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 REWIRE YOUR BRAIN 2 BOOKS IN 1: DARK PSYCHOLOGY SECRETS AND STOICISM. HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOLOGY AND BRAINWASHING. MIND CONTROL METHODS, DARK NLP, BODY LANGUAGE AND SUBLIMINAL PERSUASION Byrch Mind and Benedict Covert © Copyright 2020 - All rights r...

 REWIRE YOUR BRAIN 2 BOOKS IN 1: DARK PSYCHOLOGY SECRETS AND STOICISM. HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOLOGY AND BRAINWASHING. MIND CONTROL METHODS, DARK NLP, BODY LANGUAGE AND SUBLIMINAL PERSUASION Byrch Mind and Benedict Covert © Copyright 2020 - All rights reserved. The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher. Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this book. Either directly or indirectly. Legal Notice: This book is copyright protected. This book is only for personal use. You cannot amend, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within this book, without the consent of the author or publisher. 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For Audible US For Audible UK For Audible FR For Audible DE  TABLE OF CONTENCTS DRAK PSYCHOLOGY SECRETS AND STOICISM PART ONE: DARK PSYCHOLOGY SECRETS INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1:DELVING INTO DARK PSYCHOLOGY CHAPTER 2:THE DARK TRIAD CHAPTER 3:EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION CHAPTER 4:DEAL WITH MANIPULATORS CHAPTER 5:CHARACTERISTICS OF MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE CHAPTER 6:UNDERSTANDING DARK PERSUASION CHAPTER 7:DARK PERSUASION METHODS CHAPTER 8:WHAT IS NLP? CHAPTER 9:TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 10: MIRRORING CHAPTER 11: COVERT MANIPULATION CHAPTER 12: BASIC FUNDAMENTALS CONCLUSION PART TWO: STOICISM INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1 WHAT IS STOICISM? CHAPTER 2 THE PROMISE OF STOIC PHILOSOPHY CHAPTER 3 THE MOST IMPORTANT STOIC PHILOSOPHERS CHAPTER 4 THE STOIC HAPPINESS TRIANGLE CHAPTER 5 STOIC PRACTICES CHAPTER 6 IMPORTANT IDEAS IN STOICISM CHAPTER 7 THE SCIENCE OF LETTING GO OF THE PAST AND LIVING IN THE PRESENT CHAPTER 8 HOW TO BECOME UNATTACHED TO EXTERNAL THINGS CHAPTER 9 STOIC MEDITATION CHAPTER 10 STOICISM AND CHRISTIANITY CHAPTER 11 STOICISM AND BUDDHISM CONCLUSION  TABLE OF CONTENCTS HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOLOGY AND BRAINWASHING PART ONE: HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOLOGY INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1.HOW CAN ANYONE READ PEOPLE? CHAPTER 2.OUR BODIES AND THE WAY THEY TALK CHAPTER 3.THE BASICS: CHAPTER 4.VERBAL VS. NONVERBAL CHAPTER 5.YOUR MIND AND THE WAY YOU COMMUNICATE CHAPTER 6.INTRICACIES OF THE FACE CHAPTER 7.TRUTH AND RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 8.CONFIDENCE AND HOW IT IS DISPLAYED CHAPTER 9.HOW TO FAKE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE: CHAPTER 10. DETECTING LYING AND DECEPTION CHAPTER 11. SPEED READING CHAPTER 12. PERFECTING THE SKILL OF ANALYZING PEOPLE THROUGH THE PRACTICE CONCLUSION PART TWO: BRAIN BRAINWASHING INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1 WHAT IS BRAINWASHING? CHAPTER 2 THE POWER OF PERSUASION CHAPTER 3 STEPS IN BRAINWASHING CHAPTER 4 HYPNOSIS CHAPTER 5 THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PERSUASION AND MANIPULATION CHAPTER 6 ETHICAL PERSUASION CHAPTER 7 MANIPULATORS CHAPTER 8 DARK PSYCHOLOGY DEFINED CHAPTER 9 HOW TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF TIME AS A MANIPULATOR CHAPTER 10 COVERT EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION CHAPTER 11 DECEPTION CHAPTER 12 HOW TO AVOID DARK EMOTIONAL PERSUASION CHAPTER 13 DARK PERSUASION AND DARK PERSUASION TECHNIQUES CONCLUSION DARK PSYCHOLOGY SECRETS AND STOICISM: RECOGNIZE AND DEFEND YOURSELF FROM TOXIC PEOPLE BY LEARNING MIND CONTROL AND DARK NLP. REWIRE YOUR BRAIN PRACTICING THE ART OF LIVING FROM THE ANCIENT PHILOSOPHY Byrch Mind and Benedict Covert  PART I – Dark Psychology Secrets  Introduction H umans are complex beings. Just when you think you know someone; they bring forth another part of them that makes you wonder if you knew them at all. From people we meet at the mall to our spouses, to acquaintances and colleagues at work, there is a growing need to understand and analyze people. This is important as it helps build long-lasting and reliable relationships. People you meet every day have various agendas. Even the person you are in a relationship with might not be that honest with you. However, the ability to see beyond the veil people put on will go a long way to help you. You get to see everyone for who they really are and know how to relate with them. The fact that you are on planet Earth makes it compulsory for you to relate with people. We deal with people every day; hence, knowing how to connect with them matters. You can function and thrive well with other people through good communication. Communication, however, comes in many ways, and your social interaction skills depend on your ability to hear past the unspoken words. This calls for the need to be able to read and analyze people. It is not rocket science meant for a particular group of people and trained FBI profilers. Think about how secure your life will be if you get to see people for who they really are. You can filter out the fake ones and concentrate only on genuine relationships that make sense. Moreover, you get to have an edge in your business and at work since your ability to read and analyze people sets you above your colleagues. Before you drive to the mall, you first make a quick judgment call to determine that it’s safe. In other words, the ability to read people is inherent in you, in everyone. However, you can get better at it. You can develop your ability to analyze people such that you get the upper hand in every interaction and relationship you are in. This includes proven and tested tips from experts. We are not giving you some theories that someone sat down and formed. The tips in here have been proven to give people an edge in their career, business, and relationship. Hence, you are making a wise decision in laying your hands on this. Irrespective of the kind of person you have to deal with, you can gain the upper hand in such a relationship. It is not that hard, and all the information here is all you need. This will hold you by the hand and guide you in seeing people for who they really are. Simple body gestures that you never counted before will make sense. There are times when people tell you one thing, but the signals coming from their body say something else. This will teach you how to watch out for such cues. Besides, do you know that you can use body language to reinforce your point? How will a gesture that is as simple as a handshake set the tone for a meeting? I bet you’ve never realized you could be giving the wrong handshake all this while. What about lying! How can you be sure that all your interactions and communication with people are honest? There are simple signs that a person is lying. However, even though those signs of deception are staring at you, you will keep missing them if you don’t know how to analyze people. Have you ever thought someone was attracted to you but could not read the signs? Have you beaten yourself up for missing out on the opportunity to talk to your crush because you dread the embarrassment of making a fool of yourself? There are subtle signs of attraction that a crush will give you. You, however, need to know how to read these signs correctly. There is no way you will read this and remain the same. You will surely improve the way you interact with people, and you will see them for who they really are while building long-lasting and productive relationships. One of the most important skills you can learn is knowing how to read people. The best part is, just like any other skill, it can be learned and developed. You do not need to go to any particular school or have some form of training to hone your people-reading skills. The art of reading people is a natural skill that people are born with. In all forms of social interaction, we are continually reading people and situations to make conclusions. From reading the body language to decoding subtle signals of the eye, emotional intelligence, and learning to manage people, reading people is a pretty broad field. It does take practice, commitment, and insight to be good at reading people. Besides, the ability to apply your people-reading skills to the world at large helps you get better at reading people. The world is made of people. Life is better enjoyed when you have people to relate with. However, your survival in the world also depends on your ability to decide when not to cooperate with some people, and that is why your ability to read people is important. There are times you are unconsciously cooperating with others. The fact that you walk gently to your place of work without causing a scene or doing anything to warrant unnecessary attention is an act of cooperation with the rest of the society on some levels. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to go on a killing spree. You are connected to the Internet and the rest of the world alike. All these things require some form of human cooperation. For this to take place, people unconsciously have to come to a reasonable form of agreement and acceptable behavior on some level. All in all, cooperating with people is pretty important, and your decision whether to cooperate or not comes down to your ability to read people. The best salesman knows how to coax you because they are good at analyzing people. They can get you into buying what they have to offer even if you do not need what they are offering. The better you are at reading other people’s motives, the better you can deal with such a person.  Chapter 1: Delving into Dark Psychology W hen talking about dark psychology, it’s quite common to think about techniques like brainwashing and manipulation. But the fact of the matter is we don’t really know how deep dark psychology goes. After all, there is a definite method to the madness. We can’t just simply accept that dark psychology is some random phenomenon that occurs as a result of people’s wish to get their way. The truth is that there is a clear method that can be applied in various ways. That’s why this is devoted to analyzing the fundamentals of dark psychology and how it can become manifest in daily life. This will enable you to get a good foundation on this topic right from the beginning. It will allow you to begin to see the patterns that are evident in everyday life. What is Dark Psychology? For starters, it’s worth taking the time to define psychology, and subsequently, dark psychology. Generally speaking, psychology is considered to be the study of the human mind. However, broader definitions place psychology as the study of the mind and the soul. This broader interpretation makes it a bit harder to comprehend psychology as we don’t really know what the soul is. As such, it’s better to stick with the narrower vision of psychology which is the study of the mind. The mind, or psyche, is a place where thoughts, ideas and emotions can be located. This is important to note as understanding the fact that humans are made up of emotions will help you get a better feel for dark psychology. This assumption is based on the fact that emotions drive our actions and consequently influence the decisions we make. It is very rare to find individuals who maintain an objective view of life and the circumstances around them. As a result, most people tend to view things from their own personal perspective as opposed to seeing things detached from their personal emotions and valuations. Consequently, dark psychology is the application of general psychological concepts for personal gain. That’s a fairly straightforward assessment. If you plan to use psychology to help others manage their emotions and so on, then you are not in the domain of “dark” psychology. When you think about anything that’s