Managing Feelings of Failure

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Questions and Answers

What causes a person to 'beat themselves up'?

Ignoring their values and pursuing external rewards.
Constantly comparing themselves to others.
Failing to meet self-imposed expectations. (correct)
Achieving all their goals without any setbacks.

What word does Perry suggest reframing to improve one's thought process?

"Can"
"Must"
"Will"
"Should" (correct)

Replacing 'I should' thoughts with 'I'm working towards' can lead to what?

Increased pressure to achieve goals faster.
Complete avoidance of responsibilities.
A more relaxed and positive mindset. (correct)
Guaranteed success in all endeavors.

What is the benefit of noticing your thoughts without getting caught up in them?

It provides an opportunity to think more clearly. (A)

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Why is it important to consciously think about your values?

To align your actions with what truly matters to you. (C)

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What is one method suggested for identifying your core values?

Creating a long list and eliminating those of lesser importance. (B)

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Where can you find lists specifically designed to help you identify your values?

Online by searching 'list of values'. (B)

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What does the process of whittling down a 'list of values' help you to achieve?

Clearly define your core principles. (B)

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What type of actions should be taken in response to circumstances?

Actions that better align with your values. (C)

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What is the first step in dealing with your 'I should' thoughts?

Notice your thoughts. (D)

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Why is it suggested to not get 'caught up' in your thoughts?

So you can think more clearly and respond better. (D)

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What is an alternative phrase that could replace the thought 'I should'?

"I'm working towards" (B)

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Reframing your 'I should' thoughts helps combat...

Self-criticism. (D)

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What could be a consequence of not considering your values?

Actions that lead to regret. (A)

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What sort of exercise can help you to identify your values?

Listing values and removing those of less importance. (D)

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Why might it be beneficial to align your actions with your values?

To have a more authentic life. (C)

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What is a good search term to use online to find value lists?

"List of Values" (A)

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Choosing to act based on external expectations can lead to...

A disregard for personal values. (B)

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If you find yourself constantly using the word 'should' in your thoughts, you may need to...

Examine your thought process. (C)

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Reframing your thoughts can help you respond to situations in a way that is...

More aligned with your values. (C)

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Flashcards

The 'Should' Effect

The feeling of failure arises from the discrepancy between your current state and your perceived ideal state, leading to self-criticism.

Reframing 'Should' Thoughts

Consciously rephrasing thoughts involving 'should' into 'I'm working towards' or 'I would like to' can reduce self-criticism.

Observing Thoughts

When you observe your thoughts without getting entangled in them, you can think more clearly and make choices aligned with your values.

Identifying Values

Identifying your core principles involves starting with a broad list and systematically eliminating less important values to clarify your priorities.

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Study Notes

Feelings of failure arise from the gap between one's current state and perceived expectations.
The word "should" often triggers negative self-judgment.
Reframing "I should" statements to "I'm working towards" or "I would like to" can be helpful.
Noticing thoughts without getting caught up in them allows for clearer thinking.
This enables responses aligned with personal values.
Identifying values involves considering a list of options and eliminating those of lesser importance.
Online resources with lists of values are available.