Emotional Intelligence PDF

EESSENTIAL PROFESSINAL SKILLS | SEMESTER 3 – UNIT 3 : EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Syllabus Understanding the pillars of Emotional Intelligence Difference between EI and EQ Empathy - Stages of Empathy, Strategies to Develop Empathy at Work Resilience - Strategies for Building R...

EESSENTIAL PROFESSINAL SKILLS | SEMESTER 3 – UNIT 3 : EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Syllabus Understanding the pillars of Emotional Intelligence Difference between EI and EQ Empathy - Stages of Empathy, Strategies to Develop Empathy at Work Resilience - Strategies for Building Resilience Stress Management – Common signs of stress, Stress management techniques. The capacity to be aware of, control, and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE express one's emotions, and to handle Emotional Intelligence Definition: interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Emotional Intelligence (or EI) as the ability to: Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and. "emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success" Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others. It's a critical skill for success in all areas of life. Emotional Intelligence in Practice Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behaviour and impact people (positively and negatively) and learning how to manage those emotions – both our own and others. It helps us to connect with our feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to us. Emotional intelligence helps us build stronger relationships, succeed at college and work, and achieve our career and personal goals Managing emotions is especially important in situations when we are under pressure. For example, when we are… Giving and receiving feedback Meeting tight deadlines Dealing with challenging relationships Not having enough resources Navigating change Working through setbacks and failure Why Emotional Intelligence is Important It’s a scientific fact that emotions precede thought. When emotions run high, they change the way our brain’s function - diminishing our cognitive abilities, decision-making powers, and even interpersonal skills. Emotionally intelligent people are better able to relate to others, learn from mistakes, stay calm under pressure, and make sound decisions. Understanding and managing our emotions (and the emotions of others) helps us to be more successful in both our personal and professional lives. At a personal level, emotional intelligence helps us in: Self-awareness and self-management Resilience when navigating change Having uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 1 of 20  Managing our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed Improving relationships with the people we care about Improved health and well being Finding confidence and courage to confront challenges Reduced time and energy spent on conflict At work, emotional intelligence can help us in: Resolving conflicts Coaching and motivating others Creating a culture of collaboration Building psychological safety within teams Greater capacity to navigate change. High employee commitment, engagement & retention Higher degree of trust & accountability Greater collaboration Strategic advantage of highly engaged teams & individuals Emotional Intelligence vs. Emotional Quotient: A Clarification Emotional intelligence (EI) and emotional quotient (EQ) are often used interchangeably, but there's a subtle distinction between them. Emotional Intelligence (EI) Concept: A broader framework encompassing a person's ability to understand, manage, and utilize emotions effectively. Focus: Includes self-awareness, empathy, social skills, and the ability to regulate emotions. Emotional Quotient (EQ) Measurement: A numerical score derived from specific assessments designed to measure emotional intelligence. Purpose: Provides a quantitative measure of a person's emotional abilities. In essence, EI is the concept, and EQ is a way to measure that concept. Key differences: Scope: EI is a broader concept that includes the ability to apply emotional skills in real-life situations, while EQ is more focused on the measurement of these skills. Nature: EI is a qualitative concept, while EQ is a quantitative measurement. Purpose: EI emphasizes the development and improvement of emotional skills, while EQ is used for assessment and evaluation. While the terms are often used interchangeably, understanding the distinction can help clarify the concept of emotional intelligence and its measurement. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 2 of 20 Your EQ Could Matter More Than Your IQ, Especially at Work Harvard Business School research concluded that EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in determining who will be successful. In a 2003 Harvard Business Review reported that 80% of competencies that differentiate top performers from others are in the domain of Emotional Intelligence. Research with leading edge organizations around the world points out that the smartest people in an organization are not always the most effective. What distinguishes the most productive employees from the average is EI. Emotional and Social Skills are on the Rise Across All Industries Emotional, social, and technological skills are the only skills that are on the rise across all major industries. According to the Harvard Business Review, Emotional Intelligence is the key driver of innovation and business success. