interpersonal social ethics (1).docx

Interpersonal Social Ethics Professor Kathy Wilkins [email protected] Ethical framework for interpersonal communication -Attitudes and moral tone for organizational conversations -Dialogue and communication behaviors -Mindfulness and openness to different points of view -HURIER model to listene...

Interpersonal Social Ethics Professor Kathy Wilkins [email protected] Ethical framework for interpersonal communication -Attitudes and moral tone for organizational conversations -Dialogue and communication behaviors -Mindfulness and openness to different points of view -HURIER model to listener focused communication -Confirmation and acknowledging values of others -Emotional intelligence and building interpersonal relations -Organizational trust building -Giving and receiving feedback Our attitudes set the moral tone for organizational conversations. Treat others as unique human beings (I-Thou) rather than as objects (I-It). The outcome of any conversation is largely dependent on the attitude we bring to the encounter. Consider how you respond to a request from a coworker you respect as compared to one you distrust, for instance. You’re likely to be more friendly and helpful to the former than to the latter. Primary human attitudes of relationships The 20th-century German philosopher Martin Buber argued that our attitudes also set the moral tone for our conversations. He identified two primary human attitudes of relationships: I-It and I-Thou.1 Communicators in I-It relationships treat others as objects. Centered on their own needs, they are not really interested in the ideas of their conversational partners. Participants in I-Thou (I-You) relationships, in contrast, treat others as unique human beings. They are genuinely committed to understanding the perspectives of their fellow communicators. Buber identifies three types of communication that reflect varying degrees of interest in the self or the other. Monologue is self-centered, I-It communication. At its worst, monologue is characterized by deception, exploitation, coercion, and manipulation. Technical dialogue reflects a more neutral stance toward self and other. In this type of interaction, the focus is on gathering and processing information. Dialogue is the product of an I-Thou relationship. Dialogue occurs between equal partners who focus on understanding rather than on being understood. Together they create meaning. Monologue, Technical Dialogue, Dialogue All three forms of communication have their place in the organization. There are times when we legitimately engage in monologue to meet our needs, such as when we desire emotional support. Technical dialogue enables us to get our work done, and we spend the vast majority of our time sending and receiving information-centered messages. However, dialogue has the most potential to build productive relationships and organizational communities. Entering into I-Thou relationships heightens self-esteem by reaffirming the worth of both parties, strengthens interpersonal bonds, and promotes understanding and learning. Yet, before we can pursue dialogue, we need to clear up some common misconceptions about this form of communication, clarify its unique characteristics, and identify the ethical demands it makes of us. Buber’s view on Dialogue Dialogue is not limited to friendly interactions between friends or intimates. Instead, dialogue is most powerful when acquaintances profoundly disagree but remain in an I-Thou relationship. Buber urged discussants to walk “a narrow ridge” between extreme positions, avoiding the temptation to take up residence in one opposing camp or another. They should stand by their convictions while remaining open to the positions of others. Buber had this type of relationship with Mahatma Gandhi. The two disagreed about whether violence should be used against the Third Reich in World War II. Gandhi urged nonviolent tactics, while Buber (who suffered persecution as a Jew) was convinced that such strategies would not sway the Nazis. Finally, it should be noted that dialogue does not assume that all people are good. Buber recognized that every person has a dual nature that consists of good and evil. Engaging in dialogue is one way to nurture the positive dimension of persons. Characteristics of interpersonal dialogue Communication experts Kenneth Cissna and Robert Anderson outline the following as characteristics of interpersonal dialogue Presence. Partners in dialogue are less interested in a specific outcome than in working with others to come up with a solution. Their interactions are unscripted and unrehearsed. Emergent unanticipated consequences. Dialogue produces unpredictable results that are not controlled by any one party. Recognition of “strange otherness.” If dialogue is to flourish, discussants must refuse to believe that they already understand the thoughts, feelings, or intentions of others, even people they know well. Instead, they are tentative, continually testing their understanding of the perspectives of other group members and revising