Effective Counseling PDF

J\hnanrrh Wraining 1Jnntitutr of America A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counse{ing PART TWO A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PARTTWO 1 What Is the Primary Prerequisite for Counseling? ........ 3 2 When Should We Not Counsel a Person? ................... 5 3 Can You Disce...

J\hnanrrh Wraining 1Jnntitutr of America A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN 'Effective Counse{ing PART TWO A COMPREHENSIVE COURSE IN EFFECTIVE COUNSELING PARTTWO 1 What Is the Primary Prerequisite for Counseling? ........ 3 2 When Should We Not Counsel a Person? ................... 5 3 Can You Discern Five Types of Fools? ...................... 6 • A Simple Fool • A Scorning Fool • A Silly Fool • A Steadfast Fool • A Sensual Fool 4 5 6 7 Why Must Counseling Begin With "Ground"? ........... 10 How Can Tormentors Help Conquer Strongholds? ....... 11 In What Three Ways Is "Ground" Surrendered? .......... 12 Can You Trace Problems to Surrendered "Ground"? .... 13 • Why did David fall into adultery? • Why did Eli's sons rebel? • Why did Asa have a foot disease and an outburst of anger? 8 Why Are Personal Decisions Basic to Counseling? ...... 17 9 Why Is It Important to Verbalize Decisions? ............. 21 10 Counseling Quiz Number Two ............................. 23 the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him ... " (II Chronicles 16:9) . ✓✓For .l\l)uaurrl) IDraiuiug ]untitutr of .America Box One • Oak Brook, IL 60522-3001 • (708) 323-9800 2 WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PREREQUISITE FOR COUNSELING? The person you begin to counsel will usually have one primary question in his mind: "What is your motive in trying to help me?" D "Are you doing it to get money?" □ "Are you simply doing your job?" D D D D "Are you trying to convert me to your religion?" "Are you trying out your counseling methods on me?" "Am I irritating you or embarrassing you?" "Do you want to tell others about my problems and how you solved them?" None of these reasons should explain why we are counseling a person. To the degree that any one of these applies to us, it will definitely be sensed by the one to whom we are talking. Rather, our motivation must be the genuine love of Christ. God's love gives without motive of personal reward. It is not diminished by the lack of response from the one being loved. Its reward is in seeing the person who is counseled experience the joy of finding God's goal for his life and fulfilling that goal. Having the Right Purpose in Life A young man was asked to explain his purpose in life. He gave a very profound answer: "When I was younger, I wondered what I would do in life. I wanted to be successful, and I tried to think of what profession I could go into so I would be fulfilled. Then I discovered a verse in the Bible that gave me the direction for which I was looking: "'... Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him"' (I Corinthians 2:9). The young man continued, "I realized that if my goal in life is to love the Lord, I will not be able to comprehend His plans for my future. Therefore, I have made the goal of my life to love the Lord my God with all of my heart, with all of my soul, with all of my mind, and with all of my strength." (See Mark 12:30.) 3 Loving the Lord means keeping His commandments. Jesus said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15). He gave three promises to those who do this. "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him" (John 14:21). Anyone who is loved by the Father and by Christ, and who has Christ made known to him, will have a special ability to give wise and insightful counsel to others. All counsel, as well as all the things that happen to us, is related to the goal of knowing Christ and being conformed to His image. (See Romans 8:28--29.) Keeping His commandments means loving others. "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also" (I John 4:20-21). Those who receive counsel from you must be convinced that it is being given out of a heart of genuine love. They will be able to discern this only if you love the Lord with all of your heart and soul and mind and strength. It is on the basis of loving God that we do things for others, because Jesus said, "... Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:40). Keeping His commandments produces light in our eyes. The whole purpose of giving counsel is to provide light for others to follow. Without the light of God's truth, people stumble in the darkness. (See Proverbs 4:18-19.) We are to be the light of the world. (See Matthew 5:14.) In Matthew 6:22 Jesus explained precisely how we are to be that light: "The light of the body is the eye .... " We are to let the light of our eyes so shine before men that they will see the good works that we do for them and glorify our Father Who is in Heaven. (See Matthew 5:16.) Having the Light of Christ in our eyes is also a vital means of discerning the motives of those who come to us for counsel. Those who want the truth will come to the Light. Those who are evil will stay away from the light lest their deeds be reproved. (See John 3:20-21.) - Many counselors spend countless hours of useless time trying to help those who do not really want to be free from their evil deeds. On the other hand, those who are eager for lasting results will be open to one who radiates love for God and the light of truth. The relationship between the commandments and the light in our eyes is given in Psalm 19:8: "... The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes." When we counsel someone with light in our eyes, the light he sees causes his heart to rejoice. "The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart ... " (Proverbs 15:30). 4 KNOW WHEN NOT TO GIVE COUNSEL The first task in learning how to help someone is knowing how to give wise counsel. The second task is knowing when it is not right or appropriate to counsel a person. When counsel is unwisely given, it is not only iniquity, because it is apart from. God's direction, but it also often produces serious reaction, which greatly hinders a person from. receiving the truth. 1 When You Have Not Been Given Permission by an Authority The first question to ask yourself when someone requests counsel is, "Who is responsible for this person?" If you are talking to a son or daughter, it is vital that you go throug~ his or her parents. Even if the son or daughter is legally of age, it is still wise to get permission from. the parents before you give any counsel. A church was sued by the parents of a boy who had gone to the church for counsel and later com.m.itted suicide. The father personally told us that if the church had first contacted him. and offered to assist him. in working out his son's problems, he never would have filed the lawsuit. 