Podcast
Questions and Answers
What is the suggested approach when you make a mistake at work?
What is the suggested approach when you make a mistake at work?
Why should you avoid office gossip?
Why should you avoid office gossip?
What should you do when you're told something about you that is upsetting?
What should you do when you're told something about you that is upsetting?
What is the main reason your boss is concerned with correcting you?
What is the main reason your boss is concerned with correcting you?
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What should you do when faced with a situation that raises a red flag of fear for you?
What should you do when faced with a situation that raises a red flag of fear for you?
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Why should you thank your boss for their input?
Why should you thank your boss for their input?
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What is the suggested approach to dealing with a performance review?
What is the suggested approach to dealing with a performance review?
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What should you do when invited to gossip at the office?
What should you do when invited to gossip at the office?
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What is the benefit of writing down what you would do differently next time?
What is the benefit of writing down what you would do differently next time?
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What should you imagine when you need praise and motivation at work?
What should you imagine when you need praise and motivation at work?
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When you make a mistake, you should dwell on it to learn from it.
When you make a mistake, you should dwell on it to learn from it.
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Your boss is primarily concerned with punishing you when correcting your mistakes.
Your boss is primarily concerned with punishing you when correcting your mistakes.
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It's a good idea to get defensive when you're told something about you that is upsetting.
It's a good idea to get defensive when you're told something about you that is upsetting.
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You should ignore your fears and worries when facing a difficult situation at work.
You should ignore your fears and worries when facing a difficult situation at work.
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When someone praises you, you should downplay their compliment and focus on your own mistakes.
When someone praises you, you should downplay their compliment and focus on your own mistakes.
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Study Notes
Worry and Self-Confidence
- Worrying can lead to a loss of years in a lifetime, and it never fixes anything.
- Fanya, a 23-year-old paralegal, landed a job with a large law practice but struggled with self-confidence and anxiety due to her critical father.
Hypervigilance
- Fanya entered a state of hypervigilance, feeling uncertain and paranoid about her decisions and work.
- She became overly sensitive to her boss's tone and assumed her peers were gossiping about her.
Unconscious Response to Work
- Fanya's experience was rooted in an unconscious response to her work "family," transferring feelings about her father to her boss and peers.
- She grew up with a critical and hard-to-please father, making her feel perpetually wrong and unworthy.
Effects of Childhood
- Children who grow up with parents who can't or won't listen to them may develop feelings of shame and incompetence.
- These feelings can be internalized, affecting job performance and self-confidence.
Mastering Negative Feelings
- It's essential to detach oneself from negative feelings and objectify the situation by separating facts from feelings.
- There are four ways to do this: understand that work is about results, not personal identity; focus on doing what you're supposed to do; recognize the catch-22 of low confidence; and gain confidence through expertise.
Action Steps
- Resist discounting yourself and take credit for your accomplishments.
- Don't beat yourself up over mistakes; instead, learn from them.
- Avoid office gossip and remain calm in the face of criticism.
- Don't become defensive, and thank others for their input.
- Focus on gaining confidence through doing rather than worrying.
Worry and Self-Confidence
- Worrying can lead to a loss of years in a lifetime, and it never fixes anything.
- Fanya, a 23-year-old paralegal, landed a job with a large law practice but struggled with self-confidence and anxiety due to her critical father.
Hypervigilance
- Fanya entered a state of hypervigilance, feeling uncertain and paranoid about her decisions and work.
- She became overly sensitive to her boss's tone and assumed her peers were gossiping about her.
Unconscious Response to Work
- Fanya's experience was rooted in an unconscious response to her work "family," transferring feelings about her father to her boss and peers.
- She grew up with a critical and hard-to-please father, making her feel perpetually wrong and unworthy.
Effects of Childhood
- Children who grow up with parents who can't or won't listen to them may develop feelings of shame and incompetence.
- These feelings can be internalized, affecting job performance and self-confidence.
Mastering Negative Feelings
- It's essential to detach oneself from negative feelings and objectify the situation by separating facts from feelings.
- There are four ways to do this: understand that work is about results, not personal identity; focus on doing what you're supposed to do; recognize the catch-22 of low confidence; and gain confidence through expertise.
Action Steps
- Resist discounting yourself and take credit for your accomplishments.
- Don't beat yourself up over mistakes; instead, learn from them.
- Avoid office gossip and remain calm in the face of criticism.
- Don't become defensive, and thank others for their input.
- Focus on gaining confidence through doing rather than worrying.
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Description
Quiz on Fanya's story, learning to manage anxiety and worry in a new job role. Discover how to balance enthusiasm with emotional control.
