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Questions and Answers
What was the narrator doing when they heard about the volleyball scores, the dance, and the history project?
Why did the narrator feel guilty after reading Margo's initial message?
What was the narrator's emotional response when they realized Margo thought she was talking to her father?
What did Margo ask the narrator to do in her final message?
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How did the narrator feel after reading Margo's final message?
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What was the narrator's primary concern about being a stepmother?
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What was the primary purpose of setting up the e-mail and chat-line service?
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What was the outcome of the narrator's decision not to identify herself in the instant message?
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What did the narrator mean by saying that modern tools of communication can also be tools of alienation?
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What was the significance of the narrator's name appearing alongside her husband's in the email messages?
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Study Notes
The Stepmother's Experience
- The author married a man with four small children from his previous marriage, becoming their stepmother.
- Despite adjusting to their new family situation, the author felt like an outsider, never having had children of her own.
- The children lived primarily with their mother, but spent a lot of time with the author and her husband.
Dealing with Distance
- When the children moved to a town five hours away, the author and her husband set up an e-mail and chat-line service to stay in touch.
- The technology allowed them to communicate daily, but sometimes made the author feel more disconnected and in need of real human contact.
The Instant Message
- One evening, the author received an instant message from her oldest step-daughter, Margo, who was also up late.
- During their chat, the author didn't identify herself, and Margo didn't ask, assuming it was her father.
- When Margo expressed affection, the author felt a wave of sadness, realizing Margo thought she was talking to her father.
- The author responded in kind, not wanting to embarrass Margo, but felt guilty for not clarifying.
The Outsider Feeling
- The author felt a sharp ache of emptiness and otherness, still feeling like an outsider in the family circle.
- Margo's final message, asking the author to tell her father goodnight, brought the author to tears.
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Description
A personal account of becoming a stepmother to four teenagers and the process of adjustment and bonding. Learn about the challenges and experiences of building relationships in a blended family.
