The Marriage Bed: Can it be Defiled? - Frank Hammond PDF

 THE MARRIAGE BED by Frank Hammond ISBN 10: 0-89228-240-1 ISBN 13: 978-089228-240-1 Copyright © 1999. Revised 2011 Impact Christian Books IMPACT CHRISTIAN BOOKS, INC....

 THE MARRIAGE BED by Frank Hammond ISBN 10: 0-89228-240-1 ISBN 13: 978-089228-240-1 Copyright © 1999. Revised 2011 Impact Christian Books IMPACT CHRISTIAN BOOKS, INC. 332 Leffingw ell Ave., Suite 101 Kirkw ood, MO 63122 (314) 822-3309 www.impactchristianbooks.com All passages are from the New King James Bible unless otherw ise noted. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  CONTENTS Introduction What Defiles the Marriage Bed A Legal Right to Demonic Spirits Unnatural Acts Come Under Judgment The Benefits of a Holy & Pure Marriage When Husband & Wife Consent? “Go and Sin No More”  THE MARRIAGE BED Introduction Can the marriage bed be defiled? Or, does anything and everything go so long as husband and wife are in agreement with their sexual activities? Did God make the marriage bed for human pleasure and leave it to husband and wife as to what takes place between them? Is there anything in scripture that forbids oral and anal sex? These and other related questions often arise in marriage counseling and during deliverance ministry. Let’s see what the Bible teaches, and examine gates where demons enter. While there is no specific passage in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt not engage in oral or anal sex,” the Bible definitely provides guiding principles. God’s Word emphasizes purity and holiness in all of life. We are commanded to crucify the lusts of the flesh which are contrary to the Holy Spirit’s character and purposes. Hebrews 13:4 links honoring marriage with keeping the marriage bed undefiled.  Therefore Hebrews 13:4 is a key passage. The King James translation of this verse is inaccurate and misleading. This has caused some to conclude that in the marriage bed “anything goes.” The King James Translation reads, “The marriage bed is undefiled,” (Emphasis mine). This translation indicates that the marriage bed is automatically undefiled and therefore incapable of being defiled. Nothing could be farther from the truth. An accurate translation of this verse clearly shows that the marriage bed can be defiled. The husband and wife are admonished not to let it become defiled but to keep it pure. Let’s examine a couple of other translations. The NEW A MERICAN STANDARD translates Heb. 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Emphasis mine). The NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION renders this verse, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” First, marriage should be held in honor by all. Why? Because God the Father bestowed honor upon it when He instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden before man’s fall (Gen 2:18–25). God the Son honored marriage by performing his first miracle at the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1–11). God the Holy Spirit honored marriage by making it a type of the union that exists between Christ and His bride, the Church (Eph. 5:31). Second, marriage is honored when its purpose is honored. The foremost purpose of marriage is procreation. “God blessed them [Adam and Eve] and said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” Gen. 1:28. In order for conception to occur, the man’s seed must be deposited in woman’s body in order to fertilize her ovum. Having children is the “normal” result of marriage. Children never result from oral and anal sex! This is abnormal and dishonors marriage, because God’s purpose for the union is ignored in favor of personal sensations and pleasures. Third, Marriage is honored when the marriage bed is kept undefiled. “The marriage bed” is an inoffensive term for sexual intercourse. Husbands and wives are admonished, “let the marriage bed be undefiled” which clearly indicates that it can be defiled. What Defiles the Marriage Bed What defiles the marriage bed? This same scripture answers succinctly. There are two things that will defile the marriage bed – fornication and adultery. “For fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Adultery (moichalis) is marital unfaithfulness; extra-marital sex; unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another. It is obvious that adultery on the part of either spouse will defile the marriage bed. “Defile” (Greek: miaino) means to “stain,” hence to pollute, contaminate or soil in the sense of moral defilement, even with the connotation of “with guilt or demonic processes.” 