7-10 Anger PDF

will be - for he never can be - angry with any human being in any other sense than that his righteous indignation burns towards those traits that cause his children to sin, and that it will continue to bum until it destroys those traits, and transforms his enemies into friends. "The man who destr...

will be - for he never can be - angry with any human being in any other sense than that his righteous indignation burns towards those traits that cause his children to sin, and that it will continue to bum until it destroys those traits, and transforms his enemies into friends. "The man who destroyed his enemies" transformed them to friends. God's anger will destroy the enmity of his enemies. He will always be kind·to the unthankful and evil. He "is not angry with the wicked every day." - endquote from BTE. Many Bible translations (even some of the most well-known ones) mischaracterize the nature and character of our Creator. It pays to be diligent when it comes to Bible Study (Amirault). "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth." (2 Timothy 2:15) Chapter7 Chapter Outline: This chapter includes how someone is to overcome anger. It provides helpful tips to do, people to go to, or maybe certain books to read. Everybody has to deal with anger from time to time. But what's the best way to handle it? To answer that question, we must first understand what anger really is. Anger is an emotion often characterized by feelings of great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath and vengeance. Many times, reacting in anger is how we express our dissatisfaction with life. It's defined in the Greek language as the strongest of all passions. Anger begins with a feeling that's often 92 expressed in words or actions. We feel something and it causes a reaction (How Can I Manage My Anger, 20W). Get to the Root of the Problem Anger is the fruit of rotten roots. One of the primary roots of anger stems from the family. Angry people come from angry families because they learn from their role models and carry on the same behavior in their own lives, eventually passing it on to their children. Other Roots of Anger Include... Injustice When people mistreat us but there's nothing we can do about it, we get angry because we feel it isn't fair. As much as we'd like to change the situation or the person who's treating us badly, we can't. People can't change people; only God can change people. So it's best to put our energy into praying for the offender. Strife Hidden, repressed anger, begins with judgment, gossip, backbiting and thinking too highly of yourself. Strife is often exhibited in arguing, bickering, heated disagreements and angry undercurrents. Impatience Often produces anger when we can't get what we want when we want it. When our 93  progress is hindered or slowed down because of others, it's easy to become impatient. Most ofus struggle with impatience on a daily basis simply because of today's fast- paced world. Abuse of any kind Sexual, physical, verbal, emotional or mental abuse almost always leads to anger. They're all injustices, which eventually leave the abused feeling helpless and angry. Abuse of any kind can't be ignored. We must deal with it and process it before we can get free of it. Unmet needs Can also produce anger. We all have needs that can and should be met by those closest to us; however, they don't know and understand our needs unless we communicate with them. But even then they may sometimes fail to meet our needs. Therefore, the answer is ·to go to God with our needs and not to other people. Jealousy Anger caused by jealousy was one of the first negative emotions mentioned in the Bible. Genesis 4 tells us that Cain killed his brother Abel because he was jealous to the point of being angry. Although this is one of the more extreme results of jealousy, it reminds us of how dangerous jealousy can be. In today's society many people feel their status is dependent on their job or position in the church. Because of this mindset, they're afraid someone else may get promoted ahead of them. Jealousy causes them to try to be important in the eyes of man. If you have this problem, 94 understand that God has you where you are for a reason. He knows what's in your future, and He may have you in training for it right now. There's a big difference between being able and being ready to do a specific thing. So don't despise the days of small beginnings. Remember, we must answer to God. Our rewards come from obeying the specific callings He's placed on our lives, not from the great things we accomplish as far as the world is concerned (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). Other roots that lead to anger include fear of confrontation, insecurity, and feeling controlled by a job or other people and their problems. I used to get mad at people who controlled me until God told me one day, "You're just as guilty as they are because you're letting them do it." We shouldn't put excessive pressure on ourselves by making too many commitments just because we don't want to say no to someone (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). Masks of Anger Sometimes we use masks to cover up the things we don't want anybody to see. If we're harboring anger, we think masking it keeps others from knowing the real us. So we hide behind a variety of masks in an attempt to trick people into thinking we're something or someone we're not. I've discovered that people respect you more if you share your real self with them rather · t h"d verything After all people can tell when something isn't right. You may than trymg o 1 e e , think you're hiding your anger, but it'll eventually find a way to come out - either in voice tone, h \d h \der mask When someone makes body language or attitudes. Some people use t e co -s ou. 95  them angry, they may say they've forgiven them, but they become cold, showing no warmth or. m emotion. dea 1·mg w1.th that individual These people live a lonely existence. Because they're so afraid of being hurt, they avoid close, meaningful relationships. This