2 When You Have Not Yet Asked God for Wisdom In order to give counsel from. God's point of view, we m.ust first ask for His wisdom.. Without His wisdom., we are left to our own ideas and understanding. The result of this counsel is confusion and destruction. "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death" (Proverbs 14:12). 3 When You Have Not Yet Heard the Whole Problem "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him" (Proverbs 18:13). When a person begins to tell you about a problem., he will usually begin with a "respectable" problem.. It is therefore wise to ask, "In addition to that, is there any other problem. that is troubling you?" Them.ore skilled you become in counseling, them.ore capable you will be in asking the questions that will reveal deeper problems. For example, if a m.an tells you he has a problem. with anger, it might also be appropriate to ask, "Do you also have a problem. with lust?" because the two usually go together. 4 When You Are Talking to a Sensual, Scorning, or Steadfast Fool Scripture warns that if you try to counsel certain types of fools, you will get a blot to your nam.e. A sensual fool will despise the wisdom. of your words. (See Proverbs 23:9.) A scorning fo.ol will hate you and dam.age your reputation. (See Proverbs 22:10.) A steadfast fool is closed-minded, unreasonable, and rejects God. (See Psalm 14:1.) Each of these types of fools m.ust be disciplined by his authorities and by the Lord. 5 HOW TO DISTINGUISH FIVE TYPES OF FOOLS The Hebrew language contains precise definitions of various types of fools. Unfortunately, these distinctions were lost when the Hebrew Old Testament was translated into English. A wise counselor needs to understand the various types of fools so he will know how to respond to each one. 1 The Simple Fool effect sequences that affect every area of life. "A prudent man forseeth the evil, and hideth himself but the simple [pethiy1 pass on and are punished" (Proverbs 22:3). Scorning fools (see page 8) will seek out simple fools and become their heroes. For this reason, it is important to bring swift and decisive correction to scorning fools. "Smite a scorner, and the simple [pethiy] will beware ... " (Proverbs 19:25). The Hebrew word for "simple fool" is pethiy (peth-EE). The root word implies extreme vulnerability. It literally means "to be opened up." The simple fool opens his mind to any passing thought and his arms to any passing stranger. He is open to all kinds of enticements and deceptions because he has not yet developed discernment. The simple fool is dangerously immature, extremely gullible, and intensely curious. Without instruction and consistent discipline, the simple fool will quickly progress into greater foolishness. The Proverbs are designed to give instruction to the simple fool: "The proverbs ... give subtilty to the simple [pethiy] ... " (Proverbs 1:1, 4). A simple fool is especially vulnerable to seductive women and lacks understanding of the irreversible consequences of surrendering to temptation. "[I) beheld among the simple ones [pethiyl, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding" (Proverbs 7:7). The simple fool views life as simple and fails to see the intricate cause-and- Norman Rockwell captures the emotions of a foolish boy being disciplined and the various responses of others watching. 2 The Silly Fool "He goeth after her [the strange woman] straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool [eviyl] to the correction of the stocks" (Proverbs 7:22). The Hebrew word for "silly fool" is eviyl (ev-EEL), which means "one who has morally missed the mark." His curiosity and rejection of parental authority have caused him to violate his moral purity. This word literally means "to be thick," as in thickheaded or stupid. It also carries with it the idea of being insolent or twisted. "... Fools [eviyl] die for want of wisdom" (Proverbs 10:21). A silly fool reacts to instruction. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools [eviyl] despise wisdom and instruction" (Proverbs 1:7). A silly fool believes that his own way of thinking is right. "The way of a fool [eviyl] is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise" (Proverbs 12:15). Arguing with a silly fool is useless, because he will learn only by punishment. "If a wise man contendeth with a foolish [eviylJ man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest" (Proverbs 29:9). When things go wrong for a fool, he becomes angry, and more damage is done. "A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's [eviyl] wrath is heavier than them both" (Proverbs 27:3). The mouth of the silly fool gets him in trouble. "It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool [eviyl] will be meddling" (Proverbs 20:3). "Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish [eviyl] is near destruction" (Proverbs 10:14). If a silly fool would simply close his mouth, he would improve people's opinion of him. "Even a fool [eviyl] when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding" (Proverbs 17:28). The silly fool will be corrected by proper authorities bringing him to public shame, rather than by well-meaning friends giving him private counsel. The stocks used in the Colonial era of early America were designed to humble silly fools by exposing them to public shame. 3 The Sensual Fool One who fails to receive the correction of parents or public authorities or reacts to it will become a sensual fool. This fool is identified in Scripture by the Hebrew word kfciyl (kess-EEL). The word literally means "to be fat; to be sluggish, thick, dull, or obstinate." The word denotes one who has a bent for making wrong choices. The sensual fool does not have a mental deficiency but rather rejects the wisdom of God and is arrogantly set on doing what brings him immediate pleasure. His god is his belly, and he glories in what he should be ashamed of. "It is as sport to a fool [kfciyl] to do mischief . .. " (Proverbs 10:23). " ... It is an abomina- tion to fools [kfciyl] to depart from evil" (Proverbs 13:19; see also verse 20). 7 A sensual fool appears to be prosperous and therefore becomes an object of envy to simple and silly fools. The prosperity of fools [lceciyll shall destroy them" 11 • •• (Proverbs 1:32). 