LGBTQ Transcript.docx

Tim qUESTION Sun, Jan 14, 2024 9:25PM • 51:35 SUMMARY KEYWORDS lgbtq, work, term, sage, affirming, people, business, folks, organization, lgbt, community, talk, engage, inclusion, identify, services, women, pride parades, place, person 00:14 Thank you so much Rhonda for that introduction, I'm really...

Tim qUESTION Sun, Jan 14, 2024 9:25PM • 51:35 SUMMARY KEYWORDS lgbtq, work, term, sage, affirming, people, business, folks, organization, lgbt, community, talk, engage, inclusion, identify, services, women, pride parades, place, person 00:14 Thank you so much Rhonda for that introduction, I'm really excited to be speaking with you today speaking with the members of this organization. And I love what you said about that we believe statement, because that really captures a lot of what we're all about at Sage and what I'm going to talk about today, which is creating businesses and interactions where people feel like they can be their whole selves, and feel welcome accessing your services. So let me go ahead and begin sharing my PowerPoint. And I will begin today's presentation. So today, I'm going to be talking about specifically aging and the LGBTQ plus community, and how to really raise the bar on customer service for when you're working with LGBTQ plus people who are a little bit older, older, the age of 55, older than the age of 65. That's what we'll be addressing today. So I am from an advocacy organization known as sage, we are the nation's oldest and largest organization working within the United States on LGBT aging. And I'll tell you a little bit more about what we do in just a couple of minutes. Their way of introduction, my name is Tim Johnston, I am the senior director of national projects. And I want to make sure that you have my email address T Johnston at Sage usa.org. Because sage is a resource both for folks within the United States but also internationally for everything that has to do with LGBT aging. And I want you all to know that I'm here for you for your follow up questions, and any additional information I can provide. By way of some additional context, I also want to let you know that I am the author of a book called welcoming LGBT residents, a practical guide for senior living staff. The audience for this book is folks who work in senior living broadly defined, but I think there's a lot in there that other folks would find useful as well, related to things like terminology, avoiding assumptions, organizational best practices, and how to have affirming conversations with LGBT folks who are accessing your services. So let me begin by talking a little bit more about our session goals for today. There are really three major things that I'm going to cover over this time that we have together. The first is that I'm going to take some time exploring the unique perspectives of LGBTQ plus older people. So what is it that makes these folks unique? What are their specific concerns? What are some challenges that they might be experiencing? And how do they approach services and businesses, we'll spend some time really digging into that information. I'll review a little bit of key research and information as it relates to members of this community. I will note that some of the research that I draw from is drawn out of the context of the United States. But I think that a lot of what we've discovered in researching folks living in the US is broadly applicable to other countries as well. So while there might be differences in the specific legal structures, or the historical experiences of LGBTQ plus living and other countries, I think that you will discover that a lot of the hesitancies a lot of the experiences of bias and discrimination, and how that impacts the way that people engage with businesses are very similar across different national contexts and different cultural contexts. But we'll spend a little bit of time digging into that. And finally, I'm going to talk about some best practices and suggestions. So I recognize that you all come from many different types of service providers, and service agencies, and businesses as well. So these will be very general suggestions that could apply to a bunch of different kinds of businesses. But I know that you'll find them useful as general suggestions for making sure that your business is really open to LGBTQ plus older people. So that's where we're headed today. I want to begin, though, by foregrounding, a concept that we use when building all of our training work, and that is the concept of intersectionality. So for those of you who are not familiar with this term, or maybe you've heard of it, but you're not quite sure what it means, when we talk about intersectionality we're talking about a way of approaching people that takes into account the fact that our unique personality and our unique experience is made up of a bunch of intersecting identities. So historically, this concept was coined in 1989 by a legal scholar named Kimberly Crenshaw Crenshaw was working on a case that was specifically about discrimination faced by African American women. So she was looking for a concept that would help to describe not only what it's like to live as an African American or black person in the United States, and to experience racism. And not only what it's like to live as a woman in the United States, and to experience sexism and misogyny, but rather what was unique about living at the intersection of those two identities. So she was the person that really coined this term, to help us understand that each person sits at these unique intersections of things like nationality, race, ethnicity, religion, ability, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression. And also HIV status is one that we've talked