dark, you ought to keep your mind focused on the fact that we’re talking about personal gain and benefit as opposed to helping others feel better about themselves. Now, it should be noted that we’re not necessarily talking about harming others; it’s just a question of using these techniques for your personal gain. Dark Persuasion Versus Covert Emotional Manipulation When talking about persuasion, we’re referring to the act of getting an individual to comply with a certain set of demands and requests as a result of a compelling set of reasons. This implies that the manipulator must find a way to convince their target so that they follow suit out of their own free will. This type of approach implies that the target is acting out of their own free will. So, there is no manipulation to speak of. However, things change when we begin to talk about “dark” persuasion. In dark manipulation, we’re venturing into territory in which tricks and strategies are applied to essentially force the target to do one thing or another. Such tricks and techniques may include things like coercion. Coercion happens any time a manipulator looks to exert their influence through some sort of mechanism in which the victim has no choice but to comply lest they fact the circumstances of their non-compliance. With emotional manipulation, the difference lies in the fact that the manipulator exploits certain emotional weaknesses that the victim cannot truly hide. For instance, a person who lacks affection may be tricked into doing the manipulator’s bidding out of the hope of getting the affection they seek. Moreover, the term “covert” implies that the manipulation taking place is not exactly open and obvious. Rather, it is done in a concealed manner in which the manipulator’s true intent is not evident, at least on the surface. Now, it should be said that cover emotional manipulation may happen instinctively on the part of the manipulator, that is, the manipulator isn’t fully aware that what they are doing is manipulation. This is common in people with a narcissistic personality. However, the situation really gets dark when these attitudes are done consciously and with premeditation. People Who Use Dark Psychology to Manipulate Others This is a broad question to discuss as virtually anyone can use dark psychology at any given time. Perhaps the line can be drawn when a person stops using compelling arguments and reasoning to influence others and resorts to other tactics that might be considered inappropriate or simply frowned upon by society. Such tactics aren’t always sanctioned by society but are commonly used. That is why they fall under the “dark” realm, considering the fact that if an individual is caught using them, they will most likely suffer from some type of repercussion. That being said, common areas in which you will find dark psychology are advertising, politics, religion, the workplace, relationships, family and entertainment, to name a few. When you think of these areas, perhaps the thought of dark psychology doesn’t immediately jump at you. But when you begin to peel back some of the layers, you will find that they are prevalent throughout our daily interactions. Let’s consider advertising for a moment. A common tactic such as “limited time offer” is perfectly valid is the offer is indeed for a limited time. However, a long-running infomercial uses this call to action all the time. After a while, it’s obvious that it’s not a limited time offer. It’s just a ploy that’s used to get others to buy right then and there. Perhaps a more forthcoming approach might have been to be honest that the offer stands “while supplies last.” The “limited time offer” tactic enters the realm of dark psychology the moment advertisers are lying to consumers. When consumers finally figure out that it’s just a ploy, the advert ceases to work. And just like this example, the world is littered with such ploys. The difference lies in that some are much more elaborate than others. Another classic example is politics. Politicians spend a great deal of resources trying to figure out what voters want to hear. Then, they go out and say the things that will resonate with voters. The same goes for religious cult leaders. They generally prey on the primal emotion of fear. They tell people that it’s the end of the world. So, they need to get on board before they are left behind to suffer. This is how cult leaders gain a huge following in a short period of time. Dark Persuasion Throughout History There is nothing new about dark psychology and persuasion. These tactics have been around as long as humans have. Initially, persuasion played on the primal emotions of humans such as fear, hunger, greed, and lust. Over time, these techniques, while still the same at their core, have become more and more refined. The end result is a system of techniques that have become so subtle that the average individual can’t really figure out it’s there; that is, until they are clued in. However, it wasn’t until the early 20th century in which advertising, thanks to the emergence of the first mass media outlets, really began to take off. This new domain allowed folks such as Edward Bernays, known as the “father of public relations” to really begin using covert tactics for the purpose of getting their message across the general public. With the rise of the internet, access to a global audience has never been easier. This is why social media has become so prevalent over the last 10 years or so. We are literally in the midst of a revolution in which anyone with access to the internet can potentially get their message out there without much restriction. We are not quite sure what the future holds. But one thing is certain, however people communicate in the future, there will be a way in which manipulators will be able to use those means to their advantage. Manipulators evolve with the times. So, should you. That is why reading books such as these will allow you to gain insight into the mind of these individuals. In the end, the best way that you can guard yourself is to be clear and what to expect whenever you come into contact with the various types of media out there. The Effects of Dark Psychology The effects of dark psychology have a wide range. These can go from getting someone to buy one product to voting for a political candidate. It should be noted that we are not focusing entirely on mind control, that is the type of persuasion that can lead manipulators to order victims to kill people. We’ll be discussing how each of the techniques involved can create a response in you that will compel you to get the latest phone or purchase a specific brand of clothing. Moreover, these effects can essentially blind your sense to the true intentions of manipulators. In many ways, you will find that there is an attempt at your free will. Again, we’re not talking about cartoonish attempts to control your mind. We’re talking about playing with your feelings so that you can sign up for a cult or a political party. In some of the darkest twists that you can find, manipulators find ways of taking over people’s opinions and perspectives to the degree that a single organization can control an entire country. This can lead to the control of an entire social group by a reduced number of individuals. Of course, this isn’t something that happens overnight. But when you are aware of how manipulation can be used, you will find that it’s not quite as hard as it seems.  Chapter 2: The Dark Triad B ecause of the personality traits that are possessed by some people, it may be difficult to deal with them as they may always come off as disagreeable. For those who manage to get close to them, they may be volatile, domineering and very arrogant. However, if one can manage them carefully, it is possible to develop their strengths and neutralize those unsavory elements that are present in their behavior to bring team harmony back to life. There are, however, other behaviors and characteristics that can cause serious damage to a person when he displays a combination of these traits, which may be toxic. When he is a member of a team, he may undermine his colleagues in ways that could be lasting, and many people even go as far as poisoning or destroying the team. Psychologists in various studies have come up with three different traits that make up the dark triad. These traits are: Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy. Let’s take a critical look at this dark triad to know the behaviors that are associated with them and look at the ways in which they may have impacts on work and social relationships. Understanding the Dark Triad It is not very likely for you to have heard the term “dark triad” anywhere around your workplace even though it is one of the buzzwords in the field of psychology that is used to refer to three different but related personality traits. Machiavellianism This word, as you may have rightly guessed, comes from the famous 16th century Italian politician and diplomat, Niccolo Machiavelli, who was notorious for his book, the Prince, written in 1513. The book was interpreted to be his way of endorsing the dark art of being cunning and deceitful when it comes to diplomacy. When it comes to Machiavellianism, duplicity, self-interest, manipulation and a complete lack of emotions and morals are major characteristics. Those who suffer from Machiavellianism are usually very focused on their own selfish interests while they try to deceive, exploit and manipulate other people in order to achieve their own goals. A person with the Machiavellianism trait will possess and exhibit some or many of the following tendencies: Focus on their personal interests and ambitions. Give high priority to money and power above relationships. Perceived by others as both charming and confident. In order to get ahead, they tend to exploit and manipulate other people. Tells lies and is deceitful when he thinks it is required. Prone to flattery. Lack values and principles. Appear to be aloof or very hard to get to know. Cynical of any form of goodness and morality. They will easily cause others to harm to enable them to achieve their own means. Has very low levels of empathy. Often very scared of commitment or any form of emotional attachment. Thanks to their calculative nature, they can come off as very patient people.  