Do the Hard Things First Master Self-Control PDF

 What readers are saying about Do the Hard Things First "The author delves into how behaviour matters and provides strategies and process to take these head on to minimize or eliminate the distractions that cause delays and procrastination. From how you...

 What readers are saying about Do the Hard Things First "The author delves into how behaviour matters and provides strategies and process to take these head on to minimize or eliminate the distractions that cause delays and procrastination. From how you live your daily life to how successful you are in your chosen career, Scott Allan has included methodologies to help guide the reader down the right path." — Bill Miller, bestselling author of Rookie CEO “This book serves as a compilation and guide-book for anyone because each of us needs to read and take heed of the valuable and down-to-earth content succinctly presented in real-life examples. Procrastination is a very strong choice pulling persons to the side and away from more-difficult decisions-to- action. Bridge-building between present wants-and-needs and future wants- and-needs requires an understanding of creating a balance in plans for life and making key decisions.” — Ralph Koerber, bestselling author of Road to Journey’s End “Do you think you're lazy and that's why you get nothing done? Quote – “Your mind isn't lazy, it just needs to be disciplined with a new set of behaviour.” I love this about the author. Every book he gets down more to the nitty gritty which helps us understand how we operate and stops procrastination. He teases out for us how to work our way towards success. Every page is filled with gems." — DTHTF Reader “Even if you don't feel you have an issue with procrastination, you should read this book. Don't stop with reading it. Don't expect results without action! Apply the provided strategies as you are reading the book, don’t wait until you complete the entire book.” — NealWC, DTHTF Reader "This is a helpful book for anyone who struggles with procrastination. The section of the book on the cost of self-sabotage was really convicting and instructive to me. I now have positive strategies to help set myself up well instead of shooting myself in the foot. I understand now that critical task avoidance is a pattern of repetition that must be broken. — DTHTF Reader "I always think when I get this, or do that I'll be finished and then I'll be "happy". Truth is: it never ends. I leaned early on if I wanted my kids to do something, they didn't get the reward until what they needed to do was done. (or it didn't get done.) This is so true for all of us. Great ideas in this book about "Why" we act this way, and how to stop." — DTHTF Reader "The "Hard Things" mentioned in the book are actually related to self- transformation and putting an individual's life on a new path - for a more joyful, fulfilling, and prosperous living. It will force the reader to think critically about what is really important and how time should be spent in the remaining days on earth. The book provides great guidance on how to translate the reflection into action." — Ken L, DTHTF Reader “As a chronic procrastinator, I sought practical help in this book and was not disappointed. I received an advanced copy of the book but I went ahead and bought a copy because I know I will be reading it multiple times as I gradually master each of the steps. I am immediately going to begin working on closing my open loops and interrupting my impulse snaps. If you struggle with procrastination, I highly recommend you read this book and do the Implementation Tasks.” — Mary Dunn, DTHTF Reader “An inspiring book about how to overcome the biggest hurdle of doing anything that seems hard. Includes useful steps to follow in order to move all your hard things over, to the other side of your list, where you have the completed items. It’s useful in helping yourself, as well as others.” — Gabriela Dura, DTHTF Reader “I have been an avid fan of Scott’s books for a long time now and this book is a good reminder of why that is. Scott shares a lot of strategies here, which I find useful and are extremely easy to implement. Like his other books I somehow feel he understands my psych and the mind games that I play that prevent me from dealing with obstacles that are in my way to achieving my goals. His description of the invented excuses I use to avoid moving forward really hit home. He draws on his own experiences and of the people he has coached – that is the point – I feel like he is in my corner as my own personal coach. Thanks Scott! The biggest message I gleaned from reading this treasure is that all the negative self-talk is based on fear. When dealing with these demons, if you are aware of that fact and try employing some of Scott’s strategies you will be able to move forward even if at first you only take small steps pushing the fear and anxiety aside.”— Frank William Angus, DTHTF Reader Do the Easy Hard Things First.  More Inspiring Titles From Scott Allan Empower Your Thoughts: Control Worry and Anxiety, Develop a Positive Mental Attitude, and Master Your Mindset Empower Your Fear: Leverage Your Fears To Rise Above Mediocrity and Turn Self-Doubt Into a Confident Plan of Action Empower Your Success: Success Strategies to Maximize Performance, Take Positive Action, and Engage Your Enthusiasm for Living a Great Life Rejection Reset: A Strategic Step-By-Step Program for Restoring Self- Confidence, Reshaping an Inferior Mindset, and Thriving In a Shame- Free Lifestyle Rejection Free: How To Choose Yourself First and Take Charge of Your Life By Confidently Asking For What You Want Rejection Free for Life: 2-1 Bundle (Rejection Reset and Rejection Free) Relaunch Your Life: Break the Cycle of Self-Defeat, Destroy Negative Emotions, and Reclaim Your Personal Power Drive Your Destiny: Create a Vision for Your Life, Build Better Habits for Wealth and Health, and Unlock Your Inner Greatness The Discipline of Masters: Destroy Big Obstacles, Master Your Time, Capture Creative Ideas and Become the Leader You Were Born to Be Undefeated: Persevere in the Face of Adversity, Master the Art of Never Giving Up, and Always Beat the Odds Stacked Against You  Do the Hard Things First. How to Win Over Procrastination and Master the Habit of Doing Difficult Work Scott Allan http://scottallaninternational.com/ Copyright © 2021 by Scott Allan Publishing all rights reserved. Do the Hard Things First: How to Win Overcome Procrastination and Master the Habit of Doing Difficult Work All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. The views expressed in this publication are those of the author alone and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions, as well as his or her own interpretation of the material found within this publication. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the reader and consumer. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on behalf of the consumer or reader of this material. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional. ISBN eBook: 978-1-989599-82-2 ISBN Paperback: 978-1-989599-83-9 ISBN Hardcover: 978-1-989599-91-4  Bonus: Free Gift As a way of saying thanks for your purchase, I’m offering a free digital product that’s exclusive to my readers. The Fearless Confidence Action Guide: 17 Action Plans for Overcoming Fear and Increasing Confidence To learn more, go to the link below and gain access right now: https://scottallanauthor.com/fearless-confidence-action-guide/ https://scottallanauthor.com/fearless-confidence-action-guide/  CONTENTS Introduction: Why We Do Hard Things Last What You’ll Learn in Doing the Hard Things First Part I: Breaking Fear, Minimizing Excuses, and the Science of Delaying Gratification Coping Mechanisms and Procrastination The Cost of Self-Sabotage Fear #1: The Fear of Commitment Fear #2: Fear of the Unknown Fear #3: The Fear of Discomfort. Fear #4: The Fear of Decision-Making Fear #5: The Fear of Criticism or Negative Feedback Taking Control of Your Procrastinating Mind Ten Reasons We Delay Doing the Work Part II: Practical Steps for Doing the Hard Things First Step 1: Take Total Ownership for Behavior Change Step 2: Make Your List of Things-to-get-done… Step 3: Decide You’re Doing It... Now. Step 4: Write It Down. Five Times. Step 5: Time Block Five Minutes to Start Doing It Step 6: Tell Someone (You’re Doing It) Step 7: Put it On Your Calendar Step 8: Visualize Doing the Hard Thing First Step 9: Close Your Open Loops Step 10: Prioritize Your Daily #1 Item Step 11: Train Your Brain to Interrupt Sudden “Impulse Snaps” Step 12: Automate Repetitive Tasks Step 13: Delegate Tasks You Don’t want to Do (or Can’t do) Step 14: Identify Your Constraints (Bottlenecks) Step 15: Begin with One Small Action Step 16: Adopt the Law of 80/20 Step 17: Schedule a One-Hour Weekly Review Session Step 18: Control Your Distractions (and Manage Shiny Object Syndrome) Step 19: Create Future Commitment Devices Step 20: Program Your Environment with Motivational Visual Triggers Step 21: Reward Your Best Work Step 22: Employ the Premack Principle (and Temptation Bundling) Part III: Breaking Negative Behavior Breaking Your Negative Conditioning Breaking Anxiety and Overwhelm Breaking Your Limiting Self-Talk Part IV: Do Hard Things Everyday Do Hard Things for Your Health Do Hard Things Around Your Home Do the Hard Things Around Your Workspace Do the Hard Things in Your Personal Relationships Do Hard Things for Your Finances Final Thoughts on Doing the Hard Things First About Scott Allan Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy. — Denis Waitley  Introduction: Why We Do Hard Things Last “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work. — Stephen King Are you living in chaos because you constantly put off critical tasks until the last minute? Do you feel disorganized both at home and at work? Do you experience feelings of guilt, anxiety, frustration, and a degree of hopelessness with all your incomplete projects? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you could be trapped in the storm of chronic procrastination. This condition has created a space of chaos in your mind, your life, and your work. As a procrastinator, your systems and level of organization appear unmanageable on many levels. No matter how many times you’ve promised to “do that thing you keep forgetting to do,” it just gets shoveled aside for work that is less meaningful, easier, or more fun. If you suffer from habitual procrastination, everywhere you turn you’ll be surrounded by clutter in your room, closets, and office area. You know that you should do something about it, but when you try to move forward, you are consumed with overwhelm. This habit of avoiding hard tasks has become so natural to you that you feel trapped in its vices. Like an addict that struggles to break free of addiction, you struggle to do what matters most first. If a task has to be completed but it isn’t enjoyable, you make excuses to explain why you can’t do it: “I’m too busy right now” or “Someone else will do it if I don’t.” As a result, your tasks and projects labeled as “later” wind up on the top shelf of your “never” to do list. Every time you are reminded of the things you still have to do, yet another orchestrated distraction pulls you away from the task. This cycles into a strong habit of postponing difficult work. As with most rituals, practicing procrastination consistently over the years has made is a concrete habit in your life. You want to say NO, but struggle to resist the temptation to become distracted. You’re quickly pulled into another direction without your realizing it’s happening again. As with any habit in life, it begins with a string of consistent actions practiced every day, until eventually, these habits form into an unbreakable chain, and become extremely hard to diffuse years later. You default to easy or fun tasks and convince yourself that you are being productive. Although you know what you should be doing, you just don’t know how to move forward. In a state of constant immobility, you remain mentally paralyzed by overwhelm and a feeling of helplessness. If this describes your situation, you’re in the right place. I’m here to help you. With my system in Do the Hard Things First, we will turn your ongoing self-sabotaging situation around. There is no tomorrow if there is time today. If procrastination—the habit of putting off things that require immediate attention—is having a negative impact on your life, this book will show you how to triumph over the habit and win your life back one small victory at a time. It’s Time for a Change. It’s time to start winning instead of losing to the battle that has consumed your life—the battle against procrastination. What is Procrastination? According to researchers, procrastination is defined in the psychological literature as the practice of putting off impending tasks to a later time, even when such practice results in “counter-productive and needless delay.” It is the act of delaying work that you know needs to be done… but you choose not to do it in favor of an activity you enjoy. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Besides, we all have the right to act lazy or favor watching TV over cleaning the living room. But procrastination becomes a problematic habit when the damage incurred is extended over a long term, often branching into decades. Procrastinating on decluttering your room will not ruin your life…but failing to organize your finances and having to work into your 70s just to pay the bills could be an undesirable situation. You fail to act now and as a result, end up paying later. Procrastination can be further defined as the state of acting against all common sense or judgment. For many people, it’s a loss of self-control or poor self-regulation. Instead of doing the work that really matters, you might fill your time with worthless activities that make you feel busy but, amounts to nothing by the end of the day. Procrastination is a form of self-defeat and self-sabotage. When out of control, it can create chaos and irreparable damage in your life. The primary driving force behind procrastination is the prioritization of short-term mood repair and emotion regulation over long-term achievement and wellbeing. This means that, when procrastinators are averse to a task they don’t want to do, they will delay taking any form of action in order to escape the suffering from negative emotions in the present. Who Am I? (and Why I Procrastinate) First, I’m not a professional psychotherapist and I don’t have a degree or a Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD). What I do have are fifty years of life on planet Earth, and a lot of experiences to share with you that can help you build the greatest version of YOU. But before we get into that, what I can bring to the table is a lifetime battle with one of the most underrated self- defeating habits there is: Procrastination! I love the subject of procrastination for the absolute transparency it has shown me in how I relate to the world. I’ve thought about this topic a lot, read many books, have taken programs (that I never finished) and immersed myself in some great online blog content (check out Tim Urban at https://waitbutwhy.com/) and, having fumbled and failed through my life, still turned out with a pretty good life living in Japan as a full-time author and online educator for personal development. But all that aside, I struggle to this day with my own demons that want to multi-task, create massive to-do-lists, organize sock drawers, and learn HTML coding while watching YouTube videos. If you can relate to this, you’re in the right place! Although I have managed to push through my own struggles and published 15 books to date, so when people say to me, “wow, you’ve written so many books!” my first response is, “Yes, and I procrastinated on writing every one of them.” I’m excited to share this latest adventure with you as I dive into the best strategies (and a system) that have worked for me over the years. I managed to turn fear into action, and chronic procrastination into… well, less procrastination than I practiced before. My goal is to teach you how to fail less by learning through the failures I’ve made. With all this said, let’s dive deeper into this mess and build something together that will stand the test of time… Present vs. Future Rewards There are many reasons we procrastinate, but the scope of this material is going to provide you with a formula and a system to reduce and control the behavior of delaying. We will cover a list of reasons for procrastination soon, but the most prevalent reason I have experienced is the brain’s relationship to immediate vs. future gratification. Based on a phenomenon called time inconsistency, according to behavioral psychology, this is the tendency of the brain to favor immediate rewards over future rewards. Let’s look at the dynamics between your present self and future self. When you set a goal—saving for retirement or traveling around the world— you are making plans for your future self, and future “you” values long-term rewards. So, while in the future you can set goals, only in the present moment can you take action. When a decision must be made what action to take now, researchers discovered that, while the future YOU really wants a long-term dream to come true, present you favors instant gratification, and would rather watch TV instead of working out, or eat sugar-filled snacks instead of a salad. When a goal such as “traveling the world” someday is in the distant future, procrastination makes sense. If it isn’t happening now, I can continue to dream about it. But the future is rolling up fast, and what we discover is that goal we set for ourselves ten years ago is now only five years away, and then one year away. So, what happens? We extend the timeline. You tell yourself, “I’ll just go after the kids are older” or, “When I finally get around to getting the money together.” But that never happens. We talk about it but take little action in the present moment to make it a reality in the future. It becomes a continuous loop of planning, extending the deadline, planning again, extending again. When goals lack urgency, it opens the door for procrastinating indefinitely. When you wake up and you’re forty years old, and all the plans you made in your 20s are out of reach, you realize that while you were busy making more plans and talking about it, the years rolled over you. There is a large gap between the time when we complete a task and the time at which we will receive the reward for completing. This distance between the present now and your goal can cause you to discount the value of this reward, which means that the motivational value of the goal will be reduced. It’s like a tiny speck on the ocean that appears miles away, and you can barely make out what it is. You don’t pay attention to it until you get closer and see that it’s a massive tanker… coming right at you! I don’t want this to happen to you, so defeating the procrastination habit is going to save your life. You deserve to live your dreams today, and that means working now to reap the rewards later. But you can still enjoy the small rewards along the way. I believe that the journey is the reward, and the result is the accumulation of all the work you put in on a daily and weekly basis. When you insert balance into your daily life, you are able to enjoy today while assuring your long-distance plan will be fruitful. Imagine where you want to be in ten years, and the steps you must take today to get there. We’re talking about small steps, baby steps, but taking action no matter what. Understanding—what James Clear refers to as—the present you and the future you relationship, is one key to getting started on breaking down this self-defeating behavior. What You Need to Succeed As with anything that requires a change in behavior, the best thing you can do is show up every day with a clean slate. This means wiping away past guilt for all the days you’ve lost because of procrastination, and leaning into self-forgiveness. Yes, right now—before we go any further—stop what you’re doing, close your eyes and say, “I forgive you (your name). Now let’s do this!” In fact, this should be the first thing you do at the start of each day. You need a mindset that is open to learning. You will fail and stumble, and there will be days when self-doubt hijacks your confidence. When you think about giving up and going back to the way things used to be (your comfort zone), I want you to visualize the consequences of this decision. Bring your mind back to the present moment and the journey. The comfort zone is a place for old behaviors and a shipyard of bad habits that constantly fail us. My goal is to take you out of your comfort zone—even for just a short time—to show you greater possibilities that exist. The greatest ideal you can bring to the table is your determination. This is how you will push through anything that gets in your way. You will succeed by showing up to play, even if it means losing most days. You will show up to learn, even if it means working longer days. As Tony Robbins always says, “it’s not resources we are lacking, but resourcefulness.” When you have an attitude of unlimited resourcefulness, you will always attract the resources. You have everything that is needed to succeed in this course, in your life, and beyond. I can give you the tools, but it’s up to you to put them to use. This is more than just a book about overcoming procrastination or building better habits. You will do these things, but the outcome in Do the Hard Things First is about knowing why we put ourselves in these situations, and then creating a solution to heal old behavior. "If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary." — Jim Rohn What You’ll Learn in Doing the Hard Things First Benjamin Franklin once said, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” In Do the Hard Things First, I will teach you my practical system I have developed and used to recover from a debilitating habit of chronic procrastination spanning over three decades. I’ve done a lot of procrastinating in my life, and while I relied heavily on the practice to cope with reality, I recognized the harm it had caused, and would continue to cause, if I didn’t take definitive action and replace this bad habit with a set of healthy behaviors. Procrastination (which I refer to as task avoidance addiction) reduces your energy when all the incomplete tasks pile up in your head. In a mad shuffle to finish tasks at the last minute, you end up failing to do anything worthy of quality. Remember, if a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing to the best of your ability. The habit of doing hard things last—or not at all—is a trap. The moment you fall into the trap, you make a pact with yourself to do it later, on a better day, at a more convenient time. But time slips away. Days become weeks. Weeks become months and a year passes by. Overwhelmed and ashamed, you handle this condition by making yourself busy doing other things. When you look at all your “must-do” items on an endless checklist of never-ending tasks, you sweep everything into the corner, with every intention of “getting to it soon.” In this situation, we tend to choose the easy things first to experience a sense of getting something done, even if it isn’t what should have been done first. You ask yourself, “what is the harm, as long as I’m working?” But the question is, what are you working on? I remember working fourteen-hour days and when I reviewed the tasks completed, I didn’t have one. Spending three hours a day on email is not a priority, and yet, I would find myself stuck in an inbox of endless messages because this appeared to be easy work. The mind has been trained to do work that is easy and fun. You have strong intentions to take hard action, but feeling deflated and defeated, all your energy goes into looking busy, with little to show for it. Most of our incomplete tasks and projects remain there, rotting away as we plunge ahead, looking busy to the outside world, but getting little accomplished. Meanwhile… The list is as endless as are the excuses. Why do we avoid doing hard things? There are many reasons, and no good excuses. But be honest with yourself. This isn’t who you want to be. You hate putting things off. You want to be more dependable. You want to work hard and succeed. You want to enjoy helping other people succeed. You want to be organized and feel great about yourself without suffering the shame and guilt of this self-sabotaging task avoidance habit. You love challenges and can handle anything. That is why you made this decision to be here, to learn a process and systematic set of strategies that can turn it all around. You are capable of greatness, and I’ll show you that your procrastination habit is nothing more than a behavior you have mastered. The key to reversing this habit is to practice and implement a new set of behaviors. I’ll help you develop a new identity. I’ll show you a novel approach to making your hard things a priority instead of a “later” task. As you will learn in this book, by doing the hard things first, you will gain a new sense of joy and freedom that you have never experienced before. You will reduce and eliminate anxiety caused by procrastinating, and like myself, most of my anxiety stemmed from this behavior. These are big claims, but I speak from experience. As a helpless procrastinator for over thirty years, when I began doing hard things that used to overwhelm me, my life opened up in so many new ways. Challenges I used to avoid, I now enjoyed taking part in. Work I used to throw under the bed and forget about now ended up on my priority list each morning. I know this freedom exists, and I know that you can also have this freedom if you really want it. IF You really want it. I state this with emphasis because I know change is challenging, but the rewards are life changing. You deserve the best, and I don’t want you to short change yourself anymore. Remember: Procrastination—or bad habits of any nature—is not a trait you’re born with. Just like any other ritual, you learned this habit through years of conditioning. You can unlearn this habit, too. And you will. I believe in you, and working through the lessons presented in this book, you will become supercharged with confidence as you create joy in everything that awaits. Fear lies at the center of procrastination: the fear of success, responsibility, the unknown, and decision making. In the next section, I will cover these fears in greater detail. Take direct control of your fear today, and you are taking intentional action towards your goals. This becomes the fundamental change for building the foundations for a great future. In Do the Hard Things First, you will learn specific strategies to: In this course, you’ll learn my structure for managing your day-to-day schedule, and the importance of why you must adopt the mindset of “Pay Now and Play Later.” You will recognize the pattern of your own self-sabotaging habits. You will kill your excuses when they materialize in your mind. You will restructure your destructive habit of task avoidance and become the best version of yourself, even if you don’t know what that is yet. Together, we will figure out what is best for your life plan moving forward, and integrate behavior change one step at a time. The system laid out in this book is structured to save you time, increase your mental energy, and teach you to think from a place of confidence instead of fear. You’ll learn how to focus in on your #1 tasks for the day, eliminate overwhelm, and become the best version of yourself in all areas of your life. You will learn to rewire your brain to complete the tasks that scare you. I will introduce you to a framework for building an action-focused system to use for the rest of your life. You will develop an action plan and a personal program for defeating procrastination on a day-to-day basis. Content Breakdown: How to Implement Do the Hard Things First To avoid unnecessary confusion and set you up for success, I have deliberately made the lessons in this book easy to follow. If procrastination behavior has always been a struggle, this is where the struggle ends and winning begins. For this book to help you, it requires your commitment to follow through and practice all the strategies as they are laid out. Here is a simple breakdown of the four parts in DTHTF: Part 1: Understanding Your Fear I will talk about the five fears associated with task avoidance. You will identify with the greatest fear holding you back, and over the weeks and months to come, chop away at this fear until free. We all have fears that impede progress, but to address these issues, you must know where the problem originates. In addition, you will learn to identify excuses that become roadblocks to taking purposeful action. Part II: Practical Steps for Doing Hard Things. This is the “meat of the system” and comprises twenty-two strategies for procrastination recovery. You can read through these steps in just a couple of hours and be on your way to taking direct action. I explain the importance of each step and how to integrate them into your daily flow. My advice is to focus on one step at a time, and then integrate (stack) the strategies as you make progress. Part III: Breaking Big Obstacles. This section takes you through the three core areas where you can apply the strategies. These are the big obstacles that can hold you back. As you work through the system for breaking procrastination, you will create a natural synergy for recovery. Taking action always defeats any form of negative conditioning. In Breaking Big Obstacles, you will learn how to: Break Your Negative Conditioning Eliminate Anxiety and Overwhelm Crush Your Limiting Self-Talk Part IV: Scale Up Five Key Areas. In this part, I give you strategies for managing five key areas of your life. Learn how to do hard things to improve your: Health Around home Workspaces Personal finance Personal relationships All the strategies are straight to the point. By using them, you’ll learn what you need to do to take specific action that generates results. This system works if you’re a business owner/entrepreneur, a stay-at-home parent, a student, or a digital nomad living the freedom lifestyle. The reason is that procrastination is an issue we all deal with. From high performance strategists to young adults, the need to delay work we don’t want to do is a “human” element. Everyone loves to be lazy and take it easy, and there is nothing wrong with that. My goal with this book isn’t to turn you into an “efficiency machine,” but rather, help you break through obstacles holding you back so that you can take your life to the next level. The time has come for you to overcome this negative, self-destructive habit. Life is too short to waste the little time you have. I believe that together, we can make a difference. Let’s dive deeper into part 1! Part I: Breaking Fear, Minimizing Excuses, and the Science of Delaying Gratification  “We lead our lives so poorly because we arrive in the present always unprepared, incapable, and too distracted for everything.” — Rainer Maria Rilke  Coping Mechanisms and Procrastination “Procrastination is not Laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name and forgive yourself. — Julia Cameron Do the Hard Things First is designed to help you develop a system for dealing with and winning over procrastination. This is a complex issue, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. If you can identify the coping strategies that you favor when the procrastination habit is triggered, this gives you an edge over old behavior. A coping mechanism is an internal manipulative function that we have programmed to give us permission for acting out without restraint. Knowing how you delay important tasks leads you towards better strategies to combat the problem. The question to ask yourself is, “how will I respond the next time I catch myself putting something off?” Knowing how the pattern begins is a key observation to turning it around. There are probably various strategies that you have used to deal with procrastination. Coping mechanisms reduce stress, anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame. They work to the degree that they regulate our negative emotions surrounding task avoidance by minimizing the emotional effect of procrastination. In the short term, coping mechanisms carry you through the storm. But eventually, the storm returns some day and the long- term damage becomes apparent. For example, you delay saving money in the short term, but decades later, you are still working because you have saved nothing. You delay eating healthier now because you want just one more donut, and five years later you have diabetes. Coping mechanisms favor the present you to the future you. But as you grow self-aware of the triggers that cause you to delay, you can implement changes to your environment and change routines to begin with. Later we will target the specific strategies for reacting to triggers. As you read this list and recognize your own particular coping mechanism, it raises your level of self-awareness. A red flag will appear when you lean into your procrastination tendency. Read through this list and identify the top three mechanisms that apply to you. Give it a rating from 1 to 10 of how strong your tendency is to tap into this mechanism when the urge to delay appears. I have included a set of solutions to help you with each coping mechanism. Coping Mechanisms List (1). Self-isolation. Avoiding others and avoiding letting others know how bad your procrastination is. This could involve pretending that you’re able to run your own business, but in reality, your accounting books are a mess and the more imbalanced it becomes, the stronger you procrastinate on taking care of business. Self-isolation is one of the more difficult coping mechanisms to deal with because you’re very self-aware that you’re procrastinating. But without effective tools to move forward, you retreat alone into a cave to hide from the shame and feelings of failure. People who cope through isolation build walls around vulnerability to defend against their weaknesses and hope that they are not discovered as a fraud. But self-isolating only works to strengthen the weakness and eventually becomes an emotional escape point. When in fear, “run!” Solution: Use this time to set goals for yourself. Take action pro-actively without seeking the help or support of anyone. This builds self-efficacy, a term we will discuss in more detail later. To recover from self-isolation, you must learn to: 1. Reach out when you need to; 2. Learn to be alone when you need to. Self-isolation is used too often as self-medication. But it simply estranges you further from the truth. And showing vulnerability to people is growth. (2). Distraction. Engaging in unrelated behaviors to distract yourself from the task that you need to complete. This could involve scrolling through worthless social media content, playing video games, or turning on TV instead of working on your project. We will talk about distraction later, but like most people, distraction plays a role in how we work, communicate, and interact with the world. The only distraction you should concern yourself with is your own mind. That is where it begins. For example, it isn’t your phone that distracts you but, your impulse to pay attention to it. First, your mind has a thought about it, and then you do it. Solution: Make a list of the external stimuli that are distracting you. Every time you are pulled away from a task to “check” or do something else, note what it is. What thoughts did you just have to trigger this? Was it a feeling of anxiety or boredom? Identifying your distraction zone means you can block it. Awareness is key. Knowing that this thing (a device, social media,) triggers you to react means you can say no when it happens. (3). Comparison. Comparing your procrastination issues to someone else’s problems or justifying your past behavior to downplay your current actions. This could involve saying that your procrastination is acceptable, because everyone you know procrastinates to some degree, so why am I any different. Solution: Run your own race at your own pace. If others are delaying or procrastinating, that is there issue. When you play the comparison game and say “it’s okay, because they do it too,” you’re setting limitations. Your only focus should be on making yourself better today than you were yesterday. When you catch yourself in the comparison trap, your focus is on them and not on you. Shift this focus to laser in on your strategy for pushing procrastination aside and getting things done. (4). Emotional Distancing or Minimizing. You try to create emotional distance by minimizing how much you actually care. This could involve saying that you don’t care about how you’ll do in the job interview, so you act “tough” or nonchalant about it. Or you avoid asking someone out because you’re afraid of rejection. Your friend asks, “How did it go?” and you say, “I decided she wasn’t worth it.” Procrastination can be used as a form of avoiding situations where there is a risk of rejection or the chance of failing. Instead of trying, you blow it off and make like it’s not a big deal. But beneath the surface, you feel a sense of loss. Solution: Failure is a fear everyone struggles with. But you can overcome this by asking yourself, “How would you act if you knew you couldn’t fail? What would you ask if you knew you couldn’t hear “no”? Who would you approach and what would you request?” Being told no is a good thing because it conditions us to continue asking when we are turned down. There is no such thing as a magic door that is opened for everyone at all times. Don’t minimize your importance or self- worth by brushing off opportunity. (5). Denial. Pretending that you’re not actually procrastinating, by engaging in unnecessary activities instead of working on the task that you should work on. For example, this could involve calling your friends or texting people to “get motivation” from reaching out to others. You might say, “I have to call Steven before I start this thing.” Your conversation with friends continues for hours and then you’re out of time. Solution: You are an intuitive human. When you put things off, even when you try to ignore it, you know this. Listen to the voice inside of you that is raising the anxiety flag. Your anxiety is triggered when you think about doing a specific task. For example, when there is a form that I need to fill out and every time I look at it I feel anxious, that means I need to do this thing now. Denial thrives in distraction, but it also stirs up anxious thoughts, pushing you to “do it now!” Pay attention to this feeling. Take five minutes to sit with your thoughts. That thing you’re avoiding, take five minutes to work on it. We will cover this simple strategy in detail soon, but the five-minute rule is a game changer. (6). Avoidance. Avoiding anything related to the task that you’re procrastinating on. For example, this could involve having twenty-seven tabs open on your computer so you can easily jump from one task to the other instead of doing the work that needs to be done. We will talk about task avoidance throughout this book and I’ll arm you with the best strategies for tackling task avoidance. Solution: Procrastination begins with specific triggers that pull your attention away from what needs to be done. Pay attention to your thoughts. Before you become distracted, you will have a thought to “check this” or “go do that.” Take five minutes and close your eyes. Think about the task you need to do. Visualize doing this as an every-morning or evening habit. Stay in the moment and target your work with laser-focus. If you’re avoiding taking purposeful action, look closely at the emotion holding you back. Is it the fear of failing? Is it the fear of change? Is your comfort zone holding you back? In Do the Hard Things First, my purpose is to teach you how to condition your mind to ignore the pull of your distracted mind. Distraction is a choice that begins with a decision by default to run after a task that has nothing to do with what really matters. Start with present moment observation. I use a meditative technique to condition and strengthen my mind for not responding to sudden urgencies or emergencies. In my meditation, I use a form of positive self-talk where I visualize doing the action that I’m procrastinating on. Then, immediately after the meditation—that lasts about ten minutes—I take one small step towards doing the task. (7). Valorization or Identification. Taking pride or pretending to take pride in how much you procrastinate. For example, this could involve boasting to your friends about how much you procrastinated before an exam. You might say, “I’m such a procrastinator!” and attach yourself to the behavior as if it’s something to celebrate. Externally, you make light of the fact, but internally, you’re feeling like a loser and trapped in the behavior that is failing you. Solution: You’re not a procrastinator. That is a behavior, and you can change that. Later we will dive into a strategy for stripping away this false identity. When you catch yourself saying, “I’m a procrastinator,” remember that you act the part you play. If you play the role of a procrastinator, you’ll continue to act this out. Replace this with, “I’m an action taker!” You will take more action and be less stuck. (8). Making Big Plans (That Never Happen). This is also known as wishful thinking. This happens when you focus on what you wish you could accomplish, instead of on what you’re accomplishing in reality. You make false promises to yourself that things will be different in the future. This is the short term/long-term battle that everyone struggles with between your present self and future self. For example, you talk about all the goals and big plans you are working on, so that it appears you’re highly productive, a big shaker and mover. Meanwhile, when nobody is listening or looking, you fall back to watching TV or daydreaming about success while no work is being done. You fall into a pattern of “living your dreams” without actually living your dreams. But as long as you keep telling yourself that “someday I’ll get around to it,” you can continue to procrastinate about doing anything to make your dreams a reality. Solution: Focus on one goal at a time. Make it a small goal. Avoid committing to a big goal that overwhelms you. When you feel stress or pressure to succeed—and you don’t—you will fall back into a habit of avoidance. For example, if your goal is to get into great shape, start with five push-ups in the morning. Or five minutes of running. Make the goal small enough that you can get a small win quickly. The next week, take it up to ten push-ups, or ten minutes of running. (9). Externalization. You blame your procrastination on external circumstances or causes that are out of your control. This could involve claiming that you can’t start working out because the gym closed for the week. You can’t clean the bathroom because you have run out of paper towel. You can’t call the bank about your late mortgage payment because it’s lunchtime and they must be busy with many other clients. The list of external excuses are convincing, but there is always a way to do something. Remember: As part of your conditioning to avoid hard tasks, you are programmed to seek the best excuses for why it can’t be done. Then you look to validate your excuses with evidence. It’s all geared towards putting it off until a later date when you will get to it… just not now. Solution: External circumstances are not to blame. It’s a game in your mind, and the way to beat it is to stop playing the game. Decide right now that you will not buy into any more excuses from your mind trying to run the show. For example: “I can’t call the bank right now, but I can send an email. I can’t clean the bathroom floor until I get some disinfectant, but I can wipe down the mirror and clean the tub. I can’t bike into the city for exercise because my bike is broken, but I can take the bus halfway and run the rest. Break it down to the smallest action you can take. Even if you can’t complete the project or task 100%, what can you do? (10). Self-Blame or Rumination. Criticizing yourself for your procrastination and for your inability to achieve your goals. For example, this could involve watching hours of TV and feeling guilty for being not motivated to do anything. You are fixating on your mistakes and constantly thinking about how you procrastinate, and then guilting yourself for being so lazy. To compound the feelings of worthlessness, you begin to eat junk food and feed into your own self-loathing. Here is one solution to break out of this pattern: Solution: The healing journey begins with taking control of responsibility. By owning your future and stepping into a self-leadership role, self-blame drops away. You’re now empowered to take charge of your own life. There is opportunity and growth in taking charge of your life. Write down an empowering statement that positions you for being the leader you have always wanted to be. I will cover this in the next section. Taking full ownership of your life is the first step towards recovery from procrastination addiction. These coping strategies can apply to other areas of your life. Overall, they are set up to fail you even though it appears that you’re getting away with it. Pay attention to the excuses you use when delaying something. Are you really too busy now, or just waiting for the perfect moment that will never arrive?  The Cost of Self-Sabotage “The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” — Norman Vincent Peale Comfort, Sabotage and Escapism Putting off doing the hard things first almost destroyed my life. Although this sounds extreme, when we avoid doing the things that cost us our health, time, money, careers and reputation, it can cause disaster. While you have the immediate gratification of avoiding the tedious and uncomfortable task, the long-term outcome is living a life filled with fear, regret, and anxiety. The payoff has no logic, and yet, the chronic procrastinator will lean heavily into delaying hard tasks. When you become prone to taking the easy path, you create the habit of preferring instant gratification rather than looking for long-term success. When you pay for things out of the necessity to avoid doing the hard things you don’t like, I call this extreme procrastination. So, why are hard things so difficult to do? Are you lacking motivation? Are you just lazy? Do you need to reset your priorities? Do you fear failure? In fact, it’s a combination of all the above. The obstacle is your mindset pushing up against the difficult task you are trying so hard to avoid. By resorting to extreme procrastination, you choose comfort now over comfort later. You play now but end up paying later. Choosing escape removes the pressure to get it done now, but subconsciously you carry the burden of the uncompleted tasks around with you. This burden becomes a shackle with weights tied to self-esteem, confidence and competency, dragging you further down. There is a heavy price to pay for living this way, and the bill is heading your way. But it’s not too late. You can shift this form of self-sabotage. When you do, freedom is yours. Remember this: By avoiding the difficult work, you choose to do something else less important, less engaging, and chances are, less challenging. You spend more time thinking about doing it and creating excuses for why it can’t be done. When you suddenly have the time for it, you get ‘busy’ with another task. So, why are you thinking about it instead of doing it? Why avoid the tasks that bring positive momentum into your life and fill you with energy and enthusiasm? It begins with the fear of danger. You avoid fire because you know it burns. You run from a predator to avoid being eaten. This same psychology is how you feel about doing hard things, and even though you’re not in danger of becoming physically burned or eaten, you’re “burning your house down” through procrastination. I have seen people go bankrupt, lose their jobs, and in severe circumstances, lose friendships and ruin relationships. Another reason is a form of self-sabotage. You don’t feel good about yourself. You think you 're lacking in motivation when really, it’s a fear of failure. You subconsciously believe if you try to succeed but fail, the game is up. You will let people down. The only alternative is to not do it, and by keeping it on your “to-do” list, you know it’s in the background, even if it’s never completed. This is a fallacy promise. It’s failure by false intention. By following this tenet, you end up tackling the easy tasks first to experience the transient euphoria of accomplishment or progress. I understand the temptation. There is always a later. There will always be tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives, there is another day. And another. How simple life is when you can guarantee the coming of another day to do the things you want to avoid today. Meanwhile, the difficult things that actually make a difference take the backseat as important projects remain unfinished, important papers never filed, and broken things just stay broken. My friend, this is a fallacy. It is the first lie we must expose when our minds convince us that doing this hard thing tomorrow is somehow better than doing it today. It’s time to get honest with who you want to become. Never think it’s hopeless or that you’re a special case. I’ve seen the worst—beginning with myself—and I’ve come to experience that we all can remove old behavior, build new habits, and create change. And we can do so at will. I mastered the art of instant gratification many years ago, during elementary school, when I struggled with studying and doing the work. I remember tossing my homework into the corner Friday night, and trying to grind it to the finish Sunday night, or Monday morning just before class. This became my habit until eventually I stopped doing homework altogether. I know, we have all been there, and leaving your homework until the last minute isn’t such a big deal. But over the years… you turn into an average student when you could have been an outstanding student. You become a mediocre employee doing menial jobs when you could hold an executive position, making six or seven figures a year. You end up doing a job you hate because the job you really wanted is reserved for people who will do the difficult tasks to earn the promotion. What looks like a nasty habit is really a pattern of self-defeat that sticks with you. Yes, my habit to procrastinate and do the hard tasks last wasn’t isolated to elementary school. Decades later, it showed up in critical areas of my life. Mismanaged finances, reports and applications never filed, or projects half- finished and left to complete in the last minute. Relationships that would break apart because I avoided communication, and my line of credit destroyed when I forgot to pay the bills. The end result was high stress, insomnia, paralyzing fear, and the inability to manage life’s basic tasks. I would come up with excuses to explain why I couldn’t finish things: Your list of excuses is endless, but you’ve used them so many times the default to procrastinate isn’t just a habit for you, it’s become a way of life. You have mastered it so well that the thought of being someone different (a person who does hard things first), is reserved for people who are motivated, smarter, and real go-getters. As you work through your hard things to do list, think about the cost of not doing the difficult tasks. Consider the various areas of your life. Here are five key areas that may require your attention: (1). Business and Work. If I don’t make progress on this project, I will disappoint my coworkers and manager who placed great faith and trust in me. (2). Relationships. If I don’t have a conversation with my wife about our future, she will become disinterested and have the conversation with someone else. (3). Health and Wellness. If I don’t lose weight and reduce my fat, I’ll gain more weight, which will make me sick. If I get sick, I won’t be able to work properly, I’ll be less productive, lack energy and my life will become stagnant. I don’t want this! (4). Finance and Investments. I’ve been working for ten years and only have $100.00 in the bank. If I don’t start a savings plan today, ten years later I’ll be ten years older with zero money. (5). Personal Productivity. If I don’t clean up my files, I’ll become so disorganized that I won’t be able to find anything. This will lead to mental exhaustion and build anxiety in my life. This would be a terrible way to wake up every day. I don’t want to pay that price! Here is what you can do right now. Make a short list of the five key areas in your own life. These probably include a few I’ve already mentioned. Now, as in the examples provided, write down the price you could end up paying if you cannot take purposeful action and do the hard work without delay. It’s time for you to stop paying for procrastination! It’s easy to consider delaying difficult tasks as nothing more than a bad habit. When you look at the situation, you can see the ways you minimize priority tasks while prioritizing the non-critical ones. Procrastination is the act or habit of putting off something to a future time. It involves delaying what needs to be done, usually because the task is unpleasant or boring—or simply because delaying is an option. By putting something off until a later date, you fall for the illusion that you are getting away with something. However, no matter how insignificant this appears, you will end up paying for it later when you intend to work on critical tasks that require your immediate attention… and you can’t or won’t be able to start. To illustrate, here’s a true story of my own attempts at self-sabotage. Several years ago, I received a bill on one of my two credit cards. I received the bill for the new card I’d used only once. The total came to $600. Not a problem. I had the money. But because I hadn’t set this card up with my bank account, it meant I had to drive across town to pay it at the bank. That was too much effort for me, so I tossed the bill in the corner and told myself, “I’ll do it Friday”. By the time Friday arrived, other things had come up. The bill stayed where I’d tossed it and a month later, the credit card company sent a reminder. This one, I also tossed to the side and said, “Yup, this week I’ll do it.” But I never did. More reminders arrived. I could have tacked them on a wall, but instead, I made more excuses. I told myself I’d always paid my bills, so why was this any different? My excuses were valid. I was too busy, but had every intention to get to it later. There was always a later when I wanted to delay something. There would be a perfect day, a better time, a more convenient day of the week. Now, I live in Japan, so everything is in Japanese. While I can read the language, in my mind I was going to play “dumb” and pretend I couldn’t understand what they were asking. Finally, the reminders stopped coming. I was relieved. Until they sent one final warning. I procrastinated again. I delayed taking any form of action. I pushed the task out of my mind and filled that space with more “interesting” activities that fueled instant gratification. The last letter I received hit home. My card had been canceled. My account canceled. But also, my other card had been canceled, too. In fact, the company canceled everything after the account went to payment arrears and I had lost my credit clearance. All because I wouldn’t drive to the other side of town to pay a bill for $600. Before this, I’d always paid my bills, never missed a mortgage payment, or had a creditor call me. But this particular case was different. It was deliberate self-sabotage. It could have been avoided. I immediately felt regret. Shame. And blame. How could this happen? How could they do this to me? With my credit now in the arrears, like the raft that drifts too far down the river to avoid the falls, disaster had actually arrived. The damage done. I had delayed to the extent that it was out of my control. But this wasn’t just about getting a credit card canceled. Over the years, it compounded into other difficulties. I couldn’t get any more cards, couldn’t take out a loan, and when I traveled overseas, I had to find hotels that would accept cash or use a debit card. I had really screwed myself. But afterwards, I continued with the same patterns. I was locked into a habit that was holding me hostage. The habit of “do it later, play now.” I would delay the task and then deny it actually existed. I continued to put off other things, too. For example, I put off: These could well be listed as “hard things”, and when we put off the hard things until later, we set ourselves up for failure…later. For many, this is more than a bad habit. It has become a crippling, self- defeating behavior which has disastrous consequences. Habits are reversible, but to reverse the bad habits, we must realize them so we can stop practicing them. When it comes down to it, the habit of critical task avoidance is nothing more than a pattern of repetition—a pattern we must break. Fear needs to be seen as a compass... because that feeling is telling us we’re onto something.  Introduction to Fear For procrastination, fear has a strong undertow effect. Fear sucks you in and pulls you down. It immobilizes you and makes you powerless and fearful to take any action that could lead to failure, risk or overwhelm. All procrastination is hidden behind fear. It’s often implied that people who procrastinate are lazy. This is far from the truth. Most habitual procrastinators I know are hardworking, smart people, who want to do their best in everything. We procrastinate out of fear because we care. I don’t know you personally, but I’m going to guess you’re a hard worker who cares about doing their best: at work, at home, and in your personal growth. You want to maximize your value and time and move away/escape from the fear that stands between you and all your dreams. Practicing task avoidance is the barrier to everything you have ever wanted, and you must break it down. Doing the hard work is broken down into five core fears: Each fear is attached to a series of excuses that give you all the reasons you need to delay action. Your goal is to break the connection to the past identity that was grounded in fear, and free up the new version of you that desperately wants to push forward beyond the comfort of your self-imposed limitations. When it fuels your passion to succeed, fear is a good thing, but only if you learn to control the experience. You can do this by identifying the excuses running through your mind. You must train your mind to rewrite the messages it’s feeding you. Let’s break down each fear, one by one. This will free up your mental capacity and make room for positive reinforcement. Fear #1: The Fear of Commitment Fear keeps us stuck in the “do nothing and hope for the best” situation. When I’m procrastinating on a deadline, I feel like the runner in a race that is still at the start line, while everyone else has already entered the course and is racing for the finish line. I’m too afraid to lose, so I stay behind because doing nothing is better than doing something and failing. This is where the fear of doing hard things begins. You opt for total self- defeat by making a promise with yourself that you will do it at an unspecified time in the future. It won’t be now, but you intend to do it soon. Someday. Later. When you feel like it. A voice inside whispers, “You know this isn’t true.” In other