11 We are warned in Proverbs 23:9, Speak not in the ears of a fool [lceciyl]: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words." Instead of counsel, God calls for severe punishment for the sensual fool: "A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's [lceciyll back" (Proverbs 26:3). "Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools [lceciyl]" (Proverbs 19:29). "A fool's [lceciyl] lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes. A fool's [lceciyl] mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul" (Proverbs 18:6-7). The motives and methods of a sensual fool are very subtile. He should be avoided, because he will lead astray those who follow him. " ... A companion of fools [lceciyl] shall be destroyed" (Proverbs 13:20). Scripture gives more warnings about the sensual fool than about any other type of fool. 4 The Scorning Fool The Hebrew word for "scorning fool" is luwts (LOOTS). It literally means "to make mouths at." The scorning fool uses facial expressions to communicate the disdain and i:ontempt he has in his heart for parents, civil authorities, and God's ways. The scorning fool has not only rejected truth but has also embraced that which is an abomination to God. The scorning fool shows abhorrence and repugnance toward people and ideas which contradict his erroneous conclusions. He expresses his scorn through derisive attitudes and behavior as well as in speech. "... Scorners [luwts] delight in their scorning ... " (Proverbs 1:22). Because a sensual fool rejects the discipline of his parents and fails to respond to public shame, he must receive more severe punishment. Ship captains of the colonial era understood this and followed the practice of public discipline on board their ships. A sensual fool is unreasonable. "A foolish [lceciyll son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him" (Proverbs 17:25). 8 The word luwts is also used to refer to an interpreter. Rather than interpreting in a normal way, however, the scorning fool mimics Godly people in order to dishonor, mock, and ridicule them for their righteous standards. A scorner has no capacity to respond to wisdom, even though he may say he desires it. "A scorner [luwts] seeketh wisdom and find- eth it not ... " (Proverbs 14:6). A scorner does not understand wisdom because he rejects completely the instruction of his parents. "A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner [luwts] heareth not rebuke" (Proverbs 13:1). Any unauthorized person who tries to discipline a scorner will pay for it. "He that reproveth a scorner [luwts] getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot. Reprove not a scorner [luwts], lest he hate thee ... " (Proverbs 9:7-8). "A scorner [luwts] loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise" (Proverbs 15:12). It is vital that a scorner receive proper discipline but then be separated from others. "Smite a scorner [luwts], and the simple [pethiy] will beware . .. "(Proverbs 19:25). "When the scorner [luwts] is punished, the simple [pethiy] is made wise ..." (Proverbs 21:11). "Cast out the scorner [luwts], and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease" (Proverbs 22:10). 5 The Stead£ast Fool The fifth stage of foolishness is identified by the word nabal (naw-BAWL), which means "stupid or wicked." It comes from the root word nabel (naw-BALE), meaning "to wilt; to fall away; to fail; to faint." The term relates to one who is morally wicked, who despises holiness and is a disgrace to his family and to all those who have tried to help him. "He that begetteth a fool [lceciyl] doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool [nabal] hath no joy" (Proverbs 17:21). A steadfast fool is self-confident and closed-minded. Not only is he completely committed to being his own god and gratifying his lower nature, but he has also dedicated his life to drawing as many others as he can into his evil ways. "The fool [nabal] hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good" (Psalm 14:1). He will creep into houses, families, churches, and Godly institutions and lead captive the simple and the weak. Steadfast fools are accurately defined in the book of Jude: "For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ . ... "These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear: clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots" (Jude 4, 12). The name Nabal was given to one in Scripture who lived up to its meaning. He was a wealthy man, but his servants said, " ... He is such a son of Belia[, that a man cannot speak to him" (I Samuel 25:17). When David tried to reason with N abal, N abal railed back at him. David then became bitter at Nabal. Trying to counsel a steadfast fool will be equally futile and will bring frustration to one who tries to do it. Instead, God must be the one to deal with him. 9 WHY MUST COUNSELING BEGIN WITH "GROUND"? God's Spirit Perversion SelfRejection Doubts Fears Jealousy THE SOUL: The Battleground Between God and Satan High Blood Pressure Insomnia Allergies Back Pain THEBODY The goal of counseling is to help people see and respond to life from God's perspective. If, however, the person we try to counsel has given "ground" to Satan, Satan will build strongholds_ of false reasonings on that "ground." As long as Satan controls this "ground," our counseling will be ineffective, and the individual will continue to make wrong choices. God has given to us mighty weapons to pull down these strongholds, but first the individual must identify the sins which have given "ground" to Satan, claim the blood of Christ for those sins, and then ask God to take back the "ground." THE SPIRIT: When a person becomes a believer, God's Spirit unites with his spirit to confirm that he is a child of God. (See Romans 8:16.) At that moment, he is sealed by the Holy Spirit into an eternal relationship with God. (See Ephesians 1:13-14.) A man's spirit communicates directly with God and also with his soul. "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24). Many Psalms express conversations between the spirit and the soul, as in Psalm 42: "Why art thou cast down, 0 my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God" (Psalm 42:11). 