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 3 of 20 Emotional Intelligence can be learnt Emotional Intelligence is a set of abilities that can be Measured, Learned, Practiced, and Mastered. EI allows us to choose how we want to respond and behave. Reaching your full potential requires mastering the competencies of EI Four Components of Emotional Intelligence 1. Emotional Self Awareness Every EI journey starts with self-awareness. You need to understand your triggers, and default behaviours, and how they impact your decision-making, cognitive ability, and behaviour. Definition: The ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. Explanation: This involves being in tune with your feelings, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and understanding how your emotions affect your thoughts and actions. Example: A self-aware person can recognize when they're feeling stressed, identify the source of that stress, and understand how it's affecting their behaviour. 2. Emotional Self-Regulation or Self-Management Reaching your full potential requires mastering the competencies of EI Building upon your awareness, you can expand your skills and learn to manage your emotions more skilfully especially in times of tension, conflict, and pressure. Definition: The ability to manage one's own emotions, thoughts, and impulses. Explanation: This involves controlling your reactions to emotions, managing stress effectively, and resisting impulsive behaviours. Example: A person with good self-regulation can calm themselves down when they're angry, delay gratification, and avoid making rash decisions. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 4 of 20 3. Social Awareness (Emotional Connection with Others) By developing the ability to connect to the emotions that drive the behaviour of others, you will also connect with their perspective. Emotional connection and empathy are foundational in building inclusive and agile teams. Definition: The ability to understand the emotions, thoughts, and perspectives of others. Explanation: This involves empathy, recognizing social cues, and understanding group dynamics. Example: A socially aware person can sense when a friend is upset, understand their point of view, and respond appropriately. 4. Social Skills or Relationship Management The final step in Emotional Intelligence is developing relationship management skills which enable one to hold conversations that address the necessary matters and encourage open communication from all involved. It is possible to engage in difficult conversations that build trust and accountability instead of fear and blame. Definition: The ability to manage interactions with others effectively. Explanation: This involves building and maintaining positive relationships, resolving conflicts, and inspiring others. Example: A person with good relationship management skills can communicate effectively, resolve disagreements peacefully, and motivate others to achieve their goals. These four components work together to create a well-rounded emotional intelligence. By developing these skills, we can improve our relationships, reduce stress, and enhance our overall well-being. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence Improving Self-Awareness Improving Self-Management Know Thyself Remain aware of feelings. Paying attention to how See yourself for who you are (what do you think you feel—in the moment—is the first step to more and feel) effective self-management of your behaviour Watch your emotions like a hawk (even Keep a journal. Create a list of situations or events physiological signs) that “trigger” negative emotions, such as anger or Track & backtrack your emotions in a difficult frustration. Then write out a strategy to deal with conversation or meeting – learn your tendencies in these situations emotionally arousing situations Pay attention to “self talk.” Tell yourself what it Use paired sharing (peer or supervisor) looks and feels like to be under control, focused and Own your actions – take full responsibility for what composed. Repeat this consciously each day and it’s you say and do likely your “talk” will become your automatic “action.” Remember, you have a choice. You have the ability to choose your response to any situation Improving Social Awareness Improving Relationships Spend extra time observing, asking & listening Seek to build high quality, high trust relationships Maintain eye contact Try to discover what role emotions are playing in Give the speaker your full attention your interactions with others Playback and summarize If you sense tension or other emotional reactions in Try on their shoes a person’s body language or speech, ask questions Suspend your judgment to seek to understand Read body language Be quick to settle disputes, differences of opinion Decipher emotions in speech tone and misunderstandings Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 5 of 20 EMPATHY What is Empathy? The term “empathy” is used to describe a wide range of experiences. Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. Empathy is when you can understand how someone else is feeling even if you aren’t in the same situation as them. Empathy skills help you predict what others may be feeling based on facial expressions, body language, or what you know about how other people might feel in the same situation. Empathy is also about seeing someone else’s perspective, or their side of the story. Sometimes we call this “Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.” Empathy plays a critical role in day-to-day interactions with others. It can be seen in the way one listens to others, shares their joys and sorrows, and helps them when they need it most. It can be seen as a type of social intelligence that helps people to connect with others, build relationships, and work together more effectively. Empathy can be seen as an innate ability or trait that some people have more than others. However, empathy can be developed through practice. Empathy is: Empathetic Spectrum Antipathy Apathy Sympathy Empathy Deep-seated hatred of Lack of interest or Feeling of pity, sorrow for The ability to understand & something or someone concern a person's misfortune share the feelings of others Few Everyday Examples of Empathy 1. Empathy in action can be seen when a customer service representative takes the time to listen and understand what the customer needs. 2. When someone listens to another and understands what they are trying to say. This can be done through conversation, reading, or writing. 3. Hugging a friend when they are crying. 4. Making someone a meal when they don't have time to make the meal themselves. 5. Offering to problem solve with the person, but only after fully listening to what they have to say. Examples of Empathy College Students Can Demonstrate In the Classroom: Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 6 of 20 Active listening: Pay close attention to your classmates' contributions and ask clarifying questions to show you're interested in their perspectives. Offering support: If a classmate is struggling with a concept, offer to study together or explain it in a different way. Avoiding judgment: Be open-minded and avoid making assumptions or judgments about your classmates' experiences or beliefs. In Social Situations: Validating feelings: When a friend is feeling down, acknowledge their emotions and let them know you understand how they're feeling. Offering a listening ear: Be there for your friends when they need someone to talk to. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes: Try to see things from another person's perspective and consider how your actions might affect them. In Community Involvement: Volunteering: Give back to your community by volunteering for a cause that you care about. Supporting marginalized groups: Advocate for the rights of marginalized groups and stand up against discrimination. Empathizing with those in need: Show compassion and understanding for people who are facing challenges. By demonstrating empathy, college students can create a more supportive and inclusive learning environment, strengthen their relationships, and make a positive impact on their communities. Levels of Empathy Contemporary researchers often differentiate between three types of empathy. The three major levels of empathy are cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and compassionate empathy. 1. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand another person's thoughts or beliefs. 2. Emotional empathy is the ability to feel what another person feels emotionally. 3. Compassionate empathy is doing something about another's distress. Cognitive Empathy Emotive Empathy Empathic Action I put myself in your shoes I feel with you I will stand with you, without fixing Cognitive empathy refers to a person's ability to understand and share in another person's thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It is a type of emotional intelligence that involves the capacity to think about what someone else may be thinking or feeling. Cognitive empathy is an important skill for people in customer service, as it helps them understand their customers' needs. In some cases, it can help them anticipate what the customer might say next. In this way, cognitive empathy can be beneficial because it can help people better communicate with others. Emotive Empathy Emotive empathy is a type of emotional intelligence that allows people to understand and share the emotional state of another person. Emotive empathy is a powerful tool for understanding others' feelings and motivations. An example of emotive empathy would be when a mother who has lost her child can feel the pain of other parents who have lost their children. Empathic Action or Compassionate Empathy Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 7 of 20 Compassionate empathy is the ability to feel what others are feeling. It is the empathy that motivates someone to take action, and it is the type of empathy that society should be encouraging more. How to listen with empathy? Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 8 of 20 How to show empathy OBSERVE LISTEN INTERPRET SHARE Empathy Maps: A Tool for Understanding Others Empathy maps are a visual tool used to understand the thoughts, feelings, actions, and pain points of a specific person or group. By mapping out these elements, you can gain a deeper understanding of their perspective and experiences. Components of an Empathy Map Think: What is the person thinking about? What are their goals, fears, and motivations? Feel: What emotions are they experiencing? How do they feel about the situation? Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 9 of 20 Say: What do they say or do? What are their verbal and nonverbal cues? Do: What actions do they take? How do they behave? Steps to Cultivate Empathy In a Nutshell - Tips on being Empathic Be curious about other people’s experiences Be aware of your own opinions and how they might colour your understanding Question your biases and what you ‘think’ you know Listen with your full attention Pay attention to non-verbal clues Ask open ended questions instead of making assumptions Ask for feedback Offer your support, whether it's a helping hand or a listening ear. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 10 of 20 Cultivating a Resilient Mindset Everybody has to reckon with setbacks—it’s a fact of life. But if there’s one thing that’s within our control, it’s how we build resilience and adapt to these challenges. How you respond to these challenges relies on your r ability to learn and “bounce back” from difficult experiences. What is Resilience A set of skills, attitudes, behaviors, and coping mechanisms that allow individuals to “bounce back” and adapt when faced with stress, challenges, or adversity. RESILIENCE IS.. RESILIENCE IS NOT Developed over time. Something you re born with. Something that you cultivate. Something you can buy. Attitudes and skills that can be Immunity or absence of pain, learned and practiced. loss, or negative emotion. A universal human ability to A quick fix. thrive in spite of setbacks. Unique to any specific groups of people. How Resilient are you? Resilient Attitudes to Adopt COMMITMENT : Establish an unwavering dedication to the path you’ve chosen. Engage in your field and seek opportunities to get more involved. CONTROL : Focus on the parts of your situation that you can influence, change, or control rather than that which is outside your control. Believe in your ability to impact your circumstances. CHALLENGE : View difficult situations as an opportunity to learn and grow. Adopt the attitude of a lifelong learner. If you haven’t figured something out, tell yourself, “Not yet” and remember there is still time. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 11 of 20 Cultivating a Resilient Mindset There are three tips for building resilience: develop mental agility, cultivate compassion, and build mindfulness practices. 1. Develop mental agility There are two key parts when it comes to developing mental agility: identify and reframe. Identify an unhelpful thought and reframe it as a helpful one. You can apply the three Cs here: catch it, check it, change it. Reframing how you think using the three C’s The 3 C's refer to key concepts that are fundamental to understanding how thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected. This approach helps individuals identify and modify negative thought patterns that contribute to distressing emotions and behaviours. Catch It: Definition: The first step involves becoming aware of and identifying negative or irrational thoughts. Process: Pay attention to your thoughts, especially those that contribute to negative emotions or behaviours. This step is about catching and recognizing automatic or distorted thoughts. To catch it, familiarise with a few unhelpful thinking styles: All-or-nothing thinking. You think in black and white. When your manager says you’ve been underperforming lately, you consider yourself as a complete failure rather than recognise that there is room for growth. Jumping to conclusions. You assess events based on your view of yourself rather than concrete evidence. When you see your colleagues whispering to one another, you assume that they must be gossiping about you. Over-generalisation. You apply your learning from a single event to all contexts indiscriminately. If you grew up with parents who gave you the silent treatment every time, they were mad, you may misinterpret your manager’s lack of response for disapproval. Check It: Definition: Once you've identified a negative thought, the next step is to evaluate its accuracy and validity. Process: Challenge the negative thought by examining the evidence for and against it. Ask yourself if there's a more balanced or realistic way to view the situation. Consider alternative perspectives and interpretations. Here are some questions you can ask yourself any time you need to combat negative thinking: 1. Is there any other way of looking at the situation? 2. Is there any other explanation? 3. How would someone else, like a friend, think about the situation? Or what would you tell a friend who had the thought? 4. Am I using all or nothing thinking? Is there a middle ground? 5. Am I expecting more of myself than I do of other people? 6. Am I overestimating (or underestimating) how much control and responsibility I have in this situation? 7. What is the most realistic thing that would happen if my thought came true? 8. Do I have other ways of handling the problem? 9. Am I overestimating the risk involved? 