the Jews Paul was called to the Gentiles Nehemiah was called to the remnant of Jerusalem Joseph was called to preserve his family and the future of Israel Esther was called to the kingdom to save the Jews Timothy was called to serve the first-century churches The house of Stephanas was called to serve the saints Other Examples of Life Callings • • • • • • • • Hudson Taylor was called to minister to the Chinese people John Wesley was called to the common people of England George Muller was called to serve orphans David Brainerd was called to reach the frontier Indians of America George Washington was called to establish a nation built on Biblical principles William Tyndale was called to serve the common people by translating the Bible D. L. Moody was called to reach the children of Chicago Fanny Crosby was called to help believers sing praise to God Do Life Callings Relate Only to Great People? No. Greatness is not measured by how many people we reach or by what great things we accomplish in life but by our faithfulness to the people whom God has sent us to serve. A little-known Sunday school teacher was faithful to his calling and led to Christ a young shoe salesman whose name was Dwight L. Moody. Peter Boehler was faithful to witness to the people in Bristol, England, and helped a confused and discouraged missionary find faith in Christ. The missionary's name was John Wesley. One day the glorious rewards of Heaven will be revealed, but they will all be related to a person's faithfulness in carrying out his calling. God's ultimate praise will be, " ... Well done, thou good and faithful servant ... " (Matthew 25:21), not "Well done thou great and successful leader." 10 Evaluate Specific Life Callings The callings of God will be related to the advancing of His kingdom. It is God's purpose to prepare the Church as the glorious Bride for Christ without spot or blemish. The stability of a church and of every other facet of a civilization is a strong, vibrant family. The breakdown of the family will bring about the weakening not only of the church but of an entire civilization. Ten Features of Strong Families 1. Strong Husbands2. Virtuous Wives3. Wise Fathers4. Joyful Mothers5. Mature Sons6. Radiant Daughters7. Lasting Marriages8. Obedient Children9. Secure Babies10. Well-kept property- With vision and convictions With trust in God Who listen and praise With inner contentment With wise commitments Who guard their hearts Based on covenant vows Who grow in character Whose wills are submitted Kept clean and in good repair Specific Li£e Callings ::J To husbands □ To mothers □ To children To handicapped To families To the poor To public leaders To businessmen □ □ □ □ □ □ To wives □ To young men □ To the fatherless □ To delinquents □ To prisoners □ To foreigners □ To pastors u To caregivers □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ To fathers To young women To the divorced To the elderly To teachers To widows To the sick To unwed mothers Note: Life calling usually begins with one particular group of people and then expands to include others. Jesus came to the Jews, then expanded His calling to "whosoever will." 11 Practical Steps to Discover Your Life Calling 1. Develop the Mind-Set of a Champion Runner "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God ... " (Philippians 3:14). Believers are called to be disciples. A disciple is a "disciplined one." The daily disciplines of the Christian life are vital to discovering and fulfilling your life calling. These disciplines are taught by Jesus Christ and were demonstrated during His earthly ministry. Each discipline carries with it a special promise of reward to those who keep them. [J □ n □ □ □ □ □ Rising early-" ... Early will I seek thee ... To see thy power and thy glory ... " (Psalm 63:1-2). Reading Scripture-" ... Desire... the word, that ye may grow thereby" (I Peter 2:2). Memorizing Scripture-"Thy word have I hid ... that I might not sin" (Psalm 119:11). Meditating on Scripture-Whatsoever you do shall prosper. (See Psalm 1:3.) Praying Fervently-Pray in secret; Father will reward you openly. (See Matthew 6:6.) Fasting Periodically-Fast in secret; be rewarded openly. (See Matthew 6:18.) Giving Generously-Sow bountifully and reap bountifully. (See II Corinthians 9:6.) Honoring the Lord's Day-" ... Ride upon the high places of the earth ... " (Isaiah58:14). These disciplines will direct your focus to the Lord Jesus Christ and to the marvelous fellowship and rewards He has for you. They will also cause the distractions of this world to become dim and lose their delusive glamour. A runner must keep his eye on the goal and not be discouraged with hardships or distracted by temptations along the way. Such a focus will fulfill the challenge of Hebrews 12:1: " ... Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." 2. Embrace the Power of the Cross of Christ "For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake" (Philippians 1:29). If you were offered $10,000 in cash or an undefined "cross," which would you choose? The obvious answer to most people would be the money. But what if you were told that both items contain power? The money contains the power of man by virtue of its value; however, the "cross" contains the power of God. The power of the cross is affirmed in I Corinthians 1:18, "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God." One of the most important functions of this power is to free us from the death grip of worldliness. #But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world" (Galatians 6:14). Today, the Church is despised because multitudes of believers do not have the power of God to withstand the world, the flesh, or the devil. Messages on the cross are being replaced with talks about how to be "relevant" to our society, which is evil and adulterous. Many churches are even removing the cross in order not to "offend" unbelievers who attend. By removing the message of the cross, they hide the true cost of discipleship and remove the power of God. The cross is the central factor in following Christ. 