10 THE SOUL: The word soul comes from the Greek word psuche, from which we get the term psychology. The soul consists of the mind, will, and emotions. The soul continues to be the battleground between God and Satan, even after salvation. Even as the spirit is born again at salvation, the soul needs to be "conquered," aspictured by the land of Canaan in the Old Testament. Canaan was the land of promised blessing, but first it had to be conquered, because there were entrenched strongholds, such as the walled cities of Jericho and Ai. The soul is "conquered" by our asking God to take back the "ground" we gave to Satan and then by pulling down the "strongholds" of wrong thinking with the truth of God's Word. (See II Corinthians 10:4-5.) Only God's Word has the power to transform our souls as we engraft it. Jesus secured the legal title to our souls when he conquered Satan on the cross and blotted out the legal document of Satan's accusations against us. (See Colossians 2:14-15.) We must apply Christ's victory to each area of the soul in the same way that the Israelites had to conquer each parcel of land in Canaan. Whatever area the Israelites did not conquer became a future source of torment and defeat to them. The only authority Satan has in the soul is that which we surrender to him. (See Ephesians 4:27; see also James 1:21.) Christ's death, burial, and resurrection, however, have given us the spiritual authority by which we can overcome Satan. (See Revelation 12:11.) · THE BODY: The physical body is directly affected by what happens in the soul if we fail to thoroughly transform the soul by regular self-examination at the Lord's Table. "For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep [have died]" (I Corinthians 11:30). Many physical disease:, can be directly traced to unresolved conflicts in the soul. Thus, God's will is the full sanctification of the spirit, soul, and body. (See I Thessalonians 5:23.) How Tormentors Can Help Conquer Strongholds When the servant refused to forgive one who owed him a small debt after he had been forgiven a huge debt, the Master consigned him to a prison with tormentors. (See Matthew 18:21-25.) The purpose of these tormentors was to motivate the servant to repent and seek the mercy of the Master so that he, in tum, would be able to show mercy to his debtors. When a person refuses. to respond to truth, it is amazingly effective to chart out the various types of "tormentors" that operate in Achan's deception became the "ground" the soul and then ask the person if he is experiencing any of them in his life. by which the nation of Israel was defeated. Bible An Series, Standard Publislung, Cincinnab 11 IN WHAT THREE WAYS DO WE SURRENDER HGROUND"? We are commanded in Ephesians 4:27 not to "give place to the devil." The word place refers to an area of jurisdiction. In warfare, opposing sides gain jurisdictional area whenever "ground" is surrendered. The context of Ephesians 4 refers to immorality (they "... have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness" verse 19), greed ("Let him that stole steal no more . .. "verse 28), and bitterness ("Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice" verse 31). 1 IMMORALITY (lust of the flesh) When Esau sold his birthright for the momentary satisfaction of his physical desires, he experienced a loss which he later tried to regain, even with tears. Timothy was told by Paul to keep himself from the contaminations of evil so he might "be a vessel unto honor ... prepared unto every good work" (II Timothy 2:21). 2 GREED (lust of the eyes) It is through the eyes that we see things which the heart begins to covet. God equates covetousness with idolatry. (See Ephesians 5:5.) Voluntary debt would be a sign of greed, because it is expressing a love for money rather than a love for the Lord by being content with what He has provided. "... The love of money is the root of all evil ... " (I Timothy 6:10). 3 BITTERNESS (pride of life) Scripture teaches that "only by pride cometh contention ... " (Proverbs 13:10). Thus, pride is the root sin of bitterness, "... and thereby many be defiled" (Hebrews 12:15). Satan was cast out of Heaven because of pride. Adam and Eve also fell through pride. "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever" (I John 2:15-17). 12 HOW TO TRACE PROBLEMS TO SURRENDERED ''GROUND'' II The more we understand about regaining the ground" of our souls that was surrendered to Satan by bitterness, greed, or immorality, and the more we learn how to use the mighty weapons for casting down the strongholds of false ideas which Satan builds on his ground," the better equipped we will be to help other people identify the root causes of their problems and give practical steps to resolve them. Notice how these truths illuminate the following testimony of Scripture: 11 HOW DAVID'S ANGER AGAINST NABAL RELATED TO HIS ADULTERY WITH BATHSHEBA While David and his six hundred men were hiding in the wilderness for fear of King Saul, they voluntarily protected the flocks of a very wealthy man named Nabal. David assumed that Nabal would reward him for his efforts. However, when Nabal refused to give him anything, David became bitter and ordered four hundred men to go with him to kill Nabal. (See I Samuel 25.) llible Art Series, Standard Publishing. CindnNli David refused to retaliate against Saul, even when Saul tried to kill him. Why then would David plan to kill Nabal, who did him no harm? • Because Nabal had not hired David and his men, and because there was never any agreement between the two men, it was presumption on David's part to think that he would be rewarded for his efforts. Because David looked to Nabal rather than to the Lord for his provisions, he became guilty of covetousness and idolatry (expecting from others what only God can give). THE STRONGHOLDS THAT CAME FROM BIITERNESS "Ground" Given Strongholds Iniquity Tormentors Greed-by coveting Nabal's sheep Bitterness-when Nabal refused to reward David David accepted the wrong idea that he had a right to take by force what he felt was rightfully his. When David saw Bathsheba, he decided that because she was in his kingdom, she belonged to him. God forgave David but told him that he would have continuous trouble in his family. 