their conclusions when needed. Collaborative orientation. Dialogue demands a dual focus on self and others. Participants concentrate not on winning or losing but on coming up with a shared, joint solution that preserves the relationship. Characteristics of interpersonal dialogue Vulnerability. Dialogue is risky because discussants open their thoughts to others and may be influenced by the encounter. They must be willing to change their minds and to be changed as persons. Mutual implication. Speakers engaged in dialogue always keep listeners in mind when speaking. In so doing, they may discover more about themselves as well. Temporal flow. Dialogue unfolds over time—drawing from the past, filling the present, and leading to the future. It is a process that can’t be cut into segments and analyzed. Genuineness and authenticity. Participants in dialogue give each other the benefit of the doubt, assuming that the other person is being honest and sharing from personal experience. While speakers don’t share all their thoughts, they don’t deliberately hide ideas and feelings that are relevant to the topic and to the relationship. Interpersonal dialogue To engage in dialogue, you will need to commit yourself to: seeking the good of others, valuing relationships and the common good, being open to influence, allowing others to hold differing opinions, practicing honesty, and being willing to invest time and energy in the process. While dialogue can’t be forced, it is much more likely to take place when we have the necessary competencies. Immediacy behaviors Words and actions that communicate physical or psychological closeness, called immediacy behaviors, invite participants to enter into dialogue. Such behaviors generate positive emotions and liking, making communicators appear more approachable. Verbal immediacy is using language that shows openness and friendship—for instance, using “we” and “us” instead of “you” or “you and I”; encouraging the other person to speak; talking about items both parties have in common. Engaging in verbal and nonverbal immediacy behaviors invites participation in dialogue by reducing the psychological and physical distance between you and the other party Immediacy behaviors According to communication experts Virginia Richmond and James McCroskey, nonverbal immediacy behaviors include the following: Appearance: appear neat and clean; dress casually (when allowed) but not sloppy Gesture and body movements: lean toward the other person; use an open body position; nod Face and eye: maintain eye contact; show pleasure through facial expressions; smile frequently Voice: short pauses and few silences; positive vocal inflections and vocal variety; sound confident Space: move and sit closer to the other person; orient the body directly to the other party Touch: friendly handshake; light touch on hand or forearm Immediacy behaviors Environment: warm, secure, pleasant; soft colors; moveable chairs; soft to moderate lighting Time: promptness; spending more time with one another at a time convenient to the other person Scent: pleasant, familiar, inoffensive scents; scents of one’s own culture Richmond and McCroskey are quick to point out that immediacy can have its drawbacks. Knowing these dangers can help us use immediacy cues appropriately. Immediacy can be overdone, as in the case of the overly friendly salesperson. Be aware that some people mistake immediacy for intimacy and want to escalate a relationship too quickly. Be less immediate with those who are communication avoidant. Nevertheless, the researchers conclude that the advantages of immediacy outweigh the risks because nonimmediate people are perceived as less friendly, cold, aloof, and, at times, hostile. Learn to be mindful; give your full attention to an encounter in order to make greater distinctions, to welcome novel information, and to be open to new points of view. Mindfulness Dialogue demands our complete attention. Not only is it unscripted, unrehearsed, and unpredictable, but this type of interaction also requires that we simultaneously focus on our own thoughts as well as on the positions of our conversational partners. Western psychologists and clinicians use the term mindfulness to describe the process of devoting full attention to the task at hand, to being fully present in the moment. Being mindful means paying close attention to novel information while, at the same time, withholding judgment. Mindfulness takes the form of a trait and a state. Some individuals are naturally more mindful—that is, exhibit more of this trait—than other people. However, mindfulness can vary depending on the situation (state), such as when an ordinary drive to work turns dangerous due to a major pileup on the freeway. In this case, we instantly shift from a mindless state, where our attention is divided between the road and thoughts of the day’s activities and music streamed from our phones, to a mindful one, where our focus is on the threat and our response. Understand communication as listening centered, not speaking centered. Keep in mind that listening