11 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9:23). In the Gospels we have an example of a true "seeker" coming to Christ for eternal life. Notice how Jesus emphasized the need for that seeker to take up the cross. "Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me" (Mark 10:21). Jesus has harsh words for those who are ashamed of the cross. "He that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:38). "... Whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:27). WHAT ARE THE PREPARATIONS FOR TAKING UP THE CROSS? The same outlook Jesus had toward His cross must be the outlook we have for our lives and the particular "cross" that He entrusts to us. It is significant that Jesus did not tell us to pick up His cross but rather to pick up our "cross." Each believer has various burdens to bear. Some we can bear individually, and for others we need the help of fellow believers, just as Jesus did in bearing His cross. (See Galatians 6:2-5). The preparations for "cross-bearing" certainly include the following: • To have the ultimate goal of a "productive death," rather than a pleasurable life. • To have the motivation of finishing our Father's work before we die, not of achieving our own dreams. At the age of twelve Jesus said," ... I must be about my Father's business" (Luke 2:49). • To shoulder family responsibilities during growing up years, rather than expect freedom to enjoy friends and outside activities. Jesus was known as the "carpenter's son." • To engraft and meditate on Scripture, rather than rely on the philosophies of human reasoning. Jesus met each temptation with, "It is written" (See Luke 4:1-13). • To do nothing of our own will, but only the will of our Heavenly Father. • To dedicate our lives to serving people, rather than expecting people to serve us. Jesus" ... came not to be ministered unto, but to minister ... " (Matthew 20:28). WHAT DOES IT ACTUALLY MEAN TO TAKE UP THE CROSS? (Picture Christ's final struggle from Pilate's court to the hill of Calvary.) □ It means to shoulder a burden that will be the means of our death. D It means expending energy that we know is not sufficient for the task. D It means full submission to the human authorities our Heavenly Father places over us. □ It means following directions given to us, rather than choosing our own way. □ It means unavoidable exposure to public ridicule and mocking. □ It means misunderstanding and rejection by those we love and serve. □ It means quiet endurance of false accusations. 13 LJ It means the pain of hunger and thirst in place of self-indulgence. □ It means intense grief and sorrow for those who reject God and His ways. LJ It means carrying the responsibility for our aging parents until their death. □ It means having our personal possessions taken from us and given to others. 7 It means crying out to God in personal agony. □ It means having our words distorted and thrown back at us in derision. □ It means the loss of our privacy and having our lives open before a scrutinizing world. lJ It means being associated with people who are despised by the world. [ l It means going through experiences in which we feel that God has forsaken us. □ It means looking beyond present circumstances to future rewards. LJ It means having our most trusted friends join with our enemies. □ It means having our appearances damaged by cruel abuse. C- l It means providing an example that will impact the city, nation, and world. There comes a point in every believer's life when he must choose to die to himself and take up his "cross," or else he will not be able to withstand the pressures and temptations that will certainly come into his life. This point of no return, this embracing of a "productive death," is a prerequisite to understanding our life calling. It not only provides the power of God but is also the basis of conquering Satan. "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death" (Revelation 12:11). 3. Consider the Spiritual Needs and Concerns of Your Parents Solomon's testimony:" . .. David my father could not build an house .... Behold, I purpose to build an house unto the name of the LORD my God ..." (I Kings 5:3, 5). Some of the clearest evidences of a life calling are the circumstances, frustrations, problems, and unfulfilled goals that God placed around you as you were growing up. These are God-directed irritants to" ... provoke unto love and to good works" (Hebrews·l0:24). If you fail to see them as indicators of a life calling, they will, on the other hand, produce disillusionment, bitterness, and defeat. The following are some examples of needs that reveal life callings: lJ If your parents are divorced-a calling to rebuild broken marriages '1 If there is sibling rivalry-a calling to motivate firstborns to be loving servers n If you have no father in the home-a calling to meet the needs of single-parent children L: If your family mismanages money-a calling to teach financial freedom □ If a brother or sister rebels-a calling to work with troubled teens [ l If your house is filled with clutter-a calling to help families get organized L J If your parents limited family size-a calling to promote the love of children □ If a family member has an evil habit-a calling to bring people to moral freedom C If you have a handicapped loved one-a calling to help the disabled become mighty in Spirit =i If you experienced the death of a loved one-a calling to comfort those in sorrow 14 4. Evaluate the Potential of Your Spiritual Gift "For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance" (Romans 11:29). "Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us ..." (Romans 12:6). God gives every believer spiritual gifts in order to carry out his life calling. These gifts can be evaluated in three categories. 