Mama! PDF

MAMA IX-CHELPOOT 7:30am- Waking Up It is raining. Grey clouds cover the sky and droplets dance on the zinc roof. They seem to taunt the old woman still in bed. The ground outside, once parched, now closes its lips and the water c...

MAMA IX-CHELPOOT 7:30am- Waking Up It is raining. Grey clouds cover the sky and droplets dance on the zinc roof. They seem to taunt the old woman still in bed. The ground outside, once parched, now closes its lips and the water collects in huge puddles around the yard. The sun tries in vain to break through the thick blanket of clouds, but today is a grey day. She listens to the sounds outside her room and begins to schedule her day. She will wait for the children to go to school, and her daughter to go work before she makes her first move. Two short knocks at the door. It flies open. Marky bursts in-eyes shining, a smile playing on his lips. At five years old he is irresistible. Her heart sinks. He is still in his sleeping clothes. "Mawnin Mama!" His high pitched greeting shows no awareness of her disappointment. "Mawnin baby. You need Mama to bathe yo so yo could get ready for school?" As she speaks she starts to rise from the bed. The little boy scrambles on to her bed and props himself up on her pillows. "No Mama, Ma seh I wa stay home becah e di rain." "Really? Well yo only lucky." She speaks the words with a small degree of resentment. Her plans for a quiet day die a quick and painless death.  "Mama?" her daughter's voice comes from the hallway "Mark! Go eat! Mama needs to get up." Her daughter appears at the door already dressed for work. "Out now, Mark." She bellows as the little boy reluctantly starts to climb off the bed. "Leave the baby Jenny, he could stay til Jackie come." Mama reaches up to stroke his hair, but Mark has seen the look in his mother's eyes. Jenny squares her shoulders and swiftly moves her hands, motioning for the little boy to leave. He recognizes the command immediately, and despite his grandmother's defense he exits the room, half running half walking. "Jenny, the little boy could a mi stay. He was no trouble." "Mama I need your help this morning. Jackie not coming in today.She just text and I already late for work. Mike and Alexis nuh have any lunch pack. And Andrew nuh want them buying junk at school. So yo could please pack something fi dey." She steps into the room as she speaks. "Jenny, I could help with the children, but I promise Maudey I mi wa come to her house today to help she pack a few things up and to fix some food." Jenny's voice becomes impatient as it always does when Mama has plans that do not marry with her own. "Ma, be reasonable, this rain nuh wa stop. You can't go out and get wet. Yo too old fi di get sick. And what you wa do with Marky? I nuh want him out in this rain and if you ker him he wah jump all ova Ms. Maudey thing and then yo wa tell me he have no mannas." "Jenny, I promise Maudey I would go around. Today is a month since Frank pass on, she need a little support." She repeats her plans for the day, calmly and quietly. Jenny sighs heavily. "Look Ma, Ms. Maudey things will still be there tomorrow, you could go then. I need you today." She turns and leaves the room. "I will come take care of the children, Jenny. Go to work." The words are spoken to no one in particular but rather in resignation-an admission of defeat. She stands and puts on her duster to cover her nightgown. She runs the comb through her short grey hair and walks into the kitchen. Jenny is preparing to leave; umbrella in hand, she loudly commands her small troupe. "Mike and Alexis, listen to Mama and if I hear one thing 'bout unu, unu wa know when I come home. Marky, yo have class work and I nuh wa hear yo gone outside today. Ma please nuh mek he watch TV all day. He have spelling words to learn."  With each sentence she moves closer to the door. Her mother is now standing in the kitchen taking out bread and vegetables along with a can of sandwich meat. "We all hear you, Jenny. Go to work before you get any later." The old woman's tone is dismissive and the two older children snicker. Their mother's eyes silence them. As she leaves, the door clicks shut and the rain suddenly comes down in a huge burst. Mama can see Jenny almost slip and fall on the wet pavement as she tries to open the car door; a small smile plays on her lips. God help her, sometimes she wishes...things that mothers shouldn't wish. "Alright, you two finish yo breakfast and go brush your teeth. I wa finish pack unu sandwiches before it's time to go." The house phone rings. "I wa get it!" Mark shouts as he snatches the phone. "Hello? Hello? Oh ok! Mama! DA MA!" he shouts as he sets the phone down and settles back into the couch. "Hello, Jenny. Weh happen now?...so you want I give the kids the $10?... Yes, I have it. My pension money come yesterday...I will fix lunch for me and Marky...I know how to work the machine, so just the whites? Yes, Jenny, I could work the dryer...ok...ok... Jenny! Stop drive and talk pan the phone!" Mama hangs up the phone. She closes her eyes. She is praying. She has learnt to pray: pray for wisdom, pray for strength and most of all pray for patience. "Michael." She calls and her grandson appears in front of her, shrugging on his raincoat. "Yes Mama?" "Yo Ma said to take a taxi to school, I will give you the $10-$5 to go and $5 to come back. And you need to make sure you and your sister come home together." "Ok, Mama." The boy reaches and takes the money his grandmother has taken out of her wallet. "Here is your lunch. ALEXIS! Hurry chile, you and Mike will be late." Mama reaches for the phone and calls a taxi to come and collect