They will not easily reveal their true intentions. Always prone to having casual sex. Experts in reading social situations and other people. Lack of warmth when it comes to social interactions. They are often not aware of the possible consequences of their actions. May have a little difficulty in finding/identifying their own emotions. The Machiavellianism Scale: This is a test that gives a score of up to a hundred. It consists of many questions and those who score anything above 60 are “high Machs” while those who score anything below 60 are “low Machs.” High Machs are typically very engrossed in their personal well-being, as they are of the opinion that a person must be deceptive in order to be able to get ahead in life. They do not easily trust the potential goodness of other humans as they also think that it is naïve to depend on other people. They, however, give priority to power above love and connection. Ultimately, they do not believe that there is a natural tendency for humans to be good. Unlike the high Mach, a low Mach is always empathetic to other people and is honest in their dealings with others. They are also very trusting and believe in the goodness of humanity. To a low Mach, if you can abide by good morals you will succeed in life. When a person scores too low on the Machiavellian scale, he tends to be too submissive and will agree too much with the opinions of others. Narcissism This takes its root from the Greek myth of Narcissus, which tells a story of a hunter that fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water that he eventually drowns in. When it comes to people with the narcissistic trait, they are known to be arrogant, boastful, overly sensitive to criticism, selfish, and lack empathy. The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder that has to do with a pattern of selfish and arrogant thoughts and behavior which comes with the lack of empathy and any form of consideration for others. Also, this disorder comes with an excessive craving for admiration. People who are living with NPD are often described as cocky, selfish, manipulative, patronizing and demanding. These attributes are often reflected in all the areas of the life of a narcissist from work, friendship, family, to intimate relationships. Those with this disorder do not find it easy to change their behavior as they are typically always resistant to change their behavior even though it is causing a lot of problems for them. They usually tend to turn to other people to put the blame on, and because of their overly sensitive nature they react badly to criticism in the slightest form or any sort of disagreement or perceived slight on their person. They identify all these as an attack. When a person is in the life of a narcissist, they tend to just go along with them instead of having to face their coldness and rage. The following are the symptoms of narcissism: A grandiose sense of self-importance/self-worth. Lives in a world of fantasy which gives support to their delusions of grandeur. In a constant quest for praise and admiration. An exaggerated sense of entitlement. Often demeans, bullies, belittles and intimidates other people. The type of self-love that is exhibited by narcissists is not the genuine type, as their quest for admiration is always driven by their need to shield their insecurities. In fact, the narcissistic personality is the most insecure of the dark triad. For a narcissist, there is a weakness that they wish to shield. So, in order to accurately shield this weakness, they turn to others to boost their self- image. To do this, they must put in a lot of mental and physical work, and it is in this that his dysfunctional attitudes begin to show itself. Psychopathy This personality trait has to do with the lack of both empathy and remorse. It is also characterized by antisocial behavior, as well as a manipulative and volatile attitude. A good point to note is the fact that there is no delineation between the traits of being psychopathic and being a psychopath when it comes to the common association of the trait with criminal violence. Although the exact causes of psychopathy are not known, it is said to likely be a combination of genetics, environmental and interpersonal factors. The genetic influence, for example, is suggested by the fact that children whose parents are psychopaths are likely to be psychopaths too. Also, the early life experiences of some people contribute to the increase in the risk of becoming a psychopath. Other factors that may lead to psychopathy includes poor parenting whereby a parent focuses on punishing the child more than they reward them. The abuse of substances by parents, separation, neglecting a child or physical abuse are other risk factors that may contribute to becoming a psychopath. The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised is commonly used to identify psychopaths. This checklist identifies and makes use of the following symptoms and signs of psychopathy: A grandiose sense of self-worth. A constant craving for stimulation. Superficial charm and glibness. Being a pathological liar. Being cunning and manipulative. Absolute lack of remorse or guilt. Absence of empathy exhibited by the callousness. Lack of deep emotions. Living a parasitic lifestyle by using other people.  Lack of control over one's behavior. Sexual promiscuity. Early signs of behavioral problems. Absence of realistic long-term goals. Easily acts on impulse. Irresponsible behavior. Blaming others for one’s own faults and not accepting responsibility. Having several marital relationships. Delinquency at a young age. Tends to revoke a conditional release. Criminal tendencies/acts in several areas of life (criminally versatile). Chapter 3: Emotional Manipulation What Is Emotional Manipulation? H ow would you feel or react when you realize that for the longest time you had been acting out of the script of someone else? That is, you have been in control of your own actions and also your life as a whole. If it sounds scary and probably annoying, that is what emotional manipulation is all about. While a lot of people talk about emotional manipulation, there are still many who don’t know what it is all about. Emotional manipulation, or sometimes called psychological manipulation or “mind-effing” is used to refer to the behavior which is intended to change the attitude as well as the behavior of other people by using deceptive, devious and sometimes abusive means. The manipulator psychologically or socially influences their victims to respond or behave to situations or issues in a manner that is unoriginal to their victims but which suits their purpose. This is classic manipulation because while you are acting out of that person’s script, you will think that you are still yourself. Emotional manipulation usually doesn’t involve using force but has a lot to do with playing with someone’s emotions and mind (psychological) to exploit them. It’s very hard to credit this concept with advantages if any, because of the covert nature of the work that goes into it and also the end results. Emotional manipulation compares to when someone uses what belongs to you to feed their own desires but in a covert manner and without your permission. While the manipulator acting in secrecy is definitely an issue, the biggest issue is when the manipulator makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do or things that don’t consider as good, or you seriously object to. Usually, when a person is ignorant of the tactics or techniques that the manipulator is using on them, they may not be able to break loose from the spell. They will keep convincing themselves that they are in charge of their life when they are actually not. But knowing the techniques can easily make them identify when they are being used. And while emotional manipulation is generally considered a bad thing, there may be times when you will need it to get what you want from people who have not been very cooperative with you and having knowledge of the tactics used would go a long way in helping you in such situations. Basically, emotional manipulators identify their victim’s psychological weak points and then work on them. This is only wise because if one makes a mistake of manipulating the other where they are the strongest, the manipulator will fail before they even begin. Expert manipulators look at an aspect that makes their victim vulnerable and work through that. The best practical tactics and techniques to emotionally manipulate others We have discussed tactics that manipulators use to manipulate their victims psychologically. While it is just the same thing, the following tactics are very specific to emotional manipulation. These tactics are not just limited to the ones discussed since every other day; manipulators are orchestrating new ways to get what they want from people. 1. Projection Projection is a diversionary tactic that manipulators employ to shift their shortcomings or deficiencies to another person. Instead of accepting responsibility for their errors, they would rather make another person take the blame. It is a psychologically abusive tactic that aims at taking the burden of guilt off their shoulders and mounting it onto someone else’s. The main motive here is to paint themselves clean, and the other person looks dirty and unfortunate. However, in a lousy situation, the manipulators are not usually the only ones to blame. It is not uncommon to encounter individuals like this once in a while. The moment a problem or defect is identified somewhere they are, such kinds of people are quick to find a victim on whom to lay the entire blame on. For example, a lazy employee who hasn’t been a good performer at their place of work, and also, the company where he works is not doing well. Being an emotional manipulator, the lazy employee will blame the company’s management as a reason for the loss. You will find them saying that the management has been ineffective or incompetent, and in the process, he leaves his own laziness out, which is actually of the main reason the company is in financial woes. Such kinds of people exist in intimate relationships. For example, instead of a partner admitting their need for intimacy, they would turn things around and accuse the other partner of being too clingy and also that they are only doing the other a favor. Their main aim is to appear stronger when they are actually the weaker ones. This manipulative tactic is also common in people who are quick to notice and point out the wrong in others. But in actuality, they are projecting their negative selves.  2. Intimidation To intimidate is to frighten or overawe another person, especially to make them do what one wants. Emotional manipulators usually apply the technique of intimidation to silence people who they consider a threat to them. In the case of a confrontation, they would look at the other into the eyes and with strange body language so that they can induce fear and distract their victims from their train of thought and make them end the debate. Emotional manipulators use this tactic to victims who are easily frightened or cajoled. As we have mentioned many times before, manipulators are very skilled at identifying the weak points of their victims and use that to exercise control on them. Once they realize that you are easily frightened, using intimidation and threats are some of the techniques they would constantly use on you. If someone exercises this manipulation on you, the best way to get out of it is by overcoming your fears and learning to stand up for yourself when intimidated. In fact, preventing yourself from revealing your weaknesses or fears to someone you can’t trust is one of the precautionary moves you can take to avoid such situations. 3. Magnifying their own problems while diminishing that of others This is also another covert emotional manipulation tactic. Emotional manipulators start by pretending that they are sorry for the things that you are going through, and while at it, they may also put on a show of short- lived empathy. This is usually a ruse to hide their true intentions. But soon after, they would quickly bring up their own problems or challenges and magnify them so much that yours end up looking insignificant. One that this manipulative can be identified is when the other person always remember they have a problem the moment you bring up your own. Instead of helping you find a solution, they would rather bring up their own and start discussing it endlessly. This unwarranted comparison can be both frustrating and annoying because it denies you the sympathy that you so much need at that point. Also, it can even make you look or feel stupid to have raised your issue at that moment. In the end, they succeed in making you feel like you are intolerant; at the end of the day, your problems are not the worst. 4. Intellectual bullying Overwhelming someone with intellectual facts is one of a kind tactic that people use to manipulate others. Don’t get it wrong though, they may not always be accurate in what they are quoting but what they do know is that the other person doesn’t have access to or a chance to verify what is being said as valid. This way, they are able to place themselves before the other as an authority of some kind in order to have a way with them. This emotional manipulation tactic is common at point of sales or in financial institutions. Because they are sweet-talkers and you can’t confirm their alleged claims, you may end up falling for their tactics unknowingly. One of the ways of avoiding to fall in this trap is knowledge; that is, being informed. You don’t necessarily have to know everything but strive to know something about everything. 