1. Motivational gifts: the unique expressions of the grace of God working within a believer's life. They are the underlying motivations to accomplish the work of God from a particular emphasis. A list of these is given in Romans 12:6-8. □ Prophecy-the motivation to see sin exposed and to have truth prevail □ Teaching-the motivation to verify details and give accurate information n Serving-the motivation to free others to accomplish their life callings lJ Exhortation-the motivation to see believers grow in their faith LJ Ruling-the motivation to use available resources to accomplish major goals □ Giving-the motivation to find assets and make the best use of them □ Mercy-the motivation to relieve the hurts of others and give comfort Each believer will tend to view a given circumstance from the perspective of his motivational gift. He may wonder why other people do not see what he sees and why they are not concerned about the things that concern him. The answer is that they probably have a different spiritual gift and are wondering the same thing about him. 2. Ministry gifts: opportunities of service given through the local church. The elders in a local church have the spiritual responsibility to watch over the spiritual condition of each member and to encourage each one to use his or her motivational gift. As God's blessing on a believer becomes obvious in the exercise of his motivational gift and as opportunities for ministry expand in the church, the elders are to ordain qualified believers for positions in the church and for ministry from the church. The types of ministry gifts are listed in I Corinthians 12:28. A second list is given in Ephesians 4:11, which includes apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. These gifts are "for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ" (Ephesians 4:12). 3. Manifestation gifts: the supernatural works that the Holy Spirit accomplishes as a believer exercises his or her motivational gift through the ministry opportunities of the local church. For example, an exhorter by motivation may teach a class, and through the exhorter's teaching, the Holy Spirit may produce supernatural results in the lives of the hearers. "For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues" (I Corinthians 12:8--10). Every believer has one motivational gift but can have several ministry and manifestation gifts based on his life calling and the blessing of God upon the carrying out of that calling. 15 5. Search Out the Critical Needs of Fellow Believers Nehemiah's life calling:" ... I asked them concerning the Jews that had escaped .... When I heard these words, ... I sat down and wept, and mourned certain days, and fasted, and prayed before the God of heaven" (Nehemiah 1:2, 4). Nehemiah developed a personal concern for the welfare of God's people. He took the initiative to find out about their physical and spiritual condition. When he learned of their desperate plight, he made it his personal responsibility to seek a way to help them. Helping them became his life calling. His life work was serving the king, but his life calling took precedence, and the king gave him a temporary leave of absence, a letter of authorization, and resources from the treasury and forests in order to carry out his calling. Our Responsibility to Know Needs It is easy for us to be isolated from the cries of the poor and needy. However, God gives us a powerful warning about this: "If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? and shall not he render to every man according to his works?" (Proverbs 24:11-12). These verses certainly describe the destruction that is taking place in our day as millions of unsuspecting young people are being drawn away by rock music, secular philosophies, occult games, internet pornography, and other evil things to the destructive culture of drugs, immorality, rebellion, and death. Rescuing those in danger must be done under proper jurisdiction. Nehemiah received authorization from a secular king to fulfill the calling of rescue. We are also able to gain favor with proper authorities and assist them in the fulfillment of their God-given duties to praise those who do well and punish those who do evil. (See Romans 13:3.) 6. Confirm Life Callings With the Rhemas of God's Word A life calling will be confirmed by the Holy Spirit through specific passages of Scripture that He uses to illuminate our hearts and mind. Jesus explained that " ... man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word [rhema] of God" (Luke 4:4). There are two Greek terms that are both translated word. The first is logos, and the second is rhema. The entire Bible is the infallible logos of God. It is inspired and without error. As we read and study the logos, the Holy Spirit guides us to particular passages that have specific application to our lives. These rhemas are extremely important in confirming God's calling for our lives. An example of the use of rhema is Jesus' instruction to Peter to launch out into the keep and let down the nets. Peter explained that they had fished all night and had caught nothing and then added," ... Nevertheless at thy word [rhema] I will let down the net" (Luke 5:5). As you read through Scripture and the Holy Spirit causes certain verses to stir your heart and soul, write them down, memorize them, and meditate upon them. Jesus promised, "If ye abide in me, and my words [rhemas] abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you" Gohn 15:7). God will confirm a life calling with several rhemas. " ... In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word [rhema] be established" (II Corinthians 13:1). 