Dissolution and Loss of Relationships

Dissolution and Loss of Relationships

• Current divorce rates are approximately 50%
• This is attributed to higher and more diverse expectations for marriage

Factors Contributing to Divorce Rates

• Increased independence of women due to more employment opportunities
• This leads to more conflict between work and family
• Higher financial independence
• This results in them being less dependent on their partner
• People are becoming more individualistic
• Children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce
• Increased acceptance of divorce due to more people having divorced friends
• More people cohabit before marriage, leading to changed beliefs about marriage
  • Less respect for marriage
  • Less favorable expectations of marriage
  • Increased willingness to divorce

Levinger's Barrier Model

• Used to understand relationship dynamics in intimate or romantic relationships
• Focuses on three key factors that influence relationship stability and quality
  • Attraction
  • Alternatives
  • Barriers

Attraction

• Definition: Positive feelings and bond shared by partners
• Encompasses physical, emotional, and shared values/experiences
• Impact: Stronger attraction leads to greater investment in the relationship
• Results in less consideration of alternatives and reduced pressure from barriers
• Factors: Common interests, emotional intimacy, physical attraction, shared goals, and mutual respect are key

Alternatives

• Definition: Perceived options outside the current relationship
• Includes potential partners or lifestyles
• Impact: Attractive alternatives are a threat to the current relationship
• It can lead to its dissolution
• Factors: Availability of other partners, freedom, opportunities, and dissatisfaction with the current relationship heighten appeal

Barriers

• Definition: Factors that make leaving a relationship difficult, even when attraction is low or alternatives are appealing
• Can be internal (emotional attachment) or external (financial commitments, societal expectations)
• Impact: High barriers lead to staying in unsatisfying relationships
• Leaving would be too costly or difficult
• Factors: Children, shared assets, social/cultural expectations, long-term investments, and fear of loneliness are common

Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation (VSA) Model

• Framework for understanding how couples handle challenges
• Highlights the interaction of vulnerability, stress, and adaptation in influencing relationship quality

Vulnerability in the VSA Model

• Definition: Personal traits, circumstances, or experiences that make a couple prone to relationship difficulties
• Includes individual (personality, trauma, mental health) or couple-specific issues (communication styles, expectations)
• Impact: Vulnerabilities make relationships more susceptible to stressors
• Types:
  • Individual: Low self-esteem, pessimism, unresolved trauma
  • Relationship: Poor communication, differing expectations, unresolved conflicts

Stress in the VSA Model

• Definition: External challenges or events that pressure the relationship
• Arises from external (financial problems, health issues, work) or internal (disagreements, changes in expectations) sources
• Impact: High stress makes maintaining the relationship difficult and can lead to emotional distancing
• In extreme case this also causes frustration, and conflict; it can even lead to separation or divorce
• Some stress can catalyze growth
• Types:
  • External: Job loss, illness, financial strain
  • Internal: Miscommunication, unmet needs
• Stress spillover: Stress from one area of life "spills over" into other areas

Adaptation in the VSA Model

• Definition: Coping mechanisms and strategies for managing stress and vulnerability
• It can occur through communication, negotiation, and adjustment
• Impact: Successful adaptation strengthens the relationship
• It enhances problem-solving, improves emotional support, and increases resilience
• This includes conflict resolution skills, emotional regulation, and learning from experiences
• Strategies:
  • Positive: Healthy communication, respect, shared problem-solving
  • Negative: Avoidance, aggression, withdrawal

PAIR Project (Process of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships)

• Longitudinal study starting in the 1980s
• Exploration of romantic relationship dynamics over time
• Focuses on how couples adapt to challenges and how these adaptations affect longevity and satisfaction

Key Focus Areas of the PAIR Project

• Adaptation examined how couples manage challenges and changes like personal difference or new children
• Relationship satisfaction: Examined contributors to long-term satisfaction and dissatisfaction
• This includes communication, conflict resolution, emotional support, and mutual respect
• Conflict and stress: Handling conflict predicts long-term relationship satisfaction, couples with good conflict management maintain satisfaction
• Intimacy and affection include emotional support, and it can change how a factors contribution to overall relationship health

Adaptation Process in PAIR

• Relationships evolve as partners change by adjusting expectations, roles, and emotional needs
• These adjustments strengthen or weaken the relationship