words, you don’t really intend to do it, but as long as you tell yourself it is on the to-do-list, you can believe the lie. This is a commitment based on false intentions. The fear of committing to doing my hard thing is mired in doubt and uncertainty. “What if you need more time? What if you get halfway done and decide this isn’t for you?” To overcome the fear of committing to doing hard things, I decided to tackle all things that created anxiety. Everything I usually avoided doing—having serious conversations with difficult people, forms I never filled out, clutter that would pile up after months of pretending it didn’t exist. As I tore apart all these fabrications, it was like ripping into the chaos of my fearful mind, where everything was wrapped up nice and tight. To reach the truth, I repeatedly asked myself this question: “Why are you protecting your fear?” I immediately went to work in my journal and brainstormed all of my thoughts. Here is what I came up with: The answer: “I might fail at doing the work that matters.” The truth: By putting off important tasks for my life and business, I am failing anyway. If I had to sum up the best way to the procrastination habit, I’d refer to Seth Godin’s advice on shipping: “Sometimes we mistakenly believe that we’re building something that takes time, but what we’re actually doing is hiding. We stall and digress and cause distractions, not because the work needs us to, but because we’re afraid to ship our work out to the world.” Everything became clear when I took a step back and observed my work habits. All the things I was delaying were damaging my business, my life, my finances, and all the places in between. I had built the habit of delaying, so I could feed my fear of shipping. For me, it was unbearable to arrive at this realization. But when I learned to confront my fears, and consciously saw the damage procrastination was creating in my life, I began making room for growth. I only started growing by cutting loose of old habits and committing to the process of continuous change. Later is the enemy of creativity and transformation. Here are three more reasons that could hold you back from committing: You’re Waiting to Become “Motivated” Before Doing Anything. You think you’ll do it when the motivation hits you, or when you feel like it, but you can rarely trust your feelings with procrastination. Motivation comes with working, and if you can inject energy and interest into the task you’re working on, it will create the inspiration you seek. The motivation you seek is hidden behind the clouds of fear, doubt, and uncertainty. Motivation is a creation, and you generate motivation by taking intentional action. I discovered that, by getting busy, I increased my energy in the work, even when I wasn’t thrilled about starting it. A lack of motivation can be caused by stress, fatigue, overeating, or negativity in your social circle or work environment, but it isn’t because you are lazy. You want to succeed, and you want to do this thing, and you will as soon as you apply action to the task. You Feel Overwhelmed at Starting the Project. Doing something is always better than sitting and doing nothing. When drilled down to its essence, taking action puts your brain and body into motion so you can push through difficult circumstances. Even when the action you’re taking is uncertain or unrelated to the intended outcome, when it’s time to get busy, find the simplest task you can do—and work on it. To illustrate this effect, one of my business connections works in an office. On some days he feels completely overwhelmed with his schedule of meetings, emails, more meetings, time commitments, and so on. So, when he is alone and needs to find a motivational task, he makes Christmas cards— even if it’s June. He figures that he will use them soon enough! I have another friend who staples together office reports when he feels himself putting off heavy tasks. This simple action leads him into the other tasks. You Are Focusing on Too Many Distractions. There is no shortage of distractions around the office or at home. Worse still, it isn’t the fact that distractions exist but that you actively seek them out when you want to avoid doing something. An avoidance seeker’s greatest glory is to uncover a reason they can’t get something done. Now, other factors that impact you personally may be if you have ADHD or anxiety disorder. This makes distraction seem like a natural part of your routine. But if this is the case, it’s all the more reason to work hard at overcoming the distraction addiction. Despite living in extraordinarily distracting times, you are in control of your own mind. Nobody else is telling you to focus on this or that. As you will see in the coming section, taking responsibility is the first step to healing procrastination and doing the hard things first. Fear #2: Fear of the Unknown When was the last time you did something without worrying or overthinking the outcome? One of the core reasons we put things off is fear of the unknown. It’s perplexing to try to understand why someone would wake up early every morning, get dressed, and go to work in a job they hate. It makes no sense why you would stay in a toxic relationship or live in a town with no jobs so you take whatever you can get. Many of our choices boil down to a deep-seated fear of the unknown. It’s the mystical place that lives beyond our comfort zone. It’s the place of uncertainty and change. It is everything you imagined it could be, and everything you can’t imagine. Embrace Your Fear of the Unknown I now live in Japan but, before coming here, I had a comfortable life in my hometown of Canada. I had no reason to leave. I could have stayed there forever, enjoying the quiet life and working in the local factory. There would have been nothing wrong with that, of course. However, with a relationship that was moving closer towards marriage, one day, I decided to leave. Something had always pushed me to explore more of what was out there, and I knew that to find what that was, I’d have to leave. I made the decision to do just that, and six months later, I boarded a plane bound for the Far East. I couldn’t speak the language, could barely hold chopsticks, and I was flying to an Asian country to experience something that most people would never see. After arriving, I set myself up with a job and, although many people believed I’d lost my mind, something inside told me I was living a dream. I had crushed the fear of the unknown, and I welcomed each day with anticipation. I often wondered what I would have missed if I had never made the leap. The fear of the unknown will always be an obstacle if you try to predict the outcome of an action. It’s easy to predict the known. But the unknown is the other side of this fear. Now, you don’t have to move to the other side of the world, but what are you putting off deciding that could change everything? Here is an actual story to illustrate what I mean. My friend Debbie had been in a terrible relationship for several years. It was abusive, both emotionally and physically. When her friends asked, “Why don’t you leave?” she would reply, “And go where? Who would want me? At least in this relationship I know where I stand.” Debbie was held back by the fear of what would happen after she left her abusive partner. To her, the consequences were terrifying. Eventually, Debbie left that relationship, and sure enough, after months of improving her self-esteem, she met someone else and completely changed her life. But it never would have happened if she had stayed put. You can’t accurately predict the outcome of an action. When the mind locks into the worst-case scenario, it becomes your future reality. You create your future based on the predictability of your past. As the saying goes, “If you continue to do the things you’ve always done, you will only get what you’ve always got.” What happens when that thing you’ve been putting off suddenly demands your attention? Will you ignore it, or do what must be done? As you consider this question, ask yourself: “What are the consequences if I do nothing? What opportunity could I be throwing away?” By not doing it, you are not getting away with anything. In the short term, it might appear that way, but this is an illusion. It’s a lie that you tell yourself. Ask yourself: What are the consequences of not looking for a new job? What will I lose by staying in the same place doing the same thing, surrounded by the same negative environment? You must visualize the life you want to lead, and not what is expected of you. You can change your life, but only if you take charge and lead the way. Nobody will step in and do what is best for you. The unknown is waiting for you to jump in and discover all you can be. But you must trust yourself and start your journey. Although I have always struggled against procrastination, the best decisions I made always came about when I trusted my gut. I couldn’t always explain why I had to do something, but if it comes down to living a predictable lifestyle, or exploring the depths of my own potential, I’ll always take the latter. The unknown is on the other side of this fear. Break through it by making what you really want clear. If you want to try something new but you’re afraid to do it because of harsh criticism or “nobody has ever done this before”, that is precisely why you should do it. But only if your gut instinct is guiding you. Tap into this energy and believe in the direction it wants to take you. One of my regular practices is to sit down and imagine where I intend to be in twenty years. I visualize the life I am living because I jumped into the unknown and lived an uncommon lifestyle. What about you? Where will you be if you jump into the unknown? Conversely, where will you be if you don’t live in the unknown? Fear #3: The Fear of Discomfort. If there is one reason procrastination and avoiding difficult things is so prominent in our lives, it is: The obsession to avoid discomfort. If you can beat this obstacle, this frame of mind, you are taking the battle with procrastination to the front-lines. To do this, you must train your mind to lean hard toward discomfort. If procrastination is a habit, it’s because you are trained for living in a zone of comfort with habits that support this behavior. Why do you think so many people live in the past? Why do we continue to engage in behavior that leads us towards failure? Taking the leap from comfort to discomfort is scary—but it is only the first step. There will be many more challenges on the way, but as you push forward, you build courage and confidence. With each step, you make gradual improvement in both old habit and behavior. Change creates discomfort, but this is temporary. Don’t give up when you fail to get the result you were expecting. Most people fail to change because they fail to change. Leaning into discomfort is accepting the reality that life is not designed to be easy. If you believe it is, you’re setting yourself up for a fall. Discomfort brings fear, and we prefer to avoid fear in the same way our ancestors would retreat from danger. However, sometimes, the brave soldier would head into battle with no prompt. By leaning hard into discomfort, everything will eventually become easier. Better yet, you will change your state of mind, and when your emotional state changes, your mindset and attitude also change. All the strategies in this book will make sense. Change isn’t easy because discomfort is challenging. Doing the Hard Thing is Uncomfortable. Yes, it is. You have to do the work you’d rather ignore. You have to initiate the conversation with your boss about your contract. You have to call the customer who isn’t happy with your service or product. When it’s uncomfortable, it becomes an opportunity to grow. Do you want to grow, or stay where you are? If things are easy, you are accustomed to the habit or routine. Anything that lacks challenge also lacks growth. You may think you’re getting off