16 7. Begin by Fulfilling General Life Callings If you have not identified a specific life calling, you should begin to concentrate on the following general life callings that are given to every believer. In the process of working on these, you will see more clearly the particular life calling that God has created you to fulfill. 1. Pray for All Those in Authority I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth" (I Timothy 2:1--4). 11 This was Paul's first instruction to Timothy, which means that it was foundational to all the rest of his ministry. Attached to this charge of praying for all in authority are two significant results. The first is that we will live a quiet and peaceable life in all Godliness and sincerity. The second is that many will come to salvation and the knowledge of truth. We are commanded in II Peter 1:10 to" ... give diligence to make your calling and election sure." The following guide is designed to help us "give diligence" in praying for all those who are in authority: □ Place a map of your community on the wall. □ Compile a list of all local authorities. Compiling this list means gathering the names of all government officials, all business owners, and all pastors in your community. The list may be quite long, yet this is an excellent way for God to enlarge your heart and increase your faith. Our hearts are as big as our prayer lists, and we cannot have big faith with a little heart. C Pray regularly for each authority on your list. Some families have chosen to pray for certain types of authorities on certain days. If your list is more extensive, it may take a longer time to get through the list. Pray for each one by name and make intercession for them. Pray that God will give them wisdom, protection, courage, and health. Ten Dangers That Cause Leaders to Fail Pride-Believing that you achieved what, in reality, God and others have done for you and through you. Failing to deflect praise to others. Fear of rejection-Desiring the praise of people more than the approval of God. Willingness to compromise unpopular convictions. Unwise advisers-Following counsel based on human reasoning rather than on the timeless principles of God's Word. Neglect of the poor--Giving favors to the rich while not responding to the cries of the widow, fatherless, and poor. Failure to act "in the day you hear it"-Hoping problems will go away rather than investigating a matter and dealing wisely with it in the day you hear about it. 17 Love of money-Believing that money can achieve what only God can do, thus making money an idol. Accepting tainted money. Sacrificing convictions or relationships for money. Lust-Committing mental or physical adultery. Failing to avoid all appearance of evil. Rejection of critics-Refusing to see personal "blind spots" or deal with them. Failing to thank critics for their help. Wrong priori ties-Allowing your job to crowd out vital time with the Lord or family. Keeping appointments with others but not with God or family members. Focus on retirement-Losing the sense of warfare and vigilance. Making soft choices, desiring a life of ease. Giving in to discouragement. Forgetting that it is always too soon to quit and that a person is indestructible until his work is done. LJ Be alert to opportunities to meet each leader. God will give you opportunities to meet the leaders for whom you are praying. When you talk with them, you should express the following ideas: "Our family has been praying for you." (Give them a photo card of your family.) "God instructs us to pray for you because of the extra pressures that you and your family face as a leader in our community. We are praying that God will give you and your family wisdom, protection, health, and success." "If there are any specific pressures that we can pray about, we would be honored to hear from you day or night. Our number is on the back of the family photo." 0 Treasure each request that is given to you. There will probably be four types of requests that you will receive from leaders: (1) health problems, (2) conflicts with a rebellious son or daughter, (3) business or financial pressures, and (4) if they trust you to keep confidences, marriage problems. When they give you a request, write it down in your prayer journal. Get as many specific details as are appropriate and necessary to pray intelligently. Ask the leader if he would like you to give him some information that would help him understand the problem. :::J Select resources for an attractive presentation to give to the leader There are resources that are available from IBLP in each of their areas of request: 1. Health problems-Basic CARE Bulletins 2. Rebellious children-Basic Seminar; the Follow-Up Course; Character Booklets; and other materials 3. Business or financial pressures-Financial Freedom Seminar; Men's Manual, Volume II; Character First!® Program for businesses 4. Marriage problems-Basic Seminar I and Basic Seminar II (Advanced), Rebuilder's Guide; How to Have Intimacy in Marriage video. When appropriate, gather additional materials for an attractive presentation that you can present to the leader. 