about quite a bit in our work at Sage. So the reason I'm bringing up this concept at the beginning of today's presentation, is to foreground the fact that I'll be talking about LGBTQ plus older adults. But we need to remember that each person is a unique individual, and their sexual orientation, gender identity and expression will only be one aspect of who they are. So providing that really customer centered business experience requires seeing people holistically, including whether or not they identify as LGBTQ plus. So by way of a little bit of additional information, as I mentioned before, Sage is the nation's oldest and largest organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBT older adults. And when I say the nation, I mean the United States, that's where we're founded. And that's where we do the majority of our work. We operate a number of innovative LGBTQ senior centers in the New York City area. So if you're wondering what an LGBTQ senior center looks like, what I can tell you is that we do have bingo every third Monday of the month, but it is run by a drag queen. So we have drag Van Gogh, rather than typical being go. Our senior centers are welcome to everybody. You don't have to be LGBTQ to come to the center. But there are places that are particularly known for being a farmer. In addition to that, we do advocacy work with the United States government with the federal government and state government, as well as education and outreach work. We are increasingly beginning to do a little bit of international work partnering with international LGBTQ rights organizations and advocates to do information sharing and education. That work is very much in its beginning stages. But I would welcome you to contact me if you'd like to learn more about how we're working with organizations located outside of the United States. In terms of the historical context for the founding of sage as an organization, many of you might be familiar with the Stonewall riots that were one of the kind of key moments in the LGBTQ rights movement. But what you might not know is that what we think of as pride parades, and when we celebrate Pride in the United States, and June, is meant to commemorate those Stonewall riots. So this was one of the first such commemoration parades, which at the time was called the Gay Liberation Day. This is a photograph taken in New York City. And it's important to remember that these Pride celebrations in the US context were originally protests. They were protests for civil rights. They were protests against police violence and brutality. And they were very much opportunities for members of the LGBTQ community to begin to find their political voice. And it was within that context that sage was founded. So as I noted before, we were founded in 1978, starting really, as a group of people who were getting older, and realizing that the services and businesses that were in place to work with older people, we're not going to be open to them, and we're not going to be welcoming to them. So they were creating a network of mutual aid. And it's really from that spirit of mutual aid that we've grown into the organization we are today. And here you can see a picture from the 50th anniversary of pride parades. This is obviously before the COVID-19 global pandemic. But we've got a big bus that we decorated in sage colors and had our constituents sit on so that they could comfortably move down the parade route. And it's always really exciting and really lovely to see. People who attend pride parades engaging with our constituents, many of whom were there at the Stonewall riots and who have been hugely impactful in the push within the US for the civil rights of LGBTQ People. 10:02 So as I noted before, a sage really emerged from a sense of mutual aid and solidarity. And that's what I want to think about when we begin discussing the unique perspectives of LGBTQ plus older people. And I want to begin by introducing you to a video that has some more information about sage. But it also brings the voices of LGBTQ plus elders directly into our conversation today. So we're gonna cut to the video in just a moment. I do want to note that in the course of this video, one of our constituents talks about somebody using a slur an anti gay word against him. And he doesn't say that word. So be prepared to hear some harsh language. And if you have maybe young folks in the room listening to this with you, you might want to skip ahead or put on your headphones for the next couple of minutes. So let's pause here and take a look at this video introducing sage and some of our constituents. 11:04 We must destroy the myths once and for all shatter them, we must continue to speak out. And most importantly, most importantly, every gay person must come out. 11:20 For every one of us who speaks out. There are those too afraid to show their faces. 11:29 I'm 55 years old and living with HIV. I never thought I will get this Oh, all of my friends have died. 11:39 My parents disowned me. When they found out I like girls, they died a few years ago. They never spoke to me again. I'm 61 years old, 11:48 where we live. Now. We still have to say that this system is very hard to say. But we have to do it to survive. 11:57 I'm 59 years old. And I went to the doctor recently. And he seemed a little bit nervous about treating a trans woman. I don't think I'm gonna go back there again. 12:10 I don't want you to fill my face. I'm 71 years old, and no one knows that I'm gay. 12:16 The last time I went to the VA, someone called me a faggot. I don't go anymore. 12:21 I'm 61 I have Parkinson's. And I just don't know who's gonna take care of me. 12:28 It shouldn't be this way. Sage and working in communities across the country to ensure that LGBT elders thrive. 