is a classic example of "choosing your pain." They'll choose the pain ofliving an isolated, lonely life instead of working through the p~oblem, determined to develop good friendships. Other people like to use the silent-treatment mask. They say they're not angry with you, yet they refuse to talk to you, or they only communicate when it's absolutely necessary, usually with a grunt or nod. When people avoid being with, touching, or doing things for the person they're angry with, they're hiding behind a mask, which isn't the answer (Meyer). Face the Truth... And Choose Your Pain If you want the great and mighty things God has for you, you must get to the root of anger and deal with it. Get rid of the masks and face the things that happened in your life that made you the way you are today. Admit that you can't change by yourself. Until the root is removed, it'll continue to produce one bad fruit after another. Too often we spend our lives dealing with the bad fruit of our behavior, but we never dig deep enough to get to the root of the problem. ActuaIIy, when we're faced with anger, we must choose our pain. Digging deep to take care of the bad root is painful, but it's the only lasting way to take care of the problem. We can either suffer positively, doing what's right or we can go with the devil's plan. But remember, the same devil who tempts you to follow your human feelings will later condemn you for doing it. You must decide if you want the pain that will take you into a new realm of 96 glory or to keep your same old pain and try to hide it while it's rotting inside you (Meyer). Peter tells us to be well-balanced and temperate, withstanding the devil at his onset ( I Peter 5:8-9). When you begin to feel anger, it's the perfect time to exercise the fruit of self- control. You may have a good reason to be angry, but don't use it as an excuse to stay that way. Instead of denying or justifying it, ask God to help you deal with it in a positive way. Romans 12:21 gives good advice: Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good. When Satan attacks you, instead of getting mad, go bless someone. Responding in a positive way is the direct opposite of what the enemy wants you to do, defeating his plan to keep you upset. It doesn't come naturally, and it isn't always easy, but when we do what we can do, God will do what we can't do. Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). lfwe hang on to anger, we're just being foolish. We must turn the anger and the people who caused it over to God and let Him take care of it....Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord (Romans 12: 19). Trust God and He will take care of you and protect you. You can't change your past, but when you give it to God, He'll use it to bring you a better future (Meyer). Is Anger Sin? ls all anger sin? No, but some of it is. Even God Himself has righteous anger against sin, injustice, rebellion and pettiness. Anger sometimes serves a useful purpose, so it isn't ·n Obviously we're going to have adverse feelings, or God wouldn't necessarily a1ways a Sl. , have needed to provide the fruit of self-control. Just being tempted to do something is not sin. 97 It's when you don't resist the temptation, but do it anyway, that it becomes sin. God sometimes allows us to feel anger so we'll recognize when we're being mistreated. But even when we experience true injustices in our lives, we must not vent our anger in an improper way. We must guard against allowing anger to drag us into sin. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us, When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]. Refuse to give the devil any opportunity to get a foothold in your life through anger (Meyer). All anger, regardless of its cause, has the same effect on our lives. It upsets us, causing us to feel pr-essure. Keeping anger locked inside and pretending it doesn't exist can even be dangerous to our health. Most of the time we're only hurting ourselves, and the person who angered us isn't even aware ofit. So we must take responsibility for our anger and learn to deal with it. Process it and bring closure to it, and that will relieve the pressure. I have been through some rough times in my life, and for many years those experiences caused me to feel miserable. I was so mad about the abuse in my childhood that it was making me bitter and hateful. I was angry with everybody, but one day God confronted me and said, "Joyce, are you going to let that make you bitter or better?" That got my attention, and I eventually had to find who do injustices in our lives and to love the unlovely (Meyer). Take Steps Toward Freedom People are born to be free; it's a gift from God. We're not to be free from responsibility, 98 but free to be led by the Holy Spirit. Any time our freedom is taken away or given away, we experience anger. Are you willing to go through whatever it takes to be free, or do you want to stay in the mess you're in for the rest of your life? If you want to be free, just start doing what God wants you to do, one step at a time, and you'll eventually walk out of your messes. When we are battling anger, we must realize that... we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6: 12). When Satan makes you angry, remember that he's trying to keep you from accomplishing the will of God in your life (Meyer). In 2 Timothy 4:5, Paul told Timothy to be calm, cool and collected and to keep performing the a positive way to process my anger. That was a place of new beginnings for me. When you face your anger and decide to deal with it God's way, you can overcome it. The Holy Spirit gives us the power to be stable and walk in the fruit of the Spirit. We have the power to forgive those duties of his ministry. That's good advice for all ofus. When we get angry, we should calm down and start doing what God has called us to do. You can be bitter or better- it's up to you! If you're mad about something, instead of letting it ruin your life, tum it into something good. Overcome evil and anger by praying for those who hurt and abuse you. Forgive