18 How to Design a Presentation in Response to a Basic Need Suppose a leader asks you to pray for his fifteen-year-old son who has become involved with wrong friends and drugs. The following outline could be used to put together information that would help him understand his son and take wise steps of action. 1. Basic Causes of Teen Drug Involvement • • • • • • Peer dependence-desire for acceptance (distinguish from peer pressure) Rock music-designed for the drug culture (it is extremely addictive) Alienation from parents or siblings (often a result of parents' conflicts with each other) Escape from guilt, anger, and tension (need to deal with hidden failures) Curiosity and exploration (easy access makes this a dangerous trap) Desire for financial gain (by selling drugs to friends and others) 2. General Understanding of Youth and Rebellion • The myth and consequences of adolescence (children should become adults at the age of 12) • Three questions to answer by the age of 12 (friends? response to authority? giver or taker?) • Five types of fools and treatments (see explanation in Counseling Booklet Seven) • Tracing surface problems to root causes (Basic Seminar; Basic Seminar Textbook) 3. Specific Steps to Deal With Drug Abuse • • • • • • • • • Determine his relationship with God and Jesus Christ (is he a born-again believer?) Evaluate his respect for parents and the law (does he care what his parents think?) Build a foundation for Biblical Law (show him Ten "Cannons" of God's Law video) Remove him from all negative influences (rock music, wrong friends, drugs, movies) Secure full confession of all wrongdoing (unconfessed sin hinders victory) Get clear conscience and make full restitution (return stolen items; correct falsehoods) Identify and resolve root problems (bitterness, greed, moral impurity) Instill Godly purposes and goals in life (use this booklet as a resource) Engraft Scripture into his mind, will, and emotions (use the Secret of Success Alumni Supplement or the Basic Seminar Follow-Up Course) • Work on twelve types of hearts (Counseling Booklet Nine) 4. Response to a Further Call for Help • • • • • Evaluate the atmosphere of the home (what things are contributing to his delinquency?) Consider the need to relocate son (Log Cabin Program, if possible) Go through Firm Foundations-Creation to Christ (produced by New Tribes Mission") Arrange for family to attend the Basic Seminar (this is vital for lasting results) Go through the Basic Seminar Follow-Up Course (this will help principles to be established in their lives) • Provide opportunities to serve others (give training on Character First!® Education Program) In the process of organizing this material into an attractive presentation, your family will experience a wealth of practical learning in this important area of life. A similar presentation can be developed for any other prayer request, and a wide area of training will be achieved. •obtainable from Bookroom • New Tribes Mission Publications• 1000 East 1st St.• Sanford, FL 32771-1487 • 800-321-5375 or 407-323-3430 --- 19 2. Do Good Unto All Men 11 Let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10). • •• The most effective way to fulfill our goal of leading people to Christ is to be zealous of good works. In fact, God redeemed us for this purpose. "Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a [unique] people, zealous of good works" (Titus 2:14). The only practical way that we can do good unto all men is by serving the public officials who are over all those in a given jurisdiction. A mayor is "a minister of God for doing good." (See Romans 13:3.) By strengthening his hand through prayer and good works, we are helping him to do good to all those in his jurisdiction. The same thing is true if we assist the president of a company or the pastor of a church. Definition of a good work A good work is a selfless service performed under the direction of a God-ordained authority. It is to be carried out so that the person who is helped will be benefited and will glorify God. The one who gets the credit will not be you but will be the one whom you are representing. For example, if your family is able to encourage the residents of a nursing home, plan ahead by seeking permission to represent an authority who is responsible for their welfare (e.g., a pastor or chaplain, the mayor, or the home's administrator). In this way, when the residents express gratefulness for your visit, you can deflect the praise to another person and qualify your deed as a good work. Scripture affirms the importance of serving leaders in this way. "Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work" (Titus 3:1). The importance of having others get the credit for what God accomplishes through us is emphasized in Romans 12:10: " ... in honour preferring one another." The Vital Importance of Good Works • Good works must begin at home-The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 is an example of good works to her husband, to her children, to her assistants, to the community, and to the poor. In order for a widow to be supported by the church, she must be "well reported of for good works ... if she have diligently followed every good work" (I Timothy 5:10). Wealthy men are instructed to do good and" ... be rich in good works ... " (I Timothy 6:18). • Good works are our best defense-"Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation" (I Peter 2:12). • Good works are an expression of spiritual maturity-"That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works" (II Timothy 3:17). " ... These 1 things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works ..." (Titus 3:8). "In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works ... " (Titus 2:7). "And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works" (Hebrews 10:24). 