is a multistage process made up of hearing, understanding, remembering, interpreting, evaluating, and responding (HURIER). Master listening skills and avoid listening errors by understanding the weaknesses of your listening profile. Skillful listening and technical dialogue Listening is key to coming to mutual understanding through dialogue. We can’t come up with a joint, shared solution or speak to the needs of the other party unless we comprehend the other party’s perspective. Skillful listening is also essential to processing the informational messages that make up technical dialogue. According to Judi Brownell of Cornell University, communication is best understood as listening centered, not speaking centered. She offers the multistage HURIER model to describe her listener-focused approach to communication. HURIER model The HURIER model consists of the following six components: Component 1: Hearing. The environment is filled with all kinds of stimuli. Listening begins when we focus on one or more of these elements—music, a podcast, the voice of a friend, a supervisor’s phone call. What we choose to hear is dependent on our perceptual filters, which are made up of our cultural background, beliefs and values, past experiences, interests, family history, and other factors. Consider how you and a friend respond to the same stimuli, for example. If you are an avid snowboarder, you’ll listen carefully to the morning radio report on mountain snow conditions. Your conversational partner (who is not interested in heading for the slopes) may change stations when this segment comes on. HURIER model Component 2: Understanding. Once the message is received, it must be processed. Like reading comprehension, listening comprehension is based on the literal meanings of the words and signals received. Shared language and vocabulary greatly increase the likelihood of understanding. Component 3: Remembering. Memory allows an individual to retrieve information in order to come up with an appropriate response. Memory, like hearing, is especially influenced by our perceptual filters. Information we’re interested in is retained; other messages are quickly forgotten. Component 4: Interpreting. During this stage, meaning is assigned to the message based on words and nonverbal cues like context (location, previous events, participants), vocal qualities, and body language HURIER model Component 5: Evaluating. At this stage, the receiver makes a judgment about the accuracy and truthfulness of the message by evaluating evidence and reasoning, source credibility, the situation, emotional appeals, and other factors. Component 6: Responding. We can respond appropriately only if we’ve successfully completed the first five steps of the model. Since listening is continuous, we must also adjust our messages even as we’re speaking. If coworkers give us a puzzled look while we’re explaining a new technical process, for instance, we need to pause to ask if they understand our directions. Listening can fail at any stage of the HURIER model. We might tune out important messages or fail to comprehend their meanings, forget essential data, come up with an inaccurate interpretation, misjudge the message, or formulate the wrong response. Confirmation is the process of recognizing and acknowledging the presence and value of others. You can affirm others by recognizing the other person, by acknowledging your relationship with that individual, by signaling your awareness of the other’s significance, and by accepting the other person’s experience and perspective. Confirmation Confirmation occurs when we value ourselves more after interacting with another person; disconfirmation takes place if we value ourselves less. Confirming behaviors express recognition of the other person’s existence, acknowledge a relationship or affiliation, express awareness of the significance or value of the other, and accept or “endorse” the other person’s experience or way of seeing the world. Confirming responses Confirming Responses include: Recognition: Responding to the presence of the other person; treating the other person with respect Acknowledgment: Providing a direct, relevant response to the message of the other person; asking questions, disagreeing, paraphrasing Endorsement: Accepting the feelings of the other party as legitimate; letting the other person “be” without trying to analyze, blame, or change the other person Disconfirming behaviors Ethical communicators try to avoid the disconfirming behaviors of remarks and engage in the confirming behaviors. Disconfirming Responses include: Impervious: Failing to acknowledge the messages of the other person; ignoring; shunning Interrupting: Cutting the other speaker short; beginning before the other speaker is finished Irrelevant: Responding in a way that seems unrelated to what the other person has just said Tangential: Acknowledging the previous message but immediately taking the conversation in a new direction Impersonal: Conducting a monologue, speaking in an overly intellectual or impersonal way Ambiguous: Responding with