Findings from the PAIR Project

• Early predictors of relationship outcomes include:
  • Early relationship satisfaction
  • The way couples handle conflict
• Stress and vulnerability: How well couples manage stress and how vulnerable they feel is crucial to happiness and stability
• Interaction patterns focused on how partners communicate, express affection, and support each other, which also affect happiness

Implications of the PAIR Project

• Conflict resolution and communication findings suggest the ability to teach couples how to manage conflict
• This can improve long-term satisfaction
• It can also reduce the likelihood of divorce or separation
• Long-term relationship education emphasizes the importance of providing couples with adaptation tools
• Supportive environments can give someone a a better chance at adapting to relationship challenges

Limitations of the PAIR Project

• Cultural differences exist since the study primarily focused on couples in Western societies
• Self-report bias may be introduced due to social desirability or misremembering
• Limited generalizability exists since it focused on a specific set of couples but may not apply to other groups
• Non-random sample: The sample had couples who voluntarily participated, and may not be fully representative of all couples

Enduring Dynamics Model

• One of three models of relationship development and dissolution
• Focuses on factors contributing to long-term satisfaction and explains why relationships experience distress, breakdown, or dissolution
• Suggests relationship problems are present from the beginning
• Problems are shaped by pre-existing individual differences (personality, experiences, attachment)

Key Points of Enduring Dynamics Model

• Pre-existing traits and patterns play a crucial role in developing relationship distress
• Early differences in communication, values, or conflict resolution contribute to long-term dissatisfaction
• The model focuses on how incompatibilities in partners' needs or behaviors persist and create later problems
• Couples who struggle with early dynamics face increasing challenges later

Emergent Distress Model

• Suggests relationship difficulties gradually develop over time
• It is caused by stressors, changes, and challenges couples face
• Unlike the Enduring Dynamics Model, issues are not apparent from the start
• Highlights the gradual development of problems that emerge over time

Key Points of Emergent Distress Model

• Relationship issues emerge later
• Stressors, life changes, or poor coping strategies cause distress.
• Couples may initially appear happy
• Difficulties become more apparent over time.
• External stressors can build up and cause distress

Disillusionment Model

• Focuses on how couples enter relationships with unrealistic expectations and idealized views of their partner
• Over time, these idealized beliefs become disconfirmed as reality sets in
• The gradual realization that the partner is not as "perfect" leads to disillusionment

Key Points of Disillusionment Model

• Couples start with idealized perceptions
• Over time, unrealistic expectations are disconfirmed, leading to disappointment
• Disillusionment sets in as partners begin to see each other's flaws

Main Results on Why Marriage Goes Wrong

• Enduring dynamics model problems often exist from the start due to pre-existing traits
  • Early differences in communication, and this contributes to long-term relationship dissatisfaction
• Emergent distress model suggests that problems develop gradually
  • Relationships may suffer from external pressures that strain emotional connection and satisfaction
• Disillusionment model states that couples enter relationships with idealized views and unrealistic expectations
  • Unrealistic expectations become a source of frustration

Key General Results of the Models

• All three theories indicate the different types of relationship distress arise at different stages of relationship
• Realistic expectations, effective communication, and early interventions all maintain relationship health

Steps of Divorce

• Personal phase: A person grows dissatisfied
• Dyadic phase: The person reveals their discontent
• Social phase: Publicizing their distress to family and friends
• Gravdressing phase: Getting over their loss
• Resurrection phase: partners re-enter life as singles

Aftermath of Divorce

• Churning: Breaking up and getting back together
• Getting over it and adjusting
• Turning back to friends and family for support
• Women's finances usually decrease
• Continued contact needed when couples have children

Breaking Up With Chlidren

• Fiery foes: Ex-spouses are constantly in conflict and are hostile
• Angry associates: Bitter ex-spouses whose interactions are only transactional
• Cooperative colleagues: Ex-spouses working together for the benefit of their children
• Perfect pals: Ex-spouses that engage in social activities together

Children of Divorce

• Children who lose a parent are more likely to divorce
• A child's parenting quality indicates the divorce rate in their relationships
• Economic hardship is a major stressor
• Parental conflict has shown to be the most potent influence of divorce on children
• It can cause anxiety