13 HOW GOD RELATES BITTERNESS TO ADULTERY u • •• The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple" (Psalm 19:7). According to the warning of Ephesians 4:27, David "gave place to the devil" when he got bitter at Nabal for not rewarding him with a gift from his flock. Once David gave "ground" to Satan through his greed and bitterness, Satan built upon that "ground" the false idea that if you think something is rightfully yours, you can take it by force. This false reasoning provided the justification to take Bathsheba for himself when he saw her, since she was a subject in his kingdom. BibleArtSo!ries,StandardPublishmg.Cindnnati When Nathan confronted David with his sin, it is significant that he used the analogy of a man stealing sheep. David's arranging the death of Bathsheba's husband was simply a necessary means of acquiring that which he felt was rightfully his. It is significant that this stronghold allowed him to continue his leadership for one year without any recorded guilt. When Nathan finally confronted David a year later, he used the analogy of a man stealing sheep from his neighbor. This brought immediate conviction to David. HOW ACTIONS,- AND EMOTIONS REVEAL STRONGHOLDS When you are confronted with a problem, it is vital that you see it in the context of Scripture rather than from your own perspective. The first column to fill in will probably be a clear description of inappropriate words, actions, or attitudes (column three). After identifying the problem, it is important to determine the wrong ideas from which it came (column two). Wrong ideas are defined in Scripture as strongholds. (See II Corinthians 10:4-5.) After identifying the stronghold, it is important to trace it back to the "ground" given to Satan by bitterness, greed, or immorality (column one). This same procedure could also begin with column four, which identifies the "tormentors" of destructive results. In many cases, this will be the chief concern that brings a person to the point of seeking counsel. He may be experiencing depression, fear, financial problems, ·or difficulties with rebellious children, and no one has ever helped him to relate these problems to surrendered "ground," wrong ideas, or wrong actions. 1 Surrendered ,✓ Ground" 14 2 Wrong Ideas (strongholds) 3 Wrong Actions (iniquity) 4 Wrong Results (tormentors) HOW ELI'S INDULGENCE AND GREED RELATED TO HIS SONS' IMMORALITY There is much truth in the statement, "What parents allow in moderation, their children excuse in excess." This was certainly the case with Eli. He gave "ground" to Satan by his lust for the fat in the offerings. He himself became grossly overweight. Eli also had serious problems with his rebellious sons. Their immorality and ruthless seizing of forbidden offerings caused the nation to abhor the worship of the Lord in the Tabernacle. God warned Eli through the complaints of the people, then through a prophet, and then through Samuel. Eli scolded his sons for their evil practices; however, he refused to restrain them. When God finally judged Eli and his sons, He said to Eli, "You have preferred your sons over Me." Why would God blame Eli for the wickedness of his sons? Why would Eli fail to exercise proper discipline with his sons? The answer is again seen in the sequence of giving "ground" to Satan. How Eli Gave "Ground" to Satan "Ground" Given Wrong Ideas Wrong Actions Tormentors Eli encouraged his sons to seize the fat and choice parts from the offerings, even though they were forbidden. Eli became overweight. Eli's needs were to be met by the offerings of the people. Eli assumed this ineluded the fulfillment of his sensual lusts as well. Because Eli was guilty of using his position to satisfy his lusts, he could neither clearly see his sons' errors nor discipline them. God raised up the Philistines to afflict Israel. They killed Eli's sons, and Eli died the same day from heart failure and a broken neck. In the Law, God strictly forbade the priests from eating the fat of the offerings and gave specific instructions as to which parts of the meat they could eat. (See Leviticus 3:17; 7:31-34.) The rest belonged to the Lord. Eli's iniquity in the areas of greed and self-indulgence affected his sons also, because the iniquities of the fathers are passed on to their children. (See Exodus 20:5.) Therefore, in order to deal with the rebellion and immorality of Eli's sons, the iniquities of the forefathers and resulting strongholds would have had to first be identified and acknowledged. The sons would have then needed to confess their own wrong actions and reclaim "ground" in their lives. They also would have needed to establish commitments which could have guarded them from falling into the same areas of iniquity again, because they would have had greater weaknesses in the areas of their forefathers' iniquities and their own previous failures. (See I Samuel 2-4.) 15 HOW DID ASA'S OUTBURST OF ANGER REVEAL A ROOT OF INCOMPLETE OBEDIENCE? The story of Asa is an exciting chapter of revival and restoration in the history of the kingdom. of Judah. In it, however, God does record one flaw, and that flaw became the "ground" that Asa gave to Satan, upon which Satan built a stronghold which brought wrong decisions and deadly tormentors to Asa and the whole kingdom.. "And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made. And also Maachah his mother, even her he removed from being queen, because she had made an idol in a grove, and Asa destroyed her idol, and burnt it by the brook Kidron. "But the high places were not removed: nevertheless Asa's heart was perfect with the Lord all his days. And he brought in the things which his father had dedicated, and the things which himself had dedicated, into the house of the Lord, silver, and gold, and vessels. "And there was war between Asa and Baasha king of Israel all their days. And Baasha king of Israel went up against Judah, and built Ramah that he might not suffer any to go out or come in to Asa king of Judah. "And Asa took all the silver and the gold that were left in the treasures of the house of the Lord, and the treasures of the king's house, and delivered them into the hand of his servants: and king Asa sent them to Ben-hadad, the son of Tabrimon, the son of Hezion, king of Syria, that dwelt at Damascus, saying, There is a league between me and thee, and between my father and thy father . .. "(I Kings 15:11-19). "And at that time Hanani the seer came to Asa, king of Judah, and said unto him, Because thou hast relied on the king of Syria, and not relied on the Lord thy God .... Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars. Then Asa was wroth with the seer, and put him in a prison house; for he was in a rage with him because of this thing. And Asa oppressed some of the people the same time" (II Chronicles 16:7-10). How Asa Gave J'J'Ground" to Satan "Ground" Given Wrong Ideas Wrong Actions Tormentors "But the high places II were not removed ... Asa came to the conclusion that things dedicated to God were not holy and could be used for other purposes also. Asa took gold and silver vessels that had been dedicated to God for use in the Temple and used them for his own program. Asa became exceedingly angry, and the nation had continuous wars. His feet became so severely diseased that he died. (I Kings 15:14). (The high places were altars used for the worship of both God and idols.) 