12:42 I facilitate to transgender women's groups here at stage, I get to meet with the women I get the chance to bond and learn from one another how to navigate society as trans women. 12:54 I became an activist in my early 40s When they first came out. And over the years I've associated with sage, I realize and sage realizes that there can be nothing about us without us. 13:15 I love sage, because it's family in faith family for Pat and I over 30 years. They have saved us in so many ways. 13:31 I really enjoy coming to Sage. We are so fortunate to have this place where we can be ourselves with each other. 13:45 Eight years ago, I was told that I was pre diabetic to a seminar held by Sage, I've managed to remain pre diabetic. That is 13:53 Julian sage and speaking up for those elders who can't join us in conversations that create bonds across generations. Join us in new opportunities to learn and grow together. 14:07 I realized I needed the help that sage offered. When my husband passed away. I started acting classes. And that was extremely helpful for me because I don't think how I would have been able to pick up the pieces, let alone feel good about myself again. Sage helped me do that in a really, really big way. I think it's still helping me do that. 14:32 Join us learn home at sade usa.org. 14:45 I'm curious what your reactions are to that video. I've seen it many times and the thing that always stands out to me is the dual sense of the struggle and the hurt that many of you People have experienced the fact that we need to really take seriously the lived experience of our LGBTQ plus elders. And also the resilience, you see that when folks are able to be in a space where they can view themselves to be together, they thrive and they flourish. And those negative experiences sometimes turn into positive strengths. So I hope that really captures for you both why this is such an important topic, but also how by creating a more inclusive environment, in your organizations and in your businesses, you can create a place for LGBTQ older people to really thrive. So I want to begin by answering a question that I hear really frequently during this educational work, which is like why do I even need to know if one of our customers is LGBTQ? Plus? Why is this important information for me. And I'm going to address this by talking specifically about an environment that is like a senior living setting, because that's what I'm most familiar with. But then I want to extrapolate out to other businesses as well. So if we think about somebody who might be moving into a senior living environment, let's take a look at this hypothetical person. An older man, newly widowed in his 80s is considering moving out of his home and into a senior living setting. So this is his house at home, you can see that he has a picture of him and his partner at a pride parade celebrating their 54th anniversary, a rainbow colored pennant, which is a sign of LGBTQ inclusion. There are some books with titles like gay New York or gay literature classics like Giovanni's Room. And there's a picture from an issue of Time magazine called the transgender tipping point with a picture of Laverne Cox, a noted transgender activist and actress in the US. So now imagine if this person was moving into a new community, and moving into a place where he wasn't sure if you safe being out of the closet? What would he be able to bring with him? And what would he have to leave behind, he would definitely have to leave behind any pictures of his partner, because they would immediately out him as a gay man. So he would have to either hide or get rid of all of those treasured mementos, those treasured pictures, you'd have to get rid of any media that demonstrated an interest or connection to the LGBTQ plus community, including that picture of Laverne Cox on the cover of Time magazine, or those books. And then lastly, he'd have to get rid of these decorations that might be LGBT affirming, or communicate the fact that he's a part of the community. So what is he left with? Not a lot, a really impersonal looking room. So in the case of those of you working in organizations like senior living, you can clearly see why it's important that this person knows he can be out and knows he can be safe when accessing services. But for those of you who have different kinds of businesses, I would invite you to run through a similar thought experience with your own services. If you own a store, and I'm not sure I can be myself in that store, am I going to want to go in there am I going to go in with my partner am I going to want to visit a space where I don't feel welcome. Or if you work in an industry that requires a lot of person to person connection, if I'm not sure if my financial advisor, or my doctor, or my realtor, are going to be accepting of me as an LGBT person, it's going to be very difficult for me to bring my whole self to that engagement. And I'm going to have to hide aspects of who I am, my personal history, my support network, or my goals. More than anything, this just increases stress. And stress is not going to make someone want to engage with your business or your services, especially if they can go to someone else who does have a track record of working with the LGBTQ plus community. So again, this specific scene might not directly apply to the work that you do. But I would encourage you to think through all the other ways that people want to bring their whole selves when they're engaging with you and your team. So then, let's talk about some key terms and also a little bit of those statistics that I was referencing before. terminology is hugely important, both because we want you to feel comfortable with