Podcast
Questions and Answers
A bid for connection is solely about physical touch.
A bid for connection is solely about physical touch.
False
The ideal goal ratio for positive sentiment override in a relationship is 20 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
The ideal goal ratio for positive sentiment override in a relationship is 20 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
True
Turning against is one of the responses to a bid for connection.
Turning against is one of the responses to a bid for connection.
True
Positive sentiment override focuses on negative aspects of a relationship.
Positive sentiment override focuses on negative aspects of a relationship.
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Soften your startups is one strategy for managing conflict in a relationship.
Soften your startups is one strategy for managing conflict in a relationship.
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Sharing thoughts and feelings is an example of a nonverbal bid for connection.
Sharing thoughts and feelings is an example of a nonverbal bid for connection.
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Having a sense of humor during disagreements can be beneficial in communication.
Having a sense of humor during disagreements can be beneficial in communication.
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In emotional connection, personal narratives should only emphasize negative past experiences.
In emotional connection, personal narratives should only emphasize negative past experiences.
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Discussing childhood memories is a way to learn about your partner's inner world.
Discussing childhood memories is a way to learn about your partner's inner world.
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Questions about favorite toys and television shows do not provide insight into a person's beliefs and values.
Questions about favorite toys and television shows do not provide insight into a person's beliefs and values.
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An example of a question to explore spirituality is asking how one defines ‘art’.
An example of a question to explore spirituality is asking how one defines ‘art’.
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Hypothetical questions can help partners explore potential life choices and values.
Hypothetical questions can help partners explore potential life choices and values.
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Asking your partner about their favorite movie star is a good way to delve into their childhood experiences.
Asking your partner about their favorite movie star is a good way to delve into their childhood experiences.
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One can learn about a partner's hopes and dreams by discussing their spiritual beliefs.
One can learn about a partner's hopes and dreams by discussing their spiritual beliefs.
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Understanding a partner’s fears and worries can help in building emotional intimacy.
Understanding a partner’s fears and worries can help in building emotional intimacy.
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Asking if someone would play Russian Roulette for a large sum of money helps to understand their spiritual views.
Asking if someone would play Russian Roulette for a large sum of money helps to understand their spiritual views.
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Study Notes
Relationship Building and Communication
- Understanding Partner's Inner World: Discuss dreams, hopes, goals, friends, family, philosophies, faith, music, art, worries, fears, triumphs, challenges, injuries, and healing processes.
Partner's Childhood Exploration
- Questions about Childhood: Ask about first memories, first day(s) of school, learning to ride a bike/swim, favorite pets, teachers, games, toys, books, TV shows, and holiday celebrations.
Exploring Beliefs and Values
- Beliefs and Values Questions: Discuss favorite movie stars, songs, hypothetical letters to their younger selves, quirks, daydreams, nostalgia, happiness, sadness, and what friends might say about them.
Spirituality and Religion
- Spiritual and Religious Questions: Inquire about belief in God, perceptions of divine entities, definitions of spirituality/religion, disagreements within their faith, hypothetical questions to God, and messages to deceased loved ones.
Hypothetical Questions for Intimacy
- Hypothetical Questions: Explore desires for wishes, movie portrayals of their life, ideal living locations, regretted past actions, time-travel, street-found money reactions, necessary sensory loss, Russian roulette scenarios, death awareness, community sacrifice scenarios.
Increasing Intimacy
- Questions for Increased Intimacy: Explore thoughts before first kisses, romantic evening ideas, favorite body parts, sensitive body areas, and sexual fantasies.
Building Intimacy Components
- Intimacy Components: Scanning the environment for positives, building a couple culture of appreciation, fondness, affection, and respect, and positive/romantic re-narratives of couple history.
Bid for Connection Defined
- Bid for Connection: An action or skill of reaching out to connect emotionally with another person.
Responding to Bids
- Responding to Bids: Turning towards (positive response), turning away (negative response), and turning against (actively hostile response).
Communication Bids
- Verbal Bids: Sharing thoughts, feelings, observations, opinions, and invitations.
- Nonverbal Bids: Affectionate touch, facial expressions, playful touch, affiliation gestures, vocalizations (laughter, sighs, etc.).
Positive Sentiment Override
- Positive Sentiment Override: Focusing on positive relationship aspects; goal ratio of at least 5 positive interactions for every negative interaction (ideally 20:1).
Conflict Management Strategies
- Conflict Management: Soften disagreements, repair attempts, self/partner soothing, win-win or compromise strategies, and avoiding score-keeping.
Conflict Communication Strategies
- Conflict Communication: Complaining without blaming, using "I" statements, describing situations objectively, being clear, polite, appreciative, avoiding "kitchen-sinking," admitting wrongdoing, maintaining humor and confidence, affectionate interactions during disagreements, taking breaks, restarting conversations, offering and accepting apologies, and communicating love and commitment.
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Description
Explore the depths of your partner's inner world by discussing their childhood, beliefs, and spirituality. This quiz will help you understand their dreams, values, and significant life moments. Connect on a deeper level by inquiring about their thoughts and experiences.
