Effective Ways to Start a Conversation

40 Questions

What is the primary goal when problem-solving with your parent, according to the text?

To gather facts and help in a better-informed way

What is the recommended approach when observing health issues in a parent, according to the text?

Focusing on specific limitations to figure out the best solutions

What is the purpose of closely observing a parent's activities in the context of in-home care, as per the text?

To identify areas where in-home care help may be needed

What is the recommended approach when considering moving or relocating a parent, based on the text?

Present winnowed options to reduce anxiety for the parent

What is the purpose of testing the waters before starting a conversation with a parent about a tough issue, according to the text?

To gauge if the parent is open to having a conversation about the tough issue

What approach is recommended if a parent asks, 'What should I do?' in the initial conversation about a tough issue?

'Let's work on it together when I see you.'

When is it usually best not to plunge into problem-solving in the first talk with a parent, according to the text?

When there is resistance or indifference from the parent

Who is often better suited to bring up tricky topics like driving or independent living, as suggested by the text?

A neutral third party like a doctor or family friend

What is the primary focus of 'The Talk' when discussing tough issues with aging parents?

Balancing both sides' needs

Why might a previously sharing and receptive parent become less open to discussions about sensitive topics?

Concerns about losing control and dignity

What should adult children consider when discussing sensitive subjects with their aging parents?

Balancing their parents' needs with their own

What should individuals recognize about their aging parents before initiating 'The Talk'?

Their parents welcome straightforward discussions

What is the key advice for individuals on how to approach 'The Talk' with aging parents?

Be cautious and plan ahead

Why might a close-lipped parent be relieved to have 'The Talk'?

To maintain control and dignity in a season marked by losses

What is the primary difference between the two types of parents discussed in the text?

One type values privacy, while the other does not

What do most adult children aim for when discussing sensitive topics with their aging parents?

Solving the problem and moving on

What is the recommended approach to starting a serious conversation with your parent?

Focus on connecting and having fun before diving into the serious conversation

What is an example of a good way to open a serious conversation with your parent?

Start with compliments, such as 'I like how you've...' or 'Wow, looks like...'

What is reflexive listening and why is it important in difficult conversations?

Rephrasing what your parent says to show understanding and provide support

Why might some older adults shy away from change or avoid making changes?

Because they fear the consequences of change or upsetting someone else

What is a strategy to help reassure a resistant parent during a difficult conversation?

Talk up the positives and stress how the solution is good for everyone involved

When is the best time to enter into a serious conversation with your parent?

At a time when everyone is relaxed and open to discussions

What should you do if your parent is resistant to change?

Find ways to be reassuring, talk up the positives, or stress how the solution is good for everyone

What should you avoid saying when initiating a serious conversation with your parent?

'The house was a mess last time I was there. You need a housekeeper.'

What should one do if a parent is very resistant to a conversation about moving?

Encourage more input and keep the discussion positive and collaborative

Who may have better luck in having a conversation with a resistant parent about moving?

A family friend or doctor

What is one way to encourage a parent to consider an assisted living option?

Drive by the best place identified and suggest dropping in together to have a look

What should be done if the loved one doesn't give an opening after some time has passed?

Bring up the issue again in a test-the-waters way

How should one respond if the parent mentions the conversation in a positive manner?

'Yes, I could see you being happy there. What do you think it would be like to live there? Let's think about what we'd have to do to make that happen - I can help.'

What is NOT recommended when trying to bring up the issue again after some time has passed?

'Wasn't that place we saw nice? We need to get you out of here!'

What should one do if the parent expresses a concern about the proposed changes?

Be patient and try to get at the underlying concern, find ways to address and support it

What is NOT recommended when continuing the conversation at any time?

'Wasn't that place we saw nice? We need to get you out of here!'

What should you do if your parent is of sound mind but is making decisions that you disagree with?

Continue the conversation in a positive way

When can it be appropriate to get a family doctor and lawyer involved?

When the person is making decisions that endanger themselves

What should you make clear when discussing decisions with your parent?

You're comfortable with any decision

Why is it important to remain upbeat and supportive during difficult conversations?

To maintain a welcome sounding board for your parent

What should be remembered about transitions involving sensitive topics?

They require an ongoing dialogue

When should a power of attorney or guardian be appointed for the person?

If they are of unsound mind

What is the best course of action if your parent is not endangering themselves but making decisions you disagree with?