محتوى حول الغضب والاستقرار الأسري

Family Formation Before Marriage

• Young people often feel a need for companionship with the opposite sex.
• Fundamental needs of young people: emotional and sexual.
• Maslow (a humanist psychologist) sees love as the third fundamental need fulfilled through a friend, spouse, or social connections.
• Murray says that humans need to cooperate with people who resemble them or whom they like.
• Sexual needs are the most important biological needs. Marriage satisfies these needs. Failure to satisfy them through marriage leads to significant issues.
• Religious teachings emphasize the need for emotional connection with the opposite sex within the framework of marriage.
• The initial stage of human needs is biological needs.
• Friendship with the opposite sex begins in adolescence due to the awakening of instincts.
• God warns against inappropriate friendships, advising that whoever denies the pillars of faith will undoubtedly have their actions spoiled in the hereafter and will be among the losers.
• Factors involved in friendships with the opposite sex include:
  • Social or academic partnerships
  • Mate selection
  • Understanding the opposite sex
  • Emotional emptiness
  • Feeling of power
  • Escaping from problems
  • Monotony in life
  • Media and internet influence
  • Sexual pleasure
  • Family background
• Friends of the opposite sex have unique characteristics. They cannot be used as a model for spouse selection.
• Emotional emptiness often arises in children of families with conflicts.
• Sound judgment discourages friendships with the opposite sex.

Consequences and Disadvantages of Friendships with the Opposite Sex

• Cognitive impairment -2 Anxiety (due to being covert) -3 Mental discomfort-4 Reduced confidence-5 Weakening of support systems-6 Reduced likelihood of successful marriage-7 Increased unstable marriages -8 Harm to girls -9 Sinful acts.

• To prevent dependence:

  • Prevent the expression of emotions
  • Avoid professional collaboration
  • Control one's gaze
  • Do not act in a way that makes the other person believe in healthy relationships
  • Directly or indirectly inquire about the other person's view if finding them suitable for marriage.

• Prophet Muhammad: Whoever falls in love, hides their love, maintains chastity, and shows patience, God will forgive them and enter them into Paradise.

• God to the angels: Observe my servant who has refrained from their desires for my sake.

Online Relationships and Marriage

• If interacting online with the intention of marriage:
  • Be cautious about the information shared.
  • Avoid inappropriate language.
  • Control emotions.
  • Formalize the relationship as a marriage proposal to clarify details.
• Disadvantages of online friendships include threats of exposure for ending the relationship due to emailed or posted messages and causing emotional distress.
• Unfavorable marriages due to sympathy or fear of suicide from the other party, Parental disapproval, Lack of trust in the prospective spouse.

Ending an Unsuitable Relationship

• If you realize that your loved one is not suitable for marriage:
  • End the relationship.
  • Be aware of the following:
    • Time needed to forget.
    • Convince yourself that marriage with this person would not have made you happy.
    • Avoid any further contact.
    • Disengage from their presence.
    • End the relationship decisively.
    • Prepare responses for potential contact.
    • Review their negative traits.
    • Engage in hobbies.
    • Recite "God is the best of allies" when their image appears to you.
    • Increase contact with relatives and friends.
    • Reinforce friendships with devout people.
    • Avoid loneliness.
    • Ask God for what is best.
    • Proceed with marriage with a suitable person

Islamic Laws Regarding Sexual Conduct and Human Dignity

• Emphasize modesty in interactions with the opposite sex.
• Advocate a negative view of following animalistic instincts.
• Advise modesty in one's gaze, hearing, speech, and touch (sinful acts begin with these senses).
• Adherence to hijab (modesty) by women.
• Chastity is a barrier against satanic temptations.
• Reprehensible acts include music, inappropriate play, and illicit sexual relations.

Forbidden Sexual Relations

• Masturbation is a major sin.
• Relationships with the opposite sex outside of marriage are forbidden.
• Same-sex relations are forbidden.
• Consequences of masturbation include:
  • Impairment of brain function.
  • Sexual dysfunction.
  • Weakening of the nervous system.

