Introduction to Counseling PDF

INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELING o Head nodding Introduction o Following the counselee's lead By Mitchell and Gibson: It is a goal-oriented relationship between a pro...

INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELING o Head nodding Introduction o Following the counselee's lead By Mitchell and Gibson: It is a goal-oriented relationship between a professionally trained, 2ND SKILL: The Open Question competent counselor and an individual seeking help for the purpose of - Open Questions are questions that encourage a person to talk bringing about a meaningful awareness and understanding of the self and without feeling defensive environment, improving planning and decision making and formulating - Closed questions are the kind asked by a census taker, a doctor, new ways of behaving, feeling and thinking for problem resolution and/or a lawyer, or a parent. development growth. OPEN QUESTIONS by Williamson: o Can't be answered by one or two words defines as a means of helping people to learn how to solve their own o Usually starts with "how's" and "what's" problems. o Digs deeper feelings and ideas by Patterson: CLOSED QUESTIONS is a helping relationship which includes: o Can be answered by "yes" or "no" or by one word 1. Someone seeking help (the client) o Starts with "is", "do", "have" etc. 2. Someone willing to give help (the therapist) o Discourages the person from talking and slows the flow of 3. Who is capable of or trained to give help conversation 4. in a setting which permits that help to be given and received. Example Internal Mode: How are you today? I'm feeling low, like everything's off. Not 4 Things to consider in Counseling Process very cheerful to be around Example External Mode: Client Counselor/Mentor How are you today? I'd be fine if not for the folks at home. They annoy me, driving me up the wall. Capability Environment USES OF OPEN QUESTIONS What Counseling Is not? BEGINNING A CONVERSATION Counseling Is not Lecturing - "What would you like to talk about?" Counseling Is not Giving of Advice - "What's going on with you?" Counseling Is not Just Teaching CLARIFYING & ELABORATING Counseling Does not resort to Compulsion - "How is this a problem for you? " Elements of Counseling - “What do you mean by ___?” - “What is it about this situation that bothers you?” TO BE HEARD - To be heard is to be understood. WORKING WITH FEELINGS TO HAVE A REALISTIC AND GOOD PERCEPTION - How do you feel about that? - To develop new insights that are realistic and available. - How do you feel right now? - What would you like to say to him? SCOPES OF COUNSELING Educational, Vocational, Social, Personal, Marital, Moral, Family, PROBLEM SOLVING Relational - What options do you have? - How do you feel about each other's options? GOALS IN COUNSELING - What's the best that could happen? Enhancing coping skills DO’S: Improving relationships Keep questions simple and clear Facilitating client potential Keep the questions in the here and now and with the person Facilitating behavior change DON’T: Promoting decision making Ask questions to satisfy your own curiosity Ask why? Commandments in Counseling Ask long complicated questions 1. Be non-judgmental Give advice in a question 2. Be Emphatic 3. Don’t give personal advice. 3RD SKILL: Paraphrasing 4. Don't ask questions that begins with "Why" - Paraphrase is a brief, tentative statement that reflects the essence 5. Don't take responsibility for other person's problem of what the person has just said. 6. Don't interpret 7. Stick with here and now Three Main Functions of Paraphrasing 8. Deal with the feelings - A paraphrase acts as a perception check, to verify that you understood what the other person has said Skills - A paraphrase may clarify what the counselee has said 1ST SKILL: Nonverbal and Minimal Attending Behavior - A good paraphrase can demonstrate that you have accurate - Nonverbal attending skills are the foundation on which all the empathy other skills are based. A GOOD PARAPHRASE: NONVERBAL ATTENDING - Verbal and non-verbal behaviors displayed by the listener that − Captures the essence of what the person said communicate that the listener is paying attention to and is − Coveys the same meaning, but usually uses different words interested in the speaker’s message. − Brief o Eye contact − Clear and concise o Body posture − Tentative o Facial expression  REFLECTING MEANS: - What’s the situation when you experience these feelings? - Showing the client that you have ‘heard’ not only what is being Examples of effective questions are: said, but also what feelings and emotions the client is experiencing when sharing their story with you. - How would you like to express these feelings? - What would you like to say to that person? But what if, The counselee has difficulty or is uncomfortable, questions REASON FOR USING PARAPHASE: such as these may help: - To check perceptions What’s the best (worst) thing that could happen? - To clarify what the person has said What would you like to see to happen? - To give accurate empathy How have you dealt with this before? DO'S: What could you do to feel better? Keep it brief and keep it tentative Use standard openings like: 5. SUMMARIZATION "Let me see if I've got it right..." A summary is a larger paraphrase. It tends to capture the essence of what "Sounds like..." the person said. "So, in other words..." A good summary has several functions: End by asking, IS THAT RIGHT? it acts as a perception check It directs the course of future interaction, decisions, and 4TH SKILL: Working With Feelings planning. 1. WAYS TO DISCOVER WHAT SOMEONE IS FEELING It clarifies the situation, reflects trends, points out conflicts and list priorities. A. Ask feelings questions A summary is also good to use at the end of the counseling session and Counselor: How do you feel about that? when shifting mode. Counselee: You might believe you should be angry with her, but what emotions are you really feeling? INTEGRATION OF SKILLS Counselee: I'm pissed-off at her and frustrated that I haven't told her Integration is putting all your skills together and using each when B. Paraphrase spoken feelings appropriate. Counselee: I got angry when my sister comes to visit for the holiday and all she does is complain. Counselor: So, you're feeling angry, is that right? C. Reflection of feelings Counselor: You seem to be angry... Counselor: You seem very tense... 2. DEFINING AND CLARIFYING THE FEELINGS Good questions for defining and clarifying feelings are: What does being mad mean to you? What is being nervous like for you? How does that feel physically? What other ways would you use to describe what you’ve feeling? Counselee: I feel depressed Counselor: How do you experience that depression? Counselee: It’s like a numbness, a not wanting to do anything. Yes, I feel like there are all these feelings inside me and yet I can’t really feel them. Counselor: (Stays silent) Counselee: You know, it just feels so numb. Counselor: Could you describe the numbness? Counselee: It feels like there’s a void within me. It’s empty, yes, it’s not...it’s full of feelings... but they are danger. They need to be kept under control. Counselor: What are those dangerous feelings? 3. ACKNOWLEDGING THE FEELINGS Compare these statements: “You made me angry when you slept with Jayden.” Vs. “I felt angry when you slept with Jayden.” Counselee: You know, when you’re working at a job you don’t just can’t find any energy for other things. You bummed out and you feel disgusted, you know? Counselor: So, you feel bummed out and disgusted, is that right? Counselee: Yeah, you just can’t seem to break out of it, you know. Counselor: When you say, “You can’t just seem to break out of it,” you mean “I can’t seem to break out of it?” Counselee: Yes, I just can’t get rid of these feelings. Counselor: What makes you want to get rid of those feelings? 4. DEALING WITH THE FEELINGS Good questions like: - What brings up this feeling of excitement with you?