10. Am I predicting the future as if I have a crystal ball? Change It: Definition: After checking the validity of the negative thought, the final step is to replace it with a more balanced and constructive thought. Process: Develop and adopt a more positive and realistic interpretation of the situation. This might involve reframing the thought, focusing on strengths, or considering alternative explanations. The goal is to replace negative thinking with more adaptive and constructive thoughts. Here are some examples of how you can reframe a difficult situation as an opportunity Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 12 of 20  Unhelpful thought Reframed thought “I always make mistakes. Why can’t I get things right?” I didn’t do a perfect job, but I have the chance to learn and improve for future opportunities.” “My manager must think I am incompetent, and I will “I am confident in the work that I have done so far. Just never get promoted.” because my manager wants to speak with me doesn’t mean its bad news.” “I’m worried if I speak up to my manager, it will affect “Only if I speak up can my manager know what I really my performance review.” think.” 2. Cultivate compassion Ever heard of the saying, “hurt people hurt people”? Cultivating self-compassion not only helps you to manage stressful situations, but it also improves your relationships with others. This is because self-compassion cultivates a growth mindset and promotes self-acceptance. When you show up as your real self, you implicitly give others’ permission to be authentic, too. Self-compassion is the process of turning inward and choosing to be kind, not critical, when you inevitably make a mistake. According to Neff’s theoretical model, there are three components to self-compassion: Self-kindness: Demonstrating kindness to yourself as you would to others. Mindfulness: Paying attention to and grounding yourself in the present moment. Common humanity: Acknowledging that all of us suffer and go through similar hardships. 3. Practice mindfulness Mindfulness is the awareness of the present moment brought about by focused attention. It enhances mental agility because it allows you to pause and identify an unhelpful thought before it escalates into a vicious cycle. Instead of judging yourself for a “good” or “bad” thought or feeling, you see them more clearly and for their transience. They are simply thoughts, not truths. Skills to Build Resilience Maintain a realistic and logical outlook Use direct communication and adapt your style to fit the situation Problem-solve when faced with challenges Seek internal validation (from yourself) Attend to physical and emotional health Know when and how to say “No” Celebrate your accomplishments, big and small Accept compliments and credit for your work Believe in yourself and your abilities Practice healthy inter-dependence with others Know when to ask for help Summary Catch It, Challenge It, Change It When in doubt, “Fake it ‘til you make it” Attend to your physical health through proper sleep, nutrition, and exercise Use Breathing & Relaxation techniques Build Mastery Experiences Find cultural, spiritual, community resources Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 13 of 20 Stress Management Objectives Understand the nature of stress Understand the impact of stress Understand coping strategies to help deal with stress What is Stress? Stress: the feeling of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with mental or emotional pressure Body’s response to changes that create taxing demands. Most commonly it’s a mix of anxiety (tension, nerves) and depression (feeling flat/sad) Stress is very common – we all have stress in our lives and there are times when this is worse than others. Think of blood pressure – we all have it, but if it becomes high, we need to do something about it! Stress is an unavoidable consequence of life. There are some stresses like the loss of a loved one that you can’t hope to avoid and others that you can prevent or influence. The trick is in learning how to distinguish between the two so that you’re not constantly frustrated and devote your time and talent to areas where you can make a difference. While everyone experiences stress at times, a prolonged bout of it can affect your health and ability to cope with life. That’s why social support and self-care are important. They can help you see your problems in perspective…and the stressful feelings ease up. Sometimes stress can be good. For instance, it can help you develop skills needed to manage potentially threatening situations in life. However, stress can be harmful when it is severe enough to make you feel over-whelmed and out of control. Strong emotions like fear, sadness, or other symptoms of depression are normal, as long as they are temporary and don’t interfere with daily activities. If these emotions last too long or cause other problems, it’s a different story. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 14 of 20 While many of us need a certain level of stress to achieve peak performance, too much stress can take its toll, increasing the risk of burnout, anxiety, depression, insomnia, hypertension and frequent illnesses. The more we can do to reduce stress– and the more individuals can do to better manage the stress in their lives – the more productive we will be. What does stress look like? Stress looks different for everyone, and everyone deals with stress differently. Emotional Symptoms of Stress Becoming easily frustrated, agitated, or moody Feeling overwhelmed Having difficulty relaxing and easing your mind Low self-esteem and depression Avoiding others Change in eating habits Physical Symptoms of Stress Low energy, Dry mouth, Dizziness Headaches, Sweating and hot flashes Nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea Chest pain, rapid, uneven heartbeat Insomnia Sleep disturbance Restlessness, Nervousness tremors and shaking Ulcer Back Pain Cognitive Symptoms of Stress Constant worrying. Restlessness Racing thoughts Inability to focus Poor Concentration, Memory loss Poor judgment Indecisive, Confusion Mind Racing Going Blank Behavioural Symptoms of Stress Procrastinating, Avoidance of situations Eating disorders - Eating too much or too little Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes. Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour Exhibiting more nervous behaviors (nail biting, fidgeting, pacing) Verbal Outburst, Irritability, Impatience, Anger Discomfort in social situations, Depression, Decrease in esteem What are “Stressors” Stressor: "n. any event, force, or condition that results in physical or emotional stress. Stressors may be internal or external forces that require adjustment or coping strategies on the part of the affected individual." Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 15 of 20 Stressors for Students in Everyday Life Relationship problems - with friends/family Academic Pressure - Homework/ Assignments/ Deadlines/ Scholastic achievement/ Sitting exams! Being bullied Extracurriculars Money worries- Work/financial troubles Death of a loved one Health related concerns Unsafe living environment Isolation The 4 Trauma Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn Trauma responses are instinctive and automatic reactions to overwhelming and traumatic events. They are designed to protect us from further harm and help us cope with the overwhelming emotions that follow a traumatic experience. One widely recognized model of trauma responses is the 4 F's, which stands for Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Each of these responses has unique characteristics and manifestations. Fight Trauma Response The Fight response involves intense anger, rage, bullying, and intimidation. When we experience a traumatic event, our bodies may respond by becoming angry and aggressive to protect ourselves. We may feel a strong urge to fight back and defend ourselves from the perceived threat. Flight Trauma Response The Flight response manifests as panic, worry, rumination, and perfectionism. This response is characterized by a need to escape the perceived threat. We may become hyper-vigilant and constantly on edge, always looking for a way out of the situation. We may also ruminate on the traumatic event, obsessively thinking about what happened and what could have been done differently. Freeze Trauma Response The Freeze response is characterized by dissociation, feeling numb, and being stuck. When we experience trauma, our bodies may shut down as a way to protect ourselves. We may feel disconnected from our emotions, and our bodies may become numb. We may also feel stuck, unable to move or act. Fawn Trauma Response The Fawn response entails identity confusion, having no boundaries, codependency, and being a people pleaser. This response involves a need to appease the perceived threat, often at the expense of our own needs and well-being. We Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 16 of 20 may feel confused about our identity and our boundaries, and we may become overly dependent on others for validation and approval. Understanding our trauma responses can help us recognize when we are experiencing a trigger or an overwhelming situation. It allows us to identify our reactions and choose how we want to respond consciously. We can also learn ways to manage our reactions and move towards healing and recovery. Coping with Stress Copying Meaning – (noun.) - “the use of cognitive and behavioral strategies to manage the demands of a situation when these are appraised as taxing or exceeding one’s resources or to reduce the negative emotions and conflict caused by stress." Too much stress can cause serious health problems, but healthy coping mechanisms can help your body and mind adapt. If you learn to properly manage stress, you will have less to worry about in both the present and future, so you will be able to live more in the moment and be much happier. The good news is that you can learn ways to manage stress. To get stress under control: Find out what is causing stress in your life. Look for ways to reduce the amount of stress in your life. Learn healthy ways to relieve stress or reduce its harmful effects. Measure your stress level? Sometimes it is clear where stress is coming from. You can count on stress during a major life change such as the death of a loved one, getting married, or having a baby. But other times it may not be so clear why you feel stressed. It's important to figure out what causes stress for you. Everyone feels and responds to stress differently. Keeping