these words. And also because showing comfort, familiarity and fluidity with this terminology can really help to demonstrate that you are open and affirming to working with members of the LGBTQ plus community. So when we talk about the term LGBT, that is an acronym that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender The term lesbian describes a woman whose primary physical, romantic and emotional attractions are toward other women, that she's drawn to other women sexually, romantically. And in terms of who she wants to partner with. The term gay can describe a man who's attracted to other men, or it can be an umbrella term for same sex attraction. So a woman might describe herself as a lesbian, she might describe herself as gay, those two terms have the same meaning. The term bisexual describes someone who's attracted to both men and women, or somebody who has the capacity for attraction to people of multiple gender identities. Those first three terms have to do with what we call sexual orientation, or who it is that a person is drawn to romantically, physically and sexually. The last term here transgender has to do with gender identity, or how it is that a person understands themselves to be internally that felt sense of who they are as a person, whether they identify as a man, as a woman, gender non binary, or according to another gender identity. So the term transgender then describes people whose gender identity, that sense of who they are, is different than the sex they were assigned at birth. So for example, somebody who's assigned female at birth, but who is and identifies as a man might describe themselves as a transgender man. Likewise, somebody who's assigned male at birth, but who isn't identifies as a woman, she might describe herself as a transgender woman. Some additional terminology to make sure that you're familiar with are the words queer questioning and the plus. And this kind of rounds out our LGBTQ plus that we've been using today. So the term queer is an interesting one, the term queer historically, and I'm speaking, particularly to the US context, but I imagine it's the same for a lot of Anglophone countries. But historically, this term has had a very negative connotation. It's a term that was used in a derogatory manner as a slur against LGBT people. So to that end, for some folks, it's a word that carries a tremendous amount of negative stigma, and fear. For other people, this is a term that we call a reclaimed term. Meaning it's a term that people have taken so that it's no longer negative. And they use it in a positive way to describe their identity or to describe the community. So for those folks, this might be a very powerful affirming term. That tends to be truer for younger people, it's more likely in a context with people in their 40s 30s 20s teens, that queer will be a positive term. And it's more likely that for older folks, it will be a negative term. That's not true for everybody, everyone is unique in this regard. But I point that out to say that if you're working with older folks, using the word queer, might accidentally cause a negative reaction, even if you're using it in a way that's very positive and intended to be very affirming. So while I think it's okay to say LGBTQ, to have the queue on there, I would encourage you to tread lightly. And be careful about using the word queer in its entirety. Unless you know that it's a safe term for the person that you're addressing is one that you should definitely use with a little bit of caution. The term questioning then is meant to include people who are not sure if they're LGBT, they might be exploring their identity, experimenting with their identity, but we wanted to create a way for them to feel welcome within the community. And that's why some folks use the term of questioning. And then the plus can have two meanings. It can mean plus as in inclusive of other letters that you might see on there. So kind of like a.dot.or, an ellipses, or sometimes people think of it as being inclusive of people who are HIV positive. So including folks in the HIV positive community, within the broader LGBTQ plus umbrella. So that's my very quick primer on these terms. I'm going to touch on a couple other terms that you might have heard that I want to take the time to define for you. And the first of those is the term gender non binary. 24:39 So when we talk about the gender binary, you think about the term binary. The idea of the gender binary is that there are only two genders. There are only men, and there are only women, and that everybody has to fit into one of those two categories. That's what folks mean when they talk about the gender binary So you can imagine, in the way that I've portrayed that to you, there are a lot of folks who think this isn't true. There are not only two genders, that doesn't feel true to me as an individual. So those folks might choose to identify as gender non binary, meaning that they identify across or outside of the typical gender binary. Similarly, someone might describe themselves as gender non conforming, meaning that they identify as somebody who doesn't conform to or doesn't match the expectations that we have as societies around gender identity, and gender expression. So for both of these terms, they're going to have an individual and a unique meaning for each person. You know, what it might look like to identify as gender non binary or non conforming might mean that someone's gender expression is perhaps more fluid, or perhaps a little bit more androgynous than folks who identify as exclusively male or exclusively female. But the fact of the matter is, it's going to be unique to each individual person. So it's important to know these terms and to understand