5. Name-calling One of the character traits of emotional manipulators is that they have an exalted opinion of themselves that is usually false. To them, other people are never right while they are never wrong. In fact, most emotional manipulators have been said to be narcissists. Therefore, when you are about to challenge their ego by putting their thoughts and opinions into question, be prepared to be called more names other than those in your birth certificate. To be frank, if you haven’t learned to develop tough skin by now, it would be easy for you to succumb to manipulation, especially out of annoyance. It is never fun to be called names like an idiot, troublemaker, fanatic, extremist, or any other name or title. The main goal that the manipulators try to achieve by doing this is to dirty your intentions and end up silencing you.  6. Conditioning Conditioning is a psychological training method of an animal towards a particular taste or trait that the trainer wants. Now imagine that on a human being. Of course, the manipulator would do this secretly. Through emotional manipulation, the victim is the one being “trained” by the manipulator. The idea here is to make the victim do away with their initial values and instead embrace those of the manipulator. For example, if a victim values honesty, then the manipulator would present anything good in life as dishonest. That way, the victim will end up associating honesty with a set of wrong values. The main reason that manipulators do this is so that the victim fails to proceed further and might even end up being disgraced. 7. Gossiping and stalking Every emotional manipulation tactic’s main aim is to control a person. However, when manipulators find it hard to control their targeted victim, they look for other ways to achieve that by controlling how other people view or see the victim. This can be achieved by spreading false information behind the victim’s back and other times monitoring their movements. The idea here is to not only give people a bad impression about the victim but to also intimidate them. For example, when a partner hints at ending a relationship due to the other partner’s bad habits, the other partner would go around spreading lies. The intention behind this is to get people to generally dislike the victimized partner due to the lies being spread instead of people getting to know the truth. 8. Bad surprises It is nice to be surprised once in a while, especially from a loved one. But surprises from an emotional manipulator comes differently; they are used as a tool to throw their victim’s off-balance. A manipulative person would keep a promise only to say at the last moment that it won’t be possible. The main aim here is for the manipulator to get a psychological advantage over the victim by putting them in a situation where they can’t do anything but yield to their demands. At that last moment, when the victim doesn’t have any other option, the manipulator would bring out their egoistic demands that the victim would have no option but to meet them. This tactic is common among business people, and the 0key to staying out of it is to reach a legal agreement before signing a deal. 9. Personality marketing This tactic involves a person selling their alleged good qualities to another before they even get to know them personally. When the manipulative person here realizes the qualities that their targeted victim wants to associate with, they come sneakily blowing their own trumpets and marketing those qualities the victims prefer. This is a technique commonly used by politicians. They identify the qualities that their voters want in a leader and market themselves like that. It is only after they have been voted in the office that they would start showing their true colors. 10. Demeaning sarcasm While making it look like a joke, manipulators would mention things that their victim is struggling with in an underhanded way. This is meant to create feelings of insecurity to the victim and eventually overpowering them. Manipulators usually apply this tactic when they feel like their victim is getting too much recognition or attention. Demeaning sarcasm is done when a person cracks jokes about some struggles or failures in another person’s life like a failed exam or marriage. Such things aren’t anywhere near funny, but manipulators will make jokes out of them. While it may appear that it is just clowning, what the manipulator is trying to achieve is to make other people realize that the victim isn’t perfect or they aren’t worth as much as other people thought. 11. Triangulation This emotional manipulation tactic is very common in romantic relationships. It is also one of the emotional narcissists’ leading characteristics. The idea here is for the manipulator to validate their own selfish and wrongdoings towards their victim by making recourse to another party’s act. For example, a victim would be abused, and then when making a fuss, the abuser, without apologizing or admitting their wrong, would then direct the attention to another friend of the victim who was slapped by a partner and didn’t make a fuss about it. The main intention here is to make the victim look like they are overreacting and also the abuser or manipulator would technically be validating their action. The principle of triangulation is to divert the victim’s attention by comparing an upsetting event of a third party to justify their current wrongdoing. 12. Boundary testing Boundary testing is when manipulators test their victims to see how far they can go in crossing the victim’s line before they trespass the victim’s personal boundary. They cross one line at a time until they get deeper into their victim’s head. This is a very common tactic among abusers. First, they would talk condescendingly to the victim, when they show “excessive understanding” the next time they would slap them and if the victim accommodates that as well, it won’t be very long after that when they would turn into a punching bag. The reason this tactic succeeds is the victim choosing to show empathy rather than stand up to themselves. Narcissists, the most chronic emotional manipulators thrive in this. Their main concern isn’t empathy but rather the consequences of their actions. Therefore, the more they succeed in decapitating their victim, and nothing happens, the more they move a notch higher.  13. Judging others This is one of those emotional manipulation tactics that is done openly; anyone else apart from the victim knows and sees it. The manipulator would deliberately pick on their victim, especially when they know that there is nothing the victim can do right away. The most egoistic and self- centered emotional manipulators are the ones who display this characteristic very often. They would keep bringing out their victim’s fault and brush aside their good efforts so that other people would view them negatively. Also, this tactic helps fuel the manipulators' ego because the more they judge the victim, the more they are portraying themselves as, the better one. The victim can save themselves from this tactic by severing ties with the manipulator and avoid showing considerations of any sort.  Chapter 4: Deal with Manipulators B y now there are many things which we are clear of in terms of a manipulator, their techniques, characteristics, also about covert manipulation and dark persuasion. All these things are practical and important to know especially when you deal with numerous kinds of people every day. All of us can be manipulative certain times, but what matters is the reason for manipulation is positive or negative. It becomes really crucial for you to know and understand who is trying to manipulate you and trying to convince you for doing something that you are not interested in. Manipulative people always facade your interest as theirs. Manipulators purpose is to shake your confidence to the extent that to make themselves strong they would do whatever the manipulator says. They use all the possible manners to attract you and be with you, they would do everything possible to take benefit from you. If not by the love they also use other tactics to get the work done such as by being pushy or threatening you. It is very substantial to understand these manipulative people before time or you should beware of the steps to take to handle them or how to maintain distance from them. There are also times when you get addicted to emotional manipulators and it becomes difficult for you to get rid of them. If a situation like this ever occurs, you should always ask yourself that do you remain frustrated, angry, dissatisfied or guilty because of that person or is there some other reason. If the answer is yes, you would still feel tough to stay away from that person, but you should face it and think that you can do it. These people are very magnetic and know how to keep you attracted towards themselves. Manipulators are very good at judging you, so they know when to joke with you and how much of it can you handle and when to stop, they have this miraculous sense in them which keeps you attached with them. This does not mean that they are thinking about you, it is just that they know when and how to take the advantage. When they achieve what they were looking for they forget your needs and just focus on their health and requirements. And the worst part about them is that if you do not meet their needs and demands, they might show up their real side of anger and aggression. Also, they make you so bound to themselves that you feel that you are so bound to them that you cannot do anything without their validation or approval, which is what their purpose is. The next thing that they take care of is that they know how much to give and take so that it does not come too much on them. So, first, let us understand and know about some practical tips to deal with manipulative people- 1) Find out if they are using forceful behavior- These people can get the work done by any means be it love, threat, indirect ways, by being forceful too. They might even threaten you that if you do not do what they want, then they would harm you in other ways so that they can gain control over you. They might do this to stop you doing certain things or do a certain task for them. Therefore, you should know how to say no to them as once to do something for them, they can always threaten you. The only way to keep them happy is by fulfilling what they want, so make sure that you say them a no if it is something that you do not wish to do. This is the most practical way of getting rid of them in the start only as once you entertain them, they would always trouble you with something or the other. 2) Do not compromise- Guilt is both powerful and useless emotion. It is powerful because it can lead you to change your mind and feel bad for something. It is useless when manipulators unnecessary blame you for something which is not your fault. Guilt is a tool which the manipulators use very much, they might use it to make you feel guilty for your past mistakes or failures or not making them happy or agreeing to what they say. Even when you feel good about yourself or confident, they would have a problem with that and might ask you to stop feeling overconfident about yourself. They would never motivate you for anything instead would try and generate doubt in you regarding your skills and abilities. The only solution for this is being confident and stop feeling guilty; it is your life and trust yourself and your abilities instead of thinking of others comments. Have self-belief and stop compromising on anything, trust yourself and move further. 