16 HOW TO GUIDE OTHERS TO BASIC DECISIONS No matter how accurate we are in analyzing a problem, we will never solve it until we take the further steps on the counseling chart in the first counseling booklet. First, we need to see the problem as it relates to the Law of God. "The law of the Lord is perfect, converting [turning around] the soul [mind, will, and emotions] ... " (Psalm 19:7). The more we meditate upon the Law of God, the more skillful we will become in identifying the "ground" that has been surrendered, the wrong ideas and actions which resulted, and the tormentors that are prescribed by the Law. After searching out the justice of God's Law, we need to see how we have no excuse for our failures, because God has given to us a cloud of witnesses and the testimonies in Scripture. These people have experienced every conceivable problem we could face and have taken the right steps to be victorious. "... The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple" (Psalm 19:7). The most significant column for counseling involves explaining the ways of God, which are opposite to our ways. This is done by applying the Law to a particular situation and understanding the Biblical concepts that are involved in the application. When these concepts are accurate, they have a "ring of truth" to them, because "the.statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart ... " (Psalm 19:8). What counsel would apply to David's sin? 5 Law of God (converts the soul) The Tenth Commandment is "Thou shalt not covet ...." The Sixth Commandment is "Thou shalt not kill." These are among the Commandments David broke when he desired Nabal's sheep and Uriah's wife. (See Exodus 20.) The Law also has precise regulations on fourfold restitution for stealing sheep. Thus, when David commanded that the one who had stolen and eaten the lamb should be killed, he was going beyond the provision of the Law. The Law is a schoolmaster to bring us to conviction and to Christ. It is by the Law that we understand sin. 6 Biblical Examples (make the simple wise) Mordecai performed a service for King Ahasuerus that was even more valuable than protecting his sheep. Mordecai protected the King himself from two trusted assistants who planned to kill him. The king failed to reward Mordecai, but at the right time, God took away the King's sleep and reminded him of Mordecai's deed. Then the King honored Mordecai at a time when that recognition had far greater benefit for God's Kingdom. A mark of maturity is how long a person can wait between achievement and reward. 7 Statutes of God (rejoice the heart) The definition of idolatry is "expecting from others what only God can give." As long as David expected provisions from Nabal, he was committing idolatry. Whatever we do, we are to do it heartily as for the Lord, not men, knowing that our real reward will be from God. (See Colossians 3:23.) When we look to people for our provisions, God often removes those sources so we will focus only on the Lord, Who is our Good Shepherd. The concept of genuine love rE:!quires us to give without motive of personal reward. 17 Once a person understands the holy requirements of God's Law, the wise perspective of Biblical testimonies, and the insights of Scriptural concepts, he should be ready to make precise decisions for his own life. These Biblical commitments actually help him identify with God's way of thinking and give him the maturity he needs to grow in Christ. The more Biblical commitments a person makes and keeps, the more spiritually mature he becomes, and the brighter his eyes shine with the purity of his soul." ... The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes" (Psalm 19:8). Every decision requires further disciplines in order to be maintained. Thus, column nine is necessary to maintain and deepen each Biblical commitment in column eight. The final column will be the life message which results from the first nine steps. As a person applies Biblical concepts, he will see the work of the Holy Spirit in changing his life, and he will have a powerful life message to share with others. This tenth step is explained in II Corinthians 1:3-4: "Blessed be . .. the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribu- lation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 8 Biblical Decisions (commands of God) In Psalm 51, David repented of his sin and asked God to cleanse him. David purposed to use each tormentor as a motivation to draw closer to God, as. is documented throughout the Psalms. David purposed to keep himself from any further immorality. Scripture emphasizes that he was true to this commitment to the end of his life. David purposed to direct Israel to seek the Lord, and he "... guided them by the skillfulness of his hands" (Psalm 78:72). David purposed not to kill, even when he was being attacked by Saul and by Shimei. He might have had reason to kill Saul, but he saw him as the Lord's anointed. He saw Shirnei, who cursed him, as an agent of the Lord, and he said, "... Let him alone, and let him curse; for the Lord hath bidden him" (II Samuel 16:11). 18 9 Daily Disciplines (fear of God) The primary discipline in David's life was memorization of and meditation on the Law of God. He said, "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Psalm 119.11). In Psalm 1:2, he praised those who meditate on Scripture: "... His delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." He reminded himself, "My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches" (Psalm 63:5-6). David's disciplines grew out of a deep longing for the Lord. His soul thirsted for God, and his flesh longed for Hirn. He sought the Lord daily with his whole heart and recorded the results of his struggles in what we now enjoy as the Psalms. 