Perception (Part 3) PDF

Perception (Part 3) So, we’ve already talked about impermanence earlier and how everything is constantly in motion, shifting... changing. Change is the only thing you can be sure of and it will happen whether you want it or not, on its own terms, not on yours… and the exercise you did in section 3,...

Perception (Part 3) So, we’ve already talked about impermanence earlier and how everything is constantly in motion, shifting... changing. Change is the only thing you can be sure of and it will happen whether you want it or not, on its own terms, not on yours… and the exercise you did in section 3, around the exploration of the realities of your physical structure, aimed at really nailing down this understanding of impermanence/change and its impersonal quality. Through this experiential understanding, you began to witness impermanence at the subtlest level, on your body. In this current section (4), we are also learning to explore change, which is to say, the non-lasting, insubstantial, and impersonal nature of mental phenomena. Through observation of your mental environment, you have started to notice how thoughts, emotions, even beliefs, values and personalities, all are equally constantly shifting and changing. Everything is ephemeral, arising and passing away every moment, but in our lives, we don’t typically see that change happening because everything appears in a linear progression and we get caught up in the action of it. The ame of a candle and the light of an electric lamp are both constantly changing. If by one’s senses one can detect the process of change, as is possible in the case of the candle ame, then one can emerge from the illusion. But when, as in the case of the electric lamp, the change is so rapid and continuous that one’s senses cannot detect it, then the illusion is far more di cult to break. And if one isn’t able to detect such change in most everything, because of the rapidity of change, then how is one even supposed to accept change as a fundamental truth of existence? It’s di cult. Here’s a great analogy… When we go to the movies, we don’t typically see the true nature of what’s happening – the entire movie just being a cascade of images moving at 25-30 frames per second. What we see is a continuous flow of images, and even more so, we get very lost in its stories. That is precisely what's happening in our lives. The only way is to break the illusion is to sit in silence and observe one’s physical and mental structure. Only then can one see through experience the truth of impermanence. As the understanding of change develops within oneself, another insight arises… There is no "self"; no "I"; no one to whom experience is actually happening. As a proof of that, within the physical and mental structure, there is nothing that lasts more than a moment; nothing that can identify as an unchanging self or soul. If experience indeed happens to one; if something is indeed "mine”, then one must able able to possess it, to control it, but in fact, one has no mastery even over one’s own body: it keeps changing, decaying, regardless of one’s wishes. When we don’t develop a habit of observing reality carefully and mindfully, the illusion of permanence prevails and ego (self) persists amidst all passing states and conditions. This is so because although everything is passing, the mind keeps creating concepts and stories that appear to be you -- who YOU are! And this can't be any further from the truth. This is the result of a mind that hasn’t seen the illusion – of impermanence and ego. There is one deeply habituated perception of the world and of ourselves that keeps most people imprisoned in this illusion of permanence and ego, and it is the perception we all have about the solidity of things. This perception is one that really keeps us from an understanding of what is ultimately true, beyond everything else we may think or believe to be true. As long as this perception of solidity is there; as long as one remains submerged in this illusion, one can’t deeply understand selflessness and impermanence, and this becomes the origin of many inaccurate conclusions, first, and second, it’s bound to result in suffering for us. But, why do we have this idea of solidity in the rst place? Why is it so strongly conditioned in our view of how things are? One reason is because of the rapidity of change. Things are changing so fast and at such an imperceptible level that they appear to be solid, or continuous, and this creates an illusion of permanence. This rapidity of change obscures the reality of things as they truly are: mostly empty space, and above all impermanent. And so, we can't examine carefully this composite nature of things in our daily life. You see, if you put something apparently solid under a very high powered microscope (let's say that 100 dollar bill in your pocket), all of a sudden there would be a whole di erent reality emerging. What appears to be solid would, in fact, be a mass of rapidly changing elements. The microscope would dispel the illusion of you owning that collection of impermanent and changing elements because it would expose the true reality of the bill. The deeper you would zoom in with the microscope, the closer you would be to the truth of what the bill really is. The concept or notion of "money" would then disappear, and so, you would realize that what you are clinging to; what you’re calling mine, is just empty space. But, when you'd take your eyes o of the microscope, you would bath again in the illusion of the solidity of things. And it’s the same with anything in our world, really. Our bodies, minds, cars, houses, trees, buildings, the markets... when the perception is stronger than the mindfulness, what happens is that we see and recognize ONLY the general appearance of things and then take that concept of car, body, house, to be a thing existing in and of itself. And so we