3) See if they overdo things- You must have observed this in many people that they do something small for you and show that they have done something huge for you. They would expect you to return the favor and if you do not, they would start complaining. They can go to any extent to gain your attention. They might show you fake tears and say that they feel lonely or unloved. Do not let them fool you as they only know is to lower down your self-esteem. You should have your own self-respect and face them by clearing out your expectations and what you can give. This would make a clear understanding between both of you and they will also have a clear understanding that you cannot be insulted or humiliated by them. 4) Take new opportunities- People who do not want you to be successful would always want you to put your eggs in one basket only. Manipulators would always want that you stick around one opportunity all your life. They would always say that why are you being so greedy, just be content with what you have. But in contemporary times, this statement does not work. It is vital for you to grow and look for new opportunities. Manipulators are very insecure and jealous, so they would want you to stay at the same place where they feel you are secured. But you should listen to yourself and take your own decisions as they might call you selfish or too much arrogant and you might feel that you are being heartless by not listening to them. They would want you to be dependent on them and stay less successful than them. The only way to get out of all this is by achieving what you want, look for new jobs, start a business if you want and make new friends. This would make you more confident inside and also give you the courage to fight them. 5) They might use charm to impress- They might act very sweet and use their charm so that you could not say no to their request. This is the unique way to make you feel burdened so that it becomes difficult for you to reject their request. For example, they might ask you for a tea or coffee and then while talking they might ask for a favor, which they might be tough for you to straight away say no. Not even at the office even at times on a personal level, you face this. Such as by the husband might ask for his wife to go shopping when they want to go out with their friends. But the only practical way of getting rid of this kind of situations is by being assertive and saying no. It might be difficult for you at that time but it would make your life easy and sorted. 6) Ignorance- This is the key to stay happy and move on. When it comes to manipulators they are always meant to be ignored, as they deserve it. These people play dirty tricks with you by holding you accountable for things which you have not done, never taking accountability, do not act as they promise and try by all means to make you feel guilty. You might think that you can talk it out with them and solve it but it would be a waste of time. If you would try to correct them, they would instead entangle you in their conversation and you would again be in their trap. Their major tactic is that if you cannot convince, then confuse them, so they work on this principle and confuse you. So, the only thing you should do is ignore them completely. If you cannot ignore them fully as they are your boss or subordinates, then try to walk off where they are standing, do not respond much when they speak and find another way of getting your work done if possible. 7) Are they handling facts perfectly- They would try to mould the facts shown by you by saying that they know everything and try to change the numbers according to their requirements. This clearly means that they are trying to fool you and faking that they know the statistics but actually they are trying to act clever. They also try to keep some important information to them so that only they use it and you do not. They also try to play smart by telling you some useless information in such a manner that it is very productive and can be used wisely in the project. So, the solution to this is do not believe in whatever they say, double-check the information through your sources. Do not go according to their information if you have any doubt on their intent. 8) Stop taking permission- The major issue with people is that they think that it is mandatory to take permission for everything and they get used to it. We are habitual of taking permissions since our childhood days, such as asking our parents to go out with friends, asking the teacher if you can go out and play, as an employee you ask your boss for leave, etc. This makes you so much used to it that you forget making your own decisions and understand what is right and wrong for you. This habit makes your confidence low and you become afraid of talking in front of others and keeping your opinion. The best solution to this is by doing what you like and makes you feel good. Stop thinking about others and making them comfortable. Make your choice today and remove yourself from the trap of permission and live freely. This must have made very clear to you that how can you deal with manipulative people. Just remember that manipulators have absolutely no right to lead your life and cannot make you do what you do not want to do. You can make mistakes without any guilt and learn from them. Just cut people like these from your life and stay with like-minded people who make and keep you happy.  Chapter 5: Characteristics of Manipulative People O ne of the most important things to consider in this discussion is how manipulators select their victims. A victim, by definition, is the recipient of the manipulator’s actions. Therefore, the victim suffers negative consequences from the behavioral patterns exhibited by the manipulator. On the whole, victim selection is generally random. This means that manipulators will simply sniff around looking for someone they can take advantage of. When there is a greater amount of premeditation in the selection of a victim, then we might be dealing with a psychopath. As such, these individuals might make more careful study as to the type of person they seek to attack. Nevertheless, most manipulators will simply seek out those who are closest to them. This is why family tends to be the first target on a manipulator’s radar. Generally speaking, manipulators look for weak individuals whom they feel won’t be able to put up a fight. This means that for one reason or another, the victim is powerless to stop them. When you think of physical violence, this is one of the main criteria that goes into the selection of a victim. On a deeper, more emotional level, manipulators will seek out people who stand to lose quite a bit more than the manipulator. Think about that for a moment. Let’s go back to the example pertaining to the workers who must deal with a manipulative boss. In the end, the workers need the job far more than the boss does. If anything, the boss manipulates the employees more for personal pleasure than a logical business reason. Consequently, the workers are faced with a dilemma: they either put up with the manipulation or find another job. The ultimate objective of the manipulator is to subdue their victims to the point where they will offer resistance to the manipulator’s tactics. This means that the victim eventually becomes complicit in the manipulator’s behavior. Sure, there are instances where the victim is unable to extricate themselves from the abusive situation they are in. In such cases, the victim can only hope to endure the situation until a time comes when they are able to finally get out. Highly skilled manipulators will take the time to scout for potential victims. This occurs when a manipulator is able to identify the choice traits they are looking to find in their victims. As such, they will scout their surroundings and places they perceive will have the highest number of vulnerable individuals. That is why it’s always a good idea to be skeptical of someone you don’t really know in a place that you often go to. You never know who you might be dealing with. Signs of a Manipulative Partner One of the objectives on the mind of a manipulator might be to find a partner they can manipulate. This may occur either as a conscious behavior or an instinctive one. In the event of instinctive behavior, you can assume that the manipulator is not acting out of malice, but rather out of their own sheer desire. When you consider a conscious choice on the part of the manipulator, then you might actually be dealing with an evil individual who has a hidden agenda. So, it is important to recognize the warning signs before it’s too late. On the whole, manipulators can be easily spotted in romantic relationships by the subtle hints and lapses they show. For example, they appear to be sweet and attentive, but suddenly change and appear to be disconnected. You can tell this by seeing in the way they pay attention to your conversation. Also, they might be very polite and caring but suddenly react abruptly when something that they don’t like happens. These are very subtle signs that you are dealing with someone who might not be entirely forthcoming. But the red flags get worse when you’re dealing with someone who is jealous and possessive. This can begin with incessant text messages and calls. It’s a progressive matter; they start off by increasing the number of calls and texts until you find that they are controlling everything you do. Eventually, they expect a tally and report of all the things you do. In addition, a manipulative partner will strive to find out things which are negative, embarrassing or even traumatic about your past. Then, they will use that every time they can. For instance, a manipulator may use their partner’s weight as a means of shaming. They will use this to coax their partner to comply; after all, “no one will love you as much as I do.” These types of statements are a clear indication that there is a manipulation attempt. These red flags are important to keep in mind as they can quickly degenerate into an abusive relationship. Highly skilled manipulators will make the transition so subtle that the victim won’t even notice the relationship is degrading to that level. In the end, all the victim can feel is the effects of the abuse. How to Know You Are Being Targeted It can be hard to know if you are being targeted by a manipulator. Perhaps the easiest way to go about this is to confront the manipulator. If you happen to run into someone who is overly friendly, then this ought to be a red flag for you. Also, if you happen to be surrounded by people who only remember you every time they need something from you, then you know you’re definitely being targeted. Unless you know a person well, it’s always a good rule of thumb to keep an eye out on everyone. While this may seem like paranoid behavior, the fact of the matter is if you are able to be alert, the chances of being nabbed by manipulators are rather slim. Here are some practical tips: Be wary of overly friendly strangers Watch for offers and deals that are “too good to be true” Keep an eye out for sudden mood swings Watch out for contradicting behavior and words Pay attention to the moment in which people approach you Avoid responding to unsolicited advice These situations are all indicative of a manipulator trying to “test” you. If they find that you are responsive, then they may feel compelled to continue their advances until you give in to what they want. In the end, it’s usually best to just get away from these people. You may never have to openly engage them; all you may have to do is just move away from them. How to Deal with a Manipulator If you happen to find yourself dealing with a manipulator, here are three very important steps which you can take to help you better deal with this type of individual. 1. Try your best to get away from the situation. While there are circumstances in which getting away from a manipulator may be virtually impossible, it is the most recommended course of action to get away from them as far as possible. This will take away their opportunities to manipulate you. Moreover, if you can completely extricate yourself from a situation (such as finding a new job), then all the better. 2. Find out what they are using to manipulate you and then take it away from them. If you can identify what they are using against you, then you will be able to take that weapon away from them. In fact, you may even be able to use it against them. That will be a clear indicator to the manipulator that they can’t have their way with you any longer. 3. Know your rights. If you happen to be in an abusive relationship or situation, you have the right to seek help. This can be any form of help that may be available to you, but you must act on it. If you know you are being affected by a manipulative and even abusive person, but fail to say anything about it, you may never get the help you need. So, it’s important to speak up. 4. Avoid the blame game. Do not think for a second that this situation is your fault. Also, there is no need to blame the manipulator even though they are responsible for their actions. When you play the blame game, you are hurting yourself by making it seem that you are directly, or indirectly, responsible for what’s happened. So, even if you are the victim, it’s not your fault that this has happened to  you. By the same token, the manipulator is not at fault for being a manipulator. However, they are responsible for their actions. 5. Know when to quit. If you choose to confront the manipulator, you need to know when you may need to get away from them. There is only so much energy you can spend on a person like this. Oftentimes, dealing with a manipulator becomes a war of attrition. So, your determination to win that war may leave you more spent, both physically and emotionally, than what you stand to gain. Toxic Relationships It’s also important to keep an eye out for toxic relationships. Such relationships can be defined as those that hurt you in one manner or another. When you are in a toxic relationship, you don’t feel fulfilled. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You end up feeling hurt, fatigued and even confused about the nature of the relationship. Consider this situation: You are part of a social group in which your “friends” always pick you thereby making you the butt of all the jokes. This type of relationship does not fulfill your social needs. Rather, it makes you feel terrible about yourself. The same goes for family relationships. There are times when family dynamics are so toxic and dysfunctional that you don’t have any kind of semblance to what a normal family would be. All you have is a collection of patterns and behaviors that are designed to bring you down and even make you feel bad about yourself. When you recognize that you are in a toxic relationship, the only way around it is to get out. However, this can be really tough, for instance, when you are in a toxic marriage. Divorce is certainly an option but the cost of it may be very high. However, you need to assess if the price you are paying by staying in the relationship may be higher than the toll it would take on you to divorce. At the end of the day, you need to assess whether a relationship is worth keeping. Of course, it will never make sense for you to stay in a toxic relationship especially if it’s leaving you spent and fatigued. Relationships ought to bring out the best in all parties involved. So, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, it’s imperative to assess your priorities and determine if this relationship really is worth keeping.  Chapter 6: Understanding Dark Persuasion P ersuasion happens everywhere in day-to-day life. It can be seen in how we interact with others, leaning in to persuade people to keep talking while ignoring them in hopes that they will be persuaded to go away. We persuade others to help by asking them and pleading our case, or we persuade people to do something through suggesting it. What makes persuasion dark versus regular persuasion, and how does dark persuasion work? If you want to understand why dark persuasion is so manipulative, you must first understand what it entails, as well as how it differs from harmless persuasion. Defining Dark Persuasion At its simplest, persuasion is the act of coaxing or influencing someone into doing or believing something that they did not do or believe prior. Think of asking someone to do something that would never have occurred to them before. Perhaps you ask your partner to help you carry something because it is too heavy, and your partner has not yet offered help. If your partner then decides to carry something for you, you have successfully persuaded them. There is nothing inherently manipulative or wrong about doing this—you are simply asking for help and your partner obliges. Dark persuasion, then, adds a level of darkness. The propensity for darkness is the propensity to doing things for one’s own selfish interest with no regard of what it may or may not do to those around the manipulator. They do not care if people get hurt, betrayed, or upset. The only thing that matters to people who have a propensity for darkness or dark psychology is that one’s own wants and needs are met. Taking those two definitions, of darkness and of persuasion, you can then infer that dark persuasion is the art of influencing people to act in a way that is primarily or only beneficial to the manipulator with no regard for those being manipulated. Anything that the manipulator attempts to get from others is selfishly motivated. This selfishness, this darkness, is what makes dark persuasion so dangerous or harmful to others. Persuasion vs. Dark Persuasion If persuasion is acceptable, but dark persuasion is harmful, what is the real difference, you may ask. The difference lies in the intention. Persuasion, by and large, does not seek to inflict harm, and if anything, often seeks to better both the person doing the persuading and the person being persuaded. Oftentimes when trying to persuade someone, you are doing so because you believe it would be better, and this is from a good spot, seeking to benefit the other person as well. You are not trying to convince the other person to do something for your own benefit, and only your own benefit. Ultimately, the one-sided selfishness is what differentiates the two from each other. Persuasion is not necessary but can be, selfish, but dark persuasion always is. Dark persuasion is almost always one-sided, though the other person may believe there is some sort of benefit to him or her as well. In contrast, persuasion often seeks to balance benefits of all involved, attempting to spread as much good as possible. All parties involved in normal persuasion usually benefit in some way, shape, or form, but only the manipulator benefits in dark persuasion. Dark persuasion does not concern itself with morality, whereas persuasion does. The dark persuader does not care about right or wrong, but the persuader does. How Dark Persuasion Works Persuasion, and therefore dark persuasion, works through seven elements. These elements enable you to influence other people, no matter whether you seek to genuinely persuade someone with the best of intentions or you wish to darkly persuade someone into the behavior you know they would not necessarily care for. Understanding these seven elements is crucial to understanding exactly how to persuade others. Reciprocity Reciprocity is the idea that when someone helps or gives you something, you should return the favor. Even if it is as simple as someone smiling at you, you should smile back. No matter how big or small, the favor should be returned. This typically works in everyone’s favor when everyone reciprocates, because everyone sees benefits. If Alice asks Brenda for help moving furniture in exchange for homemade cookies and Brenda agrees to do so, the next time that Brenda needs help with something, Alice is going to be more likely to volunteer or agree to help. We inherently want to help others who help us; it is part of our wiring as a social species. However, this idea of reciprocity also applies in dark persuasion. If you seek to tap into dark persuasion, you are going to seek to create a sense of obligation in your target. You will do something for the other person with the intent of cashing in on the favor you feel you are owed. Many people are likely to give in to this notion, as well, and will oftentimes, even if begrudgingly, attempt to reciprocate. The idea with dark manipulation is to offer a small favor, typically something that does not take much of your time or energy, and then shortly after, request a favor in return. The shorter the time between you doing a favor and asking for a favor, the more likely it is that the answer will be yes, even with favors that are exponentially larger. For example, if you offer to cover your friend’s coffee, insisting it is no big deal when you know that he is struggling with money while you are out, you can turn around and ask your friend to help you by babysitting all evening while you go out on a date with your spouse. The reciprocity is not even between the two—all you did was buy a cheap coffee, but you are asking your friend to give up several hours in return. Say your date is set to last four hours, and you spent $3.50 on the coffee: This is essentially paying your friend the equivalent of $0.88/hour if you were to calculate out work for pay. This may sound like a fantastic price to pay for childcare for you, but your friend ends up caring for your children for well below minimum wage, and is honestly, probably at a loss after factoring in food that the children will inevitably ask for during a four-hour window. At this point, your friend, who is already struggling to make ends meet, actually lost some money in return for drinking a cheap mocha from a café. Consistency and Commitment Consistency is important within persuasion because of three key factors: It is valued, creates a schedule that can be used to manage all of one’s many responsibilities, and it can simplify situations that are otherwise difficult to juggle due to having a routine. This means that consistency, in effect, makes people’s daily tasks more streamlined. People are able to get through everything easier when they have a set routine that enables them to meet all of their responsibilities that has proven effective in the past. The consistency in routine allows for reliability as well. Someone who is consistent is typically also quite reliable because of his or her routine. Therefore, someone who is consistent becomes easy to persuade. One that person has agreed to do something for you, you can be certain they will follow through due to their own skills at self-motivating to remain consistent. In dark persuasion, you can take this to mean that once someone who is consistent has said they will do something, they will motivate themselves to do so, even if, halfway through, they realize that it is something that they have no desire to do, or is something that does not quite line up with their own belief systems. Going hand-in-hand with consistency comes commitment. Those who are consistent typically follow through with commitments no matter what. They self-motivate to get the job done due to their consistency. Those who have proven themselves consistent typically will continue to follow that pattern, believing remaining consistent and reliable is integral to which they are as a person. This self-motivation is, in essence, a form of self-persuasion. By simply getting a commitment, you may not even have to do the persuasion part; the other person will do the work for you. This means that once you bind this person to do something, it will almost absolutely happen. Commitments are valued and not taken lightly. Even if you do find that the other person is balking at the agreement and seeming as though he or she may back out of the arrangement, appealing to that commitment, reminding the other person that they had promised or otherwise committed him- or herself to completing the commitment is often enough to keep them in line. Within dark persuasion, then, by earning a commission, particularly from someone consistent, you are able to then ensure that you do not have to work hard to hold the other person accountable. Ultimately, those interested in dark persuasion and covert manipulation seek to get results with the least amount of effort, so by getting someone that you know is consistent and dedicated to meeting commitments, you are able to lessen your workload. You know that you are not likely to need to nag at the other person to follow through, which means you do not have to do as much follow up work. Social Proof Social proof is, in essence, herd mentality. It is the idea that people feel the constraints of social pressure demanding that they act in a certain way. It is the feeling of being obligated to do something simply because society dictates that is the way things are done, particularly in situations in which someone is unfamiliar. When unsure about the situation, people tend to follow the lead of those around them, feeling the pressure to conform. They assume that those around them, who seem to be moving around seamlessly, know what is supposed to be done, and therefore decide to mimic them in hopes of behaving appropriately. This phenomenon is even more pronounced when the individual who is unsure about the situation is able to closely relate to those who are acting, to whom the individual decides to conform. This can be seen in various experiments. In one such experiment, researchers joined a charity campaign that went door to door to get donations. When the list of donators had more names on it, the people being asked to donate were typically more likely to donate, particularly when the person being solicited recognized names on the donor list as being known neighbors, friends, or peers. This relates to persuasion because it involves what is seen as horizontal rather than vertical; at its core, this means that people are more likely to be influenced by their peers than their superiors. They are more likely to adopt the behaviors of people they identify with than those who have power. Within dark persuasion, then, this concept could be used to influence people to conform. If the predator were to fabricate a list of donators, for example, he would be able to better convince people to donate. Likewise, the predator could fabricate situations in which the target is alongside people who are acting the way the predator desires, allowing for the predator to influence the target’s actions without it ever becoming obvious. Likable Imagine that two people, one who you like, and the others who you do not, ask you to do the same thing. Who do you help, if anyone? The most likely answer is that you will help the person you like. People tend to agree to help people they like and are far more likely to say yes if they like the person attempting to persuade them. The question, then, is who do people like? How do people decide who the like and dislike? Ultimately, the answer involves three factors that determine how likable someone is to us: People with whom we can identify closely People who complement or flatter us People who are willing to cooperate in order to attain similar, mutual goals or outcomes Understanding what people like and naturally gravitate toward gives manipulators an idea of how to act in order to get inside a desired target’s inner circle. The manipulator learns that, in order to get a yes, he or she should aim to be relatable, compliment the target, and identify common goals, even if those common goals are falsified by the manipulator to create some sort of semblance of a connection. Once those three standards have been met, the dark persuader is far more likely to get desired results when asking someone to do something. The persuader has tapped into unconscious biases and tendencies in order to get desired results. Authority By and large, people defer to authority and are more likely to do whatever someone asks if they see clear signs of authority presented to them. For example, a person may listen to what a nurse has to say about care at home, but may not follow through. If that same person were told the same thing by a doctor whose lab coat declared them the head of the ER department, however, they would be far more likely to do as told. This is because the person unconsciously defers to higher authorities. In the person’s mind, the nurse may not be as worthy of being an authority as the doctor who is the head of the emergency room, even though the information provided is exactly the same. In terms of being able to persuade others, then, this implies that it is important to cue that the predator is an authority in some way. You can convince people to buy products if you have a business degree hanging on the wall, and you can sway someone by using your credentials with your name on nameplates, business cards, and other identifying items. Consider if someone talked to you about what you should do with your insurance on your car—would you be more inclined to listen to a random person in casual clothes, or someone wearing a shirt emblazoned with the logo of a popular, well-known insurance company? The answer is the one who has identified themselves as a representative of an insurance company. You would assume they are an authority on the product if their shirt marks them as someone involved with the insurance business. The dark persuaders, then, could take this a step further. Either through misrepresenting experience, or even lying about credentials, they are able to be seen as more reliable. They may discuss some reason they have more working knowledge over a situation, and because of that, they should be seen as a default authority on the matter. Scarcity People always want what they cannot have. Because oftentimes, people see the proverbial grass is greener on the other side, by imposing scarcity on a product, demand goes up. If an unpopular item is being removed from a menu, people will suddenly want it more, until it is gone, at which point, that item that never sold well in the first place is suddenly missed. Many restaurants follow similar structures, offering items for a limited time only, although realistically, they would be able to produce enough to meet demand if they chose to. Hype for the item is built through the exclusive nature of it—because it is limited, more people want to try it before they lose the opportunity forever. When it comes to persuading others, then, keeping scarcity in mind can be particularly useful. Not only should a predator make sure to tout benefits toward what people can gain by going along with the predator’s plan, but also what may be lost if the plan is not followed. Emphasizing the temporary nature of the deal, as well as what the loss of the deal will entail. People will be far more likely to go along with the plan if they feel like they stand to lose something if they do not do it.  Chapter 7: Dark Persuasion Methods W hen people attempt to give meaning to the concept of persuasion, their answers always come in different forms. While some may set their minds on the advertisements and commercials that are everywhere in modern society, urging one to patronize a certain product or service over another, others’ minds fall back to the politicians that try to change the minds of voters just to get one more vote at the polls. Both examples are correct as they are messages aimed at changing the perception of the subject. The point of diversion between normal persuasion and dark persuasion is that dark persuasion does not always have a moral justification. While a normal persuader may try to persuade someone for that person's own good, a dark persuader does so with motivations that aren't always good for the other person. They try to get a full grasp of understanding of the person they wish to persuade, and they take pains to do so because they know what the biggest motivation is. While persuasion always has moral implications, a dark persuader does not concern themselves with these implications. In fact, they are aware of them but choose to place their eyes on their objective(s) instead. Persuasion is a psychological phenomenon in the everyday life of a human being. It is either that you are the one trying to persuade someone else or you are being persuaded. What makes the difference between dark and normal is the motivation behind it. In mass media, politics, advertising and legal decisions, persuasion comes into play all the time. The outcome of practicing it in these fields is determined by ways of persuasion which will influence the subject of persuasion. There are some obvious and very crucial differences between persuasion and other types of mind control such as brainwashing and hypnosis. While these two require that the subject should be isolated in order to change their minds and identity, persuasion does not also require isolation. In order to get to the goal, manipulation is used on one person. Although persuasion can also be done on a single subject in order to get them to change their minds, there is also a possibility of using it on a large scale to change the minds of a whole group or even an entire society. For this reason, persuasion be a more effective mind control technique and perhaps more dangerous because it can change the minds of many people at the same time instead of the mind of just one person at a time. There are several people that make the mistake of thinking they have an immunity to the effects of persuasion because they are of the opinion that they will always be able to see every sales pitch that comes their way. They believe they will always be able to use logic to get a grasp of what is going on and then find a logical conclusion to it. Thanks to the fact that people are not always going to fall for everything they hear if they use logic, this may be true. It is also possible to avoid persuasion because the argument does not augur well with the person's beliefs no matter the strength of the argument. However, there are people who know how to use persuasive messages to encourage people to patronize the latest gadgets or products in the market. This act of persuasion is very subtle so the subject will not always identify it, so it is going to be quite hard for them to always be able to form an opinion about the information they are going to get. Every time persuasion is mentioned, it is very likely that one thinks of it in a bad light. This is because they tend to automatically think of a conman or salesman who is always trying to get them to change their perspective and who will eventually push them until this change is achieved. While dark persuasion is prominent in sales and conning practices, there are also ways that persuasion can be used for good, like in diplomatic relations between international bodies or in public service campaigns. The difference only lies in the way the process of persuasion is brought to play. Dark Persuasion Techniques When a person is willing to change the mind of their subject by persuading them to do something that is contrary to their initial state of mind, the persuader is going to have some well laid out techniques to help them achieve their goals. Each day that passes, the target is going to face different types of persuasion. For food makers, their goal will be to get their target to try out their new recipes or have them stick to the old ones, while studios will flash their latest blockbuster movies on the faces of their targets. Whatever the case may be or whatever product they are selling, their main aim is to make more sales and that is why they are trying to persuade you. They really couldn’t care less about how this will impact you and this is the reason why they must be very careful and skilled in the art of subtle persuasion to ensure that they do not tip you off or get you agitated. Since there are also many other brands trying to persuade you, they must find a unique way to impress their views on you. Due to the influence of persuasion on a wide range of people, the techniques used in it have been a subject of study for many years, dating back to ancient times. This is because influence is a very useful tool in the hands of a wide range of people. Starting from the early 