10 Life Message (judgments of God) The testimony of David is in two parts. The first is written by God, and the second is written by David. God's version does not hide the imperfections of David's life, yet neither does He describe them in lewd detail so that the sensual nature of the reader would be aroused. When David wrote out his testimony, he described his joys and sorrows, his victories and defeats. Each Psalm ends on a triumphant note and directs the reader to God's character. David was always conscious of his previous failures: "... My sin is ever before me" (Psalm 51:3). This deepened his gratefulness and his devotion in worshipping God. David knew that if he had received the justice he deserved, he would have been killed. Instead, he received mercy and lovingkindness. BASIC DECISIONS TO REGAIN "GROUND" God uses problems to reveal to us how much we need Him and His grace. Grace comes by making wise decisions based on the Bible that will give us direction for other decisions. A person who wants to help others must know precisely which decisions need to be made and then help the person understand and make them. 1 Discern if there is true repentance. Repentance is acknowledging our sin, submitting to God's truth, and making commitments to be obedient to His holy standards. Only after we have submitted ourselves to God's justice can we plead for His mercy. "The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy" (Psalm 147:11). 2 Make a full confession to God. Our greatest offense is against God for violating His Law and for causing the death of His Son, Who took the punishment for our sins on the cross. When making confession, we must name our sins by the terms God uses, such as "fornication," "lust," or "evil," not "physical involvement" or "attraction." "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). 3 Claim the blood of Christ. Because Christ died on the cross in our place, we can accept His shedding of blood as the remission of our sins. "... Without shedding of blood is no remission" (Hebrews 9:22). Colossians 2:14-15 explains that at the crucifixion, Satan held before the cross a "handwriting of ordinances" which listed all the sins by which he had authority to condemn us. However, Christ took it from Satan and blotted it out with His own blood. 4 Ask God to take back surrendered "ground." God has written His Law in our hearts. Therefore, when we violate a portion of His Law, we give away a portion of our souls through that violation. Satan uses his new authority over the surrendered "ground" of our souls to bring his philosophy into our thinking. With Satan's deceptions, we distort God's Law in our hearts to justify our sin. Scripture speaks of those "which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another'1 (Romans 2:15). Once we accept the blood of Christ, Satan loses his claim to the "ground" of our souls. We then need to ask God to take the authority ov~r that "ground." 5 Make confession to appropriate authorities. Once we have made our hearts right with God, we need to go to our human authorities and those who have been directly affected by our sin to request their forgiveness. The 19 first commandment is to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength . ... And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself There is none other commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31). (See also Matthew 5:23-24.) 6 Tear down strongholds" of false ideas. 11 Although God has retaken authority over the "ground" of our souls, we still have the "strongholds" of false ideas and the distorted understanding of God's Law which we accepted to justify our sin. We must identify these strongholds in our thinking and tear them down. "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:4-5). In order to identify these strongholds in our thinking, it is important to memorize and meditate upon the portions of God's Word which deal with the sin committed. As we receive God's Word into our souls, we are able to reestablish His truth in our hearts "Re- ceive, I pray thee, the law from his mouth, and lay up his words in thine heart" (Job 22:22). 7 Build up fortresses" of truth. 11 Once we have made wrong decisions and violated God's Law, it is easier to fall back into the same sin again. In order to guard against this, we must go beyond the basic commitments of right and wrong and establish higher standards through disciplines which will guard the previously lost "ground" in our souls from further defeat. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelidt look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Tum not tc the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil" (Proverbs 4:23-27). 8 Be ready for opportunities to share. Conviction takes place when God measures our wills and the direction of om lives with His desire and purpose for us. "The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly" (Proverbs 20:27). Once the soul is submitted to God and the heart is purified with His truth, the force which previously contradicted us and produced conviction becomes grace, which is the desire and the power to do God's will. (SeE I Corinthians 15:10.) We can use this grace and a testimony to motivate others to make Biblical commitments and avoid the same sins. A further benefit of accepting the humbling opportunity o1 telling others about our failures is that it brings more grace to strengthen us against temptation, for "... God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble" (James 4:6). It is important when sharing, however, that no details of sin be described which would create wrong imaginations in the minds of others and cause them to stumble. 20 WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO VERBALIZE DECISIONS? God deals with us on the basis of the words we speak. By our words we shall be justified; by our words we shall be condemned. (See Matthew 12:37.) There is also special power in our words to defeat Satan, as defined in Revelation 12:11: "... They overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony .... " When helping a person make Biblical decisions, it is important to encourage him to pray out loud. If necessary, have him follow you in a verbal prayer. The following testimony illustrates the powerful impact that occurs within a life when the right words are spoken from the mouth. "This letter is ten years overdue, but I still want to share with you a beautiful deliverance I received as a result of the closing prayer at a Basic Seminar in Cobo Hall, Detroit, Michigan. "You had been talking about the principles necessary for Christian growth, primarily 'accepting the design.' Your remarks focused on those individuals who were adopted, and how people sometimes live wishing, 'If only ... ' "The wonderful examples of God's power working in the lives of Biblical heroes who had been taken from their parents Ooseph, Moses, Samuel, etc.) caught my