20 3. Assist Needy Widows and Fatherless Children uPure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction ... " Games 1:27). God has given special instructions for the protection and care of four categories of people. Each group is especially vulnerable to exploitation. "And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor ... " (Zechariah 7:10). 1. Widows • "Ye shall not afflict any widow ... " (Exodus 22:22). • "The LORD ... relieveth ... the widow ... " (Psalm 146:9). • " ... Plead for the widow" (Isaiah 1:17). • "The LORD ... will establish the border of the widow" (Proverbs 15:25). 2. Fatherless children • "Ye shall not afflict any ... fatherless child" (Exodus 22:22). • "Defend the ... fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy" (Psalm 82:3). • "The LORD ... relieveth the fatherless ... " (Psalm 146:9). 3. Strangers within your gate • "The LORD preserveth the strangers ... " (Psalm 146:9). • "Thou shalt not pervert the judgment of the stranger ... " (Deuteronomy 24:17). • " ... Do no violence to the stranger ... " Geremiah 22:3). 4. The poor of the land • "He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again" (Proverbs 19:17). • "Defend the poor ... do justice to the afflicted and needy" (Psalm 82:3). Because each of these groups is vulnerable to financial schemers and to those who exploit them for their own benefit, there is need for believers to visit them, find out their needs and, if they are being oppressed, defend them through proper channels. There will be a need to give them counsel and encouragement in important decisions. There is also a need to give fatherless children a sense of belonging. The widow or single mother needs to be counseled not to try to replace the father with a stepfather or boyfriend. Timothy provides a role model of growing up in a family where the father was not the spiritual leader. His wise mother and grandmother taught him the Scriptures from his infancy, provided unified discipline, and motivated him to admire Godly heroes outside the family. Working with single parent families A growing percentage of schoolchildren in America are coming from single-parent families. There may be a father interacting with the family; however, for all practical purposes, that family may have the same needs as the widow and fatherless. Children from single parent homes usually have an additional problem of trying to harmonize two opposing authorities on decisions for their lives. If the mother brings in another husband or male friend, the protective instinct of the older son rises up, and conflict usually occurs between the son and the interloper. The older son needs special training and encouragement to be loyal to his mother and brothers and sisters. The family also needs financial counsel and legal help when they are taken advantage of. God ordained the Church to take care of these groups. 21 4. Make Disciples of All Nations "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you ..." (Matthew 28:19-20). In order for those whom we win to Christ to become "lasting fruit," we need to make sure they are discipled in the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul discipled those whom he won to Christ. His purpose was to have the character of Christ formed in them. "My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you" (Galatians 4:19). The sequence of teaching could follow the outline of II Peter 1:1-10: 1. Beginning with faith-Faith of salvation and principles of God's way of life 2. Add to your faith virtue-Specific character qualities for actions and attitudes 3. Add to your virtue knowledge-The knowledge of God's purposes 4. Add to your knowledge self-control-Disciplines based on God's design 5. Add to your self-control patience-Maturity through suffering 6. Add to your patience Godliness-Commitments to holiness and purity 7. Add to your Godliness brotherly kindness-Exercising a listening heart 8. Add to your brotherly kindness love-Reproducing God's character The goal of discipleship is helping new believers to mature in their faith so that they in tum can lead others to salvation. Discipleship involves a personal commitment and relationship between the one being discipled and the one doing the discipleship. It involves spiritual labor and travail. Those who are saved out of a turbulent background especially need to learn how to gain a clear conscience, get under authority, remove iniquities of the forefathers, and achieve moral purity. By your diligently carrying out these general callings, the Holy Spirit will confirm to you the specific calling that He has for your life. Select Your Life Work "Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you" (II Thessalonians 3:8). Your life work is any legitimate job that will allow you to fulfill your life calling. It does not have to be a job of great prestige because your recognition will not be by your life work but by your life calling. • Paul was called to be an Apostle-his life work was tent-making • Nehemiah was called to serve the remnant-his life work was the king's cupbearer • Peter was called to lead the early Church-his life work was fishing • Elisha was called to serve Elijah-his life work was farming • Luke was called to serve Paul-his life work was being a physician With our focus on our life calling, rather than our life work, we are not subjected to the normal pressures, competition, and insecurities that usually accompany a vocation. 22 Record Your Life Message "Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy