Week 4 Lecture Notes on Relationship and Wellbeing PDF

EL Prof. Priyadarshi Patnaik PT Department of Humanities and Social Sciences & N Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 16 – Relationship – Connected and happy  EL Why rel...

EL Prof. Priyadarshi Patnaik PT Department of Humanities and Social Sciences & N Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 16 – Relationship – Connected and happy  EL Why relationship matters But then what exactly is relationship? PT Its components Relationship in different contexts Summing up N  Community EL Individual Happiness PT Relationship N  Poll EL PT Friends Facebook friends N Good friends “Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.” EL — Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development PT No man is an island - Dryden N The Harvard Study 1938 (Great Depression), 268 Harvard Sophomores recruited One of the longest longitudinal studies EL 19 of them are still alive! (in their mid 90s) Areas explored and mapped: PT Health N Relationship Success Marriage Key findings: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General EL Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is PT a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.” Research finds correlation between men’s flourishing N lives and their relationships with family, friends, and community The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80 https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has- been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/ Defining relationship What is relationship? What are its key components? EL What are the various types of relationship? What are the distances related to relationship? PT How do relationships affect pro-social behaviour? N What is relationship? The way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. EL The term ‘relationship’ in dictionaries (Oxford, Cambridge, Macmillan, Longman, Collins, and PT Merriam-Webster Dictionaries) emphasizes on ways of connection, individual or group behaviour N towards one another, emotional and sexual association, living together, mutual feelings, mutual dealings and exchange, kinship, romance, friendship, and attachment. Key components? People Things EL Interactions Bonds PT Rules Actions Attitudes Exchanges N Modes … Types of relationships? Gender Family Positive Profession Attitude Romance Negative Community EL Community … Space … … PT N Equal Self Superior One other Inferior Multiple … … Relationships and the way they affect others Gratitude? (social distance) EL Generosity? Trust? PT Social support? N What matters in relationship? Our findings: A Review of more than 650 books and journals EL PT N Rashmi Ranjan Behera , Priyadarshi Patnaik , Damodar Suar. Conceptualizing Relationship in the Context of Well-Being. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 11.2 (2022).  EL Feelings Love, affection, intimacy, empathy, gratitude, trust, forgiveness Behavior Disclosure, support, reciprocity, equity PT Connectedness Identity, attachment, belongingness Communication Meaningful and effective communication N Relationship and wellbeing Findings of happiness research (Handbook of Happiness, 2006) EL The Bangladesh case study (Camfield et al, 2009) PT The kolkata case study (Diener and Diener, 2001) The different kinds of N relationships studied (Fingerman and Hay, 2002) Does relationship only mean family? What about community members and co- workers? Let us take a moment to think… Rate on a scale of 0 (least important) to 5 (very important) … the following items for our happiness and wellbeing: EL Money (after you have enough for all your needs) Health PT Relationship Physical infrastructure N Freedom, choice, etc For how many of you does relationship figure as 4 or 5? Why does relationship matter? All humans have a fundamental ‘need to belong‘ History tells us that we always form communities and networks EL A child’s day dreaming – wouldn’t it be nice to be in a world where we are the only three people? PT N How do different communities look at relationship? Even the poor can be happy? An anecdote with a Happiness expert EL Case 1: For example, slum dwellers in Calcutta found that family, romantic relationships and friends were among the PT most important predictors of life satisfaction (Biswas and Diener, 2001). Case 2: Bangladesh poor who had a moderate level of N resources were as happy as those with plenty of resources. What made the difference was relationship (Camfield et al. 2009). Urban vs. Rural? Forgiveness (in rural community) – relevant for survival Freedom (in urban communities) – relevant in personal relationships EL Working together (in rural communities) – not highlighted! But in urban context highlighted! PT Non-interference (in urban communities) – community level Good behaviour – rural community N Help – rural community Support – urban communities Festival – urban communities Some findings from MS “Does Indian urban-rural divide hold good for relationships and happiness: an exploration,” Rashmi Ranjan Behera and Priyadarshi Patnaik. Copyrighted material 2019. Not to be shared with anyone. Learning points? Now that we know that it pays to give in a relationship, Can we bring about a change? EL Take a moment to reflect PT N When we change, the world around also changes… What is determined by this? Happiness, wealth, health… Situational inequality in network affects this EL PT Example of epidemic hysteria in Tanzania Emotion contagion The hot spice experiment N  Various components of relationship Why they are so relevant Implications for our life and wellbeing EL PT N  https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard- study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/ Rashmi Ranjan Behera , Priyadarshi Patnaik , Damodar Suar. Conceptualizing Relationship in the Context of Well-Being. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, 11.2 (2022) Fingerman, K. L., & Hay, E. L. (2002). Searching under the streetlight?: Age biases in the personal and family relationships literature. Personal Relationships, 9(4), 415-433. EL Some findings from MS “Does Indian urban-rural divide hold good for relationships and happiness: an exploration,” Rashmi Ranjan Behera and Priyadarshi Patnaik. Copyrighted material 2019. Not to be shared with anyone. PT Biswas-Diener, R., & Diener, E. (2001). Making the best of a N bad situation: Satisfaction in the slums of Calcutta. Social Indicators Research, 55, 329–352 Camfield, L., Choudhury, K., & Devine, J. (2009). Well-being, happiness and why relationships matter: Evidence from Bangladesh. Journal of happiness studies, 10(1), 71-91. N PT EL  EL Prof. Priyadarshi Patnaik PT Department of Humanities and Social Sciences & N Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 17 – Networking and its relevance for happiness & wellbeing  EL Why are we connected? How are we connected? PT Three degrees of influence Six degrees of separation Relevance for happiness and wellbeing N  Connection EL Influence Network PT Relationship N Some questions Why are we connected? EL What are the different kinds of connections we have? PT N Can you categorize these connections? Examples The Chronicle of a Death Foretold: EL Romeo and Juliet PT Hall Rivalry Bar Fight N Cascade of violence … Morality resides in groups rather than individuals  The friend of my friend is my friend The friend of my enemy is my enemy The enemy of my enemy is my friend EL Donating a kidney to my best friend’s husband PT Helping my friend’s friend’s friend… N Group vs. network The example of the house on fire Group: Collection Network: Collection Bucket brigade related in a specific way EL No arrangement … to arrangement PT Arrangements can be different Ties N Ties (evolve) are different for different functions Same group can have different ties for different work  Ex: A Village Fire fight Educational help Voting and election Marriage gift and feasts EL PT Created vs. evolved networks N Telephone tree: 50 people have to be notified that classes will not be held. How to do it? Centre and periphery How many friends do you have? How many friends do your friends have? How many friends to your friends’ friends have? EL PT N  EL PT N Interpreting networks  52% probability- your Rules in network friends know one another Networks can involve short term or long term ties Contagion EL What flows across the ties – money, violence, happiness, misery … We shape our networks PT Homophily How many are we connected to N How densely connected our networks are How central are we in our network Average American: Four close friends Poll: How many do you have, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6? Our networks influence us / Friends affect us Number (Norwegian Study) Siblings and intelligence (first born) EL Parental relation Friend and friends’ friends PT Hyperdyadic spread Milgram experiment with pedestrians N 1 – 42%, 15 – 86.