them. But also to realize that it doesn't necessarily mean that you can put someone into categories based on the terms that they're using. Another term that you might have heard of is that of asexual. So if someone identifies as asexual, it means that they do not have strong sexual feelings for other people, or that they do not identify as showing affection or romantic attraction to other people through sex and sexual acts, that there are other ways in which they show support, love, camaraderie and connection for the people they're closest to in their lives, and the people with whom they're engaged in romantic relationships. And I've put on here other letters as well, to really just highlight the fact that this is not an exhaustive list. There are many other letters that you'll see appended to or added on to this LGBTQ LGBTQ plus acronym. So I've only covered a couple today that I get questions about most frequently. But I would encourage you to reach out to me or other advocacy organizations to get a more comprehensive Glossary of these terms, so that you can learn more, and be more familiar with them. What I will recommend that you definitely do is take the time to do that research, and take the time to practice saying LGBT, LGBTQ plus. And the reason I suggest that it might sound a little bit silly. But there have been many times when I've spoken with someone who stumbles over the acronym, they say, oh, GL to QQBLT. And that's fine. I'm not trying to call anyone out or shame anybody. But what that reflects to me is that this person isn't super comfortable with the topic of LGBTQ inclusion, they might not think about it all that often, they could have the very best of intentions. But the ability to fluidly and comfortably say these things is a big positive communicator, that it's something you've thought about. And you've done the time to do a little bit of this kind of cultural competency work. So that's my kind of first suggestion for you and for your team, as it relates to working with members of the LGBTQ plus community. So I want to now talk a little bit about just a very, very light touch on facts and figures. And again, this is coming from research within the United States. But I would encourage you to reach out and examine comparable research within your own country. But one thing that I find is really striking is that in 2018, a nonprofit advocacy organization called AARP, which stands for the American Association of Retired Persons, surveyed members of their LGBT membership, their community, and found that 88% of respondents would be more comfortable accessing services that were being delivered by providers that are explicitly trained on LGBTQ inclusion. So 88% would prefer to engage with providers and engage with businesses that they know have done this kind of training. And what I want to draw attention to here is they didn't ask about diversity training, or inclusion training and kind of a broad spectrum way. They asked specifically about training related to working with LGBT customers. And that's really important, because speaking as an LGBT person myself, a lot of times if I hear general language about non discrimination or inclusion, I won't immediately assume that that includes me. I need to hear specifically that they're working with members of the LGBTQ plus community in order for me to think, okay, maybe this is going to be a safe place to go a safe place to be accessing services. I also want to note that 60% of folks expressed a fear of experiencing abuse and neglect in a long term care setting. More than half of these people surveyed, were afraid that if they had to move into a long term care home, that they would experience abuse or neglect. Now, that is a sobering statistic. And I really think that that fear extends beyond sectors like long term care. What this demonstrates to me is that certainly in the United States, and I think in a lot of places, LGBTQ plus older people, will approach providers with suspicion. And that's because they've lived through a history of abuse, neglect, and discrimination. So it makes sense that folks approach new people and providers with suspicion that they really need to be convinced that they're going to be treated well and treated safely. So this in terms of customer service is kind of what you're up against, there's a little bit of a trust deficit with a lot of LGBTQ people, and in particular, LGBTQ older people. So that's why you'll see when we move on to talking about suggestions, a lot of what we're going to talk about is things to do proactively to establish yourself as a safe business, so that you can approach customers with whatever you're selling them, and not have to worry about that trust deficit, there are ways to make up for that deficit, before they even walk through your door, or pick up the phone to call you. I also want to note that there are definitely generational differences within the LGBTQ plus community, and within folks who we consider older, LGBTQ plus people. And what I want to do specifically is talking about a group that we refer to as the baby boomers. So these are the folks born after World War Two, who are now really kind of the main drivers of Aging Services and services that are kind of pitched toward older populations. And in terms of the cultural norms of this generation, they can be identified by some shared characteristics. So that of experimentation, individuality and being kind of free spirited. You know, we can think of the 1960s political and countercultural revolutions very much informed the baby boomer experience, also a strong work ethic being very goal oriented. This is a group that's witnessed a lot of social struggles, speaking within the US context, but I think also speaking