The Love Inside the Christian Family PDF

CHRISTIAN LIVING 12: MARRIAGE AND FAMILY HANDOUT NO. 4 The Love Inside the Christian Family OVERVIEW Introduction I. Christian View of the Family A. The Christian Family as a...

CHRISTIAN LIVING 12: MARRIAGE AND FAMILY HANDOUT NO. 4 The Love Inside the Christian Family OVERVIEW Introduction I. Christian View of the Family A. The Christian Family as a Covenant Relationship B. The Christian Family as a Domestic Church C. The Christian Family as the First and Vital Cell of Society II. Scriptural Basis: “Honor your father and mother” A. Our Duty to care for the elderly in our society. B. Our Duty to love our brothers and sisters. C. Duties of parents D. Duties of the Christian family to society III. Conclusion: Growing in love as a family INTRODUCTION: WHAT IS A FAMILY? In his “Letter to Families”, St. Pope John Paul II emphasizes that “the family is the center and the heart of the civilization of love.” His statement affirms the truth that the family is the foundation of a just and loving world. Because of this truth, every family is called to teach its members to be of loving service to one another. Without our families, the most important thing that we must learn is what it means to truly love God and others. Some of us may not be taken too keen to talk about our personal experiences with our families because they reveal a lot about who we are – how we raised, what our habits and attitudes are, and what are families truly value. Today more than ever, amidst the many forces that threaten the family as an institution, we need to discover the nature and role of our families in moral living. I. CHRISTIAN VIEW OF THE FAMILY As Christ’s disciples, we need to understand and share with others the Good News about the human family more deeply. For the family to become what it is, we need to reflect on the nature of the human family guided by the sources of our Christian faith. According to the Church’s teaching, the Christian family can be described in three ways: as a covenant relationship, as a domestic church, and as the first and vital cell of society (cf. CFC 1012-1020). A. THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY AS A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP The first description considers the basic nature of family relationships and the model or a pattern for living this out. By calling the family a covenant relationship, we understand that the very essence of a family that should hold them together is love, not financial status, achievement, looks, intelligence, productivity, or anything else. As Christians, we understand that the love we are called to share within 1 our families is patterned after God’s own love for us, a love that is self-sacrificing, life-giving, and others centered. We have learned that every human person is called to love and be loved, because God, who made us in His image, is Himself love (1 John 4:8). The love we share within our families and the love our parents have for one another are images of God’s own love. Through our parents’ and siblings’ genuine concern for us, we become our best selves. This commitment to the family leads us to a personal appreciation to God, who is both caring and faithful. It is in and through God’s covenantal love that our families can truly become an intimate community of life and love. The covenantal love within a family begins with the love and fidelity that the mother and father pledged to share with one another in marriage. This “forever” kind of love professed and celebrated by parents in the Sacrament of Matrimony is founded on the covenant God made with His people. Recall how God took the initiative to share His unconditional and everlasting love with all persons by: establishing a covenant with Abraham and his descendants and promising him fruitfulness and prosperity (Genesis 15); renewing the covenant with Moses and the Israelites by giving them the Ten Commandments (Exodus 24); and sending us His Son, Jesus Christ, in whom He established His new and everlasting covenant. B. THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY AS A DOMESTIC CHURCH The second description of the Christian family, domestic church, is an ancient expression that tells us that parents “by word and example are the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children” (Lumen Gentium 11). As the ecclesia domestica or “Church in the home,” every Christian family is called to be the foundation of the whole Church, strengthened by Christ’s teaching and example. Like the Church, every Christian family should reflect the life of God, who is Himself a loving communion of three divine persons. As such, the Christian family is marked by the Father’s creativity, the Son’s self- sacrificing love, and the Holy Spirit’s empowering grace. Just as the Church nurtures our life of faith by her teaching, worship, and service, so should the Christian family, a child’s “first school of discipleship,” nourish the spiritual lives of its members. Parents are thus called to introduce their children to the basic truths, prayers, and good acts that they need to understand