build attachment towards those things… My body, my car, my land, my house. With this sense of entitlement comes many, if not all, of humanity’s troubles. This is especially glaring in the markets… There is a tremendous amount of attachment to ourselves and our story, and that is why most of us can’t trade effortlessly, without resistance! You wake up in the morning, see yourself in the mirror, see the re ection of your body… “yep, that’s me.” That familiar recognition of who you are... Then, you turn on the computer, open your trading software, check your PnL, and unfortunately, you have a losing trade on your hands. “Oh, no, I am in loss. That loss happened to ME. I feel so bad. ” “I” this… “I” that… “My loss”... “My win”… “My trade.” No, my friends, this is not an accurate assessment of reality, and a very limiting one. Even if you believe that the feeling you call “I” is a real thing, given the fact that change is impersonal nothing is really happening against you… or for you! Things are just happening in this “thing“ we call life.. and it’s always impersonal! As an experiment, look at a past painful loss, one that has been most damaging to you emotionally, and see if you can recognize and enumerate the memories (concepts and feelings) that arise from this "loss". Then hold this question in your mind: Is there really a loss? And is this loss really MY loss? Intellectually you might think to yourself, “Oh there's no loss, only a learning experience. Plus, this is not MY loss, it’s just A loss.” But then try to go about your regular trading day while not seeing your future losses as losses. Try to look at them free of the concept of "loss", and accept them as learning experiences ONLY. It’s very di cult to do that because some concepts have been so strongly conditioned in us that it’s hard to see reality free of them. But this is what we’re learning… we’re learning to drop the concepts we have of things and learning to see and appreciate things as they are! We don't typically see that our very being; what we’re calling "self", is a constellation of changing experiences and elements -- of body and mind. And each one of these elements is also momentary and insubstantial. We get so xed on an idea of "self" as a thing existing independently because we rely on our super cial perception or recognition. We get locked in perceptions and concepts that very often were not ours, to begin with. A lot of them are genetically determined, a lot of them are acquired through experience... but we live our lives imprisoned by them, and we can't engage the markets free of these limitations, without replaying those old unproductive patterns again and again and again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denigrating the importance or usefulness of perception and concepts creation. These are useful in separating out particular experiences from all the others and they create a division that is not inherently there. This, in many instances, allows us to learn and to grow, but most of the time, this wonder capacity is used against itself. For example, if we’re very identified with the concept of money, it has very grave implications because it leads to craving; to attachment towards one’s own identity, and with that, the inevitable fear of loss, of failure, which almost always causes one to make repeated trading errors. So, what I'm saying is that it is useful to learn to see beyond our perception and concepts. For instance, you can know that a watch gives you time, or that money allows you to feel secure while you're alive, but you can also keep in mind that this watch is mostly empty space, just like your very sense of self, and that money... well, you need some of it only in case you do not die tomorrow. This appreciation of different levels of understanding can help free you from the habit of clinging and grasping that plagues the vast majority of people in this world. Our self-observation practice is to really understand that what we call body, self, or the various apparently solid things in our environment, are not, in fact, solid at all -- and especially not static. Everything really exists as energy fields. As your practice continues through sustained interest, development of concentration and attentiveness, this will become clear to you through your own experience. There will come a point where your awareness of your body and mind will become so increasingly refined that you will begin to perceive your own body just as that – energy… nothing but energy. And the usefulness of this insight into the nature of things is that you will begin to see different levels of reality, and you won't settle for a simple surface perception or recognition of how things are. In the markets, as you pay attention carefully to your feelings, sensations, thoughts in the midst of trading, you will be able to go in your experiences free from concepts, and thus, prejudice, judgments, opinions… you will be able to approach trading in perhaps unconventional ways. As you gain direct awareness of momentary changing sensations, coming up and passing away, those will bear no decisive power over your actions. As you continue to grow as a careful and sharp self-observer, you will begin to see all changing elements of experience without creating a concept of self. This will bring you right into the moment of direct experience of exactly what is happening, in or out of the markets, without the creation of any extra concept or mental construct. You will begin to live in your experiences free of the addiction of “I” of “self”, of “mine”. We live in a world of concepts, but there is a reality out there… and when we understand and see that reality, we also see that we are nothing. And being nothing, we are everything! Here's a little video that can hopefully give you a better sense of appreciation for that "thing" we call existence. Nothing but empty space in a deterministic universe