20th century, the formal study of these techniques began to grow. Remember that the goal of trying to persuade people is to push a persuasive argument on an audience and have them convinced. They will then internalize this message and adopt it as their new attitude or even way of life. For this reason, there is a great need to discover the most successful persuasion techniques. Create a Need This is one of the most fruitful ways of getting a person to change their point of view or way of life. The person that is trying to persuade a target will either create a need or capitalize on a need that the subject already has. If this is done in a proper way, it has the potential of appealing a great deal to the target. What this means is that in order to be successful, the persuader must appeal to the needs that are of more importance to the target. This may be their need to fulfil their dreams or of boosting their self-esteem. It may also be their want for love, shelter or food. This method will always work out well because there is no way the subject is not going to need any of these things, or in need of anything at all for that matter. Since there is no way the target isn’t going to have dreams and aspirations, the persuader will only have to find ways to make the victim understand how they can easily help the victim achieve those dreams. The persuader may also tell their target that the target will realize their dreams if they make certain alterations to their beliefs or perspective. Doing this, according to the persuader, will give the target a higher chance of achieving success. For example, a young man that wants to get intimate with a lady may tell her that he will help her improve her grades and finally make her parents proud by getting an A, but only if she becomes friends with him. While this lady may think that she has finally found the redemption she needs, the truth is that the young man isn’t very interested in how well she performs in school, her academics are only a bait for getting access to sex. Appealing to Social Needs The other technique that the persuader can use is identifying the target's social needs. While this may not yield as many results and the target's primary needs will, it is still an important tool in the hands of the persuader. There are people who are naturally drawn to crowds and desire to be wanted. They always want to have certain items, not because they need them but because it comes with certain prestige that makes them feel as though they belong to a higher class. The notion of appealing to the target's social needs is what is obtainable through many TV commercials where viewers are encouraged to buy a product so that they will not be “left behind.” When they can identify and appeal to the social needs of the target, the result is they are able to reach a new area of the target's interest. Making Use of Loaded Words and Images When a person is trying to persuade someone else, they must be careful with their choice of words as words can make all the difference. While there are many ways to say a thing, one way of saying it may be more potent than the other. When it has to do with persuasion, one of the most important things is knowing how to say the right thing at the right time. Words are always the most important tools in communication and knowing the right call-to-action words. Dark persuasion is one of the most powerful concepts of dark psychology, but sadly it is always overlooked and underestimated. This may be because, unlike the other methods of mind control, persuasion leaves the target with a choice. In the other mind control methods, the target is forced into submission and sometimes this is done by putting them in isolation so that at the end, they do not have any say in the outcome of the process. When it comes to persuasion, the chips are laid bare (although with an ulterior motive in dark persuasion) so that the target is left to make the decision that they think will suit them best.  Chapter 8: What is NLP? N euro-Linguistic Programming has to do with the study of thoughts (neuro) and language (linguistic) in a systemic way and the scripts that run the life of an individual (programming). It deals with the understanding and the development of the mind and the entire understanding of the language of the mind in relation to the way it is designed to function and the ways in which it is molded by the personal experiences of an individual. It is simply a study of a person's subjective reality. A proper understanding of the language of the mind influences every aspect of a person’s life from his relationship with others to his communication skills with friends and clients to the general outcome of a person’s life. It is a holistic study that puts the spirit, body, past and present of an individual into consideration. As homo sapiens who are gifted with the ability to think, it is presumed that our most important function is the thought or the thinking function. NLP, however, brings one to the understanding of the fact that no thought process exists in a vacuum, as they are a product of a person's perspective. It has a presupposition of perception as reality and it holds that the things, we think are colored by the way we think. For different individuals there are different ways of thinking and interpreting reality. What NLP does is assist in the understanding of these various representational systems to help each person narrow down his own system. It helps in the understanding of the three different types of thinking patterns which are: Visual: deals with both pictures and visual metaphors. Auditory: sound (hearing). Kinesthetic: deals with the five senses, as well as gut feelings. In NLP, a person is thought to take absolute control of his mind and ultimately his life. Unlike what is obtainable in psychoanalysis, which places its focus on “why,” NLP presents a more practical approach with its focus on the “how.” How NLP Works If you are just coming across this topic for the first time, NLP may appear or seem like magic or hypnosis. When a person is undergoing therapy, this topic digs deep into the unconscious mind of the patient and filters through different layers of beliefs and the person's approach or perception of life to deduce the early childhood experiences that are responsible for a behavioral pattern. In NLP, it is believed that everyone has the resources that are needed for positive changes in their own lives. The technique adopted here is meant to help in facilitating these changes. Usually, when NLP is taught, it is done in a pyramidal structure. However, the most advanced techniques are left for those multi-thousand-dollar seminars. An attempt to explain this complicated subject is to state that the NLPer (as those who use NLP will often call themselves) is always paying keen attention to the person they are working on/with. Usually, there is a large majority of NLPers that are therapists and they are very likely to be well-meaning people. They achieve their aims by paying attention to those subtle cues like the movement of the eyes, flushing of the skin, dilation of the pupil and subtle nervous tics. It is easy for an NLP user to quickly determine the following: The side of the brain that the person uses predominantly. The sense (smell, sight, etc.) that is more dominant in a person’s brain. The way the person’s brain stores and makes use of information (the NLPer can deduce all this from the person’s eye movement). When they are telling a lie or concocting information. When the NLP user has successfully gathered all this information, they begin to mimic the client in a slow and subtle manner by not only taking on their body language, but also by imitating their speech and mannerisms, so that they begin to talk with the language patterns that are aimed at targeting the primary senses of the client. They will typically fake the social cues that will easily make someone let their guard down so that they become very open and suggestible. For example, when a person’s sense of sight is their most dominant sense, the NLPer will use a language that is very laden with visual metaphors to speak with them. They will say things like: “do you see what I am talking about?” or “why not look at it this way?” For a person that has a more dominant sense of hearing, he will be approached with an auditory language like: “listen to me” or “I can hear where you’re coming from.” To create a rapport, the NLPer mirrors the body language and the linguistic patterns of the other person. This rapport is a mental and physiological state which a human being gets into when they lose guard of their social senses. It is done when they begin to feel like the other person who they are conversing with is just like them. Once the NLPer have achieved this rapport, they will take charge of the interaction by leading it in a mild and subtle manner. Thanks to the fact that they have already mirrored the other person, they will now begin to make some subtle changes in order to gain a certain influence on the behavior of the person. This is also combined with some similar subtle language patterns which lead to questions and a whole phase of some other techniques. At this point, the NLPer will be able to tweak and twist the person to whichever direction they so desire. This only happens if the other person can’t deduce that there is something going on because they assume everything that is occurring is happening organically or that they have given consent to everything. What this means is that it is quite hard to make use of NLP to get other people to act out of character, but it can be used to get a person to give responses within their normal range of character. This may come in the form of getting them to donate to a charitable cause, or finally making the decision they had been putting off or getting them to go home with you for the night if they had considered it at some previous point. At this point, what the NLP user seeks to do may be to either elicit or anchor. When they are eliciting, they make use of both leading and language to get the person to an emotional state of say, sadness. Once they can elicit this state, they can then lead it on with a physical cue by touching the other person's shoulder for example. According to theory, whenever the NLP user touches the person's shoulder in the same manner, the same emotional state will resurface if they do it again. However, this is only made possible by the successful conditioning of the other person. When undergoing NLP therapy, it is very possible for the therapist to adopt a content-free approach, which means the therapist can work effectively without taking a critical look at the problem or without even knowing about the problem at all. This means that there is room for privacy for the client as the therapist does not really need to be told about whichever event took place or whatever issue happened in the past. Also, prior to the commencement of the therapy, there is an agreement which ensures that the therapist cannot disclose any information, hence the interaction between the therapist and the client remains confidential. In NLP, there is the belief in the need for the perfection of the nature of human creation, so every client is encouraged to recognize the sensitivity of the senses and make use of them in responding to specific problems. As a matter of fact, NLP also holds the belief that it is possible for the mind to find cures to diseases and sicknesses. The techniques employed by NLP have to do with a noninvasive, medicine- free therapy that enables the client to find out new ways of handling emotional issues such as low self-esteem, lack of confidence, anxiety and destructive relationship patterns. It is also a successful tool in effective bereavement counselling. With its roots in the field of behavioral science, which was developed by Skinner, Pavlov and Thorndike, NLP makes use of the combination physiology and the unconscious mind to bring about change in the thought process an