Personality Plus Ch 10

Powerful Choleric Temperament: Understanding and Improvement

• Core Belief: Powerful Cholerics believe they are always right, making it difficult to see their potential faults. This conviction stems from a need to win and maintain a positive image in every situation.

• Childlike Behavior: Children exhibiting this temperament are driven to succeed and avoid losing face, often resisting authority regarding matters of personal preference. This often involves finding creative justifications to gain their desired outcome.

• Mr. No-Fault Attribute: This type of individual frequently rationalizes their shortcomings as flaws in others, refusing to acknowledge personal responsibility for their actions.

Workaholic Tendencies (Problem)

• Inability to Relax: This temperament thrives on constant activity and achievement, leading to feelings of guilt when relaxing or taking breaks. Their belief is that life is for constant accomplishing and production.

• Compulsive Behavior: The author illustrates this tendency through personal anecdotes, like planning vacations in meticulous detail to avoid unproductive downtime. (See examples for instances of this).

Solutions for Powerful Cholerics

1. Relaxing

• Awareness of the Problem: Powerful Cholerics need to be mindful that working constantly can damage well-being. They should acknowledge the need for relaxation as a step towards improved health and well-being.

• Counter-intuitive Planning: Even for relaxation, Powerful Cholerics often engage in planning to ensure they are maximizing their time.

2. Combatting Guilt Regarding Relaxation

• Addressing Workaholism: A suggested book ("When I Relax I Feel Guilty") is a tool to understand and combat this common issue. The author advocates opening communication on the topic.

3. Impact on Others

• Overbearing Behavior: Powerful Cholerics' single-mindedness, while admirable professionally, can put pressure on others and foster a sense of inadequacy.

• Example of the Impact: Anecdotal experiences highlight situations where Powerful Choleric behavior can be overwhelming for others, needing to be addressed.

4. Planning Leisure Time

• Need for Leisure: Although workaholic, this temperament needs to understand the value of planning and engaging in leisure pursuits, not as a chore but an activity.

• External Guidance: An outside perspective or professional help from "Leisure Lifestyle Consultants" is suggested to overcome these internal barriers to healthy leisure activities.

Control Issues (Problem)

• Control-Focused: This temperament is often most comfortable when in control of situations. Feelings of insecurity can arise when not in a leadership role, leading to a need for control.

• Resistance to Others' Input: This can involve looking down on others, a perceived inferiority, or a tendency to manipulate others into getting their way.

Solution for Control Issues

1. Responding to Different Leadership Styles

• Adaptability: Powerful Cholerics must learn to adapt and respond to various situations and leadership styles. Their perspective needs to include a variety of leadership experiences.

2. Acknowledging Others' Views

• Superiority Complex: Addressing perceived shortcomings in others needs addressing, and this should lead to acknowledging that not everyone will think the same way as them.

• Perspective Change: Shifting away from a perception of superiority and towards empathy is an important goal.

3. Avoiding Manipulation

• Ethical Considerations: Powerful Cholerics must recognize the negative impact of manipulation. Focusing on transparency and honesty in relationships is beneficial for the individual and those around them.

• Example of Manipulation: Author provides anecdotal examples of manipulation, showing impact on personal relationships.

Managing People (Problem)

• Impatience: This personality often exhibits impatience with others. This relates to a difficulty understanding different ways of working or handling tasks, which leads to an inability to deal with people experiencing difficulties.

• Offering Unsolicited Advice: This personality tends to offer advice unprompted. This is often done because they see themselves as helpful, but isn't always perceived positively by others.

Solutions for Managing People

1. Practicing Patience

• Understanding Others' Pace: Recognition that not everyone operates at the same speed is key. This involves adapting to others' needs and handling situations with more restraint.

2. Providing Advice Only When Asked

• Appropriate Intervention: Intervention should be provided only when asked.

3. Avoiding Bossy Behavior

• Demeanor Modification: The text frequently points to "bossy" behavior in this temperament and it's importance to be mindful of others' feelings and reactions. Avoidance of assertive behavior is necessary.

Rightness and Popularity (Problem)

• Refusal to Admit Fault: A fundamental issue is the inability to admit wrongdoing or accept that they may be wrong.

• Difficult Counseling: This makes counseling or reasoning with this temperament more challenging.

Solutions for Rightness and Popularity Issues

1. Letting Others Be Right

• Flexibility: Being able to accommodate opposing views in order to form a relationship.

2. Apologies

• Essential Action: Powerful Cholerics must understand the importance of apologizing when they are at fault. This action is a sign of respect and humility.

3. Understanding Their Own Faults

• Self-Awareness: Recognizing their personal weaknesses and working to overcome them will make them more well-rounded individuals.

• Key Take-Away: There are suggestions on how to address issues with this personality type and to understand that a balanced approach to life is vital. (Refer to the concluding "Remember" sections for summaries of key points.)