them and be a blessing to them. It may not be easy at first, but when you make the decision and stick with it, God will take care of the rest (Meyer). Question: How can I manage my anger? What can I do to overcome a temper problem? Answer: First, realize that anger itself is not wrong and being angry is not always a sin. Galatians 5:20, which is part of the list of the "works of the flesh" we are to 99  overcome, mentions "outbursts of wrath." By contrast, verse 23 mentions the spiritual fruit of "self-control." Ephesians 4:26-27 adds a few more pieces to the puzzle, "Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." Being angry to the point of sin comes naturally to us, bit God offers to help in our anger management struggle. These verses tell us that being angry to the point of sin comes naturally to us, that Satan encourages the wrong tendency even beyond our human nature and that we can control or manage anger with the help of the Holy Spirit. God does not say that we should try to squelch anger altogether; in fact, the Bible shows that this passionate emotion can motivate us to proper action. The challenge is in anger control. This is accomplished through the process of overcoming (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). The Process of Overcoming an Anger Problem God promises to forgive those who repent, confess their sins, tum from them and tum toward a life of obedience. Most people stop at just feeling sorry when they get caught, but that doesn't cut it. We also have to exercise the will to stop doing what's wrong and put forth effort again to do what is right. Living the Christian way oflife requires work. Sadly, many religious teachers convey that all that one needs to do is ask for forgiveness. We need to know what we've done wrong and what God calls right or righteous. While most assume they know these matters, the truth is, most do not! People who truly want God's help must become educated about His will (Why Do I struggle With Sins I've Repented Of). What happens after we repent of a sinful outburst of anger and ask for forgiveness? 100 Because we still live in this present evil world and still have human nature, we will sin again. The apostle Paul candidly spoke of his ongoing struggle against human nature in Romans 7:14- 25. The necessity to fight this battle should not discourage us, for, as Paul brings out, we can count on victory through Jesus Christ. Many people do not realize that God's forgiven~ss does not remove our human nature, that negative tendency within all people to commit sins like losing our temper. Our human nature is a product of sins that we committed in the past, the effect on our lives of the sins committed by others and the general influence of Satan over the entire world (Why Do I struggle With Sins I've Repented Of). Using the strength of God's Spirit to struggle against negative pulls helps us to develop godly character. By way of analogy, pulling against resistance is the only way to strengthen muscle tissue. On the other hand, muscle tissues atrophy and weaken if they have no weight to pull against. The human spirit is similar, in that a struggle to do what is right strengthens one's character. But a person who never encounters struggles in life will be weak. Further, having to do spiritual battle to achieve anger management motivates us to continuously seek God and His help. That's healthy, lest we become proud and independent. When Christians sin, we need to repeat the initial repentance process: acknowledge the sin before God; ask for His forgiveness and help to change (1 John 1:8-10) (Why Do I struggle With Sins I've Repented Of). Christ inspired Paul to write: "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled" (2 Corinthians 10:4-6) (Why Do I struggle With Sins I've Repented Of). 101  Battling temper temptations Christ is telling us plainly that the battlefield on which we win or lose against temptations is the battlefield of thought. We have to learn to recognize wrong thought - temptations to react violently, to plot revenge, to seethe with rage - whether generated by our own natures or inserted into our minds through any one of numerous aspects of "this present evil age" (Galatians 1:4) (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). Frankly, because modem Christianity misinforms them, most people who think of themselves as Christians never received the benefit of forgiveness and spiritual help. They think they are converted when they aren't. They have been misled by false teachers into believing that all they need to do is pledge their lives to Christ, expecting Him to simply take over for them. This is far from what the Bible teaches about conversion, so these people never experience the spiritual help that God would like to give to them (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). You might consider whether you have God's Spirit in you in the way that He promises to give it to Christians. Review our booklet, Transforming Your Life: The Process of Conversion, for a study of the Scriptures that explain the process. It includes repentance, faith, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands and, finally, continuing in the Christian way oflife (How Can I Manage My Anger, 2010). In conclusion, here are four simple but effective things that all Christians need to do in order to be able to overcome. They apply to anger control too. They are: 1. pray to God instantly when you find yourself tempted-before you actually sin; 102  2. pray regularly and at length at least once every day, in order to maintain a relationship with your heavenly Father; 3. study the Bible every day to learn and be reminded of His will; and 4. meditate often, focusing your thoughts on this specific subject of anger for several minutes, thinking about when you have lost your temper and picturing yourself doing better at anger management. Chapter 8 Chapter Outline: This chapter tells the reader how forgiveness is a necessity to a healthy and devoted life to God. Anger and Forgiveness By Dr. Charles Stanley Letting Go of Anger "Memory Verse: Ephesians 4:30-32 Introduction: There is awesome power in forgiveness. It is God's solution for bitterness, resentment, and hostility. You and I need the freedom found only through sincerely and completely forgiving others. 