globally, in terms of decolonization, the push for racial rights and racial justice, and improvements in the treatment of LGBTQ people across the world. These are folks who might be less willing to go back into the closet. So this is a generation that might have been out from longer than a greater percentage of their life. Meaning that you know, before I talked about how people will kind of go into the closet until they know they can be safe or approach people with suspicion, the boomers really might be one of the first generations, it's not going to do that, they are going to be out from the get go. And to my last point, they are going to expect you to know how to treat them well. And to know how to treat LGBT people, LGBTQ plus people in an affirming manner. So as someone who's done this work for almost 10 years, I've noticed a shift just in that 10 years, where a lot of folks used to really hide their identity initially assume that they won't be treated in an LGBTQ affirming manner. So now I'm working with clients who assume they will be treated well. And that's how they walk into businesses and how they walk into expectations with professional providers. So I think that's really exciting. And I think it really underscores the need to make sure that you and the folks in your business have thought carefully about how to provide that LGBTQ plus affirming service. 34:09 There's also some research to suggest that not only in terms of comfort, but in terms of brand awareness and brand building, being known as LGBTQ plus affirming can be really powerful 60% of gay and lesbian, specifically consumers who were surveyed in the US. So they were much more likely to buy from a brand that they considered gay friendly, are LGBTQ affirming. And we'll talk a little bit more how to kind of align your brand, not only your brand, but your actions as a community partner, and in terms of corporate social responsibility with the LGBTQ rights movement. But I bring this up to say that it's a powerful way to differentiate not only your business, but also your services and your place within the marketplace. So with that I've talked about some of the unique perspectives of LGBTQ older people some of the unique fears that they might bring to an interaction with you or an interaction with your business. We've taken a look at some key terminology, which again, is essential to training your staff on how to work with members of the LGBTQ plus community, as well as some unique statistics about how this can be a market differentiator. So now let's talk specifically about best practices, what are the things that you and your team can do to really make a difference, and to really draw in those LGBTQ plus older customers. Because when we think about customer engagement, not just getting someone in the door, not just getting someone to send you an email, but really engaging them in a way where they feel seen and heard, we can focus on three more abstract goals. The first is really seeing the person for who they are, and always seeing them for who they are engaging the person holistically, making sure that they feel like they can bring their full selves to this interaction, and that they're being seen for who they are. And those two things helped to create a sense of connection. And that connection is going to be important, both in terms of accomplishing the goal of your business, because you need trust, and you need people to connect with your staff. But also making sure that people leave from an interaction with you feeling good, and leave feeling as though they had a positive experience when engaging with you and your team. So how do we do this? How do we see people for who they are? How do we engage them holistically to create that sense of connection? The first and most important thing I can suggest is that you train your team on LGBTQ cultural competency. So I run a program called SAGE care, we work primarily within the United States, but we are open to consulting and to other countries as well, that we focus on cultural competency training, giving teams the skills that they need to really be working in a safe manner. So if you're looking to bring some training to your organization, the first thing I recommend you do is to seek out trusted partners, you know, who are the organizations locally, or maybe at the state or provincial level, or the national level that are doing this work? And when I say trusted partners, you know, one place where I see businesses go wrong, is they think, Oh, isn't our accountant Joanne, isn't she a lesbian, maybe Joanne could do this training for our team. And you think, you know, Joanne is probably great. But she's also probably not an LGBT cultural competency trainer, it's a really unique skill set. And just because someone is a member of the LGBT community, doesn't mean that they can, should or would feel comfortable training their colleagues on this topic. So that's why I recommend that you really reach out to people who do this professionally, so that they can come in and give you the kind of information that your team needs. And I would suggest as well that you reach out to folks who are going to take an empowerment approach to this topic. You know, we don't want this to be a topic that makes people feel ashamed. We don't want people to worry about getting it wrong. This is about information sharing, and giving your team the information they need to create strong relationships with your customers. So it's about empowerment. And you really want to start from that strengths based perspective. The next thing you can do that's very important, is to avoid making assumptions about your customers. We make assumptions all day long every day. But what I want to sensitize you to is that there are assumptions we make about sexuality and gender, that unless you're really involved in the LGBTQ plus community, you might not catch yourself making these assumptions. So when we think about relationships, we tend to assume that when two people who are the same age walk into your building walk into your office, we often assume that there are a couple men and a woman walk in, you assume they're heterosexual couple, two men walk in, you might assume that there are a couple. But we can't reliably make that assumption. And as it relates to specifically working with members of the bisexual community, we might see someone walk in, in a different sex relationship or a same sex relationship. But that doesn't mean that they're necessarily straight or gay. One of those people might identify as bisexual. So again, we really can't make those assumptions. The other place where I see it happen really frequently is that folks are working with an older person who has grandkids and they just assume that because this person has grandkids, they're not LGBTQ plus, but a lot of LGBTQ plus people do have children and grandchildren. So you want to catch yourself before you make those assumptions about relationships. likewise about family structure. You know, when we think about families, quote unquote, or marketing to families, we think about a mother, a father and children, that kind of family structure that's based on biological kinship. What you need to know is that for a lot of LGBTQ plus people, family is a more broadly defined term. It's what we call chosen family. Because a lot of us don't have good relationships with our family of origin, we might have strained relationships with our biological family members because of our LGBTQ identities. So we create our own families, friends, community members, partners, former partners, and yes, members of our families of origin. But I want to point out to you that the term family means something unique for a lot of LGBTQ people. And a lot of times when we hear the word family, it's associated with family values, or conservative values, which are often at odds with the topic of LGBTQ plus affirmation and inclusion. So just be aware of the fact that if your business uses the language of family, that could be something that has an unintended negative connotation for an LGBTQ plus audience. So making it clear that your definition of family is really expansive, and really open ended, or being careful about that language, which will be really important. And then lastly, as it relates to assumptions, one thing that I'll point out is the importance of pronouns. So where it's like he, him, she, her, or some folks use the pronoun they to refer to themselves, it's called the singular they, it's really important that you always treat customers and everybody else with respect by using the pronouns that they use. So being attentive listening for the pronouns that people use, normalizing opportunities to share pronouns in places like your email signatures, or when you introduce yourself, those are all really important ways to show respect for everybody who's accessing your services. And if you don't know somebody's pronouns, just refer to them by their name. That's really as simple as that. 42:21 Another important aspect of this work is to make sure that you are connecting to your local LGBT community. The reason this is particularly important is that a lot of LGBTQ plus people, and in particular, LGBTQ plus older people get their recommendations through word of mouth. You know, what lawyer did you go to? Who's your dentist? Oh, I need a homecare agency. Have you worked with someone that you trust? Your everyone is more likely to trust a personal, excuse me, personal recommendation. But when someone's concerned about their own safety, if another person who's also LGBTQ says, oh, yeah, I worked with this office or this bank, and they were phenomenal. That is going to totally convinced me to go work with that bank as well, because I know that they've treated someone in my LGBTQ plus community with respect. So one way to start getting that word of mouth reputation is through engaging at the local level with members of the LGBTQ plus community. So is there a community center, or a nonprofit that you could reach out to and begin working with? One really powerful way you can do that is by making a financial contribution. There are often nonprofits that need support from the local community. And that's a way to really put your money where your mouth is, as it relates to LGBTQ affirmations. There could be a chamber of commerce, or another organization that's meant to amplify the work of LGBTQ plus owned businesses. So that could be a way to begin networking with business owners that are connected with the community, or a lot of larger organizations have what we call ERG s or employee resource groups for their LGBTQ plus employees. Those groups often engage in educational campaigns, volunteering, as it can be a really good way to get connected with key members of the LGBTQ community locally. So it really depends on what your business is which direction you want to go here. But I would encourage you to think, you know, geographically speaking within my city, town or area, where are the LGBTQ people? And how can our business begin to support those spaces and engage with members of that community? Marketing is also very important. We've talked a little bit about inclusive messaging and inclusive images. I talked about the word family and the specific connotations and that could have a minute ago. So you know, think about how your messaging can be very inclusive, explicitly saying, you know, We work with LGBTQ folks, we welcome engagement with the LGBTQ community, saying