easy by taking the easy way out, but this only disempowers you. By doing what is uncomfortable, you break the habit of procrastination and move forward with the task. Face your fears, change your gears, and dig in for hard work. Here are five practices for leaning into your discomfort. Make them a part of your routine. Break the resistance that stands between your mind and doing what needs to be done. We have already covered several of these strategies, but let’s bring everything together here: Reduce sedentary tasks. These are the habits that suck you in and steal your time and energy. Instead of exercising, you eat a snack or lie around watching TV. The next time this happens, start doing the thing you are resisting. Do it for five minutes only. Or use the two-minute rule. Do it for two minutes and build a little momentum. Start with the smallest step possible. In 97% of the cases I have seen, people will resist doing a task in their mind, but when they actually get down to taking the first small step, it suddenly becomes easier and accumulates. You know you must write that report, but you haven’t started yet. In fact, you haven’t even opened the file or the template. So, do that. If it is exercise, put your training shoes on. Do a few push-ups. Do something that gets you moving. Energy builds more energy. Do it in small doses. We have a higher risk of putting something off if we see it as a big task. Remember the mountain scenario? You can only get to the top by advancing one step at a time. You don’t have to do any more than that. Resist the urge to break focus. When working on a task, I often have the urge to stop and go chasing rabbits down a trail. This means suddenly surfing the Net, shopping on Amazon, or looking up something that has nothing to do with the task I’m performing. This is my way of leaning back into the comfort zone. When I feel discomfort, my urge is to escape after a short period, but these days, I resist. I’ll carry on for five minutes. Then, when my mind says, “You’ve had enough, let’s take a break” I’ll continue for another five minutes. Or I’ll do one more rep in my workout, or I’ll resist eating that scrumptious cake for another ten minutes. What you resist always builds a deeper level of discipline for tackling hard tasks. When you resist temptation (eating that cake instead of the apple), and lean into taking definitive action towards discomfort (that task you are avoiding), a shift in mental attitude is the result. This is how you build strong habits, day by day, one small step in front of the other. Make a cohesive action list of all the things that make you uncomfortable. This exercise brings a level of deep awareness to what you resist on a subconscious level. It feels so natural to avoid hard things that it goes unnoticed. Create a list of all the things that you don’t enjoy doing. Earlier you made a similar list of everything you are avoiding now, but this list can take you to a deeper level. These tasks could track daily expenses, eating better foods, meditation, reading, saving money, or trying something new. Making a list and prioritizing your action tasks increases your level of awareness as to what needs your immediate attention. Focus begins with an awareness of where to direct your energy, and when you concentrate your focus, it zeroes in on your target. Be aware of your escape method. Just as we have triggers that pull us into bad habits and derail focus, your choice of escape method is the way you flee from discomfort. I have discussed several of these, but the greater awareness you bring to the way you escape, the stronger will be your resolve to defeat the getaway method. Everyone has a way to procrastinate—an escape method to distract you from what you need to do—and when you know what that is, you can start turning away from it. As a way to procrastinate, my escape mechanism was to turn on TV by default. So, I got rid of the TV. You don’t have to go to extremes, but do whatever it takes, especially in the beginning, until you build your discomfort muscle. This is a muscle that can be built with practice and training. Start Now. Most people fail to work on goals in life because they fail to start anything. They sit and wait or get stuck in too many details leading to overwhelm. This brings on a fear of failure and stirs up memories of things you started in the past and gave up on. You negotiate with your mind and decide now is not the time and the excuses step in. “I’ll wait until I’m financially stable.” “I’ll wait until the conditions are better.” “I’ll wait until my kids are older and I have more time.” These excuses hold you back and prevent you from ever actually start working on your goals. As the years pass by, you forget the goals that really mattered. If you want to start, you must begin today. If you write nothing down on the blank page, it stays blank until you put pen to paper. Write down one goal you have. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small goal. Take one small step towards this goal. What is your first immediate step? You must start moving ahead with your goals, and this begins with one thing. You begin everything by taking that first step, no matter how easy it is. What are you waiting for? The perfect day to start, when you have more time, or the perfect day when you’re feeling your best? There is no such thing as the perfect time to take action. Many people wait for the external conditions to improve, for things to drift back to normal. You could wait for someone else to arrive and fix the problem. But ultimately, you must take charge of your destiny. There will never be a better time than today, or right now. Why wait when you can take intentional action today? Conditions are subject to change. The best time to begin your life was yesterday. The second-best time is right now. No matter what your current/present conditions are—rich or broke, sad or happy, scared or feeling courageous, ready or not—we are going to begin right now. Make your decision to stop waiting and start doing. Turn off the TV. Move into a silent area and prepare your mind for what is coming. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now, how often you’ve failed, or how hopeless your situation appears. It’s never too late to succeed or make tomorrow better than today, and today better than yesterday. For years, I put off cleaning out my closets. When I looked at the stuff inside, I just closed the doors. One day I asked myself, “What is the simplest thing I can do to get started?” I threw away one thing. The next day, I threw away another box of junk. I continued to take one thing out of the closet every day—just one. A few weeks later, I’d emptied the entire closet. By doing one thing a day that only took less than a minute, I could start and finish the task. You can do the same thing. Don’t wait. You’ll regret it. Begin working on your difficult obstacle today. When you complete this goal, start working on another. Momentum begins with the first step. Begin with the simplest task possible. Break it down into a task that takes one minute. You can go simpler and make it a thirty-second task. Ask yourself, “What’s my next immediate step?” Start as easy as possible. Make it a small habit. Make the action so easy that you can’t fail. Fear #4: The Fear of Decision-Making Most of our procrastinating behavior is built around the excuses we tell ourselves. They are the internal lies that keep the behavior active. When you decide to delay something, the decision is based on the excuse you’re selecting at that time. Every excuse damages self-esteem, lowers self- confidence and makes it easier for more excuses to move in. The procrastination habit compounds over time. It becomes easier to avoid everything difficult. If you can break down your excuses, you will drill into the core of the monster. By piling up the excuses, you put up barriers to your progress. Listen to the thoughts you’re creating when you procrastinate. What false promises are you making to yourself? What reason do you create for not doing it today? Do you really believe that your situation is so different from everyone else? Do you believe it’s too late to change? It’s never too late. Right now, you are always in the best position to change your life, behavior, habits and circumstances. However, if you continue to believe in the lies, eventually it will be too late. You Deprioritize the Task and Make a Promise to Do It later. This is the #1 excuse I have used for decades to delay everything and anything. I promise myself to do it later, but when later arrives, I make another promise to do it next week. Next week becomes next month, and next month becomes next year. Pro tip: The future will not be better than today unless you make changes today. Your future reflects what you do right now. Your behavior at the moment is who you are becoming in the future. We may delay and avoid taking action because we don’t feel we have the competence to do a task or decide. We feel others will look down on us or we will upset them if we do poorly on a task. We want others to value us, so we procrastinate because we don’t believe we’re ‘good enough’ to achieve without losing face. However, we are often our own worst critics, being overly critical of our performances and doubting our ability to get things done. Being perfect or free from error won’t make others love us—acceptance comes from within.” We must break the illusion that we are winning by avoiding intentional action. In the mindset of a chronic procrastinator, you always win now (by receiving an immediate sensation of freedom and euphoria). Everyone has reasons for putting off certain tasks. Some people are great at paying their bills right away, yet they avoid setting up a savings plan. Someone else can clean their office and it is organized and spotless, but when they go home, throw their dirty clothes in the corner and forget about it for weeks. When the laundry is touching the ceiling, then they think again about doing their clothes, but they push it back another day when a more interesting task shows up. If the task you should tackle is challenging, doing an easier task is less risky. This creates less fear, less stress, and overall is less overwhelming. The result: Less success. The mind is protecting the ego from uncertainty. We don’t want to feel as though we don’t know what we’re doing. We don’t want to look stupid. We don’t want to feel overwhelmed. We don’t want to feel as though we’re not good enough, and we certainly don’t want to feel like a failure or a disappointment to our family, our peers or our community. So, we decide to do nothing. We sit on it. By doing so, we’re protecting ourselves from shame. One self-sabotaging habit of doing this is avoiding making a logical decision about what needs to be done. The fear of decision-making leads to paralysis, which raises stress and frustration. Not deciding is still deciding—you’re deciding to do nothing and leave the outcome to chance! I have made many decisions that failed. When I say I failed, I mean that I didn’t get the outcome I wanted. My expectations were not met. The risk didn’t work out in my favor. Not making a decision is the same as deciding to do something and failing at it. But what if you don’t view your decision as a failure, but something you attempted to do in the face of fear? What kind of world would we live in where every decision we made is a guaranteed winner? It’s not the decision you fear, but the results it brings. If you decide to pay later and do nothing now, this could increase your level of uneasiness towards doing this thing. Remember, we are dealing with two versions of YOU: The present self who wants quick wins, and the Future YOU who is focused on who you become by taking action now. Present YOU would rather watch TV than go for a run, but Future YOU is willing to whatever it takes now to live better later. We make decisions based on these two identities. Present and future self are in constant