attention. How disarmed I was, because the whole time I was thinking of my adopted brother Tom, and how I wished he could be hearing this message of affirmation. "Well, the night concluded, and you closed in prayer and asked us, 'If you were taken from your parent(s) and have never thanked God for that, do it now.' Those words reached out and stunned my heart, and I questioned, 'Did that mean me?' But that didn't seem possible. "Just because I was taken from my mother when she died during my birth didn't mean I was to thank God for that. I simply could not. I had shed too many tears over the remorse of that very event which brought devastation to my father and to his thirteen-year-old son, left without a mother because of my birth. "Now, the auditorium, filled with 12,000 praying individuals, was absolutely stone silent. Your penetrating words forced me to examine the issue again. I confessed to God that I couldn't say the words. "In the quiet that followed, I knew that wasn't enough and began to suspect that per- haps God wanted me to say it for some reason I did not know. How could I actually say it 21 and be truthful too. Impossible, I thought, until the idea occurred that if God wanted me to say it, then perhaps I could say it on that ground alone. "Okay, here goes, but I'm only saying it because God may want me to say it, not because I mean it: 'TThhhhaaannnnnk .... yyyoooouuuu .... ffffooorrr .... ttttaaaakkkkiiinnnnngg .... mmmmmmeeeeeee .... ffffrrrroooooommmmm .... mmmmmyyyyyy .... mmmmmooooootttthhhhheeeeerrrrrr.' "There, I had said it, and for some strange reason, not only was there no hurt or tears in saying it, but the thought of doing it again was even a consideration. To be safe, I again described the condition under which I was saying this as being possibly God's desire, not mine, particularly not to offend God, 'offend' my dead mother, or be untruthful about my real feelings. '"TThhaannnkk ... yyoouu ... fffooorrr ... tttaaakkkiinnnngggg ... mmmeee ... fffrrrooommm ... mmmyyyy ... mmmooottthhheeerrr.' "The pressure was lifting; the tension eased up; I was actually breathing now. Why did I think I wanted to possibly say it on my own? 'Is this crazy?' This time the words were coming from me, no preconditions. I said it on my own: 'Thank .... you .... for .... taking .... me .... from .... my .... mother.' "RELIEF AGAIN! Why did it seem okay to say it? Why was I ready to say it again? Actually, a bit of conviction was entering the scene now, as if my attitude were changing, and I was willing to try saying it again-this time with a little sincerity: 'Thank ... you ... for ... taking ... me ... from ... my ... mother.' "EASIER! MUCH EASIER! What happened next is beyond my rationale. From my heart came the desire to say those words again, only this time with unexplainable gratitude: 'Thank you for taking me from my mother!' "JOY! Indescribable joy! My face was awash with water from my eyes, yet I wasn't crying. Water poured down my cheeks from a source so deep, I knew not where. "The prayer had ended. The program was over. What seemed like a long dialogue with God may have taken only minutes, but my journey had ended, and it was time to leave. "Something strange was happening. I had always dreaded being in crowds, usually feeling claustrophobic and panicky. As everyone got up to leave, however, I seemed unaffected by the masses (12,000 people) and was instead captivated by the individuals I saw. Why was I in love with every person I saw, no matter who he or she was? Each seemed special, uniquely made, uniquely loved. "Something was different about me! Something wonderful had taken place deep within my soul. I thank God." Used by pennission. 22 Name - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date _ _ _ _ _ __ COUNSELING QUIZ NO. 2 What is the primary prerequisite for counseling? (Answer, then check pages 3-4.) Those whom we counsel will wonder what our._ _ _ _ _ _ _ is for helping them. Our goal in life should be to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ People look for the light of Christ in our _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ The light of Christ is produced in us by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ When should we not counsel a person? (Answer, then check page 5.) When we have not been given permission by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ When we have not asked God for - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When we have not heard· - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When we are talking to a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Do you know how to recognize and respond to fools? (Answer, then check pages 6-9.) A simple fool believes _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and is without _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • The book of the Bible with instruction for simple fools is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ A silly fool will respond to counsel by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ or _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • If you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ with a silly fool, you will stir up his _ _ _ _ __ A sensual fool makes sport of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . His destruction is _ _ _ _ _ __ • He must be corrected by , since he will'----- your counsel. A scorning fool delights in _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and hates _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • If you reprove a scorner, you will get _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ A steadfast fool believes _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and does _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ • The characteristics of a steadfast fool are described in. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Can you trace defeats to surrendered "ground"? (Answer, then check pages 13-16.) David gave "ground" to Satan by _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ toward Nabal. Eli surrendered "ground" when he took for himself _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Asa lost "ground" when he failed to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Can you trace a recent failure to "ground" that was given to Satan years ago? Failure: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ Surrendered "ground": _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ 23 iii iii~~11lllfilim1liiili P01003