messages containing multiple or unclear meanings Incongruous: Engaging in nonverbal behavior that is inconsistent with the verbal content of the message, as when speakers deny being angry even as their voice rises and their face turns red. Master the four skill sets of emotional intelligence in order to get along better with others, to become a more effective manager, and to make wiser choices. These skills include accurately identifying emotions, using emotions to enhance reasoning, understanding the causes and progressions of emotions to predict events, and managing emotions to generate productive outcomes. Emotional intelligence – (1) Identifying emotions Identifying emotions. Emotions provide important data about what’s happening to us, to others, and in the environment. Effective communication depends on accurately reading these signals and on accurately conveying how we feel. Unfortunately, research suggests that when it comes to interpreting emotional expressions, we are not as skilled as we think. Most people can pick out intense emotional expressions but are less adept at identifying slight or partial displays of the same feelings. Accurate decoding is further complicated by the fact that facial displays of emotion during conversation last only a short time (generally from half a second to two and a half seconds). Emotional intelligence Skillful communicators have mastered these challenges and can recognize their internal emotional states; talk about their feelings; communicate internal emotional states so that their feelings are understood as intended; accurately read people even when people try to disguise or repress their emotions; pick up on the emotional meaning of messages sent through body language, vocal cues, and facial expressions. Emotional intelligence- (2) Using emotions Using emotions. Emotions play an important role in reasoning and can enhance our thinking. Positive moods promote new ideas and risk taking; negative moods focus attention on details and possible errors. Our chances of coming up with a good solution are greatest when we employ both modes of reasoning. For that reason, we might put ourselves in a positive frame of mind for a brainstorming session but wait until the next day to evaluate our ideas when we are not so optimistic and can do a better job of catching potential problems. Emotional intelligence Those with high EI can demonstrate creative thinking and imagination; inspire and motivate others; closely monitor events that generate strong emotions; and match their emotions to the task and select tasks based on their mood. Emotional intelligence- (3) Understanding emotions Understanding emotions. Emotions aren’t chaotic but have underlying causes and follow progressions. Annoyance leads to anger and then to rage, for example, but not the other way around. If we understand these patterns, we can better forecast how others will respond to events and plan accordingly. Emotionally sensitive individuals can make correct assumptions about how others will behave; have an extensive emotional vocabulary that enables them to accurately communicate what they are experiencing; appreciate emotional complexity—the fact that communicators can experience contradictory emotions at the same time; and accurately predict how others will respond and choose the right message. Managing emotions. Emotions (even the unwelcome ones) need to be Emotional intelligence- (4) Managing emotions Managing emotions. Emotions (even the unwelcome ones) need to be factored into reasoning, evaluation, and behavior. However, we need to manage our feelings instead of being controlled by them. Emotions can generate more productive outcomes if they are integrated into our thinking. Emotionally intelligent people can: resist unhealthy impulses; know when to follow their feelings and when to set them aside temporarily; be open to their own feelings and the emotions of those around them; let emotions activate productive behavior, like fighting against injustice when angry and avoiding risks when afraid; regulate their moods to achieve their goals—for example, getting “pumped up” before a class presentation or consciously shifting attention from a source of irritation to preparing for an upcoming meeting; establish genuine interpersonal connections; and manage the feelings of coworkers in appropriate ways (cheer them up, calm them down). Trust means putting ourselves in a vulnerable position, expecting that the other party will carry through on promises and commitments. We have a moral obligation to protect others who are relying on us, and we can build our trustworthiness by demonstrating moral virtues and competence. If you violate trust, you will need to accept responsibility for what has occurred and engage in trust repair with the other party. Trust Building Interpersonal trust is often the “glue” that binds organizational members together. Those in trusting relationships feel a greater sense of interdependence, help one another, and are more willing to learn and to take risks, including the risk of engaging in