and live out as followers of Jesus. It is also within our families that we are called to exercise and develop the Christian virtues of charity, mutual forgiveness, obedience, prayer, and thanksgiving (cf CFC 1014). By guiding us in the Christian faith, serving us selflessly, and living as true communities of love, our families become a sacrament of Christ and a living example of the very life and mission of the entire Christian community. C. THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY AS THE FIRST AND VITAL CELL OF SOCIETY The family is the most basic community upon which society builds itself. This means that the family is the necessary unit through which citizens are born and grow in number. But more precisely, a family is the vital cell of society because it is where persons are nurtured and trained to become good and productive members of society. When we have mutual concern, respect for rules and authority, and harmony in our family, we make an important contribution to our community. Through the formation and education we receive in our families, we become aware of our social responsibilities, become more sensitive and compassionate to those who are suffering and grow more committed to serve others generously and selflessly. 2 II. SCRIPTURAL BASIS: “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.” The fourth commandment links the first three commandments about love of God to the other six commandments about love of neighbor. The unique place of the fourth commandment in the whole Decalogue implies two things: first, we express our love for God first and foremost through our loving concern for our parents, through whom God has shown His life-giving love for us; and second, we begin our love of neighbor – seen in the way we value life, chastity, truth, and justice – in the way we relate to the members of our own family. Loving our parents is ultimately a religious act of faith. Respecting and obeying our parents go beyond social customs or the need to reciprocate the life and concern that they have given us. While the love we have for our parents may spring from a sense of utang na loob, in faith we believe that by honoring our parents, we share in God’s love for them. St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians reminds us that the fourth commandment is the first commandment that bears a promise (cf. Ephesians 6:2-3). In its original formulation, the fourth commandment reads: “Honor your father and your mother, that you may have long life in the land which the Lord, your God, is giving you” (cf. Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16). God’s promise of a long life reveals to us the direct link of this commandment to the fulfillment of God’s covenant. By commanding the Israelites to care for their parents, God protected and upheld the value of family, as well as the true freedom of His people. The fourth commandment was especially significant to the Jews because the prosperity and wealth of the ancient Egyptian society was bought at the price of oppression and violations of human dignity. Through the fourth commandment, God reminds us that true prosperity or “a long life” is the fruit only of a genuine respect and love for our parents. It is through the fourth commandment that we affirm the inseparability of our love for God and our love for the members of our family – our parents, our older relatives, and our brothers and sisters. A. OUR DUTY TO CARE FOR THE ELDERLY IN SOCIETY The original meaning of the fourth commandment refers to the duty of children to take care of their aging parents. The commandment was very important to God’s people because in their sojourn through the desert to the land flowing with milk and honey, it became very tempting to leave behind those who were old, infirm, or unproductive – those who were slowing down. But because the prosperity that God promised His people was radically different from their experience in Egypt, their freedom had to be founded on love and respect for human dignity regardless of competence, health, age, or productivity. In the same way, the elderly members of our family and society today deserve to be treated with the dignity proper to any human person. They should not be seen as a burden or hindrance to social progress. B. OUR DUTY TO LOVE OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS Our duty to give proper respect, care, and attention to our parents and to the elderly in our family includes loving our brothers and sisters. This is because the love we show in our everyday experiences with our siblings affirms the genuineness of our love for our parents. When Jesus Christ taught us to call God our Father, Jesus revealed Himself as our True Brother who has kept the fourth commandment in its fullest meaning by loving us as His brothers and sisters. Moreover, He commands us to love one another so that we may truly live as children of the Father: “As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love” (John 15:9-10). 