1 “Fornication” (pornous) is a very broad term which encompasses prostitution, one who has intercourse with prostitutes, homosexuality and every sort of illegitimate sexual intercourse including sodomy. The word “sodomy” is derived from Sodom, a city which God destroyed with fire and brimstone because of its widespread and blatant homosexuality. How is sodomy practiced? It is practiced through oral and anal sex. Webster’s definition of “sodomy” is, “Carnal copulation with a member of the same sex or with an animal or unnatural carnal copulation with a member of the opposite sex” (Emphasis mine). This definition is enlightening and important in answering the question, “Can the marriage bed be defiled by oral or anal sex?” Since sodomy can be carnal copulation with a member of the opposite sex, husband and wife CAN introduce sodomy into the marriage bed through oral and anal sex. In Paul’s writings, “fornication” denoted any kind of unlawful sexual intercourse. Paul was combating Gnosticism which had invaded the church. This philosophy held the belief that “all things are lawful.” The Gnostics believed that through knowledge the limitations of temporal life were left behind, and one could live out a life of unlimited freedom within the context of this world. In 1 Cor. 5:1, the Church at Corinth is instructed to excommunicate an incestuous member because failure to do so would endanger the whole church. A Legal Right to Demonic Spirits Porneia (fornication) gives legal right to demonic spirits. This is clearly evidenced when demons of oral sex are challenged and cast out. These unclean spirits sometimes betray their presence by the way they manifest. The manifestations of oral sex demons are repulsive as they display themselves through licking and sucking displays. Further, the presence of oral sex demons is often discerned by a distinctive, offensive, fetid breath. Once one has encountered such manifestations there can remain no doubt as to the demonic nature of these perverted sexual practices. The oral sex spirit is manifestly “a different spirit” 2 Cor. 11:4; a spirit that is incompatible with the Holy Spirit. Paul warns not only the Corinthians but also the Galatians and others [Gal. 5:19; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:3] against porneia because it affects both the church and the whole person. Unnatural Acts Come Under Judgment Strictly defined, oral and anal sex practiced between those of the opposite sex (including husband and wife) is a form of sodomy, a practice that God unequivocally condemns. Thus, the marriage bed becomes defiled and subject to God’s certain judgment, “For fornicators... God will judge.” He will pass sentence upon and condemn adulterers and fornicators. Oral and anal sex is unnatural; it is against nature. Vaginal intercourse is THE natural God-ordained way to practice sex between husband and wife. God disapproves of unnatural sexual practices: “ God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them... God gave them over to degrading passions; for t heir women ex changed t he nat ural funct ion for t hat which is unnat ural, and in t he same  way t he men abandoned t he nat ural funct ion of woman and burned in their desire tow ard one another, men w ith men committing indecent acts receiving in their ow n persons the due penalty of their error. ” Romans 1:24,26,27 (Emphasis mine) “Unnatural” sexual practices are those which are contrary to nature. Thus, nature testifies against the unclean practices of oral and anal sex. Those who practice these perverse ways can expect to “receive in their own persons the due penalty for their error” Rom. 1:27. The Amplified Bible’s translation is even more forceful: “... suffering in their own bodies and personalities the inevitable consequences and penalty of their wrong doing and going astray, which was [their] fitting retribution” Rom. 1:27. An example of penalty for going against nature is found in the transmission of herpes, a presently incurable venereal disease. Herpes simplex is a common cold virus which can be contracted and spread through oral sex. The following quotation is from The American Social Health Association: “Herpes is spread by skin to skin contact. Unlike a flu virus that you can get through the air, herpes spreads by direct contact, that is, directly from the site of infection to the site of contact. For example, if you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, you can give your partner genital herpes. Finally, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on your partner’s genitals (oral sex), you can give your partner genital herpes.” Anal sex is grossly unnatural. It, too, will produce penalties in the physical body. Through anal sex, sperm is deposited in the lower bowel track. The male sperm is alive and very aggressive. The walls of the intestines were not designed by God to handle sperm, as was the was the female’s vagina and uterus, so the sperm attacks and damages the walls of the intestines. Anal sex is against nature! The physical consequence of damaged intestines is “receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error” Rom. 1:27. In Revelation 22:15 we read of those who will be excluded from the Heavenly City. “For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.” “Dogs” refers to sodomites. This is why deliverance ministers commonly refer to the oral sex spirit as “the dog spirit.” We have all watched the repulsive behavior of dogs as they mount one another and as they lick one another’s private parts. Such behavior may be natural for dogs but not for humans! Gen. 38:1–10 is another passage to consider. Here we read of Judah’s three sons