Temporary Marriage (Mut'a)

• Temporary marriage is permissible for those unable to secure permanent marriage.
• It is permissible for the married to enter into a temporary marriage if they are not in contact with their spouse.
• A temporary marriage should be contracted with the condition of a specific period and dowry, spoken in Arabic. Without these aspects, the marriage is null. Sustenance is not provided to the wife. The husband and wife do not inherit from each other. It terminates upon the expiry of the term or the husband's waiver. The consented to a minor girl or an eligible minor girl for marriage must have permission from their parent.

Marriage During Marriage

• The best way for humans to fulfill their need for the opposite sex is through marriage,
• Functions of marriage:
  • Character development.
  • Strengthening faith.
  • Relieving sexual urges.
  • Creating inner peace.
  • Satisfying sexual needs.
  • Gaining independence.
  • Experiencing leadership competencies.
  • Access to broad support systems.
  • Gaining social status.
  • Fulfilling the desire for immortality.
• Love for a spouse and children fosters emotional growth in married individuals.
• Prophet Muhammad: When a young person marries at the beginning of their youth, Satan cries out, "This servant has preserved two-thirds of their religion from me. Now, this servant must maintain virtue in their remaining one-third."

Family Disputes and Conflicts

• Stress levels:
  • Death: 100
  • Divorce: 73
  • Living separately: 65
  • Sexual problems: 39
  • Significant changes in relationships due to family problems: 35

Family Difficulties and Obstacles

• Academic pursuits.
• Educational level.
• Economic issues.
• Military service.
• Parental Divorce.
• Parental history.
• Age.
• Parental illness.
• Strict appearance standards.
• Incorrect beliefs.

Additional Notes

• Family disagreements due to financial issues.
• Difficulties in finding a suitable partner.
• Family disapproval.
• Cultural differences if adopting new marriage customs.
• Marriage to single-parent families due to the need for more affection.
• Disability.
• Large family size.
• Remarriage.

Family Consolidation

• Factors for strengthening families:
  • Faithfulness.
  • Affection for family members.
  • Pleasant communication.
  • Proper satisfaction of sexual needs.
  • Family financial management.
  • Respect for differences between members, respect for each other's families
  • Confidentiality.
  • Forgiveness and patience.
• Faithfulness: One of the most effective attributes is faith and adherence to its teachings.
• Mutual affection: The Quran uses the terms "affection" and "mercy" to describe the relationship between married couples. Trust and intimacy are seen as the souls that bind them.
• Imam Sadeq: When the love of a person to their spouse increases, their faith also grows; wives who love their husbands are considered treasure.
• Couples need to communicate their inner feelings to each other.
• Prophet Muhammad: Whoever kisses their child, God will reward them in the Hereafter.
• Positive effects for family members include warmth and belonging to the family, support offered to children, encouragement in endeavors, development of innate talents, joy in life, and social connection.

Family Consolidation Issues

• Emotional expression.
• Effective verbal communication.
• Respect for the spouse and family.
• Marital harmony.
• Maintaining confidentiality.
• Financial stability.

Additional Notes

• Emotional fulfillment.
• Sexual satisfaction (balance and respect for differences between both spouses).
• Financial stability.
• Open communication.

Economic Management of the Family

• Islamic and national laws assign the responsibility of household expenses to the husband.
• Women can contribute to family peace and well-being by managing spending wisely and educating children about it.

Additional Notes

• Differences between men and women in their perspectives and strengths.
• Men are strategic thinkers, and women pay more attention to details.
• Men are more sensitive to what they see, and women are more sensitive to what they feel.
• Men are goal-oriented, while women are relationship-oriented.
• Women need support, and men desire leadership roles.
• Women tend to be more imaginative, while men are more analytical.
• Women often have greater and more powerful communication skills.
• Respect and appreciation for one's spouse is a high priority.
• Avoiding disputes and conflicts.
• Confidentiality.

Additional Notes

• Forgiveness.
• Patience.
• Modesty.