Marriage and Family Part 2

Family in a Changing World

• Consumerism: the mentality of constant buying and accumulating material things
• Materialism: preference for material possessions and physical comfort
• Hedonism: the belief in pleasure as the ultimate good and man’s life-aim
• Secularism: excessive concern with the affairs and things of the world
• 4th World Congress of Families Situationer, Recommendations, Actions - held in January 2003

Filipino Family Today

• Kahirapan: the societal reality that plagues the Filipino family today
• Caught between the forces of Tradition and Modernity

Dimensions of Family

• Family as Cell of the Society: the family is the first and vital cell of society
• Family as the Domestic Church: shares in the life and mission of the church
• Priestly mission in the family is manifested by constant contact with God through Prayer

Family Relations

• Effective Communication:
  • Listening: not only to the sound of spoken words but also to the sound of silence
  • Non-Verbal Signs: perceive these in a positive way
  • Directness: does not resort to hazy suggestions and innuendoes that may contaminate the message
  • Clarity: concise and clear
• Husband-Wife Communication:
  • Non-Verbally: a powerful means to affirm one’s spouse
  • As Adults: maintain time to find intellectual stimulation and newness
  • As Children: bring out the child in them to have a vibrant and fun relationship
  • As Husband and Wife: involves the intimate giving of oneself and receiving from the beloved through a conjugal relationship
  • Spiritually: the highest form of communication
  • Emotionally: tender thoughts and feelings written and exchanged can enhance and deepen their love for each other
  • Mutual and Diverse Interests: serves as stimulation and growth in communication
  • Socially: predominant mode of communication before marriage
  • Culturally: sharing tradition leads to appreciation and understanding
  • Man’s/Woman’s Condition: different point of views offer excellent opportunity for communication

Community of Love and Life

• Love as the Binding Force: Pope John Paul II highlighted that man can only reach his fullness in true love
• Conjugal Love: finds its most powerful human expression in a love that deepens within marriage

Peace and Justice in the Family

• Charter of Family Rights: rights accorded to the family
• Declaration of the Rights of the Child: UN released its own declaration of the rights of the child

Healing

• Basic Concept: fulfillment of God’s plan which is to incorporate every human family in God’s entire spiritual family
• Need for Healing: the process by which the sick person becomes whole and healthy
• Inner Healing: healing of painful memories
• Sacraments:
  • Baptism: cleanses us of sin and gives birth in the Spirit
  • Confirmation: makes it possible for Jesus to pour out the fullness of the Holy Spirit on us
  • Holy Eucharist: celebrates Jesus sharing His Body and Blood with us
  • Reconciliation: makes Jesus forgive us
  • Matrimony and Holy Orders: consecrate us for two special callings
  • Anointing of Sick: offers us Jesus’ healing powers
• The Holy Family of Nazareth: model of all Christian families

Growth and Maturity

• Maturity: the stage of growing up when a person may be described as a grown-up or an adult or mature
• Factors Influencing Growth:
  • Heredity: traits and personalities coming from the family lineage
  • Environment: we are continuously being conditioned by the people around us
  • Education: needed to set an intellectual background in order for a person to make decisions affecting his or her growth
  • The Gift of Grace: “Moved by grace, a man turns towards God and away from sin...” (CCC 2018)

Total Man and Total Woman

• Man discovers that he is unique and therefore different from all living things
• Sex is not a shameful thing, it is a divine gift ordained to life, to love, and to fruitfulness

Sex and Human Sexuality

• Sex: refers to a biologically based need that is naturally oriented towards the generation of new life
• Sexual: everything that makes a man, man; and a woman, woman
• Sexual Relationship: refers to being with other sexual beings due to the need to relate with other human beings
• Sexual Maturity: the emotional and physically satisfying capacity to form a stable relationship with the opposite sex
• Sexual Health: has 4 different levels of sexual well-being; somatic, emotional, intellectual, and social
• Complementarity: God designed man and woman differently because of this
• General Sexual Attraction: intriguing interest in the opposite sex as a whole
• Personal Sexual Attraction: plays a role for God’s plan in marriage

Chastity

• Chastity: the virtue by which we learn to control and regulate our own sex drives
• Purity and Modesty: guardians of Chastity
• Pre-Marital Sex: also known as the sin of fornication; a carnal union between a couple who are both unmarried

Maturing in Love

• Elements of Love:
  • Care: shown by the active concern for the life and growth of the one we love
  • Responsibility: ability to respond to his/her needs, expressed or unexpressed
  • Respect: ability to see the person as he is; to be aware of his unique individuality
  • Knowledge: active in-depth consciousness of another person’s real image, leading to genuine communication
• Mature Love: Genuine love that endures
• Qualities of Mature Love:
  • Altruistic: lovers give and don’t expect anything in return
  • Freeing: one is allowed to be who he really is without thinking, no matter what
  • Honest: to know each other very well, not simply his or her image
  • Happy, Sad, and Neutral: it can be sad or happy at one time, sometimes both at the same time
  • Empathetic: to be free with another
  • Strengthening: both people are growing together

Friendship

• Different Ways of Looking at Friendship:
  • Abbot J. Nimeth, O.F.M.: a friend brings joy into life and pours back into soul his self-respect
  • Aristotle: a single soul dwelling in two bodies
  • St. Thomas: as the highest form of love and places it in opposition to love of concupiscence
• Qualities of True Friendship: morally helpful to both parties, genuine basis of agreement, characterized by the spirit of self-sacrifice
• Ability to Listen: not only what one is saying but also what they are trying to say
• Trustworthiness: whatever secrets cannot be violated
• Reverence: not a possession but a subject to be cherished
• Receptiveness: being open to others
• Friendship Is:
  • Trust: the idea that you can trust to be important to another person
  • Evolves Slowly: it cannot be created instantly or overnight
  • Patient: developing on commonality and complementarity
  • Not Competitive: there is no need to surpass the other
  • Open-Ended: it is never perfect and has to be worked on constantly
  • Outgoing: enables us to give more to the other
  • Playful: we put aside our barriers in order to enjoy the time we have

Human Love in Its Fullness

• Love Between Husband and Wife: human love in its fullness is found in conjugal love
• Total Commitment: required in conjugal love
• Sex in Marriage: the sexual act, also known as the conjugal act between married persons