3  C. DUTIES OF THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY TO SOCIETY For most Filipinos, love begins at home. It is in our families that we first experience and share God’s love. However, our being persons-for-others should not end in the home. Christ calls all Christian families to be a Church in the home, opening themselves up, reaching out to other families, and generously sharing with others the many gifts they have received from God. Founded on a covenant and married love that reflects Christ’s own love for His Church, every Christian family is called to be the “salt of the earth” and a “light to the world,” to be living witnesses of Christ and the Church to everyone. As such, the Christian family and all its members must participate in the life of the community and in the development of our country. The Christian family shares in the mission of the Church to proclaim to all persons the unchanging, universal, and redeeming values of God’s Kingdom. In this sharing, the Christian family fulfills its mission as the vital cell of society. Because a single family cannot carry out the task of building a truly human and Christian community, all Christian families need to cooperate with one another in working for justice and be in solidarity with others especially the poor. III. CONCLUSION: GROWING IN LOVE AS A FAMILY For many of us, our concern is how to grow in love as a family. Here are some simple ways of expressing our love for our parents and siblings: A. LEARN TO LISTEN. One simple thing we can do in our families is to sincerely listen to one another’s stories, problems, hurts, and dreams. By genuinely listening to our parents and siblings, we will be able to better understand their needs, concerns, ideas, and feelings. Then we can praise them when they are successful, comfort them when they are down, or give them guidance when they have problems. Fostering open and honest communication within our family demands that we make time to sit down, talk, and share our experiences with one another. B. DO THINGS TOGETHER. One way of expressing our love for our family is by joining family excursions and other activities. In many families, praying together remains a fruitful way of expressing both love of family and love of God. Family prayers do not have to take so much time. Aside from celebrating Mass every Sunday, we may also do the following: pray before meals; say the evening rosary together; offer prayers for people celebrating birthdays; and celebrate simple prayers to mark the liturgical seasons. C. LEARN TO SAY “SORRY” AND “I FORGIVE YOU.” One often-neglected way of communicating love within our family is saying “Sorry” when we have hurt someone and “I forgive you” when someone apologizes to us. The loving example of Christ, who forgave sinners and even His enemies, reminds us that loving forgiveness is an essential part of family life. True forgiveness and openness to correction are possible when we have a Christian sense of right and wrong, genuine humility, and the motivation to act in truth instead of self-centered pride. D. LEARN TO SAY “I LOVE YOU.” It may seem insignificant to some, but hearing those three words really matters. There is perhaps no clearer way of communicating love to our parents and siblings than saying “I love you.” E. SERVE THE POOR AS A FAMILY. Some families have grown closer through their effort to serve the poor in their own way. Through joining feeding efforts, medical missions, or relief operations, parents and children fulfill their responsibility not just to their family but to society as well. 4 CONCLUSION The threats and challenges to the integrity of the family in our modern society are truly overwhelming. However, as a family we should not forget our call to become evangelizers and to share in the mission of Christ in bringing his love to the world. These pressures may be tremendous but be reminded that our world needs strong families to overcome these threats. We need holy and loving families to protect the beauty and truth of the family in God’s plan. The way to protect our families is summed up in Ephesians 6:11-12: “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” If we stay close to God and lean on Him for protection and guidance, our families will stay intact—and flourish. Thus, always nourish our families with prayers and the grace of sacraments. Sources: Aguirre, Rodel M. et.al. We Celebrate God’s Love: Foundations of Catholic Morality. (2003). Quezon City, Manila: Vibal Publishing House, Inc. Acts and Decrees of the Second Plenary Council of the Philippines (1994). CBCP Amoris Laetitia Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of the Holy Father Francis on Love in the Family (2016) Pasay City: Paulines Publishing House Catechism of the Catholic Church. (1994). Makati, Manila: Ave Maria Press. Catechism for Filipino Catholics. (1997). Makati, Manila: CBCP Miranda, Noel et.al. Called to Follow Christ in True Freedom (2012).Quezon City, Manila: Sibs Publishing House https://youaremom.com/children/family-disintegration-children/ https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35994408 https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2022-04/pope-francis-rediscover-the-value-of-family-life.html 5