103 Definitions a) Anger is a strong feeling of intense displeasure, hostility, or indignation as a result of a real or imagined threat, insult, frustration, or injustice toward yourself or others important to you. b) Forgiveness is giving up resentment against someone else, along with your right to get even, no matter what has been done to you. c) Unforgiveness is the deliberate, willful refusal to give up one's resentment and right to get even, based on the attitude that someone must pay for the wrong done. Obstacles to Forgiveness a) Lack of desire: You don't want to forgive. b) Rehearsing what happened: Some people continue to dwell on the hurtful experience. c) Pride: We may believe the other person should initiate reconciliation. d) Fear: Some resist forgiving to avoid looking weak, being misunderstood, or feeling rejected. e) Negative advice: Well-meaning friends don't always offer godly counsel. f) Partial forgiveness: People try to pick and choose which offenses can be pardoned. g) Relying on emotions: Don't make the mistake of waiting until you feel like forgiving. h) Expecting quick results: Forgiveness can take time. i) Justifying the other person's actions: Some people will rationalize what happened so that they don't have to forgive. Scriptural Teaching a) Our fellowship with God suffers when we refuse to release others from their sins against us (Matthew 6: 14-15). 104  Bear with each other and forgive on~ another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 2. Be ready to forgive over and over again. Matthew 18: 21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? "Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." 3. To avoid making others be overwhelmed. 2 Corinthians 2:5-8 If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent-not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, 111  therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 4. Love will lead to forgiving others. 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 6 Love is patient, love is kind It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 5.Priority when it comes to forgiving others. Matthew 5:23-24 "Therefore, if you are offeritig your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." 6.Forgive others rather than judge others. Luke 6:37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. John 8:7 112 When they kept on questioning him, ~e straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 7. A remarkable example of forgiveness. Acts 7:59-60 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep. 8. Jesus is our Model. Luke 23:33-34 When they came to a place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals - one on his right, the other on his left, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." 9. Jesus' command to us. Luke 17:3-4 So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and ifhe repents forgive him. lfhe sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." 113  10. How to treat enemies. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20 I believe that your life will be blessed through forgiving others. Would you like to choose to forgive for the benefit of others? Maybe your decision can bring an opportunity of redemption for others." Question: What is forgiveness? Fr. Jonah: To forgive means to restore a bond of love and communion when there has been a rupture. Sin ruptures our relationship with God and others, as also do offenses taken and given among people. When the bond is broken with other people, we tend to objectify them and judge them, not seeing them as persons, but only as objects of our anger and hurt. This is our sinful reaction. We categorize people in terms of their transgression against us. The longer we nurture the anger and alienation, the more deeply the resentment takes hold in our heart, and the more it feeds on our soul. Resentment is a cancer that will destroy us if we don't forgive! It also leaks out and damages our relations with others when we slander and gossip about those who have offended us and try to draw others to our own side. Of course, no one should want to hear such things - but we do (Jonah). 114 :,es not mean justifying the offensive action or accepting it as right, nor does it mean Lstifying one's own anger or sinful reaction. Forgiveness means laying aside our judgments of te other person and our own sinful reactions, and accepting others for who they are (Jonah). God's forgiveness ofus and our sins against Him is unconditional and absolute. God :,es not reject us, objectify us, or bear anger or resentment against us. These are, I think, our ~ojections onto God of our own issues and judgments against ourselves when we sin. God )es not punish us. Rather, by alienating ourselves from God, we punish ourselves and ascribe liS punishment to Him. We tum in on ourselves in anger and self-hatred, and thus shatter our ~rsonhood, cutting ourselves off from His love. By asking God for forgiveness, we open ourselves to His love and acceptance, His grace 1d compassion. These were there already, but we neglected them. By confessing our sins, we Lrrender these areas of our lives where we have justified our self-alienation from God. ~pentance means not only turning away from sin, but also turning to God. Judas was morseful for his sin - but hanged himself. We need not only to be remorseful, but also to 1en ourselves to God (Jonah). 11estion: How are reconciliation and forgiveness related? Fr. Jonah: Reconciliation presupposes forgiveness. If we forgive someone, we need to be open to reconciliation, if possible. Reconciliation is forgiveness in action - the actual restoration of the interpersonal bond between two people, in mutual acceptance of each other for who each one is. Forgiveness and reconciliation can lead to a stronger bond than previously existed. Each 115