conflict. As you learn to disengage from your present cravings and desires and become future oriented, you will notice a massive shift in your behavior. You Can’t Make an Immediate Decision, and Decide to “Think on It.” Whenever I was planning to procrastinate, I would say: “Let me think about that.” I would then walk away but never give it another thought. I remember thinking afterwards, “I hope they don’t follow up with me on this, because I have no intention of doing what they want.” Weeks later, I’d run into the same person, or my boss would approach and ask about that thing I was supposed to do, and I’d have to ask for an extension. If I let it go long enough, he’d just ask someone else. The habit of “let me think about it” became an excuse to delay making a commitment to something that could be decided on quickly. When you do this often enough, people stop asking you. Eventually, they stop including you in decisions. Then you isolate yourself and nobody bothers you. This could work if one of your strengths is a deliberator and you need more time than the average person to decide, but for a procrastinator, it becomes an excuse to avoid doing the task altogether. My suggestion: Don’t let yourself get away with this. If you are in the habit of putting off hard things, this could be one excuse setting you up to fail. It starts with “I’ll get back to you later” or “check in with me tomorrow.” But when tomorrow arrives, they can’t find you because you’re hiding in the back of the room, out of sight. To overcome this delaying tactic, I decided the best thing to do was make a decision, commit, and do it on the spot. My decision would be either a yes or no. It didn’t matter what the outcome would be, or if I would regret it later. I simply made a concrete decision. A decision to act had to be made, and I would make it. This was one less thing to think about, which opened up space in my mind for more creative and elaborate ideas. You Get Busy Doing a “Low priority” Easy Task. Doing effortless tasks gives you a false sense of accomplishment. You can do these things quickly (e.g., responding to the last ten emails in your inbox or moving papers around from one drawer to the next). You seek quick wins that pay off now and give you immediate gratification. Fear #5: The Fear of Negative Feedback People procrastinate because they are afraid of being evaluated or because they are afraid of receiving negative feedback from others. When I was in school, one of my greatest fears was getting back the tests I knew I hadn’t studied for and most likely failed. I procrastinated to study for anything and, this habit would eventually feed into a system of self- sabotage. I became very skilled at setting up my own failure. With every test returned, I was guaranteed a C — or just a plain F. School was much easier when you can predict your own success or failure. But what I feared was the repercussions of criticism from others. It wasn’t failing the tests that really bothered me, but the look on the teacher’s face that said “here you go again.” It was the fear of criticism from my parents when they found out I was flunking through my senior year just after making it through Junior High School. I was really feeding into everyone’s expectations. They expected me to fail, and I gave them what they wanted. The fear of feedback—even if it is constructive—can lead to irrational behavior regarding procrastination. This fear causes us to hold back from giving it 100%. Or as I told you in the story, you become so accustomed to failing that you sabotage yourself. This fear can live outside of your boundaries. You search for external validation from your environment that what you’re doing is okay. To use a display of art as an example, if they like your painting, you feel successful and it validates your need to create more. If someone (or the majority) disapproves of your craft, you might never pick up a brush again. For example, someone might delay publishing a blog post—or a book— because they’re worried about what other people are going to think about it. Or the fear of signing up for a new art class because your creative genius will be viewed by others. Most times, people’s fears are irrationally exaggerated or unjustified, because the chances of receiving negative feedback are low, or because the consequences of that feedback aren’t as significant as they feel. Feedback is a learning curve, and it won’t always be communicated in a flowery way. Some people will give you “positive feedback” that you can take away to make improvements on. Other feedback is more critical and it will hurt. But nothing is perfect or done to everyone’s liking. The Mona Lisa is one of the most famous paintings on the planet. Yet, according to polls, 23% of the people who have seen the painting are not satisfied. They were expecting something bigger? Harry Potter is the bestselling book series on the planet, and on Amazon 84% of the reviews are 5-stars. Your life is a life in progress, and welcoming feedback from your teachers, peers and friends is a good thing. But if it’s perceived as an attack on character, I suggest reframing how you perceive and accept feedback. It’s not the critical murmur that’s the issue but how it is received. If you grow up in an environment where criticism is harshly dished out, this affects the level it is received. People who are dealing with SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) might be more sensitive to any kind of feedback and push back when it’s given, even constructively. Now, for procrastination, you might hold back on making that phone call, applying for a new job, or taking on a challenge at work. Your mind begins the loophole of negative questioning: “What if they don’t hire me, is there something wrong? What if I make a fool of myself in front of everyone, will they brand me as incompetent?” When you believe the worst about yourself, it fuels the avoidance addiction to stay away from anything that can cause you harm. As you know, when there is danger near, your ageless instincts kick in to protect your life from danger. There are three strategies I can share with you to recover from the fear of criticism or feedback. (1). Be aware of your avoidance tactics. With criticism, a strategy of avoidance is damaging your future. Aristotle once said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” You must realize that, avoiding criticism makes you weaker. It’s not the criticism that injures you, but your reaction to it. This habit of task avoidance means you are withholding your gifts from the world. Don’t let your fear of criticism stand in the way of your success. (2). Decide who has permission to criticize you. Not all criticizers are created equal, and some shouldn’t even have the right to criticize anything that you’re doing. Set boundaries for people that may provide you with constructive feedback and dismiss the rest. Mentors are an excellent choice for those on the list, because they can provide actual practice receiving criticism in a safe environment, making it a less frightening experience. My strategy is to make a list of people whom you are open to receiving this feedback from. Not that you should disregard anyone not on your list, but start with a short list and expand when you can add someone else. There are people you don’t have to hear from, and this could be the case when they are used to criticizing everything you do without follow up for improvement. Constructive criticism is about listening and receiving with the intention of improving. Someone who tells you, “You did a terrible job of this!” isn’t interested in helping you. Focus on Learning and Improvement, Not External Approval. When you adopt this philosophy, you’re drawn to criticism as a positive tool that helps you grow, instead of avoiding it as a source of rejection. Consider what is constructive about criticism, find the nugget of truth in it, and let it elevate you to a greater level. Reframe criticism as a method to help you scale up and become greater today than you were yesterday. Turn towards the voices that are feeding you to help move forward. When it is your turn to deliver feedback, you can provide constructive feedback to someone else when intending to help that person.  Taking Control of Your Procrastinating Mind When I could identify with my fears, and recognize that the greatest enemy in my life is my own mind, I made a promise to myself: From that moment, I would no longer be scared to do hard things. I would do all the things that were hiding in my closet, under the bed, and in every dark place of my mind, where fear protected my comfort. If the mind really is the greatest asset we have, let’s turn this weapon into a useful tool for success instead of failure. At the end of the day, how you live your life comes down to how you manage your mind. We must resist the temptation to listen to the lies of the mind, which is the ego protecting the barriers. Fear becomes courage when you overcome it. You will always be afraid. We do not defeat fear as though it were an enemy in battle. Rather, we confront this fear, and instead of negotiating for peace, we simply say, “I’m taking over the castle. Now step aside.” But, we know as procrastinators that it’s not always that easy. Even with the greatest intentions, our best efforts fail us. The mind of the rational procrastinator is in a constant struggle with the internal enemy…our own monkey mind! You must position yourself to be the person you always wanted. Fear will step aside, and courage will get you started on the journey. You do not need more courage. You don’t have to learn a new trick or pay for a course on how to feel better about yourself. You have everything you need inside of you now. You are courageous. You have always had courage inside you. Nobody can reach inside and pull it out of you, except you. In months to come, I focused on creating a new mind. I would sit with my thoughts for up to thirty minutes a day. I read books written by great philosophers and personal development masters such as Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins and Zig Ziggler. I turned my hopelessness into a mission with purpose. I developed a great sense of peace and calm like I’d never felt before. It was as if the chaos that I had been living in fell silent. The self-rejection, judgment, and self-imposed limitations no longer had a hold on me. I recognized the sense of freedom because I was letting go. I could see how I had trapped my fear in a bottle and had been living inside the bottle with it. If you have ever heard of the glass ceiling concept, it is a metaphor that originated back in the 80s to describe women or minorities who were prevented from attaining advanced positions at work. We can use this to describe our personal limitations. This happens when you reach a certain stage and you can no longer advance or progress. You remain stuck where you are while everyone else earns promotion, moves on with their lives, and makes substantial progress. I was pushing against a glass ceiling in my mind, and when it was removed, I became free to do anything. The glass ceiling represented my self-imposed limits. Without doubt, the barrier was me. Now that the problem had been revealed, I had to take massive action and start moving forward. Being stuck was painful. Repeating the same mistakes and believing the worst about my limited abilities was unacceptable. As human beings, we are built to explore and grow. The path to greatness lies in doing what hurts. When I feel that old enemy, fear, sinking into my stomach, I take a moment to stop, breathe and ask myself, “What do you fear happening? Why are you afraid? What negative outcome are predicting?” In most cases, my fears are wrapped around the fear of rejection, failing, or not measuring up. If I did such-and-such, I could be made to look like a fool or, worse still, incompetent. Fears of the mind appear real. It’s easy to convince yourself that the voices talking to you are