born to him through a Canaanite wife. Judah’s first-born son, Er, “was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord took his life” v. 7. Thereupon, Judah instructed his second, Onan, to go to his brother’s wife, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law, and raise up offspring to his brother. “Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed [sperm] on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also” v. 9-10. Was God’s death judgment upon Onan due to his refusal to fulfill his obligation to insure the lineage of his deceased brother (see Deut. 25:5–10), or due to the fact that he let his semen fall to the ground? The question is debated both ways, but of this we can be sure: Life and life sources are sacred to the Lord. There are two bodily fluids, blood and semen, that carry life and are to be hallowed. Neither are to be spilled with disregard of their worth. “ When you go out as an army against enemies, then you shall keep yourself f rom every evil thing. If there is among you any man w ho is unclean because of a nocturnal emission [w et dream], then he must go outside the camp; he may not reenter the camp. But it shall be w hen evening approaches, he shall bathe himself w ith w ater, and at sundow n he may reenter the camp”. Deut. 23:9–11 (Brackets mine).  The law called for special cleansing even from the unintentional spilling of semen. Also, physical warfare is a type of our spiritual warfare. In order to be victorious we must keep ourselves pure and free of all evil. The Benefits of a Holy & Pure Marriage On a positive note, when the sexual relationship between husband and wife is kept holy, pure and godly it will produce the highest possible enjoyment and satisfaction. This is altogether consistent with the nature and ministry of the Holy Spirit. From my years of marriage counseling, I am convinced that most Christian couples do not consider their coming together in the marriage bed as a spiritual event. After years of marriage, my wife and I discovered that a deeper satisfaction and fuller appreciation of each other resulted from our love- making time becoming something beautiful in the Lord: speaking love and appreciation to each other; thanking the Lord for our marriage; blessing each other and praying in the Spirit. Something as beautiful and sacred as the marriage bed ought to be enjoyed “in the Spirit” rather than given over to a purely physical event. The marriage bed is kept honorable when the husband and wife honor each other. 1 Thess. 4:3–4 says “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is that you abstain from sexual immorality; that of you know how to possess his own vessel [Gk. body or wife] 2 in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God.” Husbands, “honor” your wives as “fellow heirs of the grace of life” 1 Pet. 3:7. When Husband & Wife Consent? When oral and/or anal sex is practiced, it is more often at the insistence of the husband. Wives are more apt to find it repulsive, leaving them feeling ashamed and defiled. Some wives have expressed fear of reprisal from their husbands if they refuse his demands for oral and anal sex. Such domination and intimidation by the husband does not reflect agape love. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word” Eph. 5:25. Some have reasoned that when there is common consent between husband and wife, then any sort of deviant behavior in the marriage bed is acceptable. If common consent is enough to set aside the Word of God then Ananias and Sapphira should not have been found guilty of lying to the Holy Spirit. They were certainly in agreement. Peter charged them, “How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord?” Acts 5:9. Any agreement between husband and wife must be in agreement with the spirit of God’s Word. Agreement to act contrary to God’s Word by defiling the marriage bed can never be justified in God’s sight. Oral and anal sex involves sexual acts that parallel those of homosexuals and lesbians, and since these works of the flesh give legal right to demons, we should not be surprised to discover that some who engage in oral and anal sex begin to seek homosexual and lesbian partners outside of the marriage relationship. During a deliverance session, a Christian woman confessed to us that she had fallen into a lesbian relationship. Through the operation of the gift of “the word of knowledge” 1 Cor. 12:8, we were shown that her husband demanded oral sex, and this had opened her to lesbian spirits. She confirmed that he insisted on oral sex and threatened to divorce her if she refused. Both husband and wife were recognized leaders in their Christian community. She was delivered from the lesbian spirits and refused any longer to submit to his ungodly demands. She was prepared to suffer whatever repercussions followed her decision to keep the marriage bed undefiled. When an authority over us demands us to act contrary to God’s authority, we must have the same courage that Peter and the other apostles exhibited when forbidden by the high priest to teach of Jesus and His resurrection. They simply replied, “We