a ‘stress journal’ may help. Get a notebook and write down when something makes you feel stressed. Then write how you reacted and what you did to deal with the stress. Keeping a ‘stress journal’ can help you find out what is causing your stress and how much stress you feel. Then you can take steps to reduce the stress or handle it better. Healthy Coping Mechanisms Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 17 of 20 The 4 As of Coping with stress. When stress exceeds the ability to cope, balance in the mind and body needs to be restored. Stress management is an effective tool to accomplish this. The four As of stress management are to avoid, alter, accept and adapt. Avoid Take control. Taking control of stressful, routine tasks helps to build confidence. For example, leaving earlier for work or taking a new route can ease the stress of traffic. Preparing lunch can ease the stress of waiting in a line during lunchtime. Avoid bothersome people. Physical distance from someone who is causing stress can relieve tension. Say “no.”. You have a lot of responsibilities and demands on your time. At a certain point, you cross the line between being charitable and being foolish. Worry and stress often result from our resistance to use a simple two-letter word - - no. The "yes" leads to over-committing, over-promising and sometimes even compromising our values and priorities. Most people have a lot of responsibilities and very little spare time. Saying ‘no’ to social invitations, extra responsibilities at work, or volunteer requests can be difficult, but it is often needed for personal mental health. Being able to set boundaries and protect your time, talents and energy can work big miracles. It serves to set limits. It can remove projects and activities that serve no real purpose. It can keep persistent people from monopolizing your time. Most people will appreciate the honesty in a statement such as, "I need to pass on this one. My plate is full, and I don't have the time for that right now." Set Priorities. Worry arises because we have unrealistic expectations about what we can do or have no sense of priority. You need to have a set of realistic expectations. Ask yourself: "What's top priority for today?" "What's the worst that could happen if this didn't get done?" "If I could get only three things done today, what would I choose them to be?" "What activities are most in line with my purpose and values?" Create a to-do list. Making a to-do list helps the mind let go of stressful thoughts regarding required tasks. Ditch part of your list. Label your to-do list with A's, B's and C's, according to importance. On hectic days, scratch the C's from your list. Scratching an item off the to- do list can create a feeling of accomplishment. Alter When stressful situations cannot be avoided, behaviors, communication, and time management may need to be altered. Approaches include the following: Ask others to change their behavior. And be willing to do the same. Small issues often snowball and turn into huge problems if they aren’t resolved in a timely manner. It’s okay to ask others to change bothersome behavior; however, it’s important to listen to others about personal bothersome behavior, too. Communicate openly. Honesty is always the best policy. When sharing feelings, using “I” statements rather than “you” statements helps to negate any blame on the other person. Example - "I feel frustrated by shorter deadlines and a heavier workload. Is there something we can do to balance things out? “ Manage time better. Grouping similar tasks together can increase efficiency, resulting in lessened stress. The reward of increased efficiency will be extra time. State limits in advance. Prior to engaging in a long conversation, letting the other person know if time is limited avoids any hard feelings. So, instead of stewing over a colleague's nonstop chatter, politely start the conversation with, "I've got only five minutes to cover this.“ Work hard. Worry and stress is often a signal to do something. Worry arises when there are deadlines and things that are building up. That means it is time to get it done. Sometimes all the stress management strategies in the world are no substitute for seeing a task to completion. Work can be healing in and of itself. The activity gives us something new to think about and helps us to feel in control. When you start crossing items off your to-do list, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and that you are getting somewhere, moving forward. Rehearse success. Instead of imagining how badly things might turn out, take a few minutes to mentally rehearse success. Picture yourself sailing through first dates, family events, evaluations, or any other events you typically dread. Hear yourself performing well at presentations or during meetings. Feel what it would be like to overcome obstacles, accomplish goals, and resolve conflict. Anticipating success can increase the chance that it will happen. It can increase your confidence, decrease your worry and set up an expectation that things will turn out well. Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 18 of 20 Accept Many times, acceptance is the best way to avoid stress. Approaches include the following: Talk with others. Feelings are legitimate even if frustrating situations cannot be changed. Discussing stressful situations with a friend who actively listens and understands is helpful. Forgive others. Forgiving takes practice. Learning forgiveness releases negative energy from the mind and body. Practice positive self-talk. Negative thoughts tend to feed off each other, creating additional negative thoughts. Positive self-talk can reduce stress and help maintain objectivity. Learn from mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable and should be used as teachable moments rather than create feelings of self-loathing. Adapt Adapting often involves changing expectations, which in turn, lowers stress levels. Approaches include the following: Adjust standards. Perfection is impossible. Striving for perfection can cause feelings of frustration and guilt. Adjusting personal expectations can reduce stress. Practice stopping bad thoughts. Negative thoughts should immediately be replaced with positive ones. Refusal to replay a stressful situation in the mind may cause it to be less stressful. Reframe the issue. Looking at situations from a different viewpoint is often helpful. For example, rather than being frustrated for using a sick day from work, use the day to catch up on television programs or read a book. Adopt mantra sayings. Mentally repeating confident sentences, such as, “I can do this,” has a positive effect on stressful situations. Create a list of happy resources. Making a list of happy experiences, situations and thoughts can put things into perspective. Looking back on this list during a stressful situation can help calm the mind. Look at the big picture. Figuring out if something will matter in one year or in five years is important. If it won’t, letting it go can relieve stress. Stress is a part of everyday life; however, practicing the 4 As of stress management can help. Stress Management through Self – Care The best ways to manage stress in hard times are through self-care: Avoid drugs and alcohol. They may seem to be a temporary fix to feel better, but in the long run they can create more problems and add to your stress—instead of take it away. Find support. Seek help from a partner, family member, friend, counselor, doctor, or clergyperson. Having a sympathetic, listening ear and sharing about your problems and stress really can lighten the burden. Connect socially. After a stressful event, it is easy isolate yourself. Make sure that you are spending time with loved ones. Consider planning fun activities with your partner, children, or friends. Take care of yourself by Eating a healthy, well-balanced diet – Avoid coffee, excessive salt, fried and processed food, nicotine, booze Exercising regularly Getting plenty of sleep Giving yourself a break if you feel stressed out—for example, treat yourself to a therapeutic massage Maintaining a normal routine Meditating/ Mindfulness/ Breathing exercises Trying something new. /Pursuing a hobby or something that relaxes you – music, movies, arts Journaling Let your feelings out. Talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when you need to, with someone you trust. Shifting your attention from "What am I feeling?" to "What needs doing?" Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 19 of 20 Improve your sense of humor Laugh out Loud (LOL) A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Find a way to laugh about your own situations and watch your stress begin to fade away. Even if it feels forced at first, practice laughing. It does your body good. Share a laugh. Make it a habit to spend time with friends who make you laugh. And then return the favor by sharing funny stories or jokes with those around you. Laughter can: Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling. Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress. Improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. In contrast, positive thoughts actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses. Relieve pain. Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers. Laughter may also break the pain-spasm cycle common to some muscle disorders. Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people. Improve your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and make you feel happier. Put humor on your horizon. - Find a few simple items, such as photos or comic strips that make you chuckle. Then hang them up at home or in your office. Keep funny movies or comedy albums on hand for when you need an added humor boost. Browse through your local bookstore or library's selection of joke books and get a few rib ticklers in your repertoire that you can share with friends. Know what isn't funny. Don't laugh at the expense of others. Some forms of humor aren't appropriate. Use your best judgment to discern a good joke from a bad, or hurtful, one. Laughter is the best medicine Go ahead and give it a try. Turn the corners of your mouth up into a smile and then give a laugh, even if it feels a little forced. Once you've had your chuckle, take stock of how you're feeling. Are your muscles a little less tense? Do you feel more relaxed or buoyant? That's the natural wonder of laughing at work. In a Nutshell Course: Essential Professional Skills | Semester III | Unit 3 : Emotional Intelligence | Page 20 of 20