LGBTQ, somewhere on your website is going to have a big impact, as well as the images that you use to market your organization. If I go on your website, and I only see pictures of men and women holding hands, depending on what your business is, that's not going to send a very affirming image to me. But if I'm noticing that you have images, not only of LGBTQ plus people, but images of other diverse communities, that's going to send a message to me that you're more progressive, and that you really intentionally thought about your outreach campaigns. Another important thing to consider doing is having a business or corporate presence at your local Pride celebrations. So it could be having a float, it could be having a booth partnering, the organization that's putting pride on there. But getting members of your business out to pride parades, to Pride celebrations, to engage with people in the community, explain what you do, is a tremendously powerful way of literally showing up for the community. Literally being there with your time with your money with your energy, to show that you want to connect with LGBTQ plus people. And then lastly, think about rainbow imagery. The rainbow is one of the most commonly recognized symbols of LGBTQ plus inclusion. And I think it's something you can work into your advertising, your website, your brochures, your outreach materials. What I will say, though, is that I only want you to do this after you've trained your staff. So why am I saying that? If I run a business, and I haven't trained my staff on how to create a welcoming environment for LGBTQ people, but I put up a rainbow flag, that's false advertising, that is setting a trap for someone essentially, because visually, I look at that, and I think, Oh, great, this place is affirming. But it's the staff don't have the skills to back that up. I'm gonna have a negative experience as an LGBTQ plus customer. So these visual things are tremendously powerful in bringing in LGBTQ plus people. But as I said before, they've got to be the rainbow icing on the cake. And you have to have that strong policies in place, the outreach in place and the staff training in place to make sure that you can live up to the expectations that that public messaging will put out there into your community. So then, the last thing I want to talk about is really walking the walk. You know, we think about things like corporate ally ship or corporate social responsibility. But businesses are a big part of local communities. So what are the ways in which your business can come out in favor of LGBTQ inclusion? You know, is your city council thinking about a non discrimination ordinance? Are you supporting local pride groups? Are you supporting either financially or through volunteer hours? LGBTQ plus social service organizations? Are there ways in which your business can come out publicly to support the community? And if there are, are you willing to do it? Because LGBTQ plus consumers are really smart, they will know if what you're doing is just lip service, if it's just talk, and they'll be able to tell which organizations are just saying the right things, and which organizations are really doing the work of creating a better community, for LGBTQ plus people. So I think that's another way to build that substance in there, in terms of your public role. Also, internally, like what are your hiring practices? Do you have LGBTQ plus people on staff? Are they happy, they're going to be your best ambassadors within the LGBTQ plus community? You know, if it's known that you're a great place for LGBT people to work, that's going to translate to people's perceptions of your services as well. So how can you make sure that you're attracting and retaining really high quality talent, some of whom also identify as LGBTQ plus. And like I said, before thinking about engaging in community partnerships and being strategic there, you know, chances are if there is an LGBTQ organization in your area, they might really benefit from your services. So perhaps doing some donations or information sharing or cross volunteering could be a way to again, begin to forge those relationships that really live out your commitment to LGBTQ plus inclusion. So we've covered a lot today. I really have to associate your time. Again, I recognize that you're coming from a bunch of different kinds of businesses. But I hope that you've both come to appreciate why it is that LGBTQ plus older people might have additional feelings of distrust, stress, or worry when engaging with businesses, but also some really concrete steps that you can take as an organization to move past that trust deficit, and into the positive into creating really strong relationships with your customers that help continue to differentiate your services. And most importantly, get LGBTQ plus older people what they need, get them access to the services, supplies and resources that are going to help them flourish and your community. So again, my name is Tim Johnston, the senior director of national projects at Sage, my email addresses here on the screen again to Johnston at Sage usa.org. I really welcome your feedback. If you have additional questions, I'd be happy to answer those over email is the best way to reach me. And lastly, our organization sage. Again, I noted based in the United States, that's where we primarily operate. But we are looking to support people doing this work all over the country and all over the world. So please reach out to me if you think we can be of assistance. I want to again thank Rhonda and her team for this fabulous opportunity to meet with you today. And really, really appreciate your time and the work that you're doing.

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