%, 5 same (5 is a crowd) The network and its life La Ola: clockwise, 20 seats per second Excitable medium - shifts states quickly EL Networks operate with some degrees of will Collective/networked intelligence (intuitive?) PT N Six degrees of separation Stanley Milgram: 1960s Nebraska experiment – businessman in Boston EL Six hops Duncan Watts and Peter Dodds (2002) 98k subjects –email messages PT to targets around the world N Three degrees of influence Everything we say or do ripples through impacting our friends (first degree), our friends’ friends (second EL degree)and their friends (third degree) PT 1 N 2 3 Why only 3? Ripple effect Social Decay chain reaction Network instability EL Evolutionary reason PT Thus most of us are connected to thousands of people… at three N levels Example, you have 20 friends, who have 20 friends each who have 20 friends each 20x20x20 = 8000 What is determined by this? Happiness, wealth, health… Situational inequality in network affects this EL PT Example of epidemic hysteria in Tanzania N Emotion contagion The hot spice experiment N PT EL  All concepts and many of the illustrations used here are from the book, Connected, Nicholas A. Christakis, Little, Brown Spark, (reprint) 2011 EL PT N  Pro-social behaviour looks like a paradox Why pro-sociality – the case of generosity Social exchange – give and take EL Empathy and mirror neurons PT N N PT EL  EL PT N Prof. Manas Kumar Mandal Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 18 – Money & Happiness  EL Does money buy happiness? PT  Money & Happiness  World Happiness Index N  Happiness in India  Neuroscience of giving  Emotional well-being EL Life evaluation Memory vs moment PT Adaptive set-point N World Happiness Index  UN General assembly adopted resolution EL (65/309) in July 2011 about Happiness: Towards a holistic definition of development PT  Member countries were asked to measure happiness of their people & use the data to N help guide public policy  First released in April 2012: Gallup World Poll  World Happiness Index The parameters: 10-point ladder of subjective experience EL GDP per capita [+] PT Social support [+] Healthy life expectancy [+] N Freedom to make life choices [?] Generosity [+] Perception of corruption [-] https://www.thehindubusinessline.com/data- stories/data-focus/are-indians-unhappy-the-nswer- depends-on-the-metrics-you-use/article65248496.ece Happiness & Well-being in India  How happy are we vis-à-vis Western world? EL  Living standard, objective well-being PT vs. Belongingness, subjective well-being N Does money buy happiness? There are two aspects of well being: emotional well being & life evaluation EL (Kahneman & Deaton, 2010) PT Emotional Well Being = the quality of a http://www.progressfocused.com/2016/09/the-important-difference-between.html person’s everyday experience such as joy, fascination, anxiety, sadness, anger, etc. N Life Evaluation = a person’s thoughts about his or her life (on a longer time scale). Major Findings The quality of the respondents’ everyday emotional experiences did not improve beyond $75,000 a year EL Beyond $75,000, money is important for life evaluation, but does nothing for happiness, or sadness, or stress PT N https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Happiness-income-relationship-with- two-reference-classes-emotional-well-being-is_fig3_266378182  Study by Killingworth-2021 Does money stop you happier after $75,000? EL Money may buy some happiness; Little evidence of an income threshold at which experienced & evaluative well-being diverged PT Proportional differences in money matter the same to everyone N Higher earners find happiness in moment (emotion) & memory (lives) but also reported more stress Chasing money as a goal doesn’t lead to happiness Happiness in India – some questions…  Are Indians hard-wired for unhappiness or designed to face misery? EL  Is there an in-depth study on India?  Do happiness & misery co-exist with PT mutually adaptive set-points in India?  Do societies view happiness differently that N help their culture & survival strategies? Possible arguments… 1. Money has extrinsic value while happiness depends on intrinsic value EL 2. Money may increase happiness & health for those who are poor (Exp finding in Zambia: Natali et al., 2018) PT 3. Beyond the magic number, cultural practices & life-style are the main drivers of happiness N 4. Spending money on experiences (giving to others with no thought of reward) results in more happiness than tangible goods (Dunn et al., 2011) Rich are less generous than the Poor (Dodgson, 2018) Game: deciding how much money they wanted to EL keep & how much they wanted to donate People were assigned as "lower status" or "higher PT status",– signifying wealth lower status participants would contribute more to N the group pot than higher status ones 12 Neuroscience of giving… (see Hein et al., 2016) New research by Gluth & Fontanesi (2016) EL shows that altruistic act is motivated by empathy or by reciprocity PT https://www.science.org/doi/full/10.1126/science.aaf4688 The prediction was accurate in over 80% cases N 13  People’s life evaluations rise steadily with income EL  Emotional well being leveled off at $75,000/year  Higher earners find happiness in moment (emotion) PT & memory (lives) but also reported more stress N  https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/money-matters-to-happiness- perhaps-more-than-previously-thought https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5976828/ https://www.healthline.com/health/can-money-buy-happiness https://happinessreport.s3.amazonaws.com/2021/WHR+21.pdf https://myscp.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1016/j.jcps.2011.02.002 EL PT N World Happiness Report: Helliwell et al., 2020 https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54438013- world-happiness-report-2020 N PT EL  EL PT N Prof. Manas Kumar Mandal Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 19 - How does optimism affect happiness?  EL ▪ What do we understand by optimism? https://content.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20110606,00.html ▪ Are there different kinds of optimists? PT ▪ Is it a gift of nature only handful are blessed with? N ▪ Does optimism help in making decisions?  Dispositional optimism EL Explanatory optimism PT Strategic optimism Optimism bias N Optimism: An attitude reflecting a belief that the outcome of an endeavor will be positive When I wake up in the morning, I look forward to the EL day ahead of me… I believe that I can make a difference in this world… PT N The Science of Optimism: Research findings ▪ Strong negative relationship between optimism & depression EL ▪ Optimism diminishes thoughts of PT heaviness ▪ … improves immune system N ▪ Optimists have better coping strategies to deal with adversities Optimism Types ▪ Dispositional optimism: A tendency to expect a future that is more positive than negative ▪ Good things will happen to me EL ▪ Explanatory optimism: A style of explaining PT negative events by referring to specific external causes that will likely change over time N ▪ You lose money in business but think market is crazy right now. You will do better when it settles down Optimism Types ▪ Strategic optimism: These people distract themselves & don’t dwell on a potentially stressful event coming up. EL Upcoming examination – you don’t give much thought until it comes up & you feel prepared PT ▪ Optimistic bias: The tendency to think that bad N things are more likely to happen to other people & good things are likely to happen to you. I am a better driver than others Pessimism Types ▪ Dispositional pessimism: People who have a chronic tendency to expect a negative future. My future is dim EL ▪ Explanatory pessimism: A style of explaining PT why bad things happens to yourself You lose money in business & consider yourself as N unsmart Pessimism Types ▪ Defensive pessimism: A strategy to manage anxiety by lowering expectations & anticipating a potentially stressful manner. EL You are preparing for examination & think that you may not be able to write at all PT ▪ Pessimistic bias: The tendency to think that you N are worse at something than other people. You expect more bad things & fewer good things. I am horrible on the road…so defer to other drivers Learned Optimism: Martin Seligman, UPenn ▪ Positive psychology aims to discover & promote conditions that enable individuals to thrive EL ▪ Based on learned helplessness & attributional style theories PT N https://www.simplypsychology.org/learned-helplessness.html Learned helplessness: Martin Seligman, UPENN ▪ The passive resignation produced by repeated exposure to negative events that are perceived to be unavoidable EL ▪ Uncontrollable bad events lead to perceived lack of control which culminate into helpless behavior like PT We can’t change the course of negative events Failure is inevitable & insurmountable N ▪ It’s a response to failure & not to success ▪ It’s a control problem & not a competence problem Attributional thinking style ▪ Personal : it’s all my fault ▪ Personal: it might be hard, I would better plan EL PT ▪ Pervasive: It will affect all aspects of my life ▪ Pervasive: I want to make changes or get out N ▪ Permanence: It will never change ▪ Permanence: Things will improve in days to come Optimism bias: An expectancy that good, …, will occur, without evidence to support (Sharot, 2012) ▪ Do we expect to live longer & be EL https://www.amazon.in/Optimism-Bias- healthier than average? Irrationally-Positive-Brain/dp/0307378489 PT ▪ Do we make more mistakes by becoming optimistic unrealistically? N A selective estimation error about future Optimism bias…negative consequences ▪ The bias change's objective reality EL ▪ Underestimating risk reduces precautionary behavior like buying PT medical insurance N ▪ Promote harmful behavior like over- eating, smoking ▪ Temporal discounting like rewarding at present but costly in future ▪ There is negative relationship between optimism & depression EL ▪ Optimists have better coping strategies to deal with adversities PT ▪ Optimism bias modifies objective reality N ‘Optimism should be used as a stimulant, not as an intoxication for misplaced hope’ (Aziz, 2018) https://4enlightenment.com/tag/depression/  Conversano et al. (2010). Optimism and its impact on mental & physical well- being. Clinical practice, epidemiology & mental health, 6, 25-29. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894461/ EL Sharot, T. (2011). Optimism bias: A tour of the irrationally positive brain. Pantheon/Random House. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-16835-000 PT N https://www.amazon.in/Learned-Optimism- Change-Your-Vintage/dp/1400078393 N PT EL  EL PT N Prof. Manas Kumar Mandal Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur Lecture 20 – Sharing & belonging Do people belong to each other already? EL  Does belongingness make us happy? PT Source: Getty image  Why is it so fundamental?  Do we need to unlock belongingness? N  Intimacy EL Compassion Alienation https://www.facebook.com/MutualCareUK/ PT Senseless act of beauty N How does belongingness affect well-being? Belongingness is a basic need EL We develop intimacy in this process PT Intimacy gives us the sense of connectivity, like N being loved The connectivity allows us to give back to those we are attached to…increasing our well-being Belongingness: why is it so fundamental? Need for survival & reproduction EL Ambiguity & interpretation Social exclusion & adaptation PT Conformity & behaviour mimicry N Meaning via intimacy  Self-transcendence Belongingness… Compassion Empathy Belongingness Apathy EL Empathy : feeling with the realization Loneliness what the other is experiencing Melancholy PT Compassion : feeling as ‘another’ & willingness to assist N Transcendence: Feeling with a transformative potential (intersubjective state of self-hood) Intimacy matters… EL  Belongingness helps us ‘read’ others, allows us to develop empathy Source: Getty image PT  Empathy gives rise to compassion, creates intimacy N  Intimacy generates reciprocity for mutual care It is an investment…requires work & commitment Alienation The feeling of NOT belonging to the community, results from an inability to express oneself honestly. EL This may result in… PT  Social isolation N  Norm-lessness  Meaning-lessness  Power-lessness Source: Getty image [unsplash] Outcome of alienation  Alienated people are perceived as being EL different from other members of the group  It creates conflict between social & personal PT demands  It brings low self-esteem and depression, sense N of insecurity, withdrawal, irritability, & self-pity Do we need to unlock belongingness? EL Do we already belong to each other? Are we attached to each other bio-instinctively? PT Why do we indulge in senseless act of beauty? N Source: Getty image 10 How do we justify such non-premeditated acts? EL  People donate bone marrow to people with leukemia  At great risk to themselves, they pull people out of PT burning house  Soldiers throw their bodies to save their comrades N  They jump into river to save people from drowning Social rejection vs Physical pain A closely intertwined system EL Anterior cingulate gyrus is activated in both cases PT The pain of rejection similar to physical pain (R. Covin: ‘The need to be N liked’) https://www.amazon.in/Need-Be- Liked-Roger-Covin/dp/0986957801 Senseless act of beauty (A Herbert) EL The act of kindness creates invisible https://www.pinterest.com/pin/475552041901226161/ connections, a sense of belongingness PT Material incentive restrains the inner call for kindness & a sense of belongingness N Some cautions [S. Godfrey] Just believing a relationship exists does not create a EL sense of belonging A goal-directed action that only needs a minimum PT number of stable healthy bonds We don’t always find more happiness from any extra N relationships we may seek beyond those stable bonds  Belongingness helps us ‘read’ others, allows us to develop empathy EL  The pain of rejection like physical pain  The act of kindness creates invisible connections, a PT sense of belongingness N https://www.thehansindia.com/news/cities/visakhapatnam/visakhapatn am-after-a-long-lull-intimate-wedding-ceremonies-gain-pace-653975  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55523168-from-longing-to-belonging https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1157636.Random_Kindness_Sens eless_Acts_of_Beauty https://sarahgodfrey.com.au/belongingness/ https://repository.lib.ncsu.edu/bitstream/handle/1840.20/35131/etd.pdf?sequ EL ence=1&isAllowed=y Karaman, O & Tarim, B. (2018). Investigation of the correlations between belonging needs of the students attending university & well-being. Universal PT Journal of Educational Research, 6, 781-788. Kross, E. et al. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Biological sciences, 108 (15) 6270-6275 N https://www.oreilly.com/library/vie https://www.amazon.in/Need-Be- w/the-power-of/9781953349873/ Liked-Roger-Covin/dp/0986957801 N PT EL