the children. "Mama, you think you could mek powder bun?" Alexis asks as she emerges to stand before her grandmother. "Yes Mama!" Mike says as the taxi beeps outside  "Powder bun and fry jack Mama. Pleeease?" he says as he reaches up to kiss her goodbye. Alexis kisses her quickly as well. "I will see," she says as she ushers them out the door. Umbrella in hand, she calls out, "Mind da lee paat rite deh, e slippery." With the children gone she surveys the room. 8:30am- The House Marky sits on the couch, legs folded under him, eyes fixed on the television. She places her hand on the nearby bookshelf-dust. Alexis' slippers peep out from under the love seat, Mike's school shirt is carelessly draped on the single chair. A little hill of Marky's toys dominates the middle of the room. The cushions of the chairs are carelessly flung in different corners of the room. The curtains half open are hastily pulled to the side; their bands lay in little piles under the window. Mama sighs. A woman's work is never done. She re-enters the kitchen, the breakfast plates are still on the table, and a box of cereal and room temperature milk stand proudly at the center. Last night's dishes are hastily stacked next to the sink. Cold pots sit on the stove along with a dirty spoon. She takes a step and there is a crunching sound. As she looks down she sees spilled cereal covering the floor. She has two thoughts almost simultaneously. One: She should go back to bed. Two: If she were Jackie she would have called in sick as well. With a heavy sigh she begins to run water in the sink and readjust her day's plan: Dishes Clear the living room Call Maudey Bathe Marky Make Marky do his school work Fix lunch Do the laundry That seemed to be the right order...wait, she also needs to get dressed. Better do that before convincing Marky to bathe.  10:00am- Calling Maudey Marky is still parked in front of the television, content. The rain is now a consistent drizzle and outside is still shrouded in a grey haze. Mama picks up the phone and dials. "Hello? Hello? Maudey...? Yes, this rain is right out a ada... Well, Maudey, I so sorry I can't make it...No, no, ah feeling fine. Jackie neva come in today. And Jenny never send Marky to school. Yes he has a little touch of asthma...I feel so bad...I know we had plans...well how about tomorrow God spare life? I could come from 9:00 or 9:30 and we could cook and just visit...yes, man, ah had mi mind set to see you too. Okay. Okay. Tomorrow. Nine. Sorry again Maudey. Lord knows, if I could make it I would." She hangs up the phone with a heavy sigh. She remembers what it felt like a month after burying John. It felt like it does now, 3 years later. It felt lonely. It felt empty. Most days, surrounded by Jenny and her family, she misses her little house with John. Where they had been young and happy, where they had been middle-aged and getting ready to let the children go and where they had grown older and they knew each other like the back of their hands. Where John had bravely battled cancer until he was too tired to fight. If the rain stops at 2:00 she will still go to Maudey, the children wouldn't be home until 3:30. 12:30pm-Lunch (The Battle) "Mama I want macaroni and cheese." Mark impatiently pushes the white rice and stew beans around his plate. The sweet smell of coconut milk still fills the kitchen. "Mark eat your food." Mama's flat statement hangs in the room as she walks toward the washing machine, her arms filled with laundry. "But I nuh want this." Mark's voice is raised in defiance as he pushes the plate away and starts moving away from the table. As Mama opens her mouth to respond the shrill ring of the telephone interrupts her. "I wa get it!" Mark shouts as he scrambles for the phone. "Hello? Ma? Mama mek me rice and I want macaroni and cheese!"  His voice takes on the helpless tone of one very young who has been wronged. "Yes, I ask she and I di be good too Mommy. Right now! Mama! Mama! Ma want talk to you." He hands the phone to Mama, a triumphant gleam in his eyes as he heads back to his spot in front of the TV. "Jenny?" The pause is long, and Mama looks at Mark who is staring at her, challenging her. "Jenny, I cook for the boy, he doesn't want to eat the food, he can wait till you come home to fix his macaroni...Jenny, I am not cooking no box macaroni for the boy, he needs real food...If you don't like it then come home and take care of your child!" Mama hangs up the phone and is immediately flooded with guilt. Those were hard words for Jenny to hear. Jenny, who was practically raising the children alone while Andrew did whatever Andrew does. Mark is silent, contemplating his next move. He recognizes that the conversation didn't go in his favor. Not yet at least. He will wait; things will eventually come around. 2:30pm - Bath Time (The War) "Mark! Last time, boy! You need to go bathe!" Mama's voice is raised and impatient; she has spoken to the child at least a dozen times. The list of chores she had outlined is all complete-except giving the child a bath. "I can't! I too hungry! My belly hurt." He is curled up in a fetal position on the chair, where seconds before he had been sitting watching TV. "Chile, don't try me this evening! Get yo backside up and in the bathroom!" Mama stands before him hands on her hips. If she was younger, she would have hauled him up but the arthritis pain in her shoulder has become her constant companion and reminds her of the years that have passed. "Mama why you di be so mean?" His voice emerges filled with hurt and tears, tears that have suspiciously made no appearance in his eyes. "Mark! Now!" "But I can't! I so hungry and my belly hurt!" "Go eat your food; it's still on the table." "But I can't eat rice! I wa choke!" He makes a desperate sound between a coughing and choking.  "Well I don't know what you will eat then!" "I could eat some cereal." He says, glancing at Mama only fleetingly. "What?" "I could eat some cereal and then go bathe," he says again this time with more confidence. "Maaarrrrkkk." "Please, please Mama? I so hungry." Maybe she was just too tired to continue down this path. Perhaps it was sympathy for the child who must be hungry. Or maybe it was regret for having dealt harshly with Jenny, but she relented and poured a bowl of cereal. "As you finish eat this cereal, you will bathe. Now move!" Mama's voice is stern but the war is over. Mark hums happily as he sits at the table pushing the offending plate of rice and beans out of the way to make space for his cereal. 5:45pm - The Calm The smell of freshly baked powder buns fills the house and greets Jenny as she walks in through the door. The children sit in front of the TV-clean and each with a powder bun in hand. They look up but recognize the look in her eyes and no one speaks. "Ma!" "Jenny?" "Ma why they di eat powda bun already." "They ask Jenny. And good evening to you." "Good evening Ma. But really you think they should be eating powda bun befo suppa?" "I think I rather see them eat powda bun than chips and biscuit." As she speaks she starts measuring flour into the large mixing dish. "What you wa mek now?" "Fry jack. Evening Ma." Michael answers his mother's question as he walks up to Mama. He has always stood strong at her side. Mama smiles down at the boy. She had cried when she held him for the first time and the two share a special bond that Jenny had never understood. Mama accepts the boy unconditionally, expecting nothing in return; he in turn loves her, without fear of rejection. "All you do da spile theya pickney."  Ignoring the accusation that has started more fights that can be counted, Mama says: "Jenny, how was your day?" "Just like yesterday. I gwien call Andrew." She drops her bags and walks toward her room. Michael still stands next to Mama, studying his mother as she walks away. "Go back and watch TV baby, I wa call uno when suppa ready then unu wa need to do home work." Mama nods in the direction of the couch. "Ok Mama." He reaches up and kisses her before he returns to his sister and brother. She smiles, her heart overflowing with love for the boy who is becoming a man before her eyes. 8:30pm - Memories The TV is silent. Michael and Mark sit at the table doing schoolwork. Alexis wanders to her grandmother's side. Mama is holding a black and white photograph of a young woman that she has taken out of an old Bible she always reads. The young woman's hair is perfectly combed, eyes twinkling; she wears the smile of a woman in love. Her crisp, white uniform alludes to her success on the nursing exam. Her future is bright. "Gran da who dat? She so pretty." Alexis peers at the photo that seems familiar but she does not recognize the face. Mama pauses and runs her fingers over the youthful face. On the back are the year, 1950, and the words: "To My dearest John with all my love, Maggie." She had sent the picture to John when he was in England for training. That life now seemed to be a dream. Looking at Alexis, she finally speaks,"Hay Baby, yo can't tell from that big nose it's me? But this was so long ago." Jenny's voice interrupts their conversation. "Ma? You could believe this ungrateful Jackie? I call she fi ask how she di do and she wa tell me she can't come back to work?" Stillness hangs in the room, and Maggie puts the picture back in John's Bible. The look of defeat that is etched on Jenny's face breaks her mother's heart. Mama says the only thing she can say. "Neva mind, Jenny, a nuh got no way fi go. I could stay home with the children til you find somebody." Mama stands and puts her hands on Jenny's shoulders before she slowly makes her way to the kitchen.  "I wa clean up the kitchen while you check the homework." They both know Jenny won't find someone new. 8:30pm-Memories The TV is silent. Michael and Mark sit at the table doing schoolwork. Alexis wanders to her grandmother's side. Mama is holding a black and white photograph of a young woman that she has taken out of an old Bible she always reads. The young woman's hair is perfectly combed, eyes twinkling; she wears the smile of a woman in love. Her crisp, white uniform alludes to her success on the nursing exam. Her future is bright. "Gran da who dat? She so pretty." Alexis peers at the photo that seems familiar but she does not recognize the face. Mama pauses and runs her fingers over the youthful face. On the back are the year, 1950, and the words: "To My dearest John with all my love, Maggie." She had sent the picture to John when he was in England for training. That life now seemed to be a dream. Looking at Alexis, she finally speaks,"Hay Baby, yo can't tell from that big nose it's me? But this was so long ago." Jenny's voice interrupts their conversation. "Ma? You could believe this ungrateful Jackie? I call she fi ask how she di do and she wa tell me she can't come back to work?" Stillness hangs in the room, and Maggie puts the picture back in John's Bible. The look of defeat that is etched on Jenny's face breaks her mother's heart. Mama says the only thing she can say. "Neva mind, Jenny, a nuh got no way fi go. I could stay home with the children til you find somebody." Mama stands and puts her hands on Jenny's shoulders before she slowly makes her way to the kitchen. "I wa clean up the kitchen while you check the homework." They both know Jenny won't find someone new.