must obey God rather than men” Acts. 5:29. Their refusal to comply with an order that opposed the commandment of God was not rebellion, and neither is a wife’s refusal to submit to oral or anal sex. The difference between rebellion and non- compliance is heart attitude. Persecution resulted from the apostles’ decision to obey God. Likewise, some wives may experience persecution by their decision to obey God and kick the devil out of the marriage bed. Let there be no misunderstanding; there is a place for appropriate sexual foreplay between husband and wife. Sexual pleasure is not to be frowned upon or denied. Do not confuse acceptable arousal techniques with the perverse acts of oral and anal sex which lead to climax and replace natural intercourse. Rather, let the marriage bed be filled with pure love, for “Love does not act unbecomingly. Love [God’s love in us] does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking” 1 Cor. 13:5, AMPLIFIED BIBLE. Once the door of sexual perverseness is opened, there is no end to where it can lead. This fact is well illustrated from the report that came to me of a pastor who counseled that oral and anal sex are “Okay.” He went on to say, “If the husband and wife go so far as to want to use whips, chains, or handcuffs, as long as they are in agreement, there is nothing wrong with it.” Sadomasochism! “The derivation of pleasure from the infliction of physical or mental pain either on others or on oneself” (Webster). Can one imagine anything more contradictory to the Spirit of Holiness and the gentleness of Jesus Christ? It is sad beyond words to see professing Christians fall into agreement with the degraded morality of the world. We as Christians ought to set an example of integrity and purity. Let us not be found guilty of lowering moral standards. Rather, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled” Heb. 13:4. “Go and Sin No More” In John 8.3–11, the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and set her before Jesus. According to the Law of Moses she deserved death by stoning. What would Jesus do? He challenged her accusers, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” The accusers left, beginning with the older ones until there were none left. Jesus said to the woman, “Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on sin no more.” This in no way suggests that Jesus condones sexual sin, but it does mean that, along with other sins, it is not excluded from forgiveness. The wonderful thing about God’s grace is His forgiveness. If you are convicted by the Word of God that you have defiled the marriage bed, or are guilty of any sexual sin, you are a candidate for God’s pardoning grace. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9. Confession of sin issues from a repentant heart. Repentance is a resolve to quit sinning. In the words of Jesus, “Go your way. From now on sin no more.” 1 Theological Dictionary of The New Testament, p. 953 2 See: Twentieth Century New Testament & Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words, P. 1198 For more information on the consequences of sexual behavior contrary to the will of God, see the following resources: Repercussions from Sexual Sins by Frank Hammond Learn what the Bible constitutes as sexual sin; How pornography is a gate for demonic entrance; How to conquer sexual sins; and Deliverance from sexual sins! Included is a list of sexual spirits that relate to the underlying sins. (ISBN 0-89228-205-3) An Introduction to Sex, Demons & Morality by Peter Hobson Millions of people throughout the world have never been taught to exercise responsible restraint in their sex lives, totally misusing the enormous gift entrusted to them by a loving God. The good news is that there is a way of escape, for all those enslaved by lusts. This book is written that you might experience the full salvation that Jesus Christ died to provide you. Peter Hobson exposes the spiritual forces at work behind lusts and shows how to rid yourself and to elude their clutches in the future. Topics covered: Lust, Pornography, Masturbation, Fornication, Frigidty, Incest, Transvestism, Bestiality, Homosexuality, etc... (ISBN 0-94725-208-8) Perry - A Transformed Transsexual by Perry Desmond From altar boy to prostitute, from hormone and silicon injections to drastic sex-change surgery, all part of a quest for meaning and self-identity. And then, the greatest change of all...a new person in Jesus! Through a life-long struggle with transsexuality, Perry finally comes to understand the source of true love. “ I thought God had made a mistake. He must have been playing tiddly winks or something when I was born. He should have pressed the ‘girl’ button, but he pressed the one for boys instead. I wanted desperately to be a woman, and to have money, fame and pleasure. On February 9, 1974, I found what I'd been looking for all my life... Dresses only covered my masculinity. Makeup only masked it. Silicone only reshaped it. Surgery only mutilated it. Underneath, in every cell of my body, the truth was recorded ten million times, in every gene. I was a man!” (ISBN 0-89228-099-9)