dialogue. A group whose members trust each other makes higher-quality decisions, is more productive, and operates more efficiently. Trust is defined as “a psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behavior of another.” A cluster of attitudes and behaviors defines trusting relationships. Trust Building First, trust involves optimistic expectations. Trusting individuals believe that the other party will carry through on promises and commitments. Second, those who trust put themselves in a vulnerable position. They depend on the behavior of others and have much to lose if these individuals break their commitments. Third, trust is willingly offered. Participants entering into trust relationships hope to increase cooperation and generate benefits, not only for themselves, but also for the group as a whole. All organizational stakeholders gain from such partnerships. Fourth, trust is hard to enforce. Organizations try to ensure cooperation through contracts, legal requirements, and other means. However, formal enforcement mechanisms don’t have much impact on informal relationships between group members and can’t, by themselves, create a trusting climate. Fifth, trust imposes an obligation or duty to protect the rights and interests of others. The target of trust is expected (1) not to harm the other party and (2) to act in a way that benefits both individuals. Trust Building Interpersonal trust, because it involves obligation or duty, has a moral dimension. More than just a strategy for ensuring cooperation and better results, trust also imposes ethical demands. We have a moral responsibility to protect and promote the interests of those who rely on us (put themselves in a vulnerable position). Breaking trust can be considered unethical because interpersonal trust serves the greater organizational good. Trust Building Building Blocks of Organizational Trust- 3 components Dialogue of Openness and Sharing Be honest with yourself and others (share humanness). Don’t harbor hidden agendas. Let others know that what they say will not be used against them. Make people feel valued for their contributions. Make people feel safe in expressing honest opinions. Don’t withhold information for power. Hold a basic belief that all people have good potential. Be willing to listen. Be willing to be vulnerable. Trust Building Consistency in Behavior Say it and do it. Do the right thing. Be consistent in how decisions are made. Keep promises and commitments. Everyone Committed to the Mission Know where the organization is headed. Make sure people know and believe in organizational goals. Encourage teamwork. Encourage dialogue to establish shared values. View feedback as a collaborative process where both senders and receivers have a moral responsibility to ensure success. As a sender, offer specific criticism while communicating that the recipient is valued. Let the recipient be heard. Agree on mutual goals. As a receiver, control your defensive reactions and speak up when you disagree or don’t understand. Find areas of common understanding and agreement. Giving and receiving feedback Giving voice is critical because recipients know more about themselves and the task and are more likely to reach goals they set for themselves. Two-way communication encourages mutual understanding of problems, solutions, and objectives while conveying dignity and respect. Feedback is only one part of your relationship with the receiver and is influenced by the organization’s culture. Those who feel unfairly treated by you or the organization are less likely to seek and act on constructive feedback. Try to reduce inequalities in status and power; create trusting cultures. Receiving feedback Be aware (and control) your defensive reactions. Take the perspective of your sender. The person may be nervous about your response, be overworked and stressed, and so forth. Don’t overreact to mistakes or insensitive statements. When you disagree or don’t understand feedback, speak up. State your opinion and ask for clarification. Find areas of common understanding and agreement. Agree to work on those behaviors. If you continue to disagree with a criticism, take steps to prove the critic wrong (which can lead to improvement in your performance). Productive communication and ethical decisions making Productive communication behaviors that foster I-Thou relationships include immediacy behaviors, mindfulness, effective listening, appropriate self-disclosure, confirmation, emotional intelligence, trust building, and giving and receiving feedback. When used in conjunction with the principles and practices of sound moral reasoning, they further increase our likelihood of coming up with a well-reasoned ethical conclusion. REFERENCES Johnson, Craig E. (2020) Organizational Ethics: A Practical Approach, 5th Edition. SAGE Publications, Inc., Chap. 4. Bruhn, J.G. (2001). Trust and the health of organizations. New York: Kluwer Plenum, p. 82 Sutton, R.M., Hornsey, M.J. & Douglas, K.M. (2012). Feedback: The communication of praise, criticism, and advice. Peter Lang. Chap. 22. 42